by Andrea Grigg
For the next ninety minutes she was held captive. Sometimes, Nick sang with his hand over his heart. Lainey had laughed at him when he’d told her he was going to do such a corny thing but it thrilled her more than she’d anticipated. He loved her.
It was obvious he was doing what he was born to do. He was magnificent. And having decided that, she was even more confused as to how their worlds could blend. It was an annoying intrusion on her evening and she pushed it away.
As the introduction to The Journey began, she sat back and closed her eyes. It was a stunning song and when the last notes died away she wished she could hear it all over again. Two encores later, the boys disappeared the same way they had come, the house lights came on, and reality seeped back in like an incoming tide.
Lainey dug in her handbag for her pass. ‘What did you think, Adam?’
‘Not quite as exciting as a rugby league grand final, but pretty good. Go and tell Nick he did a good job and I’ll see him when he wants another whipping at tennis or golf. I concede defeat over the singing.’
Lainey grinned. ‘And the dance moves. He’s not bad at those either. I’ll see you soon.’
She made her way downstairs then swam upstream to get to the side of the stage. Once she’d shown her pass, a security officer led her through the barrier and around the side to a door marked ‘Dressing Room 1’.
It was full of people but her internal radar zeroed in on Nick. He was with James and Malcolm, a bottle of water in his hand, his eyes on the door, and waiting for her.
‘Hello, you.’ His embrace was sweaty, laced with remnants of his aftershave.
Lainey kissed him, his lips cold from the icy water, at odds with the rest of him. ‘You don’t even look tired!’
‘It’s all the running. I’m the fittest I’ve ever been.’ He laughed when she blushed. ‘Come and meet Angela.’
Just as Mia had said, Angela was tiny, with flaming red hair, porcelain skin, light green eyes, and a baby bump.
She gave Lainey a big smile. ‘It’s so good to meet you. Mia’s told me all about you. I’m glad you’re coming tomorrow.’
They were having lunch at Malcolm’s house, a tradition before each tour for the boys, the band members and their families. Lainey was looking forward to it.
‘So, what did you think of the concert?’ asked Mia.
‘It was fantastic.’ She caught Nick’s eye and he winked. She hadn’t had the chance to tell him what she’d thought.
James came up and they chatted for a few minutes before Lainey looked at her watch. ‘I really need to go,’ she said with regret, ‘the others are waiting for me.’
Nick led her out into the corridor. It was busy with people coming and going and he pulled her into an alcove. ‘Did everyone enjoy themselves?’
Lainey relayed what Adam had said and he chuckled. ‘Tell him I’ll be practising my tennis whenever I get the chance. But what did you think, Lainey? Did you like it?’
Her heart melted at the touch of uncertainty in his voice. Here he was, star of stage and screen, and it mattered to him what she thought. She put her arms around his neck. ‘You were amazing, Nick. How could you not know I would think that?’
‘Yes, but I need to hear it from you or else it all means nothing.’
His mouth claimed hers and the rest of the world faded away – until someone noticed them.
‘Get a room!’
Nick broke away and made a face. ‘Like that’s going to happen.’
Lainey felt guilty, not sure if it was for how she was feeling or for what she was doing to Nick.
‘Come on,’ he said, ‘I’ll take you out to the foyer.’
She sighed. ‘Tomorrow’s our last day together for awhile.’
‘I know.’ He squeezed her fingers as they walked towards the main doors.
‘What do you usually do after a concert when you’re on tour?’
‘Go back to whatever hotel we’re at, have a shower then unwind with a couple of drinks. Nothing major. We’re a dull lot. No wonder that stupid magazine struggles to find something new to say about us and rehashes the old stuff.’
Mia had been right about what they would print next. Last month’s column had focussed on Simon. This month it had majored on Nate and the fact he’d been brought up in a number of foster homes and was on the verge of becoming a delinquent when he’d been discovered and picked for The Mavericks. Again, Nick told her, it was nothing new.
