by Andrea Grigg
Lara yawned and rubbed the small of her back. ‘That’d be nice. I didn’t sleep very well.’
That made two of them.
Lainey brought in the drinks then hopped up on the bed beside her. ‘We don’t have to do anything today. Yesterday was busy and I don’t mind staying put.’
Lara sighed. ‘Good. The baby kept me awake for ages. I find it so hard to get comfortable at night. Feel this.’ She placed Lainey’s hand on her stomach. It was rock hard. ‘It’s one of those Braxton Hick’s thingies. I’ve been having them a lot.’
Lainey knew what they were. ‘Are they painful?’ She hoped the answer was no.
‘Just uncomfortable. It’s easing off now.’ The baby moved under Lainey’s hand and Lara smiled. ‘For all I’ve been moaning and groaning, I love this bit.’
They watched the ripples of movement until the baby found the spot it wanted and settled. ‘Nick asked if he could talk to me today,’ Lainey said.
Lara frowned. ‘Why didn’t you tell me last night? And why are you so calm about it? Nervous, I could understand.’
Lainey ran her finger around the top of her mug. ‘I’ve been such an idiot.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘He’s got someone else.’
‘He has not.’
‘Yes, he does.’
‘Lainey, don’t be a goose. Nick loves you. You have a good imagination girl, but it gets in your way.’
‘I didn’t imagine what I heard.’ Lainey related the conversation between Nick and Adam.
Lara was silent for a bit. ‘Are you sure you heard right? Adam never said anything and he would’ve. There is no way Nick could have fallen out of love with you and in love with someone else in that short space of time. He’s not like that, Lainey.’
‘I didn’t think he was either, but I guess I was wrong. He hugged all of you guys but didn’t touch me or talk to me unless he had to. People change, Lara. Maybe it’s what God wants. I don’t know anymore.’
‘Rubbish! There has to be a simple explanation – ouch!’ She put her hand on her stomach. ‘These practice things always happen when I get excited.’
‘Relax then, please. I don’t want to have to climb Mt Warning to find your husband.’
Lara giggled. ‘It’d be the pits, wouldn’t it? Lainey, I know what you think you heard, but it’s not true. You’ll see. By this time tonight you’ll be laughing at yourself and wondering why you ever thought this way.’
‘I hope so.’ Lainey felt very flat. ‘Come on, let’s get some breakfast. I think my blood sugar needs help, along with everything else.’
Lara heaved herself off the bed. ‘I’ll be out in a minute. I want a shower first.’
Lainey ate a bowl of cereal then dropped some bread into the toaster. She tried to read the paper but couldn’t concentrate. She knew what she’d heard.
‘Lainey?’ Lara stood in the doorway, hair dripping, her face anxious. ‘You know those Braxton Hicks? They’re really starting to hurt.’
Please Lord, not now!
Lainey jumped as the toaster popped. ‘Are they regular?’
Lara nodded. ‘And my back is sore.’
Great. Nick disappears out of my life today and my best friend goes into labour without her husband around. Thanks a bunch, God.
‘Maybe we should time them over the next hour.’
‘Good idea. And I’m not going to panic about Adam not being around until I need to, okay?’
‘Lara, you can panic if you want. In fact, if you’re in labour, I might have to panic myself.’
She smiled. ‘I’ll be alright. First babies always take a long time, or so they said at the antenatal classes.’
Try four hours.
The contractions became more regular. Lainey breathed through them alongside Lara. She hadn’t forgotten a thing.
‘You’re very good at this.’ Lara looked approving. ‘You obviously listened to my explanations from antenatal classes. I think I’d like to ring the hospital.’
She was told to wait until her contractions were five minutes apart, or to come in if her waters broke, or if she was too uncomfortable. By the time they were down to ten minutes, Lainey was the one who was uncomfortable.
‘When did you say the boys were due back?’ She’d tried Nick’s mobile six times.
Lara was shifty. ‘There was the possibility of them going to the beach on the way home. It depended on the surf.’
