by Andrea Grigg
For the girl in the ladies’ room, the party was one of the highlights of her life and she had no idea how sad that was. It might be as close to heaven as she was ever going to get. For Lainey, it could be the closest she’d ever get to hell.
She could be on her way to making the biggest mistake of her life.
Chapter Thirteen
Lainey was hooked, addicted to a drug called Nick. She supposed she was no different to any other girl in a new relationship, but he wasn’t just any man.
After experiencing part of the glitzy side of his life, it amazed her how Nick was happy doing ordinary things. The night after the premiere he went grocery shopping with her, pushing the trolley just like all the other men. Except the other men weren’t asked for their autographs in the cereal, shampoo and dairy sections.
On Friday night, he went and played tennis with Adam and then stayed to watch the end of Sleepless in Seattle, teasing her when she cried.
On Saturday, he played golf in the morning, again with Adam, and then helped wash her car. She and Lara made a giant stir-fry for dinner and he stayed, content to hang out with her and the crew.
And on Sunday, he told her he loved her.
Kate was having a siesta, Lara and Adam were out and Lainey was doing schoolwork. Usually, she did it on a Monday night but she had to do it today. Tomorrow she was meeting the rest of The Mavericks. They were flying to Chicago on Tuesday morning and three of them were staying overnight with Nick.
Her eyes kept straying from the papers in front of her and flicking over to Nick. Then she’d have to refocus and start again. She’d almost given up when he caught her and smiled his lazy smile, the one that made women buy magazines with his picture in it.
‘Are you nearly done?’
‘Almost.’ She frowned at him, like it was his fault. ‘I can’t concentrate.’
‘Neither can I.’ He turned off the television, came over and took the pen out of her unresisting hand. ‘Work can wait.’ He kissed her palm, the inside of her wrist. ‘This can’t.’
Lainey closed her eyes as his lips began a journey along her jaw. If there was a category in the Guinness Book of Records for the most goosebumps produced in five seconds, she would’ve won. The ten second section as well. And the number of somersaults made by a stomach.
Her eyes flew open. He’d stopped just short of her mouth.
‘How’s the concentration now? Better?’
‘You are really …’ She groped around for the right word but couldn’t find it.
Nick smiled, finally kissed her, then wound a strand of her hair around his fingers. ‘You do realise how much I love you, don’t you?’
Lainey was grateful her hair was long or else it would have been painful when she jerked back. Then wished she’d stayed still.
Nick scooted back in his chair. ‘Why do you do that, Lainey? Why do you always keep me at arm’s length?’
‘Nick, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Please.’ She gave him an agonised look.
‘So am I making a fool of myself here? I didn’t think I was imagining things but maybe I have been. Talk to me, Lainey.’ He was upset and had every right to be.
‘Nick, you haven’t imagined anything. I love you too. A lot.’ She hated the way the words came out and he didn’t look convinced. ‘I do.’
‘But what? There’s always a ‘but’.’
Lainey picked up the pencil, ran her fingers down the length, flipped it over and did it again. ‘But I can’t see how it’s going to work.’
‘What do you mean, ‘how it’s going to work’? We’ll make it work!’
‘It’s not that easy.’ Lainey rolled the pencil between her palms. ‘That’s the trouble, Nick. You haven’t thought this through. The idea’s wonderful, but not the practical part. And it’s too quick. It’s only been two months.’
‘Lainey, if it wasn’t for those stupid letters going missing we’d already be married with 2.3 children and a dog. You know that as well as I do.’ He was up, dragging his hand through his hair. He didn’t see her flinch at the mention of children.
‘What do you want from me, Nick? We’re not married, I have my own life and we’re not on the same page so where do we go from here?’
‘What do you mean, we’re not on the same page? I thought you said you loved me. Or were you saying it because I said it first and that’s what you’re supposed to do?’
Lainey kept her eyes on the pencil. ‘Nick, I just don’t think God wants me to spend my life following you around, going to parties, looking decorative, playing the game.’ She looked up and wished she hadn’t. He wasn’t happy.
