When Smiles Fade

by Paige Dearth

  Over the next three weeks, Ethan called out of work eight more times. It was getting colder, and soon he would be laid off for the winter. Emma was worried that his inability to show up for work would get him fired and, come spring, he wouldn’t have a job to go back to. She earned a good living, but they had made a deal to split the expenses. Emma expected him to keep his part of the bargain. She had already paid part of his share of the expenses because of the days he’d missed work.

  They still hadn’t made love. However, they’d engaged in oral sex, but Emma was holding him off for a special moment.

  Katie pressured Emma to get on with it. “Have sex with him already, Em,” she urged. “I mean, for fuck’s sake, you’ve been living together for over three weeks! It’s fucking weird!”

  Emma knew her friend was right. She made it a point to plan something special for Ethan and her. She was off from work the following Wednesday night and arranged for Gracie to sleep over at Katie’s so that she and Ethan could be alone. When he came home from work that night, she had a bath waiting for him. She met him at the door and kissed him softly. She peeled off his clothes slowly, one piece at a time. By the time they reached the bathroom, he was only wearing his socks.

  Emma guided him into the warm bath and washed his back first, then his chest, as he lay back against the tub, his lower body submerged in the water, looking up at her with lust. She could see that he was aroused. Ethan stood and wrapped himself in a towel. Then taking Emma by the hand, he led her into their bedroom. He took off her shirt and unzipped her jeans, revealing her young, beautiful flesh. When she stood before him naked, he moved to the bed and told her to stand where she was. Lying down on the bed, he asked her to turn around. Feeling silly, she spun around quickly.

  “No,” he said, “slow down. I want you to turn slowly so that I can see every inch of you.”

  Emma turned slowly, just as he wanted her to, then walked over to the bed and got in next to him. Ethan ran his hands through her long, silky hair and began kissing her deeply. They were both panting and he explored her body, touching her very softly. It was almost as if his fingers were feathers as they glided over her breasts, down her abdomen, and to her inner thighs. His hands lingered a long time in the area between her legs, almost going inside of her, but stopping just short of giving her what she wanted and making her long for him more intensely. Finally, unable to hold back any longer, he entered her, and they moved in perfect harmony together. When they were done, she laid her head on his chest, deeply grateful that she had met him. Maybe Mrs. Tisdale sent him to me, she thought.

  But it was more likely that Pepper had sent Ethan to her.

  Chapter Forty-Six

  By the time November rolled around, the threesome had been living together for just over two months. With the winter season upon them, the cold weather had brought an end to Ethan’s landscaping services. By mid-November, he had stopped working altogether. He stayed at the apartment and collected an unemployment check while focusing all of his energy on Emma and Gracie.

  If there was one thing Emma didn’t approve of, it was his habitual messiness. Now that he was home all day, the apartment seemed in constant disarray, as though she had just moved in or would be moving out soon. Just looking at the apartment, whenever she returned home from work made her feel strangely unsettled.

  Emma had been raised with an iron fist and the only good she acknowledged that had come of it was her habit of keeping her apartment spotless and everything in impeccable order.

  After several weeks of seeing dirty dishes pile up in the sink and complete disorder taking over the apartment, Emma finally lost her temper with her boyfriend.

  “Ethan, I’m not your mother,” she said, exasperated. “You’re here all day. So I would appreciate it if you would take care of your mess.”

  Ethan was indignant at her tone. “You’re right,” he retorted, “you’re not my mother. So quit nagging me, Em. While you’re out all night, dancing for other men, I’m home taking care of Gracie.”

  Emma told him firmly, “Gracie is fourteen years old, Ethan. It’s a stretch to claim that you’re ‘taking care’ of her. She’s perfectly capable of taking care of herself. As for ‘dancing for other men,’ you probably need to be reminded that I’m out making money that way. And if it weren’t for the money I earned, we wouldn’t be able to afford living here. Your unemployment check certainly can’t pay all the bills.”

  His ego in tatters, Ethan grew more incensed by the minute. Finally he strode to the sink, where Emma was washing the dirty dishes he had left the night before, and shoved her aside.

  “Fine, Emma!” he snapped in a show of temper. “I can wash my own dishes.”

  Stunned that Ethan had pushed her aside so roughly, Emma left the kitchen and went into their bedroom for some much-needed sleep. When she woke up late in the afternoon, she found that he had cleaned the whole apartment. She recalled how mean she had been to him and guilt overwhelmed her. She went to look for him and found him sitting at the kitchen table alone while Gracie sat on the sofa watching television.

  “I’m sorry, Ethan,” she said remorsefully, “it’s just that I’m working long hours and I’m exhausted when I come home. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you that way, but I want our home to look nice and be taken care of.”

  Ethan pretended as if she hadn’t said a word, even refusing to acknowledge her presence with a glance.

  “So are you just going to pretend that I’m not talking to you?” Emma persisted.

  Gracie had a feeling of impending doom as the atmosphere of silent tension finally exploded in an argument. She got up and left the living room, taking refuge in her bedroom so that Emma and Ethan could say what they wanted to each other without her being a part of the argument.