They climbed a short flight of stairs and stopped at the big double doors where a security man let them through. There were large numbers of people still milling around the foyer and they could just see Lara and the others waiting by the designated pillar.
‘I won’t come any further. I’ll pick you up at eleven tomorrow.’ Nick kissed her. ‘Hurry home and go to sleep so the morning comes quicker.’
That made her smile. Hannah used to say that when they were little.
She was almost with Lara when she turned around and looked back. Nick was still there. He put his hand over his heart like he had in the concert, blew her a kiss, then disappeared.
The gesture should have made her happy; instead, she felt a lurch of apprehension. After tomorrow she would have three weeks before she saw him again. Three weeks in which she would need to pray and work out what to do. She couldn’t avoid it any longer.
* * *
Malcolm’s house was a sprawling two storey place with well-kept grounds in an expensive, leafy suburb. A spit-roast company had set up in a marquee and everyone was enjoying good company and good food.
Nick was very happy to have Lainey there. She was much more at ease with everyone now, mingling easily with the whole entourage, not just sticking with James and Mia. Nick was proud of her.
The only black mark on the afternoon was a conversation he had with Malcolm. He had reservations about Lainey, concerned about her being a ‘religious fanatic’ and told him straight up he should make sure her beliefs didn’t hold him back in any way. Nick let Malcolm know he was annoyed at his attitude, but the conversation had reminded him of something he needed to talk about with Lainey.
Nick didn’t get an opportunity until much later. Mia and James asked them back for dinner and Lainey was reluctant. She wanted to go to church but he persuaded her to go with him. He was leaving the next day.
‘You didn’t mind missing church did you?’ he asked as he drove her home. ‘You can go as many times as you want over the next couple of Sundays. I won’t be around to distract you.’
‘Actually, I was annoyed with myself.’
It wasn’t the answer he’d expected. When he glanced at her, she was looking straight ahead, arms folded. Not a good sign.
‘I didn’t go this morning because I wanted to sleep in after the concert and I knew I was going at night. That was one of my rules, remember?’
‘Yeah, but it’s only the once.’
‘I compromised. If I did it once, I might find it easier to do it again.’
‘You’re beginning to sound like Roger.’
‘Sometimes Roger makes a lot of sense, Nick.’
‘I was joking.’ Partly.
She was silent.
‘Okay.’ He blew out a breath. They might as well do this now or else it would be another three weeks until they could. ‘Malcolm spoke to me this afternoon.’
‘Oh?’
‘You don’t like him a whole lot, do you?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t really know him. It wouldn’t be fair to say.’
‘Well, it won’t help when I tell you this. He suggested I should be careful your religious beliefs don’t influence me in the wrong way.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘He thinks they might hold me back.’
She gave a half laugh. ‘He said that to me once too.’
‘
He did? When?’
‘At your movie premiere. He made sure I knew exactly what he meant, that I shouldn’t make you become too ‘religious’ in case it interferes with your career.’
‘But that’s just silly.’
‘Exactly.’ Lainey’s voice held a wry note. ‘Anyhow, I reassured him I have your best interests at heart and he needn’t worry.’ She looked at him. ‘There’s more to Malcolm than meets the eye, Nick. Don’t ask me how I know, I just do.’
‘That’s a strange thing to say.’ Nick felt himself becoming defensive. After all, Malcolm had looked after him for the last ten years.
‘Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.’
They pulled up outside her flat and sat there, neither of them making a move. Lainey fiddled with her shirt, her fingers pleating then smoothing the hem. Nick took off his seatbelt and turned to face her.
‘Hypothetically speaking, can you see us getting married one day?’
Lainey’s head shot up. ‘That’s a pretty lousy proposal, Nick.’
‘That’s because it’s hypothetical. I have a feeling you wouldn’t accept it anyway.’
‘Really? Why’s that?’ The pleating had increased but she wasn’t giving anything away, making him do all the talking. He didn’t mind. He wanted to tell her what he thought and give her time to think. She always needed time.