‘Oh, great. And I suppose Adam took his board just in case.’
Lara nodded then braced herself on the kitchen bench.
Lainey gnawed at her thumb. ‘That was seven minutes. Can we please go?’
Twenty minutes later, she heaved a sigh of relief as she deposited Lara at the maternity ward. She’d done her job. Except Lara didn’t want her to go.
‘Wait with me until Adam comes? If it gets too much you can go but I really need you with me for now.’
What choice did she have?
Lainey waited outside the room while she was examined and the nurse came out chuckling. ‘She’s doing well. Typical Gold Coast father, out surfing. She’s six centimetres, by the way. Buzz me if you need anything.’
‘I’m going to kill Adam when he gets here.’ Lara spoke through clenched teeth.
‘Save your energy for later. You’re going to need it. Do you want me to rub your back?’ Lainey remembered it had helped her.
‘Yes, please. Oh, that’s exactly right.’ Lara gave her a strange look.
She looked at her oddly several times as Lainey suggested a couple of different things. After a particularly difficult contraction, she narrowed her eyes. ‘This is very peculiar, Lainey Sullivan, apart from the fact I’m here without my husband. How come you know what to do? Have you done this for someone before?’
She wasn’t going to lie. It was time to come clean. Lainey rinsed out a washcloth and wiped Lara’s sweaty face before she answered. ‘I’ve had a baby, Lara.’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘I’ve had a baby.’
Lara’s mouth formed an ‘O’ then changed. ‘Hold that thought.’ She puffed and panted then grabbed Lainey’s arm. ‘Did you say you’ve had a baby?’
‘Yes. When I was seventeen.’
Understanding registered. ‘That’s why you went to Marshalls Creek.’
Lainey nodded. ‘I had a year off to have him, came to Sydney to finish high school and met you. I adopted him out, Lara, the hardest thing I’ve ever done.’
Lara was gobsmacked. ‘Who was the father?’
Lainey hesitated, but only for a second. ‘Who do you think?’
More understanding dawned. ‘You’re kidding – Nick? Hang on.’ Her eyes never left Lainey’s during the next contraction and she blew out a breath at the end with a rush. ‘I tell you what, if this is a story you’re making up to take my mind off my labour, then it’s almost working.’
‘I’ve always wanted to tell you, Lara. You’re my best friend.’
‘And Nick knows?’
‘I told him after we’d met up again. That’s why the missing letters were so important. I didn’t think he’d want to know seeing as how he had apparently decided not to write to me. Anyhow, that’s all sorted now. Hardly anyone knows about the baby. Not even Sarah does – she was too young and went off to Sydney while I stayed out west. And Roger’s relatives who I lived with don’t know who the father is. Only Mum and Roger and Hannah know, and now you. You can tell Adam of course.’
‘Oh, Lainey. I don’t know what to say.’
Lainey smiled. ‘You don’t have to say anything, just concentrate on—’
The door burst open and Adam flew in, still in his boardshorts and a t-shirt that had seen better days.
‘Honey, I’m so sorry! I can’t believe this has happened. I’ve m
issed so much and I wanted to be here for all of it.’
Lainey didn’t think he even noticed she was there. She headed for the waiting room, sank into the nearest chair and closed her eyes. The restless night and the unexpected day had taken their toll.
‘Can I make you a coffee?’
She jerked upright. Nick stood at the kitchenette, making himself a drink.
‘Thanks.’ She closed her eyes again so she didn’t have to look at him. He was far too attractive, even in his boardies and old t-shirt, his hair full of salt.
‘How’s Lara doing? Has she got long to go, do you think?’
‘I don’t know. Everyone’s different.’ She accepted the polystyrene cup from him and he sat down, leaving a spare seat between them.
‘How long were you in labour for?’
‘Four hours. Very quick for a first time.’
‘I think you’re amazing, being here for Lara. It can’t have been easy for you.’
