by Unknown
It was something else.
Suddenly there was a scream – then another, and another. The elves were dropping like flies, so fast I couldn’t keep track of where the action was. It was still too dark to see what was happening, so I just stayed where I was and hoped to Satan that the ward could stand up to the attack.
A figure moved out of the shadows and made its way towards me. I squinted, still unable to see who or what it was, until it clicked its fingers and an orb of light rose over the clearing. I frowned. Was that – was it –
“James?” I said.
“What?”
Oh, right, I’d only ever called him that in my head, because he and his girlfriend had always reminded me of Jessie and James, the villains from Pokémon. Speaking of his girlfriend…
“Oh,” I said. “I guess I know why you’re here.”
That explained what had happened to the ice elves – faeries were known to be pretty tasty (to vampires, that is – I’d never sampled one myself), with elves being at the top of the ‘gourmet delicacy’ scale. He must have drained Santa’s whole army.
He’d changed since last time I’d seen him, which was just a matter of days ago. I wondered what kind of magic he’d been into in the meantime. Something heavy, clearly. Vampires were obviously creatures of the dark, but they weren’t usually vortexes, pulling in all the light around them. Not even magician vamps like James (or whatever his name was). Maybe he’d bound his soul to a demon or something – I’d have to ask Satan sometime. Well, you know, if I didn’t die in the next 10 minutes.
“Yes,” he said. “I want you to put her back!”
That was an odd thing to say. “What do you mean? I didn’t steal her.”
“I want you to fix her!”
“How am I meant to do that? I’m not a necromancer.”
He bared his fangs at me menacingly. “Make her better.”
“Dude, seriously, I would if I could. Sometimes in life these things happen,” I said. “You need to learn to let go.”
“I want her back the way she was!”
“What did you do to her?” Henry whispered. Of course, he didn’t remember what had happened. Hey, I was there and I didn’t even know exactly what had happened. She’d just bitten me and then started frothing at the mouth. I’d run away, not wanting to hang around and see the results.
“Um…”
“Just do it!” the vampire screamed at me.
“You’re an odd choice of spokesperson for Nike,” I said. That turned out to be a mistake, because within half a second he’d broken through the ward (thanks to Henry’s half now being totally useless) and had his hand around my neck, crushing my windpipe.
“You’re defenceless against me,” he said through gritted teeth. “Do as I say, or –”
I didn’t wait to find out where that ‘or’ was leading. Moving my hand up between us, I sent a burst of purple energy at his chest, throwing him back several metres. He hit a tree and flopped to the ground. An expression of disbelief spread across his face.
“You’re not Light!” he hissed, looking furious.
“You know it’s impolite to comment on somebody’s weight,” I replied. Sure, in hindsight, maybe that wasn’t the best time to be quipping. He wasn’t here for the banter.
“A creature of the light, you idiot,” he spat. “You’re Dark?”
“Oh, right. Um, kind of, it’s all a bit –”
“I don’t care! I’m going to tear you apart.”
He stood and moved towards me in a blur. I got ready to shoot another beam of energy at him, but before I could act something tore through the forest and tackled him from the side. The two figures moved so quickly around the clearing that my eyes couldn’t keep up with them. There were thumps and thuds as flesh connected with trees, the ground, fists – they were really going at it. Suddenly one of the figures – not James – landed in front of me and I squealed in shock.
The figure had its back to me as it crouched down, growling at James, who was now looking a little worse for wear. Apparently even his demon-strength (or whatever it was) wasn’t a match for the new player. There was even a trickle of blood coming from his nose. (Vampires bled? Who knew?) James looked like he was considering fighting some more, but he was obviously losing and seemed to think better of it. He turned and stalked away. The darkness withdrew with him.
“I’ll get you next time!” he shouted back over his shoulder.
“No, you won’t,” said the figure in front of me. She turned to face me and I gulped.
It was Jessie.
I inadvertently put my hand to my throat and felt the wound her fangs had left a few short days ago. (Wait, I still hadn’t figured out if I was going to get vampatitis from that… I should really go and see a witch doctor when I get back to Australia, just in case.) Her eyes watched my hand go to my throat and I realised it was kind of insensitive of me to draw attention to it, so I dropped my arms back to my side.
What was she doing here? What was she doing alive for that matter? I gulped, then panicked that I might be drawing attention to my neck again, then gulped once more. Jessie stood there smiling pleasantly. Was she going to attack me? Snap my neck? Rip me apart? Had she just defended me from James so she could have the pleasure of killing me herself?
She opened her mouth to speak and I found myself inadvertently eyeing her fangs.
“I wanted to thank you,” she said.
Wait, what? “Huh?”
“Thank you.” When I didn’t respond, she frowned. “For curing me.”
“I, uh – you’re welcome?”
“I’m Honey, by the way,” she said, extending her hand. I shook it warily. “Sorry about Pierre. He – he hasn’t taken it that well. My rebirth.”
Her what now?!
“Um, sorry Honey,” I said. “But do you think you could elaborate?”
“Well, now that you’ve cured me –”
“Cured you?”
