Shades Of Chocolate (The Bakery Romance Series Book 2)

by Cecelia Dowdy

  He unwrapped his silverware. “I called ahead and ordered for us. They’ll be serving our salads and drinks in a few minutes.”

  Again, he admired her dress. “You look pretty tonight.”

  She smiled. “Thanks.”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear that dress.”

  She stroked the material. “I just bought it today. I went shopping. Mrs. Dukes visited me today on behalf of Blue Spring Community Church. The church gave me a one-thousand-dollar gift card for that large department store outside of town.” She paused, her smile fading.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “It’s just that, I was surprised they gave me the gift card when I’m not even a member of that church. I’d think they would’ve given something like that to a member. I know most of the congregation knows me since I own the bakery, and I’ve been attending church lately, but still…”

  “Toni, you’ve lost a lot of your possessions. A lot of the church members care about what happens to you. When a church helps others, we don’t exclude those who aren’t members of our congregation.”

  She cupped her chin in her hand, gave him a piercing stare. “Honestly, it was hard for me to accept the gift card.”

  “Why?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. It just felt weird accepting it, knowing I haven’t openly become a member of their congregation.”

  “The members want to help you. It would’ve hurt their feelings if you didn’t accept their gift.”

  At last week’s mid-week service, the pastor had asked for a love offering for Toni. Again, Jason had been touched when he witnessed the caring community of Blue Spring. “The people in that congregation wanted to do this for you. Just be happy and accept it.”

  Their waitress returned with a full tray. She presented them with two glasses of ice water, fresh lemon slices floating on the surface. She then presented both of them with glasses of Coke and two salads.

  Jason took her hands, bowed his head. “Lord, thank you for answering my prayers. Toni is safe now, Lord. And that makes me happy. Thank you so much for this food, Amen.” He released her hand, dug into his salad.

  “Go ahead and eat.” Jason gestured toward her food.

  “I’m too nervous to eat.”

  “Why?”

  She shook her head, pressed her lips together.

  “Did you want me to order you a ginger ale?” he offered.

  “That’s okay. The Coke is fine.”

  Later, the waitress served their pepperoni and mushroom pizza. Jason only ate one slice. Toni could barely manage a few bites. He put his empty plate aside, took her hands, squeezed them. “Your hands are freezing.”

  “The air conditioning is kind of high in here.”

  “Did you want me to ask them to adjust it?”

  She shook her head. “I could care less about my cold hands. Jason, you came here to talk. Let’s talk.”

  He glanced at the food again, realizing she barely ate. “Is your stomach bothering you?”

  She sighed. “Yes. But I won’t feel better until you tell me why you’ve been upset.”

  He frowned. “Upset?”

  She nodded. “Jason, you’ve been upset since the night that you brought the burger and fries into my hospital room. What happened that night?”

  He wasn’t ready to talk about that yet. “I’ll talk about that later on tonight.” He paused, took a deep breath. “While you were away with your mom, after your father died, I accidentally found an envelope of information about me and my family in your office.”

  Toni winced, pulled her hand away. “Were you mad that I didn’t tell you about that envelope? I’m sorry.”

  He shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. I just want to know what happened. I saw you had information about my ex-girlfriend, Tangie.”

  “Ex-girlfriend? Don’t you mean your ex-fiancée?”

  “I was never engaged to Tangie.”

  “That makes no sense. There was an engagement announcement in the newspaper.”

  “It wasn’t a valid announcement. Tangie had been hinting that she’d wanted to get engaged for a while. I guess she figured I’d eventually propose.”

  “Why was there an announcement placed in the paper?”

  “Tangie placed that announcement in the newspaper. It was published in her small hometown. The paper has a limited distribution. I didn’t even find out about it until shortly after my mom died.” He didn’t feel like telling her all that he’d gone through with Tangie. “Talking about Tangie is kind of a sore spot with me. It’s like you being hesitant about talking about Brian. Tangie is an experience that I want to forget. We can talk more about her later if you want, but I’d wanted to ask you about something else.”