Lainey eyed him over the rim of her cup, annoyed he could be so calm and nice. There was sand on his feet and it irritated her. He’d been out having fun while she’d relived the most difficult day of her life. ‘I told her about Liam.’
Nick raised an eyebrow. ‘What did she say?’
‘Not much. She was a bit busy.’ She looked up as Adam appeared in the doorway. ‘How’s she doing?’
‘Great. She’s eight centimetres.’ He came and hugged her. ‘Thank you so much for all you’ve done today. Are you staying?’
‘I’ve come this far; there’s no way I’m going home. Get back to your wife.’ She smiled as he took off like a rabbit.
‘Guess I’ll be staying around then.’ Nick stretched his long legs out in front of him. ‘I was going to get you to give me a ride home.’
Of course – he was stuck here. ‘You can always get a taxi.’
‘Or we can have our talk.’
Here? What was he thinking?
‘Not now, Nick,’ she said, ‘I’ve had it. It’s been a big day and I’m exhausted.’
He looked at her kind of funny then shrugged. ‘Alright, suit yourself.’ He stood up. ‘I’m going down to the cafeteria. Want anything?’
She shook her head, astonished at his insensitivity. As if she would want to talk here! He probably just wanted to get it over and done with. Well, too bad. He would have to wait another day before he could give the all clear to his precious Evie, or Elke, or whoever she was.
Lainey leafed through some magazines, her stomach growling. She should’ve asked Nick to bring her something back after all.
He knew her too well. When he returned, he handed her a paper bag. ‘There’s no way you can go this long without eating, Miss Sullivan.’
It was a choc-chip muffin. Perhaps she should be a bit nicer to him.
‘Did you have any problems having Liam?’ His voice was soft. ‘I’ve never asked you before. Was he late or early?’
‘No, no problems. He was two days over.’
Being here in a hospital with all its distinct smells took her back. She tried to imagine Liam’s little face but the images were blurry. A lot of time had passed. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, chin in her hands, hiding the sudden tears.
‘Sometimes I find it difficult to know what to say to you about all this, Lainey.’ Nick’s hand was gentle on her back. She closed her eyes, willing herself not to turn around. ‘I’ve seen the way Adam has been with Lara and—’
‘Not long to go!’ The nurse breezed in then stopped. ‘You look like that singer fellow. You’re not, are you?’
‘I am actually.’ He removed his hand in order to sign the pad the nurse whipped out of her pocket. Lainey felt like slapping the woman for interrupting their moment. Not that it was going anywhere, thanks to Elsie. No, Eva.
‘Lainey, please can we talk? We’re stuck here, so why not?’ His mood had changed too.
‘This isn’t the time or the place, Nick. It’s not about us. And why say ‘stuck’ here like you don’t want to be?’
‘I didn’t mean it like that. Don’t be silly. We’ve been waiting for this for four and a half months. Why put it off any longer?’
How dare he be annoyed with her. ‘You obviously wanted it to be that long so what’s one more day?’
‘I didn’t plan on it being this long any more than you did.’
‘So, what stopped you?’
‘It’s complicated.’
Lainey gave a short laugh. ‘I reckon.’
Nick frowned. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
She stared back, lips pressed together, then decided to throw caution to the wind. He’d get his talk, but she’d get in first. ‘I know about Elsie.’
‘Who? Oh! Do you mean Elke?’
‘Yes. Sorry. Elke.’ Gotcha.
‘How did you hear about her?’ His expression had gone from confused to inscrutable.
‘It doesn’t matter.’ She wasn’t going to admit to eavesdropping. ‘What does matter is that I know you think she’s perfect.’
‘Is that right? Anything else?’
‘She’s smart and organises you brilliantly and she even goes to church. I’m very happy for you, Nick.’
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
‘You’re happy for me.’ His expression wasn’t so bland now. He was annoyed but she couldn’t figure out why. Wasn’t she making it easier for him?
‘Hi! Would you mind signing these for us?’ Two more beaming nurses.
Nick rearranged his features into a pleasant smile and became the professional. As they left, another three arrived.
