Planet Kill

by Sebastian Wilde

  “Pierce,” Dregg said, calmly. “You won’t have that gun to protect you there.”

  “But I’m here now, and you’re definitely not looking at a person who isn’t going to protect himself now.”

  “You can protect yourself by using your sexuality as a weapon,” Dregg said. “You’re a good-looking guy. Viewers will want to see you…will want to watch.”

  “No,” Pierce slowly said. “This is some kind of kinky trick, isn’t it? You just want to use the situation to take advantage of me, don’t you? I admit I’ve got a nice face, sexy eyes, and this body is rocking. It’s mostly the result of a careful diet, but I work out enough.”

  “Oh please,” Dregg said. “You’re not my type at all. I’m simply trying to help you. You’re only going to have sex with Beatrice.”

  “Trying to help yourself, you mean. To me,” Pierce said. “Not falling for it. And did you say Beatrice? That’s a terrible name for your sex robot. I mean, come on… Do you have a thing for little old ladies? Or maybe it’s a Dante reference? But if you’re going to go with a literary reference, Scarlett would be better. Or maybe a different old-fashioned name, like Buffy.” He clicked the safety off. “I’m serious.”

  Dregg and Beatrice backed up. “Fine,” Dregg said. “Fine. But it’s your life you’re gambling with, and you need to know how to give good oral.”

  Pierce snorted. “I’m good. Really.”

  “Oh?” Dregg said. “You’re already good at giving?”

  “No, I meant I’m good with not taking lessons from… never mind.”

  “Too bad,” Dregg said. “I learned this masterful technique on Planet Kill. It would have served you well.”

  “Uh-huh.” Pierce holstered his sidearm. “Can we get back to real training? How about we move on to a rundown of the players? Who is the biggest threat, who has the best weapons? That kind of thing. And…” Pierce looked up at the huge scarred robot. “Could we do so without your pet?”

  Beatrice scowled.

  “You look so very scary. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate, ma’am.” Pierce made a show of a childish pout.

  “Fine,” Dregg said. “You do need to know the human battlefield. Lives can be lost with a look. Or saved.”

  “Why don’t we sum up everything about the plants, environment, and politics in a quick synopsis. I’ve always preferred adventures where the setting is summed up nice and short so we can get to the action.”

  “Fine,” Dregg said. “I’ll tell you this much. When you’re out there, it isn’t the same as what you’ve seen on those screens of yours. You see a bloodstain on a screen, it’s not the same as feeling the hot blood splatter across your face. Feeling a woman’s warmth around your cock while surrounded by a bunch of people who might turn on you at any minute to get that next level, or even the second girl who might slit your throat while she’s rubbing her breasts in your face… It’s not in any way what you’re used to. Shit, you want to know what it’s like up there? You won’t know until you’re holding your buddy’s heart in your hands and taking a bite out of it to win a bid and some fame from the viewers.”

  Pierce wasn’t sure if he would be sick or laugh. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say you want to have sex with my pet robot now.”

  “The intel isn’t good enough to earn that.”

  Dregg groped the robot’s ass. “Heh,” he said. “Don’t know what you’re missing.”

  “I’m pretty sure I don’t need to know.” Pierce tapped a finger to his chin, impressed with his own wit.

  Dregg scowled, then waved his hand and sauntered off as if he’d been scolded. “Hydrate. Take a breather. We’re not stopping. Be at my place in an hour.”

  “Tough audience,” Pierce said, thinking about how fucked he was. Or not, he thought with a chuckle. But still, he may have chosen the wrong mentor.

  Pierce was no less uneasy the second time he had to go to Dregg’s domain. It was like some kind of low-budget virtual reality horror game where he was about to walk into a home full of enemies with only one thought on their minds: to execute Pierce in the most horrific way possible.

  He had to admit such paranoia was unfounded, especially considering how out of vogue horror VR was nowadays. It barely registered in the ratings. And why would it? With a click, anyone could watch real people in real danger, people fight, people bleed and die. Amazing, Pierce thought, that the more advanced humanity has become, the more people are drawn back to gritty and visceral real pain.

