by Andrea Grigg
‘But it wasn’t her fault, it was ours. And you weren’t that close anymore from what I remember.’
‘No, we weren’t. Hannah thought Roger was being too hard on you and had spoken to me about it. I thought he was too, at times, but didn’t want to admit it. He was my new husband, a pastor and I didn’t like him being criticised. As it happened, he turned out to be right, didn’t he?’
Lainey couldn’t deny it. She’d ended up pregnant, hadn’t she? ‘Nick and I discussed this already. What we did damaged the relationship between you and Hannah and we want to do whatever we can to bridge the gap.’
‘Well, you don’t need to do that but I appreciate your concern and understanding now that you’re both older. Have you told him about Liam?’
Lainey sighed. ‘No. I’ve tried, but I get interrupted every single time. And the longer it goes on, the harder it is.’ She frowned. ‘What do you mean we don’t need to bridge the gap?’
‘Hannah and I have been in contact for the last two months.’
‘You have?’
Rose looked at her. ‘She knows about Liam.
Lainey felt the blood drain from her face.’What do you mean, she knows about Liam. Did you tell her?’
‘No, of course I didn’t tell her. I wouldn’t do that, Lainey. She guessed.’
‘How?’
‘Seeing you and Nick were back in contact, I really wanted to get in touch with her again. I rang the church for her number and spoke to Pastor Ray. It was wonderful catching up with him. He and Carolyn are still there.’
Lainey gestured impatiently. ‘Tell me about Hannah.’
Rose smiled. ‘She was so pleased to hear from me. I apologised again for that phone call and then we got onto what had happened when we left and how you’d ended up at Marshalls Creek. She put two and two together and was brave enough to ask the question.’ Rose touched Lainey’s hand. ‘She cried Lainey; not for herself, or even Nick, but for you. She was so worried about you and what you’d gone through.’
‘Oh, Mum.’ Tears welled. ‘How am I going to face her? I gave away her grandchild.’
Rose blinked away her own tears. ‘She can’t wait to see you. She doesn’t hold anything against you and loves you like her own, Lainey, like she always has.’
‘I hope you told her Nick doesn’t know.’ Lainey grabbed a tissue.
‘Yes. She’s promised not to say anything.’
‘What am I going to do, Mum? I’ve tried to tell him but it’s so hard. I’m scared he’s going to hate me for keeping it from him and not understand why I didn’t track him down in the first place and tell him then. I really wish I had.’
‘Lainey, you were only sixteen and no one knew how things were going to pan out. If he really loves you, he’ll forgive you. It might take time, but he’ll do it.’
Lainey rubbed her forehead. ‘I know I need to tell Nick about Liam, and maybe that’s the purpose for us meeting up again, but I almost wish we hadn’t. I’ve fallen for him all over again and I know he’s fallen for me, yet we don’t think the same way spiritually. I’ve got this constant war going on inside my head and I don’t know what to do. And I especially don’t get why God let all this happen if it’s only going to end badly.’
‘I know it’s hard, honey, but the Lord knows the bigger picture. Trust Him.’ Rose grasped her hand across the table. ‘And I’m here for you no matter what.’
‘I remember you saying that back in Marshalls Creek.’
‘Well, I haven’t changed my mind.’
Chapter Fifteen
‘I’m absolutely stuffed.’ Mia pushed away her plate. ‘And you’ve had seconds! How do you do it?’
Lainey grinned. ‘I do tend to eat a lot.’
‘And you don’t put on any weight. Half your luck. I guess it’s all the exercise you do. No wonder you look so good. Talking of such things, what did everyone at work say about the photos in the magazines?’
‘That was so embarrassing.’ Lainey closed her eyes at the memory. ‘I walked into work one morning and someone had cut out all the pictures and made a collage out of them and put it above the sign-in book.’
Mia laughed. ‘You’ve got to admit, they’re great photos.’
‘Yeah, thanks to you.’