  Toni nodded. “Okay, go ahead.”

  “I’d also seen some handwriting, indicating that I was out to steal your recipes. Toni, you know me. The last thing I’d ever want to do is steal from you.”

  She shook her head, her pretty eyes shrouded with sadness. She sipped her water. “I didn’t dig up that information. Brian did. The handwriting you saw was his. Brian may be a creep, but I’m glad he showed me that information.”

  “What?”

  “Jason, do you realize just how little you’ve told me about yourself since you’ve been here? The few times I’ve asked about your family, you’ve cut me off, shut yourself down, refusing to speak about them. I’d wondered about your background, where you came from.” She took a deep breath, took another sip from her glass. “Why didn’t you tell me that baking was your profession? Why didn’t you ever tell me about your chain of bakeries in Chicago? Why didn’t you tell me about your wealth?”

  Whoa, he was not expecting her to say this. He’d simply thought that she’d been curious about his background, so she’d Googled him. Her lips were mashed down in anger. Her reaction was justified. He took a deep breath, leaned back into his chair. How could he explain this so that she’d understand? She grew up poor. Could she understand just how crippling it could be to grow up with wealth, always having to please your mom?

  His mind crowded with so many thoughts, so much going on inside of him. He took a deep breath. Lord, I need your help here. Please give me the right words.

  Start from the beginning, tell her everything.

  The sudden thought entered his mind clear and strong. “My mom and dad own a chain of bakeries in Chicago called Matthews Baked Goods. My dad handles the marketing. My sister, Trina, handles accounting. My mom started teaching me how to bake when I was ten.”

  Taking his time, he told her how his mother was a perfectionist, and he’d always felt that he was living in her shadow. “She ran the bakery, and nobody could give any suggestions about recipes and changes. I tried, but she shot down everything I suggested. She said the business was fine, so why should we change anything.” He took a deep breath. “After a while, I felt that I wanted to own my own bakery. Prove that I could make it on my own without having my mother hovering around me supervising all of my efforts.”

  “I always felt that people saw me as Jason Matthews. They accepted me for my expertise simply because of my family background. I wanted to be Jason, someone who was good at baking and who could concoct delicious recipes without my mother’s influence.”

  He took another deep breath, finished his soda. “I was about to tell my mom that I wanted to open my own bakery, with or without her help – but I never got a chance to do that because she became ill.” He paused, bit his lip, the memories consuming him. “I loved my mom, but her overbearing, perfectionist nature just drained me. Lord help me, but I had negative feelings towards her, too.”

  Toni rested her elbows on the table, giving him her undivided attention. He stretched his legs in front of him. “I told you a little bit about my problems with my dad. My mom required that I work with him in the corporate offices for a few months. She wanted us to learn to get along.”

  “But you’re not working in the office now.”
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  “I know. My dad wants to expand our chain of bakeries. He sent me on a road trip to visit potential bakeries.”

  “Are you saying that you’d wanted to acquire my bakery?”

  “Honey, no, I’m not saying that at all.” He explained how he’d seen her bakery advertised and stopped in. He also told her how his father had granted him a three-month vacation. “I just didn’t want my background to color your opinion about me. That’s why I didn’t tell you anything. Tangie was a gold-digger. She had me fooled. She also pretended to accept my religion, but I found it was all just an act.” Just talking about Tangie left a sour taste in his mouth.

  Toni took his hand, squeezed his fingers. “Jason, I am so sorry. I didn’t realize.”

  He nodded. “Thanks. I’m speaking to my dad, but things aren’t the way they should be between us. I wish my dad and I had a normal relationship.” He then told her about his father’s engagement. “When I was in Chicago, he reminded about my vacation time.”

  “Your vacation is over now?”

  He slowly nodded. He told her about Trina’s phone call, his strong relationship with Antoine. “Toni, I feel so bad. I’ve abandoned my family, and they need me.”