  Three raps at the door, but no immediate answer. Pierce guffawed and kicked the rubber welcome mat. ‘All Guests Welcome Here,’ it said. “Unless killing you means a level-up or more credits,” Pierce added with a grim, short laugh.

  When the door swung open, Pierce cut his smile off and looked up at Dregg. He seemed even taller and more intimidating with the added height of the door stoop.

  “Get the fuck in here before someone sees you, idiot,” Dregg said.

  “Gee, thanks,” Pierce said. “Warm welcome. Just like the doormat says.”

  “Doormat?” Dregg said. “I have a doormat?”

  Pierce closed the door behind him, not wanting to engage in one of Dregg’s endless digressions about the state of society and how people should act as if every second could be their last. “Just an expression,” Pierce replied, then followed Dregg deeper into a dimly lit corridor.

  Expecting to go back to the trophy room, Pierce started to turn right, but Dregg kept marching forward. Pierce’s brows furrowed in confusion, but he picked up his pace, leaving the trophy room behind.

  “You’re gonna love this,” Dregg said, as Pierce caught up with him.

  “What’s on the docket?” Pierce said, keeping his eyes peeled for an orgy ambush.

  “The Crown Jewels, baby. Even a weak lackey like you has a fighting chance with the knowledge you’re about to acquire.”

  “With bated breath, I do await,” Pierce said, sarcastically, expecting yet more hoops to jump through.

  Dregg stopped in the middle of the dark corridor, causing Pierce to bump into him. Despite Pierce being the one moving, he was knocked back by Dregg’s sheer, massive size.

  “You have E.D.?” Dregg asked.

  “What?”

  “Erectile dysfunction.”

  “I know what it means. Why the fuck are you asking me that?”

  “Two reasons. One, you’re gonna need to deliver in the sack if you wanna get ahead in points. Quick boost. Trust me. Especially since you won’t demonstrate that you can fuck. Your best chance for an alliance is with a fierce woman. And if you have E.D., that’s an issue, unless you give great oral, in which case you should still demonstrate your skills. Two, you’re so fucking impatient, it makes me wonder if you’re one of those pathetic premature ejaculators.”

  “I think we’re past my comfort zone. Safeword. We haven’t established a safeword, have we? Need to do that. How about ‘Zanzibar?’ I don’t even remember what that’s from, but it’s easy to remember and easy to recognize. Work for you?”

  “Safeword? No,” Dregg said. “We don’t need safewords. We need you to not be a premature ejaculator. Can you do that for me?”

  “Um,” Pierce said. He tried to think of a witty comeback to make the situation less awkward, but he was at a loss. “Yes.”

  “Yes, you come too soon, or yes, you can stop coming too soon?”

  “Yes,” Pierce said. “Uh, yes, I mean no. I’m not a premature ejaculator. And yes, I can, you know, keep it up. I’m all good down there. No worries.”

  “Heh,” Dregg grunted. “We’ll see. You should have taken me up on my offer to let Beatrice ride you hard like the beast she is. Then we’d know for sure. I don’t even like watching others. I was doing you a favor.”

  Pierce shuddered. “Thanks for that. Really. Much appreciated. You’ve definitely expressed how important sex is. But I’m still good.”

  “Suit yourself. “ With that, Dregg turned back around and co
ntinued drumming his heavy footfalls on the mahogany wooden floor.

  Pierce had to admit, he was intrigued by how such a brute of a man, whose basic intelligence he was beginning to question, had such good taste in home decor and luxurious living. He’d love to know more of Dregg’s life before his hunting trip to Planet Kill.

  The tour down memory lane was going to have to wait, though, as Dregg stopped at a fireplace in the backroom. There were bottles of whiskey worth five thousand credits, the real stuff, not synthetic, on top of the fireplace mantle. Pierce began to wonder if Dregg needed to loosen up to share his next bit of wisdom. But Dregg didn’t bother with the bottles. Instead, he stepped right into the fireplace and disappeared into the flames.

  “Holy fuck!”

  “Don’t be a chicken shit,” Dregg said, from the other side. “First step’s a little slippery, so be careful.”

  Pierce extended his hand, hesitating. Not yet believing. When he got closer, his hand grew hot fast. “Oh fuck no,” Pierce said. “It’s a trick. You’re messing with me again.”

