by Ford Murphy
“Finn, how are you? Come right in. We’ve been expecting you.”
Finn pushed past her and strode to the living room. There he found Julia, curled up in a ball, sobbing uncontrollably.
“Is it true?” The anguish in her voice tore at his heart. “Please Finn. I have to know. Is it true? You were a friend of my brother’s and he asked you to help him because he was afraid for his life but you wouldn’t. You went off on holiday when you knew his life was in danger and when you came back, he was dead. Is that true?” Her voice rose and she got up from the couch.
“Tell me you bastard! Was that the plan? Rescue the sister because you felt guilty for not helping the brother?” She trembled with rage. “Or did you just want to fuck me over too like everyone else? At least they didn’t pretend to like or make me feel like I was actually someone they cared about. What you’ve done to me is far worse than anything those bastards who raped me did. Eventually, I’ll get over how they hurt me. But this…I don’t know how I can ever recover from this.”
By now she was uncontrollable, her eyes were wild with anger and her face smeared with a mixture of tears and sweat.
Finn stood there rooted to the spot. He didn’t know what to say, what words would make a difference to her now.
Even Margo seemed shocked into numbness. She had started this but it appeared as if she was starting to feel pangs of guilt, such was the pain Julia was suffering.
“It wasn’t like that. What she told you isn’t true.”
“Were you a friend of my brother’s?” Julia almost spat at him.
“Yes,” Finn said quietly.
“Did he ask you for help?”
Finn just nodded again, his heart aching.
“And you didn’t help him?” she screamed.
“Please, listen Julia, it wasn’t like that. It’s not that simple.”
“Yes or fucking no. that’s all I want you to say right now. Yes or no.”
“No. I didn’t.” Finn shook his head. “I didn’t.”
~ * ~
Julia sat back suddenly as if the enormity of his words had knocked her over. She had heard them from Margo but hearing it directly from Finn was a mortal blow. Just two hours ago, she was in love with him and had been thinking about a future for the two of them together. Now, after all she had suffered in the past, she had just been dealt the worst blow she could ever have imagined. The man she loved was a coward, a liar and a dirty rotten cheat.
She couldn’t take it anymore. She was completely enraged. “Get the fuck out of my house, and get the fuck out of my life. Don’t look at me, don’t talk to me. Nothing. Ever again. Do you understand me?”
“Julia—”
“And take that fucking whore with you. She told about the great sex you’ve had with her so why don’t you go fuck her tonight—or better yet, go fuck yourself.” She stopped. “But answer me honestly. For once just tell me the truth. Was all this planned? Did you come to Lissadown because of me? Hadn’t you caused our family enough pain that you needed to ruin my life also? What kind of a person are you?”
“Julia,” Finn pleaded, “please listen to me. I would never do anything to hurt you. I admit I made some mistakes but I never set out to fall in love with you. That just happened all by itself. I’ve loved you since you were ten when I saved you from those teenagers.”
Both Julia and Margo looked at Finn in amazement.
Julia got there first. “That was you?”
“That was her?” Echoed Margo. “Well that explains a lot.”
Julia was completely taken aback by this latest revelation. She looked at Finn then at Margo then back at Finn, almost uncomprehendingly. “I just don’t fucking believe this. Can this night get any worse?”
She had to regain control. She rallied herself, walked to the door and in an eerily calm voice said, “Out now. Both of you.”
“Julia—”
“Just get the fuck out and leave me alone.”
She slammed the door behind them.
~ * ~
He should have told her. He should have told her on his first day at Roan. It would have ruined any chance he had at earning her heart, but it wouldn’t have destroyed her as this had. The truth was, he should have let Brian tell her years ago. He should have risked it then and perhaps none of this would have happened.
Once outside, Finn turned to Margo and growled, “You dirty fucking cunt. How could you? You know that’s not what happened.”
“I don’t know, Finn. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking straight. I was jealous and I was hurt. I’m sorry.”
“You haven’t the first fucking clue about the damage you’ve done.”
“I think I do. I’m sorry.”
“It doesn’t matter now, does it? Go home, Margo. There’s been too much said tonight that will be regretted in the future. Let’s not add to it.”
He walked to his car, leaving her standing there. He drove home in a daze and once there, he opened a bottle of whiskey and drank until he passed out.
~ * ~
Julia sank to the floor and sobbed. What she had just experienced was possibly even worse than what had happened to her the night she had been attacked. Her whole world was shattered. From the moment Margo had stood in her doorway to when she had kicked her and Finn out, Julia felt as if she had moved outside of her body and was watching the scene unfold in her living room from a distance. The whole thing was surreal. The man who she had fallen in love with and who had given her a reason to want to live again when she had thought there never again would be one, had turned out be a phony. He had been a friend of her brother’s but had not helped him when he could have. Seeming he had only came to Lissadown to be with her out of guilt. How could anyone be so cruel, especially to a person who had lost what she had and suffered so much? It was inhumane.
