by S. Nelson
Rationally, I knew my sister was right.
But emotionally… well, that was an entirely different hurdle.
“Are you going to lock yourself away in your room after work, like you have been for the past two weeks?”
I didn’t appreciate Avery’s tone, but I couldn’t blame her for it either. I shut myself off from the world the moment I stepped foot in the front door every night, crawling into bed. I barely ate, and although I slept most of the time, I was exhausted. Whenever my phone rang, I thought it was Nolan calling, and I was disappointed every time I looked at the damn screen.
My sister intercepted calls from our mother, telling her I was out or busy or sleeping. I had enough guilt to deal with right now; I couldn’t add to it by trying to explain the situation to her, or to anyone else for that matter. In an odd way, I wanted to protect Nolan, and I figured by keeping everything bottled inside, hiding the secret from everyone, except for Avery, I was protecting him. In reality, I was only hurting myself, but that didn’t stop me from continuing to do it.
“What else am I going to do?”
“Not do that.” Her suggestion seemed so simple, yet I realized following her advice right now would be impossible.
Shuffling around my room, not caring I was running late, I donned a simple pair of black trousers and a taupe blouse. I had court in a little over an hour and needed to dress up. Grabbing a pair of black heels, I snatched my purse off the edge of the bed and brushed past Avery, who stood in my doorway.
I could hear her sighing dramatically behind me, trying to get my attention without speaking. “I’m not in the mood this morning.”
“When are you ever anymore?” I hurried down the steps, making my way toward the kitchen to pour some coffee into my travel mug as I didn’t have time to stop anywhere. She followed me, determined to piss me off. “This isn’t healthy. At least last time you’d sit on the couch with me and watch lame movies.”
“Last time?” I made eye contact with her while I twisted the cap on to my mug.
“With Todd. You were upset and sad, but at least you didn’t shut me out completely.” She was right. This time I’d withdrawn into myself. “I’m working an earlier shift today. Swing by the bar after work and have a drink. I’m sure you could use one.”
I started to protest but stopped. “Fine. One drink, then I’m coming home and going to bed.” I wanted to ask if Nolan had been in, taking up residence in his assigned seat but I couldn’t bring myself to voice the question. Besides, I figured she’d tell me if he had. Then again, maybe she wouldn’t, thinking that knowledge would only serve to hurt me.
Avery’s smile at my acceptance made me feel bad for ignoring her like I had been. “Promise me you won’t change your mind.”
“I won’t. You’re right. I could use a drink.”
After court, I went back to the office, ate a granola bar for lunch, and made two house visits. At the last minute, I decided to swing by Linda Grendon’s to check on her and the boys. I’d called her a few days ago to see how she was, and she told me they were fine. She also told me she hadn’t heard from her husband, Roy, in weeks. Was she telling me the truth? I sure hoped so, for the sake of her life and those of her children.
As I traveled to her apartment, my thoughts drifted to Nolan, as they often did. The shock of the news had waned some, replaced with overwhelming sadness at how everything turned out.
Countless times, I dialed his number but could never bring myself to follow through. I’d also typed out numerous messages, but again, chickened out and never hit Send. It was easier to not reach out than to have him reject me. That had been my logic for the past two weeks, and I didn’t see it changing anytime soon.
Pulling up outside the complex, I gathered my things and exited my car. Taking a quick look around just to be safe, I walked toward her door and knocked three times. Nothing. I knocked again, and this time I heard someone moving around inside, but they didn’t answer.
“Linda? It’s me, Quinn.” I waited a few seconds but still nothing. “I’m just stopping by for a quick visit. I won’t be long.” I pressed my ear to the door, and I heard hushed voices this time. As a precaution, I pulled out my cell phone and unlocked the screen, and that was the moment the handle twisted and the door opened, but only a fraction, enough for me to see the left side of Linda’s face.
“Now isn’t a good time.”
“I’m sorry about that, but I promise I’ll be quick.” I apologized with a smile, hoping that would do the trick.
“Can’t you come back another time?”
There was something off about her demeanor. Typically, she welcomed me into her home, no matter what time of day I showed up unannounced. But right now, she seemed fidgety.
“I’d rather not,” I answered, determined to find out what was going on.
“Please,” she whispered.
I didn’t ignore her plea because my gut told me her please was a cry for help and not one of asking me to come back. My phone screen had gone black, so I swiped it again, my keypad ready and waiting for me to input three digits, which I did quickly. But as I lifted the device to my ear, waiting for the 911 operator to answer, the door suddenly swung open.
The side of Linda’s face I couldn’t initially see was swollen and bruised, but I couldn’t focus on her right then because the man standing behind her stared at me like he wanted to do me grave harm.
I vaguely heard someone speaking on the other end of the line, but I didn’t hear what they said as I was dragged inside the apartment and thrown to the floor like a ragdoll, my phone slipping from my hand and disappearing beneath the couch.
“I warned you not to come back here, but you didn’t listen.” As he walked the few spaces to where I was sprawled out on the floor, my eyes diverted to Linda, silently pleading with her to do something, even though I knew she wouldn’t because she was terrified of her husband.
