by Ford Murphy
She’s treading unknown waters, he reminded himself. She had survived a heinous attack and was trying to find her way too. Still, they had to talk about this.
But not today. He would wait a week so as not to spoil what had been a truly great time.
Julia came out of the bathroom fully dressed. “Sorry, did I wake you?”
“Not at all.”
“Okay. Good. I’m going to go for a walk and how about we meet downstairs for breakfast afterwards? How long do you need? No rush.”
Finn looked at her, considered saying something then simply replied, “Half an hour okay?”
Julia nodded. “See you then.”
By the time they finished breakfast, the awkwardness Finn had noticed in the room earlier had completely dissipated.
Julia herself raised the issue. “Look, I know you think I’m giving you mixed signals but it’s not meant to be like that, I promise. I’m all messed up after what happened and scared shitless about being naked with a man or the prospect of having sex. But I really do like you, more than that actually. And last night, it just felt so good to be in your arms, I wanted to give you something in return. I’m sorry if I complicated anything or confused you or hurt you.”
Finn leaned across the table and kissed her forehead. “Say no more. This has been a very special time and last night made it even more so. I know how difficult it must have been for you and I love you all the more for it.”
She smiled across at him. “That’s just it. It wasn’t difficult at all. I thought it would be, but it wasn’t. It was my choice. My gift to give. It’s different. Does that make sense?”
He nodded.
“At times, I think I’m so lucky that you entered my life and that makes me terrified because I’ve always thought that I’m a truly unlucky person.”
Finn took her hand and stroked it gently. “Let’s hit the road.” His voice was tight with emotion.
Ten hours later, he dropped her off at her home in Lissadown.
She kissed him softly. “Thank you so much. I will never, ever forget this weekend.”
I won’t either, my beautiful girl. Finn watched her enter her house.
~ * ~
Julia went inside, left her bags in the hall and went straight to the kitchen where she opened a bottle of wine. She took a big gulp out of the glass and then another. Her head was spinning and she felt like she was no longer in control of her thoughts and her emotions. She knew she was falling in love, or to be more accurate, was already in love with Finn.
She had just spent several days without having to look over her shoulder or be worried that she could be attacked at any moment. It had been such a carefree feeling. Finn had been such great company. He made her laugh, he made her feel safe and on top of that he made her feel beautiful.
In her eyes, she was broken and ugly yet here was this gorgeous man who looked at her in a way that made her feel like she was Miss Universe. “I don’t get it,” she said out loud before taking another big gulp of wine. “He could have any woman he wanted yet here he is with a half-person who has very little to give him.”
She worried that he would get fed up with her. She was traumatized by the prospect of being naked with him or, worse still, having sex with him, as she feared the images of what those bastards did to her would play in her mind then.
On the other hand, if she gave herself freely to him, he would no doubt be completely turned off by the sight of her body with its ugly scars and burn marks. “Hobson’s fucking choice.” She laughed bitterly. “Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. As I always say, ‘Girl, you are one unlucky bitch.’”
She went to bed angry at herself for having completely destroyed the high that she had been on before she walked in the door.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Thursday, July 24, 1986
Week Five: Day Four
The week had passed by in a blur. Finn could scarcely believe it was Thursday evening already. He had restarted his daily workout routine as planned and his body felt good. Sore but good. His boss had tried his level best not to smirk when Finn handed in his report on the conference. Rumors were abounding around Roan that Finn and Julia were an item and that it was serious. His boss was clearly well aware of this and, it would seem, not a little chuffed about it.
The workplace atmosphere had improved dramatically for Julia, and for most other employees as well, and the whole tone of the place was vastly different since the big showdown a few weeks back. Lissadown was still a very dangerous place and nobody assumed that everything was roses. There were, however, growing signs that the police were gradually retaking control and that there was at least some hope for a better future.
Finn was looking forward to tomorrow night as he and Julia had made reservations for dinner at Le Chapeau restaurant, which was by far the best in Lissadown.
~ * ~
Although Julia was also looking forward to her date with Finn, she could feel a growing sense of anxiety with every passing day as she grew closer and closer to him. There was no doubt in her mind now that she had fallen in love with the extremely handsome Dr. Finn Lane. The problem was what to do with this love and where to let it take her.
To her own great surprise, she found herself wanting to be physically intimate with Finn. She had been certain for so long that this would never be the case for her again and now everything had been upended. That night in Italy had been a breakthrough. She had been in control. She had made the choice to give of herself, no matter how small that step was, and it hadn’t been traumatic. What had happened to her was the last thing on her mind at that moment. Her one desire had been to make him feel good, and doing so gave her pleasure.
Julia’s far bigger fear was having to expose her body to Finn. Doing that would be taking a huge risk and she wasn’t sure if she was ready for that. Have him in my life at arms’ length, or show him what I truly am and watch him run the other way? Now there’s a choice any girl would love to make, right?