There was one in particular Lainey really liked. They were on the red carpet, Nick’s arm around her waist. His smiling face was half turned towards her and she was laughing back at him. For once she didn’t mind it was a partially sideways shot. Her nose didn’t look as long as it usually did.
She couldn’t wait to see Nick and was dying to hear about their appearance on the talk show. It was Tuesday night, but Lainey had decided to forfeit her homegroup in favour of going with Mia to the airport.
‘Tell me, what’s Malcolm like?’ Lainey asked, as they took their coffee into the lounge room.
‘We get on well. He’s very protective of his boys of course, having been with them right from the beginning. And a little worried about the articles popping up in that Hot Goss magazine. Have you seen it?’
‘No, I haven’t even heard of it.’
‘It’s new. Like all the others it has celeb photos and the usual things, but it’s got one regular feature called ‘Digging Deep’. It delves into the personal part of celebrities’ lives. They insinuate a lot of stuff, but there’s enough truth to give credibility to the story. Next month’s issue is on The Mavericks. The boys have kept out of the major headlines over the years but like everyone, they’ve got their secrets.’
Lainey shrugged. ‘At the risk of sounding naïve, none of them seem the type to have done anything too stupid.’
‘There’s always something. What I’m going to tell you must remain confidential.’ At Lainey’s nod Mia continued. ‘Years ago, Simon had a drinking problem. He lost his licence and had to take an anger-management course. All that got dealt with in-house with only a small mention in a couple of magazines. Hot Goss could make a good story out of it and drag Simon’s name through the mud all over again.’
Mia put down her mug. ‘I suppose you’re the best person to ask about Nick. No skeletons are going to come flying out of his closet, are they? He always says he’s had a very ordinary life.’
With great effort, Lainey kept her tone light. ‘No, he was a good boy. His worst sin was chewing gum in church.’ Her heart thumped. How easy would it be to unearth the fact she’d had his baby?
On Liam’s birth certificate she had put ‘father unknown’. She’d hated doing it but identifying him could have significant consequences if he became successful. Now, Lainey was glad of her decision.
‘So are you okay about all this?’ Lainey remembered how much Mia worried about things.
‘Yes and no.’ Mia stared hard at her coffee. ‘Have you been praying for me?’
Lainey blinked. ‘Yes, I have. Why?’
‘I want to talk to you about something. I feel I can trust you.’
‘I promise I won’t tell anybody, not even Nick.’
Mia nodded. ‘Good. Do you remember me telling you how I’d done something really bad? Something that God can’t possibly forgive me for?’
‘Yes.’ Now wasn’t the time to argue the point.
‘Well, a few years ago, when I first started working for The Mavericks, I got myself into a bit of strife. I’d broken up with my boyfriend the week I started my new job. He had become very possessive, so I ended it. He wasn’t happy and kept trying to convince me to get back with him. He would turn up at all hours which freaked me out. One day, he came to work and managed to get past reception. I’d already met James and thought he was gorgeous, but I didn’t think there’d ever be a chance of anything developing between us.’ Mia tucked her legs up underneath her on the couch and stared absently somewhere over Lainey’s head.
‘As I said, Tony managed to get in and he cornered me i
n my office. It was after five on a Friday, and most people had gone home. He started by talking, then arguing and he got louder. He had me up against the wall when James came in, wondering what all the commotion was about. He pulled Tony off me and called for security. I was a mess.
‘James insisted on driving me home. We had a few drinks, one thing led to another and we ended up in bed. It was very awkward afterwards. We were both really embarrassed, me for being such a pushover and him for taking advantage of me. We agreed not to see each other until I’d had time to sort myself out. A month later I discovered I was pregnant but I didn’t know who the father was, Tony or James. It was awful. I couldn’t tell anybody what was going on, certainly not my family or James. I decided to have an abortion despite everything I’d been brought up to believe in.’ Mia shifted and leaned forward, cradling her mug in her hands.