  But Toni had been through the roughest time, and she’d need his support, too. “I have to go back home just for a little while until I decide what I want to do.”

  “Do about what?”

  He sighed. “About us.” He squeezed her hand. “Toni, I love you.”

  “Jason,” she breathed.

  “Don’t interrupt me. I love you so much that it hurts.”

  She blinked, tears springing to her caramel-colored eyes. “Why is loving me hurtful?”

  “My life is such a mess, but since I accepted Christ, I’ve always tried my best to lean on Him. I’ve loved how you’ve started questioning God, trying to see if what your mom believes is true.” He licked his lips, continued to clutch her hand. “But I wasn’t sure how you felt about accepting Jesus. It hurts me to see all that you’ve gone through. I heard you call out to the Lord during your father’s funeral. I’ve seen you at church, searching for answers to your questions about God.”

  “Oh, Jason, fully accepting Jesus is so hard to do. So many bad things happen in this world.”

  “But so many good things happen, too. I selfishly took a three-month hiatus from the family business, and then I met you. Honey, I’m so sad that my mom died. I still think about her every day, but her death brought me to you.”

  She took a deep breath, squeezed his hand. “After you came, that’s when Brian started doing the prank calls.”

  “And your cousin Eva returned to your life and started giving you grief.”

  “But you were there for me, helping me.”

  He slowly nodded. “I really believe the Lord wanted me here with you to help you get through this. Now I think I really need to return to Chicago to help my sister and Antoine. My sister has been patient with me, and it’s just kind of an unspoken rule in my family that I’m the father-figure for Antoine. The kid admires me, and I really like having an impact on his life. I want to be there for him.” He paused. “He’s also talking about working in the bakery. I think having an afterschool job might help him. I was his age when I baked my first cake.”

  “But what about us?” she asked in a small voice.

  “Honey, that’s up to you.” He took a deep breath. “Tangie told me she shared my faith, but later I found out she was lying about it. She only attended church, went through the motions, to please me. She admitted that she didn’t consider herself a true Christian. Toni, I don’t want to go through that again. I’m not implying that you’re like Tangie. I’m just saying that if I’m with someone, I want to be sure that they at least share my faith.”

  He stared at their joined hands. What was she thinking?

  Chapter 37

  Toni closed her eyes, recalled her abusive, alcoholic dad, her mother’s deep faith. They’d been a house divided, and it was an experience she’d never forget. She didn’t blame Jason for wanting a mate who shared his beliefs.

  “Toni, what are you thinking about?”

  She swallowed, finding comfort in Jason’s strong, warm, capable hands. “I’m thinking about my parents.”

  He nodded. He knew about her struggles.

  “Jason, I want to control my life, not God.”

  “But God is already trying to control your life now, Honey. You’ve been going to church, calling his name when you’re in distress. This will eat at you until you decide to let go and just accept Him.”

  The waitress approached, bearing two slices of cheesecake drizzled with strawberry sauce. Toni’s stomach churned. She shook her head. “No dessert for me, thanks.”

  Jason released her hand. “Would you box up the dessert and leftovers for us to take home?”

  The waitress expertly placed the leftover pizza into a box, placed the cheesecake into two plastic containers. After Jason paid the bill, they left the restaurant.

  They drove back to Sheila’s, and Toni’s mind reeled with questions, so many questions. He finally pulled up into Sheila’s driveway, cut the ignition. She didn’t want him to leave. “Did you want to come in for a cup of coffee?”

  He shook his head, his eyes tender. “I’m leaving at six in the morning. I have some stuff I need to do tonight before I head out tomorrow.”

  Would they see each other again? Dare she ask him that question?

  He got out of the car, opened the door for her. He pulled her into his arms, kissed her forehead. The smell of his cologne, his strong arms, his deep faith, she’d miss it all. Tears sprang to her eyes, but she blinked them away. He released her, retrieved the leftovers, pressed the bag into her hand.