‘Is that all you think my life is? Some sort of self-serving game? Do you honestly think I make movies, sing and write songs, make a fortune and keep it all to myself just because I can?’
He sat down, whipped the pencil out of her hands and held both of her wrists, his face close.
‘Do you know how many charities I support? What organisations I’m involved in? How many fundraisers I attend? How many underprivileged children I’ve been able to help? No, of course you don’t. And if it wasn’t for this game I’m playing, I wouldn’t be able to do any of it.’ He let her go and stood up again.
‘Do you really think I’m that selfish? That I’d go along with ‘he who dies with the most toys wins’? I thought you knew me better than that. Thanks a lot, Lainey. Maybe you’re right. It is too soon.’
Lainey didn’t know what to say. She’d never felt so small and she’d never seen him so angry with her. Worst of all, she’d hurt him. She’d judged his life without knowing the first thing about it. As far as she knew he wasn’t a born-again Christian, but he was doing exactly what Jesus asked humanity to do. Looking after its poor.
‘Nick, I’m sorry.’ She hoped he knew how much she meant it. ‘I was wrong. Forgive me.’
‘Don’t judge me, Lainey. I mightn’t go to church much but I know the gift God has given me and I know how to help others with it. That’s a start, isn’t it?’
She nodded, mute.
‘And another thing. I believe that if two people love each other they’ll do whatever they can to be together, to make their relationship work. I thought you believed that too.’
She couldn’t look, not wanting to cry in front of him.
‘Well, then, maybe you don’t love me as much as I’d hoped you did.’ He spoke softly and his words chilled her. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow. Ring me if you change your mind and don’t want to come.’ He sighed heavily. ‘I’ll see myself out.’
Lainey didn’t move. After several minutes, Kate’s door opened and she came and sat next to her.
‘Are you alright? I didn’t hear what was being said, but it sounded intense.’
‘It was.’ Lainey took a shaky breath. ‘I need to go for a run.’
It was the best way she knew to sort herself out. She put on her Tinkerbell t-shirt, wanting something of Nick to comfort herself with. By the time she got down to the beach, her numbness had worn off and the tears had started instead. She cried most of the way home, ignoring curious glances from onlookers, and felt marginally better. She didn’t go to church, but stayed home. She prayed and read her Bible, then finished her marking.
By the time the others came home, she’d come to the conclusion she still didn’t know how their relationship was going to work out, but God did. ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding …’
The other thing she’d discovered was how arrogant and judgemental she could be. She couldn’t believe she’d done that to Nick, of all people. She’d put herself up on a pedestal because she thought she had it together spiritually, and she had fallen. She didn’t deserve the way he loved her – she hoped he still did.
* * *
Subdued and contrite, Lainey was glad to go to work the next day, to have s
omething to do. It was three o’clock before she had a chance to think about the evening ahead.
She sat at her desk, her head in her hands. There was a knock on the door and she groaned inwardly, just wanting to be left alone. Regardless, her manners kicked in and she looked up with a polite smile. Only to find it was Nick.
He hastily put down what he was holding as she flew into his arms.
‘I’m so sorry! I really am. I don’t know how to show you how sorry I am.’ The words tumbled out. ‘Please, Nick?’
He tried to look stern but his lips twitched. ‘Have you any idea how hard it is to stay mad at you, Miss Sullivan?’
‘After yesterday, I imagine it would be very easy.’
‘Well, I tried, really hard, and I couldn’t.’ He smiled and smoothed her hair back off her face. ‘Can we kiss and make up now?’
Lainey didn’t need to be asked twice. She hoped no one had forgotten their homework or a musical instrument. They’d get a shock if they saw her now.
‘The cleaner will be in here in a minute,’ she said eventually.
‘And the coffee will be going cold. I brought chocolate too. I thought you might need some.’
‘I love you, Nick.’