She frowned in confusion. “Of the thirst.”
“Oh, right. Of course.” I’d cured a vampire of the thirst for blood? Was I understanding this conversation correctly?
“She cured your thirst for blood?” said Henry in a strangled voice as he struggled back to his feet. “How the hell did she manage that?”
Honey was getting more and more confused by the second. “But you were there!” She turned to me. “He was there, right?”
“His memory’s been playing up a bit lately,” I explained.
“What do you mean it’s –” He stopped, his eye widening as realisation dawned on him. “You clouded me! I’ve seen you use that magic before, and you erased it from my memory!”
“Well, technically Ed erased it from your memory.”
“He did what? Of course… He wants you on his side. He must know about the King…”
“You know about the King? Tell me!”
Henry seemed to realise what he was saying and coughed. “Um, I think we’re talking about Honey now. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “We’ll discuss this later.”
“Oh, yes, we will. At length.”
Gulp. “Anyway, Honey,” I said, turning back to the vampire. “I – um, thank you for helping me.”
She smiled. “It’s the least I can do. You’ve given me another chance at life. To be able to walk in the sun again…”
“You can withstand daylight?” Henry asked, dumbfounded.
She nodded. “I know. Miraculous,” she said. “I’ve suspected Pierre might try to hurt you since – uh, the incident, so I’ve been following him. When he tracked you across the globe I knew something was up. I know it’s none of my business, but what are you guys doing here? It’s hardly safe. If Pierre hadn’t eaten them all, those elves might have hurt you.”
“We’re killing Santa,” I explained. Honey nodded as if that were the most normal thing in the world.
“Well, watch your back. I would offer to hang around and help, bu
t I think I’d better go after Pierre – I’m worried he might go after your faery friend next.”
Eek – the idea of that creep getting to Daisy gave me the heebie-jeebies.
“Right, yeah. Of course,” I said. “Thanks again!”
“No worries!” she called over her shoulder as she hurried off.
I turned to Henry, expecting a thorough talking-to, but he just gave me a smile. “Guess we’d better repair the tent,” he said, raising his hands.
“Oh, I’ll help,” I said, about to join in, but he stopped me.
“No, no – I’ve got more experience with this stuff. We don’t want to be left without somewhere to sleep.”
I shrugged. Maybe he was worried I’d incinerate it with my crazy powers. Henry repaired the charred holes left by the arrows quickly and threw up some wards around the camp, again refusing my help. What was going on? Was he worried about my kind of magic, seeing as it wasn’t light like his? Didn’t he trust me?
We moved back inside the tent and warmed ourselves in front of the fire jar. I waited for Henry to speak first.
“That was amazing,” he said finally.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “I can’t believe –”
“That I took on all those elves by myself? I know – I don’t know how I did it. I just… Wow. I never knew I had that in me.”
… Pardon?
What the hell was going on? I didn’t think Ed’s spells would work anymore – I was pretty sure he’d been clouding everyone as he went along, every time a new incident occurred – but it seemed like I might be wrong. Maybe he’d clouded my magic permanently… Did that mean that Henry would never be able to remember if he saw me do magic? If so, then this quest might end a little more easily than I’d thought it would.
Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice Henry closing the gap between us.
“You’re right, you know. I think I’ve been too uptight. We could die at any moment – why am I wasting my time worrying about everything?”
“Well, I’m glad you’re starting to come around to my way of thinking,” I answered.
“I want to show you something,” he said. He closed his eyes and shifted – and suddenly a thirty-something human in a suit stood in front of me, wearing Henry’s gold-rimmed glasses.
“Oh my god, Henry…” I whispered. He’d shown me his human form – and he wasn’t bad looking, either. He stepped closer to me; so close that our torsos were brushing against each other.
“Um, Henry, what are you doing?”
“Learning to live a little,” he said, leaning in closer. I closed my eyes and leaned into him.
Our lips touched.
Chapter Six
Oh, wow. Uptight Henry was really letting go tonight. He kissed me and I kissed him right back. Wowzers – suddenly I wasn’t sure that we needed that fire in a jar, because things seemed to be getting a little warm in here. I could hear a song playing in my head, just like in a movie. Then I heard the record stop, just like in a film. Wait, no, that wasn’t a record scratch – that was a zip. Not one of the fun unzipping noises that you’d want to hear in this situation, though: it was the zip of the tent’s door. I opened my eyes to see what the noise was – and screamed.
“Henry! You can not transform into a gorilla when you’re midway through making out with someone!” I shrieked in disgust.
His mouth dropped open – he was clearly offended by my reaction. “Well, if you can’t handle me at my gorilla then you don’t deserve me at my human!”
Remembering the reason we’d broken apart in the first place, I whipped my head to the door of the tent, where Death stood, poking his head in and watching the scene before him with a smirk on his face.
“Wow,” he said. “Looks like the quest is going well. There are about a hundred dead elves out there, too. Looks like they were drained –”
“Drained of all their energy and then lost the fight against Henry, yes,” I said, butting in before Death could reveal anything that Henry didn’t know. Death, who was stepping in through the door, caught on quickly.