  “I have never messed with you, Premature Ejaculator. The heat is from a vent below the mantle.”

  Pierce leaned in closer and looked underneath. Dregg wasn’t lying. A vent blew hot air downward over the fire.

  Instead of easing in, Pierce decided it was best to jump full body like the first time he went swimming. The flames looked real all the way through, but didn’t hurt a bit.

  He emerged on the other side, filled with adrenaline. “That was actually kinda cool,” he said.

  “You’re easily entertained,” Dregg said, condescending.

  “True, but that was still fun. What’s next?” Pierce asked, as he mocked clapping like a toddler with a new toy.

  Dregg grumbled something rude and led Pierce deeper into the dark, hidden alcove inside the fireplace. The chamber lit up as Dregg set fire, real fire, to a stick with a rag at the end and dipped it in a puddle on the rocky ground. The fire streaked around the room like a snake, covering the floor, the walls, and the ceiling. It revealed the shape of Planet Kill. The whole planet was represented by the fire outline that ran along the oil-filled crevices in the rocks.

  “Wow. You must have really taken a lot of shop classes back in high school. I’ve never seen anything like it,” Pierce said. “Kind of primitive. Kind of raw.”

  “That’s the point,” Dregg said. “To remind me that I have to be primitive to make it.”

  Pierce flashed an uncomfortable smile. “On Planet Kill, right? You’re not about to sacrifice me in some Satanic ritual thingy, are you? Because that would be very uncool.”

  Dregg shook his head in annoyance. “No, you fucking idiot. Just listen.”

  “Sure. And could you stop calling me an idiot?”

  “When you’ve proven that you aren’t one.” Dregg sneered at the continued interruption, but kept going. “You have to think of your battlefield differently from how you would on Earth. There aren’t neat borders and international laws keeping an order to things. The only thing keeping the order is brute strength and power. True human nature at its best. Which is why my map is all around us. So that I remember how territory works there. Look.” He pointed at an empty spot next to Pierce’s right foot.

  “What?” Pierce said. “I see nothing.”

  “That’s not the point. Just look at the ground next to your foot. Now tell me where the border is there.”

  Pierce shrugged. “I don’t know. You haven’t shown me yet.”

  “How did you become an agent?”

  “I’m good at tests and have a nice ass. What can I say…”

  “Much less would be nice,” Dregg said, with derision in his voice. Then he pointed to the ceiling. “Where are the borders up there?”

  Pierce sighed heavily, slightly perturbed at how long this might take. “There,” he said, and pointed at a random spot.

  “That’s actually right. But how did you know that?”

  “I didn’t. It was a guess.”

  “Ugh. You’re not getting it.” Dregg stretched his arm up and touched the fire running along a stream on the ceiling. He relished the burning pain with a sensual hiss. With his eyes half-closed, he seemed like he might go into ecstasy. “This border belongs to a warrior named Letha. It begins here.” Dregg knelt on the rocky ground and shoved his hand deep into the fire. “This is where her border ends. Along the way, there are many other pockets that belong to her. But the land between those areas is hostile territory for her. If you’re lucky enough to battle her, you will learn to take advantage of this. If you don’t learn, you will think that you have her cornered, only to discover that her dagger extends beyond what you thought was her territory and has reached into your back from a piece of land that is only twenty feet wide and twenty feet long. She will have a means to end you from any place that is hers. You can’t think in linear ways, like Earth wars. There are borders and controls and centers of power, but they exist in the true source of strength there. Not in walls or defensible lines. A single person inside your camp can be the end of your army.” Dregg lifted his searing hand out of the burning oil and placed it on Pierce’s shoulder.

  “Ah,” Pierce said, cringing at the heat. “Can you not do that?”

  “Shut up! Do you get what I’m saying to you?”

  “Oh I get it. It just didn’t need to be so overdramatic. It’s like a spy game, but war. An enemy could become a friend. A friend could be an enemy. Keep one eye open while you sleep. I’m familiar with the concept.”

  “That’s a stupid way to put it,” Dregg said. He approached Pierce, puffing out his chest, standing to his full height. “Must you make fun of everything I’m trying to teach you? You do realize I could squash you like a bug in here and no one would ever find you.” As if to prove his point, the huge man walked over to the wall and slammed his fist into it. Rock chips flew everywhere. Dregg hadn’t even flinched.