‘Yeah, I know.’ He smiled and kissed her again. ‘Now, would you like to hear about this school in Africa I’ve had something to do with?’
‘Of course I would.’
They sat at a couple of desks, broke open the chocolate and drank their coffee. Lainey listened to him relate how he and James had helped fund the rebuilding and resourcing of a school, and loved seeing the satisfaction he got out of it.
‘That’s fantastic, Nick. We take so much for granted, don’t we?’
‘After going there and seeing how these kids live, I don’t take anything for granted anymore. It might sound trite, coming from me, but I mean it. That’s why I do what I can with what I’ve got.’
‘I’m sorry for what I said yesterday. I’ve never thought of you as selfish for a minute. I do know you better than that. I also found out a few unpleasant things about myself.’
‘It’s okay.’ Nick took her hand and turned it over then traced her palm with his finger. ‘I learned something too.’
‘What’s that?’
‘I learned,’ he said, his heart in his eyes, ‘that when you love somebody, you become vulnerable.’
Lainey closed her fingers around his. ‘Yes, you do.’
He took a deep breath and let it out. ‘Right, drink up, we’ve got to go.’
‘Go? Go where?’ She was a little off kilter.
‘You’re on my soccer team, three-a-side, down at the park near my place. The boys are waiting. And you have to drive me because I got Angelo to drop me off.’
‘What if I was cross with you and refused to give you a lift?’
‘Nah. That wasn’t going to happen.’
She poked out her tongue. ‘Don’t get cocky, Cusack. Hey, these Mavericks had better be decent competition for me.’
‘You’re full of it.’
‘I know, but you need me.’
‘That I do.’ Nick kissed her. ‘That I do.’
Chapter Fourteen
Later, Lainey and Mia were making coffee in Nick’s kitchen. The boys were downstairs playing pool.
‘Well, you’re in. You’ve been given the stamp of approval.’
Lainey grinned. ‘That was quick.’
‘Yeah, well Nate says you’ve got the best legs he’s ever seen and made me promise not to tell Angela. Simon thinks the whole package is pretty well perfect. Chris was the only one who was unhappy and that’s because he’s shorter than you.’
Lainey laughed. ‘A lot of men are. What did Nick say to all that?’
Mia helped herself to one of Lainey’s homemade choc-chip biscuits. ‘Nothing. He didn’t hear any of it. They made comments to me whenever they stopped for water while you were playing soccer. These are very good by the way.’
‘Thanks. One of Lara’s mother’s recipes.’ Lainey sipped her coffee. ‘Nick and I used to play muck-around soccer with our youth group years ago. I’d forgotten how competitive he can get.’
‘How competitive he can get! The two of you are as bad as each other. That was something else Chris said – you might go to church and look like an angel but you play like the devil.’
Lainey laughed again. ‘I hope his shin’s alright.’
‘He’s fine. He was looking for an excuse to stop. It was his pride hurting more than his leg. You guys were whipping him.’
‘He seems nice and really funny. What’s his wife like?’
‘Sally? She’s lovely. They’ve got the most adorable children. Chad’s four and Emily’s two. It must be hard leaving them behind, but they come when they can.’
‘And Nate’s wife is expecting a baby?’
Mia nodded. ‘Angela’s nine weeks pregnant and sick, poor thing. She’s the complete opposite of Nate. He’s the shyest one and she’s got this mass of gorgeous red hair and a temper to match. She’s only little but she makes up for it in other ways.’
‘And what’s the story with Simon?’
‘He’s been with Jen for six years. She has her own interior design business down in Melbourne and we don’t get to see her very often. Between you and me, I don’t really mind. I always feel like she’s checking out my house and it doesn’t make the grade.’
‘Do you think they’ll have children?’
‘They’re not planning to, as far as I know. Simon thinks Chris and Nate are nuts, having children now. He thinks they’re far too young.’
‘Well, late twenties is young these days, especially for a man.’ Lainey got up and rinsed out her mug. ‘What about you and James?’