This was the last straw. It was over. She was going to leave Lissadown. Tomorrow she would hand in her notice and in two weeks she would be out of here for good. She was sorry now that she hadn’t resigned weeks ago as she had originally planned. She could have saved herself all this pain and heartache.
“Fuck you, Finn Lane,” she cried out in anguish. “I was doing all right. I was getting by. Now, I’ll never get by again.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
January, 1985
Eighteen Months Earlier
Shannon Airport
Finn and David sat in the bar at Shannon Airport. They were waiting to catch a flight to New York from where they had a connection to Miami. After a four hour layover in Miami, it was then on to Rio. Finn had been selected to compete as the European heavyweight representative in the World Open MMA Championship.
“Going to be a long frigging day,” he complained to David.
“I’d love to tell you to have a few scoops to help you sleep, son, but I can’t recommend it under the circumstances.” David responded gleefully as he laced in to his third pint of Guinness in thirty minutes.
“You’re a great help. I’m going to call home and check in with the folks.”
“You do that. ‘I’ll be right here but don’t be too long, we’re boarding shortly. Say ‘hi’ to them for me.”
Finn walked through the terminal searching for an open phone booth. Most of them were occupied by people doing exactly what he intended to do: make a last minute call to some loved one before heading to the US. He knew that most of the people on the plane were heading out there to find work and planned to stay illegally. It was sad. For many of them this would be the last time on Irish soil for a very long time, if not forever.
He dialed his parents’ number and chatted with both of them for about fifteen minutes, listening to his mother’s admonishments to be careful. He was about to hang up when she said, “Oh that reminds me, Brian Davis called. He wants to speak to you. It sounded important.”
She gave him the number and he hung up, promising to call them as soon as he landed in Rio. He tried Brian’s number but there was n
o answer. Someone knocked on the door behind him. David was standing there pointing to his watch mouthing that they had to board now.
He would try again in New York. He walked to the plane with David who by now was extremely happy with life. Finn knew exactly what the drill would be on the plane. David would flirt with the air hostesses and try to get as much alcohol off them as possible. The best Finn could hope for was to get some sleep, or if not that the movie would be good.
He tried to reach David in New York and again In Miami without success. That was extremely unusual. It was after two in the morning in Ireland and he still wasn’t answering his phone. Finn resolved to try once more from Rio.
Finn had met Brian quite by accident. He had been competing in a tournament in Dublin almost eight years ago when they were introduced. Brian had turned up to support his English cousin who had come over to participate. Once they started to talk, and realized they both were from Cork, and they hit it off. It didn’t take long for them to figure out the other connection between them. Brian’s sister was the little girl Finn had helped years ago.
Finn had asked Brian not to mention the fact that they knew each other to Julia immediately. Brian, for his part, thought this was a strange request since Julia would be delighted to meet Finn. Finn couldn’t explain why he didn’t want Julia to know right away. He wasn’t fully sure he knew why. He knew she had boyfriends. Maybe he didn’t want to interfere.
Or maybe he was a coward. It was safer to keep his distance than risk rejection.
Someday Brian could tell her—just not yet.
Since there didn’t seem to be any harm in it, Brian was happy to comply. Over the years, as their friendship grew stronger, Brian teased Finn about it from time to time about when “someday” would come, but he never broke his word. So Julia had been to her brother, she ended up being oblivious to the fact that one of her brother’s best friends was the guy who had saved her years earlier and who remained a hero to her.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, they arrived in sunny Rio.
“I cannot wait to go the beach and see all those gorgeous babes in their micro bikinis,” David exclaimed with glee not five minutes after the plane touched down. He had lined up a date for himself that night with a very attractive air hostess who he charmed incessantly throughout the flight, but clearly this was not enough for him.
“You are such bum. Do you ever think of anything else?”
“What else is there to think of, my good friend? Oh, I guess you might have to focus on this tournament thing. Sorry, but for the rest of us, it’s the Copacabana all the way.”
Finn groaned but his mind was elsewhere. He had convinced himself throughout the flight that Brian was in serious trouble and he was really worried by the fact that he had been unable to get hold of him. Truth be told, he was also concerned that he was now so far away that he was in no position to help out if there really was a problem.
He remembered how amused Brian had been when he had informed Finn that Julia had broken up with her most recent boyfriend and both he and Julia were going to be working in Lissadown. “We’re going to be sharing a house. “No way you’re getting out of visiting. I’m not skulking around and having clandestine meetings with you behind Julia’s back either. You, my friend, will just have to bite the bullet and let her in on the secret. She’s going to be majorly pissed off that we kept it from her until now so delaying it any longer will only make things worse when she eventually finds out. And she will find out.”
Finn knew he was right. The long awaited “someday” had come. He would have to take the leap risk his heart once and for all. So he'd promised that he would come up for a weekend to stay once he got back Rio. He had used the fact that he was training every weekend as an excuse to postpone the trip but that excuse would be gone soon.
Once they had disembarked, Finn told David that he was going to make a quick call. He located a phone booth and after two trips to a nearby shop to get the right amount of change and the effort it took to work out all various codes, he finally heard the phone ring. To his great surprise, Brian answered.