‘I was stewing at my desk one day when Malcolm came past and with one kind word from him I just lost it. He took me into his office and I told him the whole sad story. He was the one who organised the abortion, took me there and drove me home. I developed an infection and again, Malcolm came to my rescue, got me off to the doctor. I had a week off work and he told everyone I had the flu. Unfortunately, I have a certain amount of internal damage and my chances of falling pregnant again are about fifty percent.’
‘Oh, Mia.’ Lainey saw how hard her friend gripped the handle of her mug.
‘When James and I started dating properly about six months later, I finally told him. He was very upset I hadn’t come to him for help but very grateful to Malcolm for getting me through it. My family still doesn’t know anything about it. You’re the only person to know outside of James and Malcolm.
‘I need you to pray for me Lainey. Firstly, that this doesn’t end up in Hot Goss and secondly that I can get pregnant. You’re the only person I know who believes in God the way you do. I need His help. That’s if He thinks I deserve it.’
‘Oh, Mia,’ Lainey said again, her heart aching. ‘Of course I’ll pray for you. God still loves you.’
‘Don’t say that, Lainey. I don’t want to cry and for some reason every time we talk about God, I start.’ She blinked rapidly. ‘Let’s go and get these men of ours.’
They talked of other, less personal things on the drive to the airport and arrived just as the plane landed. The arrivals lounge was chaotic.
‘Lainey? Lainey Sullivan?’
The vaguely familiar voice belonged to a man with untidy black hair, glasses, two cameras around his neck and a hessian bag over his shoulder.
‘High school orchestra, you played the violin, I played the clarinet …’
Lainey’s eyes widened. ‘Darren Cosgrove! It’s been a long time. What are you doing here?’
‘I swapped my clarinet for a camera. Much more my thing. I’ve been overseas doing freelance work, but now I have a wife and a baby so I’m home.’ He winked. ‘I know why you’re here.’
Lainey smiled. ‘I don’t imagine it was too hard to work out.’
‘Ah, no, especially when you’re with Mia Harrington.’ Darren fished around in his bag and handed her a business card. ‘Take this, in case you decide to do me a favour for old time’s sake. I’m going to see who I can find. There’s a few coming in tonight, not just your lot. I’ll see you around.’ He waved and headed back to the arrivals gate.
‘Be careful, Lainey.’ Mia was frowning.
‘It’s alright, I won’t contact him.’ To prove her point Lainey tore up the card and put it in the nearest bin.
Mia still looked dubious. ‘Come on. We’d better go over there ourselves. They’ll be one of the first through. They get priority treatment these days.’
They didn’t have long to wait. An advantage of being tall was being able to see over the top of most heads. Lainey’s eyes locked on Nick’s the moment he came around the corner and his face split into a grin.
She pushed her way over to him and he ditched the baggage trolley to pull her into a hug. ‘Hello, beautiful. What are you doing here on a Tuesday night? Aren’t you supposed to be at a meeting?’
‘Kiss me or I’ll leave you here.’
Nick grinned and obliged. Lainey was aware of camera flashes but didn’t really care. This was life with Nick. She’d rather have it this way than not at all, despite the misgivings that kept raising their ugly little heads.
Chapter Sixteen
Eleven days later found Nick on a plane once more. This time, Lainey was with him.
He looked at her and smiled. She smiled back, appearing calm, her vice-like grip on his hand a dead giveaway.
‘Relax!’ he said, yet again. ‘Mum can’t wait to see you. It’ll be fine.’
Up until takeoff she’d been enthusiastic and chatty. As the plane climbed and then levelled out, she had become quiet. It was over ten years since she’d been back and her excitement and apprehension were apparent in equal measure. Nick felt very protective and found himself thanking God for giving him a second chance with her.