Tomorrow night was shaping up to be the biggest night of their relationship and it could all be over by Saturday morning. “Julia dearest,” she said out loud, “You’ve got to roll the dice sometime.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
December, 1983
Lexington, Kentucky
Whitney arrived at his door promptly at ten on the morning of the concert. Lexington was a six hour drive from Edgarville. The plan was to check in at the motel where they had reserved two rooms, drop off their bags and car then take a cab to the stadium where the concert was to be held. Finn was still not without misgivings about the trip and his heart sank when he saw what Whitney was wearing.
The conservative, demure look she had been fostering for the past several weeks was gone and she had fully reverted to her previous sexy Whitney style. Her barely there micro-miniskirt and tight tee-shirt, under which there wasn’t a bra, seemed to Finn like a statement of intent. His fears were further compounded when she bent over to pick up his backpack and her skirt rode up, revealing a tiny, white lace thong that barely covered anything.
Somehow sensing where his attention might be, she stayed in that position a few seconds longer than necessary before asking, “Enjoying the view?”
Finn coughed and adopted a warning tone. “Whitney, cut that out.”
“Cut what out? I’m not the one looking up someone’s skirt.” She straightened up and turned to face him, a big grin plastered on her face. “So, did you pack your chastity belt?”
“I most certainly did, and double locks.”
“That’s good. You’ll need it. The women at Springsteen concerts can get very raunchy.”
This interchange relaxed the tension that had been building. She punched him in the arm. “Come on you gobshite, let’s go.”
Finn had taught her a few Irish words and Irish sayings. She was particularly enamored with “gobshite” and the fact that saying “I will, yeah,” in response to a request to do something actually meant, “No, I wo
n’t.”
“What a great way to look at life.” She had laughed when she learned that one. “Saying ‘yes’ but meaning ‘no’. Hard to beat that.”
Finn had looked at her and with great solemnity intoned, “Medieval Irish people moved in the direct antithesis of yes and no.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“Beats the shit out of me but my high school math teacher said it all the time.”
“You people are nuts. Certifiably nuts.”
Now, they hopped in Whitney’s car and hit the road. They had planned to share driving responsibilities even though Whitney was a tad dubious about this since Finn’s experience of driving on “the wrong side of the road” was very limited.
The trip to Lexington was good fun or “good craic” as Whitney pronounced in her best Irish accent. For all her faults, Finn had to admit that Whitney really was great company and he genuinely enjoyed being with her.
The motel that she had booked was a dive but it was conveniently close to the stadium and they had rooms available.
“Well it sure as shit isn’t The Plaza,” Whitney declared as they sat in the parking lot staring at the dingy, rundown buildings that looked like they hadn’t been painted in fifty years. “I’m not sure I want to see the inside. You go take a look.”
Finn walked to reception, paid upfront for the rooms and slowly opened the door to one with the key he had been given. The room was small and sparsely furnished but it seemed clean and was free of any offensive odors. He turned and gave a thumbs up to the anxiously waiting Whitney.
“If you’re messing with me, you’ll be sorry,” she said crossly as she tentatively peered into the room. “Well, okay then, I guess it won’t kill us. I’m not getting under those bed covers though and I suggest you don’t either.”
Finn laughed. He was quite relieved himself but he was nowhere near as squeamish as she apparently was.
The concert was absolutely incredible. Springsteen and the E Street Band put on a show that lasted three and a half hours and was full of energy and passion. Even though they played for such a long time, no one in the audience wanted the concert to end. Whitney had snagged great tickets and they were down on the field right in front of the stage. It was totally mobbed there but the crowd was good-humored and the sweet smell of pot hung low in the air.
There were so many brilliant moments that Finn lost count, but the absolute highlight of the night for him was when Bruce sang a slowed down version of Thunder Road accompanied only by a piano and mouth organ. It was magical and the audience was so totally transfixed that there wasn’t a sound anywhere. During the song, Whitney took his arm, draped it across her chest and pressed herself to him. For once, Finn didn’t object, believing that she was just as much caught up in the moment as everyone else. When the song ended, she looked up at him, her eyes shining with tears, and said, “Now that’s a moment that I’ll remember for the rest of my life.”
“Me too.” He gave her a big hug.
After the concert, they went for a night cap in a dingy bar across the street from the motel where they relived the whole experience.
“I’m so glad I got to share this with you,” Finn said to her. “And I’m equally glad Morgan was so cool about it.”
“Why wouldn’t he be?” Whitney replied with an edge in her voice. “He trusts you.”
There was an obvious implication in that statement but Finn had had such a good night that he didn’t want to open any can of worms by pursuing it. Instead, he merely replied, “Honestly, I can’t thank you enough. I’ll always remember this day and you every time I hear a Springsteen song.”
Whitney smiled brightly. “And every time you wear one of the five Springsteen tee-shirts you bought too, right?”
“Absolutely. Would you like another drink?”
“No thanks. I’m done for the night.”
They walked across the road to the motel. Finn had worried about this moment for the past week.
When they reached the doors of their adjoining rooms, Whitney kissed him softly and briefly on the lips. “Good night Finn. Sleep well. See you in the morning.”