Roy towered over me, and I froze in fear. I couldn’t move. I could barely breathe. I’d never felt so small, so helpless.
I didn’t see him lift his leg, but I sure as hell felt it when he kicked me in the side, the breath forced from my lungs with the attack. There was no time for me to curl into a protective position as he gripped a clump of my hair and yanked my head forward, then back. It was then I saw what he held in his right hand, the butt of his weapon connecting with the side of my face a moment later.
He shouted.
He kicked me again, and again.
He pulled me close and spit in my face, but all I could do was struggle against him, even though my efforts were futile. I liked to believe that under different circumstances, I could’ve defended myself, even if only to escape and call for help. But the shock and surprise of being dragged in here thwarted any instinct I might’ve possessed.
The impact of another strike to the side of my head sent me reeling backward. As I lay on the ground, willing my body to stay alert, my ears pricked for sound, but I only heard an incessant buzzing. My eyes were open, but I couldn’t see anyone. No movement, no figure looming over me again, no hands reaching to pull me back up. My only solace was the darkness creeping in, kind enough to lay down its blanket of protectiveness over me.
41
Quinn
The smell of antiseptic penetrated my nostrils first. Then it was the shrill and consistent beeping that assaulted my eardrums, becoming louder as the fog of unawareness slowly dissipated. Then the agony set in, my entire body overrun with so much pain I couldn’t pinpoint the precise source. All my senses melded together, overwhelming me until I finally gave up and drifted back into the shadows of unconsciousness.
“I think she’s waking up,” I heard someone say, but I didn’t recognize the voice, other than it came from a woman. “I saw her eyelids flutter. Now her fingers are moving.”
I opened my mouth, but when I tried to speak, the sound that escaped was a guttural groan, one I didn’t recognize as coming from me. I willed my lids to open, but there wa
s a delay that happened before my body finally accepted the command from my brain. An intrusion of light infiltrated, causing me severe pain that I had no other choice but to close my eyes again.
“Don’t try to talk, sweetheart. Just keep still. We called the doctor in. She should be here any second.” That voice belonged to my mom, her soothing tone easing my brief wave of panic.
If she was here, then I was safe.
Focusing on my breathing, each intake of air as painful as the last, I counted to fifteen before I heard another voice, this one female as well.
“Quinn.” A hand covered mine. “I’m Dr. Stephens. Can you hear me?” Again, I tried to speak but failed. I nodded instead. “That’s good. Can you open your eyes for me?” I shook my head that time. “Does the light hurt too much?” Another nod. “Okay. How about I pull the curtains shut? Can you try for me then?” I offered a third nod in response. I heard the rustling of fabric. “Can you try and open your eyes for me now?”
My lids fluttered, opening slowly, shifting me from one darkness to another, only this time I could make out the shadowy figures of several people standing next to me. One of them I knew to be my mother, and the doctor, but I wasn’t sure who the other one was just yet. I assumed she was a nurse.
After a moment, Dr. Stephens spoke again. “I’m going to open the curtains and allow some natural light to flow inside. Okay?”
“Yes,” I managed to croak, my one-word response barely audible, but she heard me. I prepared for my head to start pounding with the first stream of sunlight, but there was only a dull ache, more than I’d ever felt before but not as strong as moments ago.
I watched as the doctor walked up next to me again. She checked my pupils, jotting a few things down as she checked the rest of my vitals. Her smile was warm, her bedside manner comforting.
“As you might’ve guessed, you’re in the hospital. You were pretty beaten up when you came in. You sustained three broken ribs, a fracture to your left eye socket, and a collapsed lung.” I raised my arm to touch my face and winced with the movement. “You also had a grade three concussion. There was no bleeding on the brain, but we’re continuing to monitor you very closely in case anything changes.” I looked from her to my mom, who stood on the other side of me. “Don’t worry. You’re in good hands. You just need to get as much rest as you can and allow your body the time it needs to heal.”
Movement toward the entryway of the room drew my attention. My heart stuttered when I saw two police officers standing there. Neither was Nolan, but that didn’t stop a tear from escaping just seeing the blue uniform.
“We need to talk to her about what happened,” the tall, dark-haired one said, shifting on his feet as he looked from me to the doctor and back again. The other cop was silent, his gaze flitting around the room, only landing on me once.
“Not now. She just woke up. You’re going to have to come back later,” Dr. Stephens responded, squeezing my hand before walking toward them.
Once the three of them were gone, I looked over at my mom, the tears in her eyes making me want to wrap my arms around her and comfort her instead of worrying about me.
“How long?” I only managed to expel two words, hoping they were enough. I pressed my fingers to my throat afterward.
“Do you want some water?” I nodded for what seemed like the umpteenth time. With a flick of a switch, my bed was elevated just enough I didn’t have to struggle when she assisted with raising my head and bringing the cup to my lips. I took several small sips. The minor effort took its toll, and I collapsed backward, wanting nothing more than to fall back asleep, but I needed some answers first. “You’ve been here for two days,” she finally answered.