He hadn’t told Lainey, but he’d been trying to pray more often. So far so good, but the idea of completely surrendering himself to God still got him every time. He’d heard the concept preached many times while growing up, but he didn’t get it. Surely believing and praying was enough. He liked his life the way it was and he felt he’d done a good job by himself. The old saying, ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’ suited him perfectly.
The plane taxied to its berth outside the terminal and came to a stop.
‘Ready?’
‘Ready.’ She smiled, but when he guided her in front of him he could feel her trembling. He couldn’t understand why she was so nervous
As they crossed the tarmac they saw his mother through the glass, waving madly. He heard Lainey’s quick intake of breath, then she almost sprinted inside.
He didn’t get a look in. Neither Lainey nor his mother held back and if he hadn’t expected it, their reunion could have been embarrassing. But airports were the places where things like this happened on a daily basis and no one paid the women any extra attention.
Nick grinned and dropped a kiss on his mother’s head buried in Lainey’s shoulder. ‘Hi, Mum. Good to see you too. I’ll get our bags.’
By the time they’d untangled themselves and dried their eyes, he’d collected their bags, had three photos taken and signed five autographs.
Nick drove home while his mother and Lainey talked. And talked.
He made coffee for the three of them and sat with them as they drank it, letting their conversation flow uninterrupted. When he rose to go downstairs, there was a slight pause as they acknowledged he was leaving. Nick almost laughed. He really didn’t mind as long as it was only tonight. He’d brought Lainey up here to spend time with him, not just his mother.
He’d unpacked, completed a workout on the gym, showered, and was watching the news when he heard Lainey come downstairs and through the door connecting the two houses.
‘I’m sorry we’ve been so long. Dinner’s almost ready.’
‘I was hoping you wouldn’t forget to feed me.’ He switched off the television and Lainey curled up beside him. He put his arms around her and they stayed that way, not saying anything, the silence broken only by the sound of the surf on the beach below. Nick could see Lainey’s fingers worrying the tennis bracelet he’d given her for her birthday, the diamonds winking in the evening light. Well, it had been part of her birthday present.
It was the last day of term and he’d turned up at her school with a bunch of roses and, with her principal’s permission, stayed for the afternoon. He got a real kick out of watching her with the kids.
He also spent half an hour meeting more of Lainey’s colleagues before going back to her place. There, he gave her the rest of her presents, eleven in total, something for each year he had missed. Most were small things; candles, a mug, squash ball
s, chocolates, that sort of stuff. The bracelet was for her twenty-first. She cried of course.
When he played the CD he’d made especially for her, his own recording of Groovy Kind of Love, she was even more overwhelmed. Unable to speak, she kissed him instead. A lot. A highly successful gift, in his opinion.
As well as filling a huge tin with her home-made choc-chip cookies, Lainey had bought him tickets for the football that night. James and Mia came and met Lara and Adam, Kate and Brian, and they all were introduced to Hamish, Sarah’s new boyfriend. He seemed nice enough, quiet compared to Sarah, but more than made up for it at the football.
As the night wore on, Lainey became more and more edgy. Nick was puzzled. They’d had a great day together. What could be the problem? He didn’t get an opportunity to find out until they were saying goodnight, sitting on the low stone wall outside her flat.
Nick took her hand and stroked the back of it. ‘What’s wrong, Miss Sullivan?
Lainey sighed, gave him a funny smile then looked away. ‘I need to tell you something, but I don’t want to do it now, not on our birthday.’
He kept his voice light. ‘You’re not trying to break up with me are you?’
Her fingers clutched his. ‘No.’
‘You’re not sick or anything?’
‘No! Nothing like that.’ She sighed again. ‘I’ve made a complete hash of this.’
‘Well, if it’s neither of those things, then it can’t be so bad.’ He drew her close and kissed the top of her head.
‘I promise I’ll tell you while we’re away.’
She would tell him – she’d promised. But he was becoming impatient.
‘I could stay like this forever. It’s so peaceful,’ Lainey said now, her fingers finally still.