Finn stood and watched her enter her room. Before she closed the door, she poked her head out. “Make sure you lock your door. You never know what type of wanton, craven women are roaming the neighborhood.” The door closed behind her and he heard her locking it from the inside.
Happily surprised, Finn went to his room and lay on the bed. There was a part of him that cautioned that he wasn’t entirely out of the woods yet but he felt like they had passed a big test with flying colors.
The next thing he knew, he was waking to someone banging on his door. Startled, he opened it quickly.
Whitney stood there, smiling brightly. “Rise and shine, sleepyhead. I’ve got coffee, juice and bagels.”
Finn looked around groggily. It was morning. “What time is it?”
“It’s after ten. Why don’t you take a shower and meet me over at those picnic tables. You look like you could do with one.”
After breakfast, they started on the return journey to Edgarville. Finn took first shift driving. He was now convinced that he and Whitney could be friends without any sexual tension between them and he was very glad as she had become an important person to him.
He was so convinced of this that when, after an hour or so, Whitney put her feet up on the dashboard and her skirt rode up, revealing her underwear, he didn’t react. This time she was wearing a black thong that looked so flimsy it seemed like it could fall apart to the touch. Whitney left her skirt there for a moment, so Finn looked at her, then looked between her legs and back at her before stating, with a grin on his face, “It had to have been a man who invented thongs. Whoever he was, he was pure genius and the entire male population on earth owe him a huge debt of gratitude.”
Whitney fixed her skirt before replying, “Why dear me, Finn Lane, if I didn’t know better I’d think there was a compliment buried deep in that comment.”
Finn looked over at her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so obtuse and force you to have to search so hard for the compliment. That was a great view and that’s a compliment.”
He felt really good now. He knew for sure that this was just Whitney’s playful nature and, even if it was a little edgy, she wasn’t hitting on him.
He tried to explain this to a highly skeptical Paul that night after they got back to Edgarville. Paul had been eager to hear how the concert had been and even more eager to hear the gossip and scandal he was convinced Finn would have to share.
“I swear, dude. Nothing happened. Nothing at all.”
Paul was initially convinced that Finn was keeping the truth from him but he also knew Finn well enough to know that he wouldn’t lie to him.
“So you two are best buds now?
“Buds?”
“Buddies. Pals. Friends.
Finn chuckled. “You could say that.”
“Who’da thunk it possible?”
“Yep. Me and the Snow Queen. Best buds.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Friday, July 25, 1986
Week Five: Day Five
Margo Kirk sat in the car park of Roan Pharmaceuticals. It was almost four-forty and she had positioned herself where she could not be seen very easily but where she had a good view of the main door. She knew from her reconnaissance that Finn would leave no later than ten past five. She was determined to confront him so she had driven here with a plan to follow him home. Margo was convinced something major was up. She had become very suspicious when her brother, David, had arrived home one day with Finn’s car and some cockeyed story about how they had swapped for a few weeks so that Finn could see how David’s handled because he was interested in buying one. “Such total bullshit,” she had shouted at David but he refused to give her any more information or even tell her where Finn lived in Lissadown.
Well I’m here now and I’ll find it out for myself.
She sat up strai
ght when she saw Finn leave the building with a dark-haired girl by his side. They stopped to chat at the edge of the pavement and even from that distance Margo could see their body language. “What the fuck? Who is she?”
She had to admit that the girl was very pretty and had a gorgeous figure. She was also very familiar. Margo watched as their hands touched briefly when they said goodbye. At that moment, she knew who the girl was and her plans changed. Instead of following Finn she would tail the girl home. “Mother was right. We do know someone working there. Now, how about that?”
Margo waited for a few minutes after Julia had gotten home then walked from her car to the front door and rang the bell. When Julia opened the door, Margo stuck out her hand and smiled brightly. “Hi Julia. I’m Margo. I was a friend of your brother’s.”
Julia looked at her in shock for a moment before saying, “Oh, please come in.”
Margo smiled as she stepped through the door. Bingo. I was right.
They went into the living room. “Can I get you something to drink?” Julia asked.
“Alcohol. The stronger the better for both of us. I have a story for you that will come as a big shock.”
~ * ~
At a little past seven, Finn parked his car on Julia’s street and started to walk towards her house. He was really looking forward to dinner. He had heard great reviews about this restaurant and the prospect of a long, leisurely dinner with Julia was just the ticket for a Friday night. They had both been very busy all week and hadn’t spent much time together but he could tell that she was as much in love with him as he was with her.
Then he saw something that startled him out of his reverie. But it couldn’t be Margo Kirk’s car. She had no reason to be here. When he got closer and saw the Cork registration along with the collection of stuffed animals Margo kept in the rear window, he knew it was hers.
What the hell? Then it dawned on him. He bent over as if he had been sucker-punched. Oh, Jesus no, he prayed. No, no, no. He never imagined she’d do this and yet here she was. Margo could wreak unbridled havoc. He could handle Margo, but the damage she could cause Julia terrified him. He nearly ran to Julia’s door almost in a daze and was not in the least surprised when it was Margo who opened it after he had rang the bell.