‘One day soon, I hope. What about you and Nick?’
‘Shhh! Mia, please!’
Mia chuckled. ‘Sorry. It’s just that you guys are great together. I suppose it’s because you have so much history. You see Nick as Nick, whereas most girls get overawed by him. It’s hard for him to find someone who can be themselves around him, not what they think he wants them to be.’
Lainey began tracing the patterns on the marble bench top. ‘It is kind of weird. I mean, we knew each other so well, grew up together, all that stuff. We practically used to live in each other’s pockets, then poof! Nothing. Now we’re both adults and there’s this ten year gap we’re trying to fill each other in on yet we’re still connected by the past. Sometimes I forget there are incidents and conversations Nick wasn’t around for, and I’m always surprised when he doesn’t remember them, which is stupid because of course he wasn’t there, but it feels like he should’ve been.’ She looked up. ‘Sorry. I can ramble on a bit. Occupational hazard.’
Mia grinned. ‘I don’t mind at all.’
When the boys came back upstairs they spent the rest of the evening playing video games and eating Lainey’s biscuits. Their flight left at seven in the morning so they called it a night quite early.
Nick walked Lainey out to her car. ‘It’s nearly our birthdays.’
‘Twenty-seven! I can’t believe it. What do you want to do?’
‘Whatever you decide. It doesn’t have to be fancy. I’m just happy we’re having it together again.’
‘Me too. I’m struggling to think of something to get you though. You’ve got everything.’
‘As long as I’ve got you I’ve got everything.’ He smiled and kissed her. ‘Some more of your cookies would be just fine.’
Lainey narrowed her eyes. ‘You’re not going to go overboard for me, are you? It needs to be fair.’
‘I’ve already got you sorted. You’re going to love it.’
‘Hmmm. Now I’m worried.’
‘Don’t be. And then we get a whole week together. No work, no school, no time schedule, just us.’
‘And your mother.’
‘Yes. Can’t forget the chaperone.’
‘No chaperone, no holiday.’
‘I’ve already packed the running shoes. I’ve a feeling I’m going to need them.’
Lainey grinned. ‘You’d better kiss me goodbye then go and get your beauty sleep. You’ve got a big week ahead.’
Nick was very accommodating. ‘This is for tomorrow … this one’s for Wednesday … this one’s for Thursday …’
Lainey sank into her seat. ‘Whew. I can’t wait for the big tour.’
* * *
Lainey spent the weekend at her parents’ place with Sarah. She hadn’t stayed over since Christmas and she’d missed catching up with her mother. Phone calls were okay but this was much better.
They talked briefly about Nick before going onto other things and then went to bed. They had two whole days ahead of them and Lainey was determined to tackle her mother about the phone call to Hannah all those years ago. She had no intention of being nasty about it, she just wanted to discuss it in light of the fact she was about to go and stay with her.
Lainey woke late, relishing the fact she needn’t make a trip to the laundromat for once. Knowing her mother, her washing would already be done and hanging on the line.
She padded into the kitchen to make coffee and found Rose sitting at the table, writing.
‘Morning, sleepyhead.’ Rose folded the letter and put it in an envelope.
‘Hi.’ Lainey yawned. ‘Where’s everyone else?’
‘Gone out to breakfast. Now before you get upset at being left out, I asked them to. I want to talk to you.’ Rose handed her the envelope as she sat down. ‘I want you to give this to Hannah when you see her.’
‘Actually, I wanted to talk to you about Hannah.’
‘What about her?’
Lainey fingered the edges of the envelope. ‘Nick told me about the phone call you made to her when I found out I was pregnant. He said you told her about us sleeping together and you went off at her. Why, Mum?’
Rose took off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. ‘Put yourself in my shoes, Lainey. My sixteen-year-old daughter had just told me she was pregnant. Like a lot of other mothers, my first instinct was to let loose at the parents, or parent in this case, of the baby’s father. I needed someone to blame. Unfortunately it happened to be Hannah, my best friend.’