  Gracie had been praying that Emma would stop wanting Ethan to live with them and she was hoping that her prayers were being answered now. In fact, she had started hating her sister’s boyfriend within the first month of his moving into their apartment. She desperately wanted him to move out and was momentarily elated when Emma took exception to his sloppy ways. Although she hated the slob that Ethan had turned out to be as much as her sister did, when it came to doing something constructive about it, she had fallen back on her old habit of leaving Emma to do battle. From the temporary sanctuary of her bedroom, Gracie could hear the two of them fighting. She sat on her bed, tense with anticipation, willing Emma to tell Ethan to move out of the apartment.

  Meanwhile, in the living room, tempers flared as the argument raged between them and the couple flung words at each other that were loaded with venom. After a while, Emma retreated into a cold silence, refusing to engage with him. Ethan watched her moving around the kitchen making dinner for herself before getting ready to go to work.

  Realizing that she wouldn’t play his game, he walked over to her and said contritely, “I’m sorry, Em. You know how much I love you, right?” Then he nuzzled her, hoping to soften her stance.

  At first, Emma refused to respond to his attempt to make up, her anger making her rigid in his embrace. But as the moments passed, she allowed herself to be appeased somewhat and leaned back against him, relaxing in his arms. Deep down, though, she was still annoyed, and the feeling persisted even as she left for work that night and drove down to Doubles. Her mind lingered on the issue that had triggered her first serious spat with Ethan and she now questioned her decision of allowing him to move in with them. Did I make a mistake by agreeing to live with him, she asked herself. She wondered if she really loved him as much as she had imagined and if it was time for him to move out.

  When she got home from work early the next morning, however, Ethan was waiting for her.

  “Well, it’s about time you got home. I worry about you, Em,” he said, giving her a tender hug.

  Exhausted, she ignored his comment and headed for the bedroom. Ethan followed. When she was taking off her work clothes to get into her pajamas, he came up behind her and wrapped h
is arms around her.

  “I’ve missed you so much,” he crooned in her ear.

  As he began to touch her body, she pulled away from him.

  “Come on, Ethan,” she said impatiently. “Not now. I’m so tired.”

  “Fine!” he grunted, pushing her away from him and toward the bed. “I sit and worry about you all night. And then when you finally come home, you just blow me off.”

  Too numb from exhaustion to get into another argument, Emma pulled him down on the bed next to her and slowly began to seduce him. When they made love that morning, Ethan wasn’t too concerned about satisfying her. It was all about him. When they were fully undressed, he entered her swiftly, blew his load, turned away from her, and went to sleep.

  You selfish little prick, she thought, lying awake for a long time before sleep took over and she fell into a dreamless state.

  By the time she woke up, Gracie and Ethan were both out. Emma wondered where he had gone. Maybe he was at the grocery store. She looked out the window and saw that he had taken her car. Deciding to count her earnings from the previous night, she reached for her purse. The wad of money she’d stuffed inside was missing. Panicking, she dumped the contents of her purse on the kitchen table. Yes, the money was gone. Fuck, fuck, fuck, she thought, someone ripped me off before I left Doubles! She sat down with a thump, anger and despair taking hold of her.

  At that moment, Ethan came home. “What’s wrong with you?” he asked, looking at her shattered expression.

  “I put my fucking tips in my purse and they’re missing!”

  “Oh, I took them,” he told her casually. “I thought it was risky for you to be carrying all that money around.”

  “Give it back to me!” she screamed in a rage, striding forward with her hand extended. “Don’t you ever take money from me!”

  Ethan reached into his pocket and gave her back the money. His mind was churning with possibilities as he considered how he could better control this living arrangement he had chosen for himself. He realized that Emma was a strong woman and couldn’t be manipulated as easily as his last girlfriend. Deliberately softening his tone, he tried to free himself from the awkward position he had landed in.

  “I took the money to protect you,” he began. “I don’t want you carrying all that money around. You’re an easy target. In fact, I was thinking that I could start driving you back and forth to work. I don’t like this shit, where you’re out late at night by yourself. I’m just worried that something will happen to you.”

  Emma was still angry at him, but she looked at Ethan with a little more sympathy now. She never had anyone actually worry about her before and the thought that he was concerned softened her heart. While she didn’t like the fact that he had opened her purse without her knowledge and taken her hard-earned money, she decided that his intention had been sincere and that she should overlook his mistake.

  Ethan followed her into the bedroom and they made love. When it was over, Emma lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling. She was still conflicted about living with him. One week, she thought. She would give herself one week to decide if she would tell him to move out.

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  The next evening, Emma made the mistake of allowing Ethan to drive her to Doubles.

  “I’ll be waiting out here at two-fifteen to pick you up,” he reminded her.

  As if she could possibly forget. Emma didn’t feel right about him driving her to work and back every evening, but thought if he saw for himself that it was no big deal and she wasn’t in harm’s way, he would chill out and stop wanting to chauffeur her back and forth.