Lainey drummed her fingers on the armrest. ‘Looks like they’ve all worked out who you are,’ she said, just loud enough for him to hear.
‘Unlike yourself.’ He muttered it sideways.
‘Sorry?’ She had no idea what he meant.
As soon as the nurses left he rounded on her. ‘Lainey Sullivan, when are you going to learn—’
Adam exploded into the room. ‘It’s a boy!’ He hugged Lainey, kissed her on both cheeks and made them laugh when he did the same to Nick. ‘I’ll come and get you both soon. He’s incredible!’
He left them staring at each another. Nick dropped his gaze first. ‘You’re right, Lainey. This isn’t the time or the place. Tomorrow will be fine.’
His tone wasn’t fine though. It was cold. What had she done? And what was it she still had to learn.
* * *
Nick couldn’t believe it. He thought Lainey knew how much he loved her. Why couldn’t she trust him not to change after all this time? He was dumbfounded.
He’d really wanted to talk to her Christmas night, especially after speaking with Jim Miller. He’d been standing by the tree ready to start the silly Secret Santa thing when Jim had come up.
‘Nick, I was praying for you this morning and I know this might sound odd but I believe the Lord has told me to tell you something. Well, it sounds odd to me, anyhow.’
‘Really?’ How nice he’d been praying for him. Nick was intrigued.
‘It was just two words. Green light. Does that mean anything to you?’
Nick laughed, incredulous. ‘It certainly does. Thank you.’
‘Excellent. Maybe you can share with me one day what it’s all about.’
‘I will.’ As soon as he’d spoken to Lainey.
A week ago, he’d read in Proverbs about finding a wife and receiving favour from the Lord. The verse leapt out, and he felt the Lord was saying, ‘Remember, she belongs to Me first.’ Just to be sure, he’d prayed God would somehow confirm he had the green light to go ahead and talk to her. And now Jim had said what he’d said. Amazing.
Just as he was about to tell her they should talk that night instead of the next day, his mother had interrupted and asked him to do something and he’d lo
st the opportunity. Now, when he had another, Lainey had got it all wrong. She was right in one sense. This wasn’t a good time. There was a brand new family to meet.
Lara looked weary but elated as she held her baby.
‘My wife,’ said Adam, ‘is an absolute champion.’
Lainey’s face was full of awe as she looked at the little bundle.
‘He’s beautiful,’ she breathed. ‘What’s his name?’
‘Jamie Steven,’ Lara said, ‘after both our dads. Come here.’ She patted the space beside her and passed Jamie over as soon as she sat down. Lainey was mesmerised and so was Nick.
‘Lara told me about your baby,’ Adam said quietly. ‘I can’t imagine what you must have felt when you found out.’
‘It was a shock, but nothing compared to what Lainey’s gone through.’ Nick watched her nuzzle Jamie and swallowed hard.
‘I’ve never forgotten his smell,’ he heard her whisper.
Lara was in tears. ‘I did the same thing. Oh, Lainey, I don’t know how you did this. When did you have to say goodbye to him?’
‘He was an hour old.’
‘Jamie’s almost that now.’
Nick couldn’t speak, trying to imagine her doing it, putting himself in her place. Thank goodness she’d had Rose.
‘Would you like to hold him, Nick?’ Lainey’s eyes were even bluer than usual, magnified by tears.
He sat in a chair by the bed, just like he had when visiting Sharon. Back then, when he’d held Shelby, he hadn’t known what he did now.
Lainey settled Jamie in his arms. She knelt down between his knees and they looked at him together, pulling back a corner of the bunny rug to see him better.
Nick couldn’t believe all the strange expressions a baby could make. One eye opened and Jamie grunted and squeaked, getting used to this strange new world.
Had Liam done this?
Nick didn’t realise he was crying until a tear dripped onto the baby blanket. Lainey reached up and wiped his face. He watched hers crumple as their eyes met.
‘I’m sorry.’ She stood up. ‘Lara, I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I have to go.’