  Speechless, she wasn’t sure what she should do. She was about to ask if she could call him sometime, but he beat her to it, removing his phone from his pocket. “I’m sending you an email with my work and home address and my work and home numbers. Toni, if you need anything, I want you to call me. I’ll be back to visit you soon.”

  He would? How soon was soon?

  “I think you need some time to yourself to figure everything out.”

  Everything? He must mean everything about God. He kissed her forehead again before returning to his vehicle. He honked before driving away. Toni didn’t even have the energy to wave good-bye.

  *

  Sheila shook her head as she ate a slice of the cheesecake from Toni’s leftover dinner. “Toni, someone needs to knock some sense into that head of yours. Jason told you that he loved you, and you didn’t even tell him that you loved him? What is your problem?”

  Toni dropped onto the couch, curling her legs beneath her, Indian style. She was all ready for bed and had had a good cry after Jason made his exit. Sheila had worked late, and when she came home, she’d found Toni in a bawling mess in the guest bedroom.

  Sheila’s cat ambled into the room, jumped onto Toni’s lap, made herself comfortable. She stroked the animal, listening to the quiet hum of her purr. “He says I need some time to myself to figure everything out.”

  “Hmm.” Sheila went into the kitchen, placed her dirty plate and fork into the sink. “Well, he’s right about that. Toni, you just need to let go and let God!”

  Over the next couple of months, Sheila’s words echoed in Toni’s brain, sometimes waking her in her sleep: Let Go and Let God. She continued reading her Bible. Not only did she make her Bible reading a priority, but she also concentrated on her bakery. She worked with her insurance company regarding her settlement.

  So much was going on in her life that she wanted some peace. Once she had her bakery up and running, then maybe she’d feel calmer. She’d even started baking in Sheila’s small kitchen every day. Toni donated the breads and pastries to the local homeless shelter. They’d been grateful for the treats, and doing something for the less fortunate made Toni feel good.

  Martha had even ventured over to Sheila’s to visit Toni a few times, as
king what had happened to Jason, demanding to know when Toni’s bakery would reopen. Over slices of chocolate pound cake and coffee, Toni had to patiently explain to Martha that Jason had said he’d visit soon, and that she was unsure when she’d reopen Shades of Chocolate.

  The following Sunday after Martha’s visit, Toni entered Blue Spring Community Church, taking a deep breath. Jason had been gone for two months, and she’d missed him like crazy. Her fingers literally itched to call him, but she’d not reached out to him. Instead, she focused on herself and her faith issues. Once church was over, the pastor made his altar call. “If there is anybody here today who would like to accept Jesus as their personal Savior, then please come forward.”

  Smiling, breathing deeply, Toni walked to the front of the church. Clapping filled the sanctuary. The members of this church had been a big part of her journey to salvation. She didn’t realize she was crying until the usher pressed a tissue into her hands.

  *

  After the Sunday service was over, the pastor opened up the baptismal pool. Using a loaned bathing suit, Toni stepped into the tepid water. After she’d stepped forward, she’d kindly asked if she could get baptized. She wanted to get baptized to openly show her new faith and to show repentance of her sins.

  The cool, clear water lapped around her legs.

  “Toni, you have accepted Christ as your Savior?”

  “Yes, Pastor.”

  “By the power given me by the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit, I baptize you.”

  Toni pinched her nose shut before the pastor dipped her backwards. The cool water whirled around her, covering her, making her feel cleansed. He then guided her out of the water, and Toni smiled, hugging her pastor, tears of joy streaming from her eyes.

  Chapter 38

  The day after her baptism, Toni drove to Shades of Chocolate to get the mail. Seeing her bakery all busted up, still caused her to wince, but the pain was lessening each day. She approached her mail box, opened it. She pulled out the mail, spotting the check from the insurance company. Her settlement had finally arrived, and now she just needed to start hiring contractors to do the repairs.