“Mmm, yes. Exactly.”
“Nice of you to show up,” I said, keen to change the subject. “After you left us in the middle of nowhere – alone –”
“Looks like you two have made good use of that alone time, though.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “The point is, you’re just waltzing in here now that all the work is done and you’re going to claim all the glory.”
He smiled. “Yep. I am. And you know what? You’re going to have to get used to that. Death always wins.”
“Of course. How could I forget? So nice of you to tell us everything you knew about Santa before skiving off like that, too. Very helpful.”
“You figured it out, though, right? And besides, this is your licence we’re talking about. I can’t give you too much to work with. You have to do some of the quest yourself.” He leaned in closer. “Though when I say ‘do the quest’, I don’t mean ‘do the examiner’.”
I felt myself blush. “Shut up. Actually, you know what – why don’t you just leave? You’re no help anyway.”
Death patted me on the head, which did nothing to calm me down. “Now, now, Nessa. There’s no need to be like that. Besides, I brought whiskey!”
Judging by the fact that Death took a step back when he caught my facial expression, I’d guess that my face was portraying pretty accurately how I felt about whiskey.
He turned to Henry. “Henners? Surely you’ll join me. Looks like you could use it, after fighting so hard, and then having Nessa treat you like that.”
I looked at him in disgusted disbelief. Was he seriously making me out to be the bad guy in this situation?
“Sure,” said Henry, shooting me a pointed look. “I could use a little.”
“You could use a lot, it seems to me,” said Death, handing Henry the bottle. “Living life on the edge like you are.”
Henry looked down at the bottle. “No glasses?”
Death shook his head. “Afraid not. You’re going to have to YOLO it.”
“You did not just use YOLO as a verb,” I said in disgust.
“Why don’t you live a little?” Henry spat at me, taking a huge swig of the whiskey and cringing as he forced it down.
“Maybe I was wrong,” I said, eyeing Henry with concern. “Maybe you should live a little less.”
“Go away!”
I sighed, picked up the fire and walked outside, leaving Death and Henry to it – I didn’t want to join their depressing little party. I sat outside, within the boundaries of the ward (of course). My bum was getting wet from the melting snow, but I wasn’t all that keen on heading back inside and watching the others get drunk. I needed to think.
What had I done to Honey? Had I really cured a vampire? Surely not – she was still lightning fast, and even stronger than James/Pierre. But if she didn’t need to drink blood and she didn’t burn to death in sunlight, what did that make her?
And perhaps more importantly, what had happened to Henry’s memory? Ed had clouded Henry during my last quest, although I wasn’t exactly sure why. Maybe so the others wouldn’t stop the quest or arrest me before I found the Doomstone. Maybe he just didn’t want the others to know what I was for sure because he wanted me on his side. I wasn’t sure, and short of asking Ed himself, I didn’t know how to find out.
A noise to my right startled me. It was like the sound of a pebble hitting glass – a kind of gentle ting. Something had hit the ward. I looked around, trying to see if there was something out there in the darkness, when a second ting rang out. I stood. Were we under siege? If so, they were giving kind of a soft start. I walked towards the edge of the ward in the direction of the noise, and out of the shadows stepped a gently glowing figure.
Ed.
With a sharp intake of breath, I took a step backwards.
Ed rolled his eyes at me. “What – are you scared of me now?”
“No,” I replied, a little too quickly. �
��I just… I wasn’t expecting…”
“I wanted to talk,” he said. “I didn’t like the way we left things – although I have to say, I’m a little offended that you’ve moved on so quickly.”
“I – what?”
“And after Henry had so obviously just been clouded, you let him believe a lie and made out with him.” He shook his head, tutting. “You’re heartless. I know you want this licence pretty bad, but still –”
“How do you know about – about –”
“About you making out with a Department official? I saw you – just after I clouded Henry.” He gestured to the translucent wall of the ward in front of him. “You actually thought that ward would keep me out?”
Oh, great. Henry’s ward couldn’t even keep Ed the Ghostly Murderer and General Bad Guy at bay. “Then what was that noise a second ago? I thought it was you trying to get in.”
“I was just trying to get your attention. I didn’t want to scare you by” – he stepped through the ward with no resistance – “doing this.”
“How considerate of you.” On the outside I tried to remain calm, but my heart was racing. OK, so Ed had broken through the ward. I didn’t think he would do anything to hurt me. Did my purple magic work on ghosts? If my blood cured vampires then anything was possible. Maybe I could bring him back to life. That was a thought – then I’d be able to kill him myself. “What do you want?” I demanded.
“I want you to come with me and talk to Santa.”
I stared at him in disbelief. “Good one. You nearly had me. Please go now.”
“I’m serious,” he said, taking a step towards me.
I sighed. “You want me to talk to Santa before I kill him.”
Ed nodded. “It seems insane, I get it, but I think he might be able to tell you about yourself.”
Now he had my attention. “Why can’t you tell me yourself?”
“I don’t know as much as he does, and he won’t talk to me. He wants to speak to you directly. He won’t hurt you. Not that anyone could,” he said with a shrug.