‘It’s to do with these ‘religious beliefs’ Malcolm is going on about. Hey, I’m not knocking them.’ He put a hand on her arm at her expression. ‘You’re who you are because of them and I love who you are.’
It was peculiar how he could sit here and discuss this so easily as if it wasn’t such a big deal when in reality it was enormous.
He continued. ‘You know I believe in God, but not the same way you do. I’ve asked Adam about him and Lara; they even pray together.’ He didn’t think he was telling her anything she didn’t already know. ‘I’m not like Adam, Lainey, and unfortunately, I don’t think it’s enough for you. You warned me about it on Valentine’s Day and I heard you, but I’d hoped that loving each other would take care of it.’
He sighed and took one of her hands. ‘Please don’t think I’m saying this because I’m looking for an excuse to break up with you. It’s the last thing I want but I’m starting to understand this is a real issue.’ He looked into her eyes. ‘Don’t say anything now. Think about it and let’s talk it over on the long weekend.’ He put her hand back in her lap and waited.
‘I love you, Nick,’ she said eventually, her voice soft. ‘Such a lot.’
‘I know.’ He raked a hand through his hair. ‘I didn’t really want to have this conversation.’
‘I was hoping we wouldn’t need to. It’s been on my mind more and more and I was going to bring it up anyhow.’ She looked at him, regret on her face. ‘But not tonight. You’re going away tomorrow.’
It occurred to him then she had been afraid of this all along, the reason why she’d been hesitant to resume their relationship. Looking at her now, all forlorn up against the door, he wished he’d kept his mouth shut.
‘Can’t you accept me the way I am?’ he asked. ‘Can’t it be enough?’
Again, he waited for her response.
Lainey threw off her seatbelt. ‘This is stupid. You’re the movie star, the famous singer and it drives me nuts that you’re the one asking me to accept you. I should be grateful you even talk to me, after what I did to you with Liam. It’s all wrong.’ She picked up her bag and flung open the door. ‘Ditch me, Nick. I keep telling you, I don’t deserve you. I’m just a school teacher who knows nothing about your world and will probably never fit in because of my beliefs. Malcolm’s right. I don’t belong.’ She jumped out, slammed the door and strode off down the path.
Nick whipped the keys out of the ignition and sprinted after her. ‘Lainey, get back here!’ He grabbed her arm and swung her around to face him. ‘What do you think you’re doing? Do you think you’ve got the right to end it like that, just give up? Not even think about fighting for what you want? I never took you for being a quitter.’
‘Don’t you dare call me that!’
‘Well, let’s fight it out then, but not where the neighbours can have a free show. It might be dark but we’re not being very quiet.’
He was right behind her as she stalked inside. Brian and Kate were in the kitchen, Lara, Adam, Sarah and Hamish occupied the lounge room. Lainey’s bedroom was out of the question. There was one place left.
Curious eyes watched as he dragged her into the bathroom and closed the door.
Lainey sat on the toilet lid looking mutinous. Nick couldn’t help smiling.
‘Stop it,’ she said. ‘You’re supposed to be mad at me.’
‘You should see yourself. You look like a naughty little girl.’
‘We’re supposed to be having an argument so let’s have it.’
‘If you promise we can kiss and make up afterwards.’
‘I’m not going to kiss you in my bathroom. It’s wrong.’
‘Don’t be silly.’ Nick went to pull her up but before he could, she turned and flushed the toilet.
‘What did you do that for?’ He stared at her in astonishment.
‘I don’t know, habit, I guess.’ She looked embarrassed and when she actually giggled, his heart lightened even more.
‘You’re crazy, Lainey Sullivan. And you’re even crazier if you think I’m going to ditch you just because Malcolm said something to upset you.’
‘Good,’ she said, ‘although I think it would be easier in the long run.’
‘Easier for who exactly?’
‘I don’t know. Malcolm I guess.’