“I’ve been trying to call since yesterday. Is everything okay?”
Brian ignored the question. “Where are you? The line’s terrible.”
“Sorry. I’m in Rio for the World Open MMA championship. But I’m worried about you. What’s up?”
Brian remained quiet for a moment before saying, “Yeah. Everything’s fine.”
“You’re not selling that very well. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Honestly, it’s all good. Focus on the tournament and look me up when you get back. Remember, you promised to come visit.” Finn was about to answer when Brian added, “Hey, if something happens to me, promise me you’ll look after Julia.”
Finn rolled his eyes. As if Brian had to ask that. Finn would look after Julia even if he’d never met Brian. He’d made that vow to himself years ago. But before he could assure Brian that he would, the phone went dead and Finn was left standing there in shock. He knew, despite Brian’s protestations, that something was definitely very wrong. He was out of coins and by the time he went back to the shop to get more and dialed the number again, the phone rang out with no response. He could see David hopping around impatiently outside the booth, waiting for him. He put the phone down with a heavy sense of foreboding and went out to join him.
Finn had never said much, if anything, to David about Brian. It just never came up. He had mentioned some time back to Mrs. Kirk during one of his visits to their house about the connection he had made with Brian and how he and Julia were going to be in Lissadown together. There was no point in going into it with David now, and there was nothing he could do for Brian.
~ * ~
Finn progressed through the first three rounds of the tournament without too much difficulty. His fourth fight, in the round of eight, was a different matter. He was pitted against a particularly nasty South African who was well known and disliked for his dirty tactics. Finn’s fight with him was a brutal affair and, although he ultimately won a unanimous points victory, the South African had taken him the whole distance and meted out severe punishment along the way.
Finn walked slowly back to the hotel with David after the fight. “I’m not in good shape, man. I’ve been hit before but this was like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I need a long bath and a lot of sleep, so no partying for me.”
David knew when to be serious and they were at the business stage of the tournament now. “Sounds like a plan, brother. I’ll sort out food and I’ll make sure you have plenty of bottled water to drink. You’ve got to stay hydrated.”
The next fight was in two days and Finn would need every minute of them to recover. He was still worried about Brian and he had tried again on several occasions to call him, to no avail.
Two days later, when the fight started, Finn was only at eighty percent recovery. He still felt tired and sluggish and there were nagging pains in his lower back and shoulder. He knew this was going to be a tough night, particularly since he was up against an undefeated American named Willie Stone. This guy was a virtual legend in the mixed martial arts world, both for his technique and his toughness. He was renowned for fighting guys from different sports—boxers, wrestlers, judo experts—with great success. He was also the odds-on favorite to win the world title. Finn desperately wished he was in better shape for this fight and he knew if the fight progressed deep into the bout, he was truly screwed. Unlike Litkov, the Russian that Finn had defeated for the European title, Willie Stone was a tremendous natural athlete with great stamina who seemed to get better the longer a fight went on.
The fight started slowly enough with both fighters cagy and showing great respect for the other’s ability. When they did engage early on, those encounters were sharp and brutal with each of them absorbing big hits. Almost at the end of the first round, when they were grappling on the floor, Finn felt something go in his shoulder. It had been bothering him since
the previous fight but now he was in serious trouble. His opponent didn’t seem to notice, which Finn knew was a good thing since otherwise he would just target that shoulder for the remainder of the fight. When he sat in his corner at the end of the round, he said to David, “I’m screwed. My shoulder is fucked up. No way I can get through this.”
David just nodded. “What do you want to do? Will we call it quits and stop it now? No one will think badly of you once they know you’re injured.”
Finn shook his head. “No, I’m going out for the second round. If it gets to a third one, we’ll bail. Let’s see if I can finish him early in this round.”
They both left unsaid that even if Finn won, he wouldn’t be able to compete in the final.
“Are you sure? You could do some real damage to yourself.”
The bell for the second round sounded. “Just keep an eye out. If it looks really bad out there, tap me out.”
“Will do. Good luck. I’m proud of you. We’re all proud of you.”
For the first minute of the second round, Finn struggled to stay focused. His shoulder was killing him and since he could not use his left arm at all, he was fighting and defending himself with just one hand. This was not a good situation to be in against Willie Stone. Feeling like it was now or never, Finn attacked aggressively and threw his trademark kidney kick twice in rapid succession while delivering a series of blows with his right hand to Stone’s face. Sensing there was an opening, he swept Stone onto the mat and quickly sat on him pounding him with his elbow for all his might. Stone tried desperately to unseat him but Finn, mustering up every bit of his strength in his legs, held on tightly.
The blows rained down on Stone’s face until it became a bloodied mess. Once the referee saw that there was no way out for Willie Stone, he stopped the fight and declared Finn the victor. Finn was in such a bad way, he could scarcely understand what was happening and he had to lean on David for support during the victory announcement. He knew for certain that his tournament was over. There would be no final, no crack at becoming world champion.