“Two days?” I repeated, my throat’s dryness not as harsh. I prepared to ask another question, but Avery rushed into the room. She was beside me several strides later and embracing me with a gentle hug.
“Thank God you’re awake. I was so scared.” Her eyes were red and puffy. “Don’t you ever do this to me again.”
“I’ll try.” The corner of my mouth twitched, which seemed to calm her.
Avery looked to our mom. “Why don’t you go down to the café and get something to eat? I can sit with Quinn for a while.” I saw in her eyes she was hesitant to leave me, and my sister noticed it as well. “She’s fine, Mom. Go. You need to eat.” Several reluctant seconds later, she agreed and left the two of us alone.
“What happened?” I didn’t remember much, hazy bits and pieces of memory filtering in the longer I remained alert. But the puzzle was still missing many parts.
“Nolan found you at some apartment complex.”
“Nolan?”
“Yeah. Luckily, he was close by when he got a call of a domestic disturbance. He told me he recognized the address and rushed over.”
“He told you? You talked to him?”
Now it was her turn to nod. “Apparently, you dialed 911 but never answered the operator. But you also never hung up, so they were able to trace the call.” The memory was fuzzy, lingering in the corner of my mind. “He found you lying on the floor unconscious and bleeding. He stayed with you until the ambulance came. Even rode with you here. The man didn’t leave your side that first night. Only when the doctor told him you were doing better did he go, and even then, he didn’t want to.” Avery’s hand clasped mine tightly. “He was a wreck, Quinn. He kept rambling about how all this was his fault.”
“How is this his fault?” I asked her a question I knew she didn’t have the answer to.
“I don’t know. Like I said, he was a mess.” She took a moment before continuing. “He wanted me to ask you if it was okay for him to come and visit, you know, once you woke up.”
I didn’t think I’d need to take even a millisecond to consider my answer, but seeing him again might drudge up too many emotions for me right now. And as it stood, I had a lot to overcome.
“Not yet.”
“Quinn.” My sister said my name in disappointment. “I think you need to see him. You both need this.”
“Not yet,” I repeated. “But if you talk to him, please thank him for me.”
“You can thank him yourself when you see him.” Her tone was stern, and to argue with her would be useless, so I let it go.
Later that evening, the two police officers from earlier, Officer Cooper and Officer Griggs came to talk to me. I informed them I couldn’t remember a lot of what happened, but what I did, I provided in as much detail as I could. When I asked about Roy Grendon, they reported they had him in custody, and that Linda and the boys were fine, save for some bruises that would heal.
“You’re lucky to be alive, Miss Harris,” Officer Griggs said before turning and following his partner out of the room, leaving me to contemplate what I should do with my newfound luck.
42
Nolan
I’d made a mistake. I shouldn’t be here. I should’ve waited another day before showing up on her doorstep. But I said that yesterday, and the day before that.
“Are you coming in or are you going to stand out there all day?” I still couldn’t move. Seeing her again after all this time would surely reopen the wounds that had never really healed. But my desire to talk to her, to touch her in any way, was too strong for me to control. So, here I was, looking like a dope in front of her sister because I was too scared to budge from this spot.
“You’re sure she said it’s okay? She wants me here?”
“Yes. A thousand times yes,” she answered, drawing out the last word. “Sometime today, Nolan.” One step over the threshold, and my heart started to race. “She’s lying down in her room.” Avery walked away and disappeared around the corner, leaving me all alone to build up the courage to ascend the stairs and walk down the short hallway toward my destination. “Today, Bennett,” I heard her sister shout, startling me enough to put one foot in front of the other until I finally stood outside of Quinn’s bedroom.
I rapped gently. “Come in,” she said, the sound of her
voice drifting through the air, making me even more nervous than I was a second ago.
Pushing the door open, I prepared myself for what I was going to see. The last memory I had of her had been when she was lying on the floor, unresponsive. The side of her face was swollen and blood matted sections of her hair to her temple. She’d spent four days in the hospital and had been home for three. Surely, she had to be on the mend; otherwise, I doubted she, or Avery, would’ve let me come here today.
Our eyes connected and I felt like I could breathe for the first time in days. She sat up in bed, looking much better than I remembered. The bruising on her face wasn’t as severe, the lighter coloring indicative she was healing. Her hair was piled high on top of her head and she wore a pair of blue pajamas with white bows.
“Hi.” I moved further into the room. “You’re looking better.”
“I feel better. I have to be careful when I move, though, because my ribs still hurt.”
“And they will for a while yet.” If I could get my hands on Roy Grendon, I’d break every fucking bone in his body, and I wouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt over doing so.
“I brought you something. It’s not a gift, just something I owe you.” I pulled the laptop from the bag I carried and set it down on her dresser. “Sorry I broke yours that night.” She didn’t say anything at first, her eyes following me as I moved closer.
“Avery tells me you’re the one who found me.” Her mouth lifted in a half-smile. “Thank you.”
I lowered my eyes, everything I wanted to say to her rushing through my mind all at once and not making a bit of sense.
I needed more time.