  Once in the bar, she said hello to Foster. He could tell by her body language that something was bothering her, but ignored his instinct to ask her any questions. Emma shared what she wanted to, but for the most part, she was guarded about her private life.

  As she went on stage to dance that night, Emma released all of her pent-up emotions from the past twenty-four hours. Then she noticed a new face in the crowd, a man who seemed content simply watching every move she made, never once looking over to the beautiful Asian woman on the stage next to hers.

  He had been looking at her all night, and he found her long blond hair almost as lovely as her long, lean body. He liked everything about her. When she came around the bar to collect her tips, he looked into her sparkling green eyes and was bowled over by her exquisite beauty.

  Emma had been taking in the stranger’s appearance without making it obvious. He was tall, with dark-brown hair and eyes the color of honey. His olive skin revealed his Italian heritage. The stranger beamed as she bent over to collect his dollar. After he had slipped his tip between her breasts, Emma took it out and saw that it was a twenty-dollar bill.

  “How about a lap dance?” he asked.

  “Sure,” she said. “Let me finish going around the bar and I’ll take you back.”

  After she was done, Emma went over to the stranger again. When he stood up to follow her, she did not fail to notice his perfectly tailored suit and knew his tip for the performance to come would be more than generous. She led the stranger back to the lap-dance room.

  As she climbed onto his lap, he thought he would lose his mind. To look at her was a pleasurable experience, but to share the same space and be touched by her aroused incredibly erotic feelings within him. He had seen and been with many beautiful women, but this girl they called Amme was magnificent. More beautiful than any other woman he’d ever seen. He was utterly captivated by her.

  When the song ended and she got off his lap, he sat with his eyes closed for a long time.

  “You all right?” she asked without much concern.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” he replied, trying to get a grip on his hormones. “By the way, my name is Salvatore,” he said, extending his hand to her.

  She shook his hand firmly. “I’m Amme. Nice to meet you, Salvatore.”

  Emma stood looking down at him. He realized she was waiting for a tip. He reached into his pocket and handed her a hundred-dollar bill. Emma was pleasantly surprised, and knowing immediately that she didn’t want to lose him as a customer, she hurried to make small talk.

  “I’ve never seen you in here before. You on a business trip?” she said, trying to engage him in conversation.

  Salvatore laughed. “No, I live in Philly and have been meaning to come and check this place out. I finally made it out here tonight. I’m glad I did.”

  “Good. Then I’ll see you here again?” Emma asked, eagerly thinking of the hundred-dollar bill she had tucked away in her palm.

  “You can bet on it!” he told her.

  At two in the morning, she put her street clothes back on to go outside, where Ethan was waiting for her. She put her tips into her purse, except for the hundred-dollar bill, which she tucked inside her shoe. She was wary of Ethan prying into her purse again and taking her money. As she got into the car, she could tell by his bad-tempered greeting that he was in a foul mood.

  “I’ve been watching these assholes come out of the bar,” he said sullenly. “It bothers me that they are all getting to look at you while you’re practically naked. I want you to promise me that you’ll never cheat on me.”

  “Oh, Ethan, of course I won’t cheat on you!” Emma reassured him. “I love you. By the way, these ‘assholes’ you’re talking about are completely harmless. It’s just business.” She leaned over to kiss him.

  At first he responded to her kiss, but then he bit into her lower lip.

  “Ouch!” Emma yelled, reacting to the pain. “What the fuck!? Ethan, that hurt!” she could taste the blood from the split in her lip.

  “Fuck, Emma!” he yelled. “It just makes me crazy to think about you dancing for these guys. I feel like I’m sharing you with other men and I don’t like it one fucking bit.”

  “Well, you’re not sharing me with other men,” Emma said firmly. “And by thinking this way, you’re making everything difficult. You knew I was a stripper before you mov
ed in with us. Now all of a sudden it’s an issue. I’m beginning to think that maybe our decision to move in together wasn’t such a good idea after all!”

  Ethan was shocked into silence. He didn’t want to lose his golden goose. For the first time in his adult life, he had found a way of doing what he wanted without having to work for it. He liked hanging out during the day. He enjoyed his new lifestyle and was sure that he would eventually transform Emma into the woman he wanted her to be.

  “I know, I know,” he soothed, trying to pacify her. “You’re right, Em. I’m acting like an asshole. I want us to make a life together. Maybe even get married someday and have kids. Please don’t give up on me so easily. It’s just that you are so beautiful and I worry that you’ll find someone else.”

  Emma almost felt sorry for him again, but then thought better of it. If Ethan wanted to live with her and Gracie, he would have to accept things the way they were. She wasn’t going to change for him or for anyone else.

  She finally said, “Okay, Ethan, but you need to pull yourself together. If we’re going to make this work, I can’t have you acting like a jealous boyfriend. I’m not going to cheat on you. So stop worrying. Deal?”

  “Deal,” he agreed, without meaning it.

  His jealousy would always get the better of him. It probably had a lot to do with the insecurity that had been a part of his nature since his father had left them after catching his whore mother cheating on him. Because of what his mother had done to his father, Ethan put very little value on women.