  Pierce stuttered a little, trying to make up for any potential slight. “It’s amazing really. Beautiful map, and the things you’re telling me about are just incredible. I just needed to translate it for my tiny brain.”

  Dregg perked up at this. “Really?”

  “Really,” Pierce said, trying his best to keep in a burst of sarcastic laughter. “It is very good advice. I think most people would have preferred your phrasing.”

  “Yes, I believe so,” Dregg said. “I am much more eloquent than you and your mindless babbling.” He eyed Pierce hard. “Your mouth would be better used—”

  Pierce cut him off. “Please, Dregg, sir, stop there. I know where you’re going with that. I’ve taken enough of your innuendos for one day. How about we get to the specific players. Other than Letha, of course. She sounds fierce, like a real master in disguise jungle warrior. Can’t wait to meet her. She sounds sexy, too. Power is an aphrodisiac. But what about the others?”

  “You should not wish such things, for if you do meet her during your days on Planet Kill, in all likelihood, you will not be coming back.”

  “Okay, cool. But the others? Are they just as bad?”

  Dregg chuckled. “You won’t last one day. But very well.”

  “Okay, I won’t last one day. You’ve hammered that home,” Pierce said. “But just in case I happen to accidentally make it through to day two…”

  “Don’t cross Fireshot,” Dregg said. “I paid for good intel that he has connections with the Warden. A secret that most other sects aren’t aware of.”

  “Got it,” Pierce said. “Don’t make an enemy out of Fireshot.”

  “I’m serious.”

  “I get it,” Pierce said. “What else should I know?”

  “Grinder is a lone wolf,” Dregg said, with disdain. “She can be useful, but don’t count on it. Have a backup.”

  “‘Lone wolf?’ What kind of name is that?”

  “It’s for volunteers who forgo alliances in favor of the higher point gain from accumulating kills on their own and not having restric
tions on who they kill. She got the name ‘Grinder’ by making the strategy famous and successful.”

  “Anyone else?”

  “Pay attention to the generals,” Dregg said. “Some are trying to move up and will betray their harem leaders for a shot at power. Stay away from the Dark Mark. She’s an assassin for hire. Essentially gets paid twice for the same deaths. Other fighters pay her to take out someone for them. She gets credits from the audience for the victory, too. Brilliant, but deadly.”

  “I’m tracking,” Pierce said. “Any further advice or strategies?”

  “Never trust anyone. Alliances and enemies can shift beneath your feet. Only trust someone who wants something from you. That’s incentive for them not to fuck you up. Try to get a small-time kill in early. You’ll get enough credits to buy a weapon at an upgrade temple. Upgrades are tricky. Don’t waste your resources on the sexy weapons. Get something sneaky and deadly. Other than that, just don’t be yourself. You’re awful, and your personality will get you killed.”

  “Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence.”

  “It was no vote of confidence,” Dregg said. “I’m serious. You should not be you.”

  “Yeah, I got the sarcasm. I was being sarcastic back.”

  “Oh, huh. Well, you’re not funny to me, so I didn’t get it.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Just talk less. Does that work for you?”

  “Yeah, sure. You’re a big help. That’s not a joke. But your way of demeaning me sort of makes me feel less confident that I’ll pull this off.”

  “You won’t.”

  “Right, you’ve said as much. You’ve said I won’t even last a single day.”

  “Good. You’re finally listening.”

  “Wish I weren’t, honestly,” Pierce said. “There’s one more thing I don’t fully understand. I’ve seen the fighters leveling up, gaining experience points, etc. But how can all that be useful outside of it being entertaining for viewers? What does it matter if you have a twenty-five or fifty social influence?”

  “First of all, you’re forgetting that you can have positive and negative stats,” Dregg answered. “It’s mostly for the viewers, but if you play your cards right, you can use it to your advantage. Say you don’t want other fighters to know which group you’re allied with. Maybe they have a beef with each other, but you need to work with them both. Having a higher social standing allows you to choose which partnerships to show to your various allies, and which to keep secret.”