‘Forget Malcolm.’ He pulled her against him and kissed her, just once.
‘Who’s Malcolm?’ she asked.
He kissed her again.
‘Were we talking about someone?’
‘Shut up, Lainey.’
There was a knock on the door. ‘Everything alright in there?’
‘Everything’s fine, thanks.’ Nick smiled. ‘Isn’t it?’
‘Yes. But we have to talk about this properly.’
‘We will. On the long weekend. I know it’s important.’
‘Now you have to kiss me for every day you’re away.’
He was more than happy to fulfill her request. Even in a bathroom.
Chapter Twenty
Nick let himself in the front door, dropped his bags and punched in the code to deactivate the alarm. He grabbed a bottle of cold water from the fridge before pressing the play button on the answering machine.
The last message was almost unrecognisable as Lainey.
‘Hi Nick,’ she croaked, ‘I’m still in Canberra and I’ve got the flu’. I won’t be able to come with you this weekend. I’ll phone you in the morning before we leave. I’m so sorry – talk to you soon.’
Nick listened to it twice more with a sinking heart. It had been several days since he’d spoken to Lainey and almost three weeks since he’d seen her. There was no way he was going anywhere without her. He had a vague memory of her saying there was a church camp on this weekend and most of her friends were going, including Lara and Kate. If she needed looking after, he’d do it.
Lainey rang at eight in the morning, barely able to talk. She’d even lost her appetite. Nick cut off her tearful apologies. ‘I’m taking you to the doctor,’ he said, ‘I’m not going to fly off and leave you behind.’
Nick waited in the school car park, as anxious as any parent, as two buses trundled in. Almost before the squish of the airbrakes had sounded the doors on the front bus opened. A familiar figure flew out and veered away from everyone else to lean over the bushes, clearly unwell. By the time he got to her, Lainey was propped up against the wire fence, watery-eyed and pale.
‘Hi,’ she said, or tried to.
‘You look awful.’ Nick put his arm around her and she leaned into him.
‘I feel worse than awful. Lucky I didn’t eat breakfast.’
‘Lucky you made it off the bus.’
‘Take her home, Nick. I’ll see to her kids.’ Carolyn came up, very sympathetic. ‘She’s been struggling since yesterday.’
Lainey slid down and put her head on her bent knees. ‘I think I’ll just stay here.’
Nick drove the car over and put her in it, while Carolyn sorted out her luggage. There were a lot of intrigued looks from the parents but he ignored them.
‘I’m so embarrassed. I threw up in front of everyone.’ Lainey pulled a tissue out of her pocket and blew her nose.
‘Well, it was better than throwing up on top of everyone.’ Nick patted her on the shoulder. ‘Make sure you tell me if you’re going to do it again.’
‘I’m alright now.’ She smiled wanly. ‘I’m sorry I’ve ruined our weekend.’ She was shivering even in her jumper and jacket.
‘You can’t help being sick. Let’s get you to the doctor.’
The receptionist at the doctor’s office took one look at Lainey and two at him before ushering them into a room where Lainey could lie down. Nick felt her forehead, remembering his mother doing it.
‘You’re really hot.’ He was quite worried.
‘Thanks. Glad you think so.’
‘Goose.’
The female doctor briskly diagnosed Lainey with tonsillitis as well as the flu and wrote a script. As she handed it to Nick, her eyes flicked over him properly for the first time, then widened with recognition. ‘Aren’t you supposed to be touring?’
‘We’re flying to Singapore on Tuesday.’
‘Right.’ She smiled and became quite personable. ‘No kissing. You don’t want what Lainey’s got.’ She fumbled around on the desk and found another piece of paper. ‘If you could please sign this for my daughter I’ll organise someone to get the antibiotics for you, save you going to the pharmacy. Deal?’
‘Deal.’ Nick wrote a message, signed it and handed it over. ‘Nice doing business with you.’
‘Believe me, the pleasure’s all mine.’ She even blushed a little.