Here's to Friends

by Melody Carlson

  They had hugged, and Lisa had cried and said she did forgive Janie. And they had talked until Lisa was so exhausted that she wanted to take a nap. But after about an hour, Lisa was up and prowling around the house in a way that made Janie nervous. When she’d asked Lisa if she was looking for something, Lisa claimed she just wanted to walk to town.

  “I just need some fresh air,” she told Janie.

  “Why don’t we walk together?” Janie offered. “I could use some fresh air too.”

  “No. I need some time to myself,” Lisa insisted. “I’m not used to all this hovering.”

  So Janie agreed, although secretly she planned to follow Lisa. But then Lisa casually asked for money, and when Janie questioned why, Lisa seemed sincerely hurt that Janie didn’t trust her.

  “Just twenty bucks,” Lisa pleaded. “Surely you can spare that.”

  Janie had tried to tell her it wasn’t about the money, but Lisa, being an expert in smoke screening, refused to budge from the accusation that her mother was a selfish tightwad and a few other choice labels that Janie felt shocked to hear come out of her daughter’s pretty mouth.

  As Janie sat in the living room, she found it difficult to believe that the angry young woman in the guest room had once been her sweet, tenderhearted little girl, and that they used to have such good times together. Janie even remembered times when all four of them—Phil, Matthew, Lisa, and Janie—had been out doing something, and people would look and sometimes comment on what a nice family they were. What had happened? And where could she go to undo it?

  Janie had been trying to avoid the rehab conversation, at least until after the holidays were behind them. Mostly she just wanted to show Lisa how much she loved her, accepted her, and was glad to have her back in her life. So many times before, Janie had brought up rehab and Lisa had flown into a rage, claiming she didn’t have a problem and accusing Janie of always thinking the worst of her. But perhaps the time had come to gently bring it up.

  The attorney side of her brain said to do it and get it over with. The mother side of her brain was frightened. She didn’t want to lose Lisa again. Finally, she decided to call Victor and see if he had any words of wisdom. So far, he’d been a rock regarding Lisa. Despite Lisa’s chilly treatment toward him, Victor hadn’t spoken one bad word against Lisa. Janie knew she could trust him. “I’d like to do an intervention,” Janie quietly told him. She was standing outside in the front yard, afraid that Lisa might eavesdrop in the house and equally afraid that Lisa might sneak out and disappear altogether.

  “An intervention with just you and Lisa?”

  “I guess so.”

  “I don’t know much about interventions, but wouldn’t it be helpful to have a group?”

  “Maybe so. Except that Lisa doesn’t really have family or friends here.”

  “You have your friends, Janie. As much as we all love you, Lisa should be able to see that we care for her, too.”

  Janie told him a bit about lunch. “It was weird. I mean Lisa and Nicole couldn’t be more different. And Lisa’s a few years older than Nicole. But in a strange way they kind of hit it off. I think Abby was even surprised.” Janie laughed uncomfortably. “Probably worried, too.”

  “Worried?”

  “Oh, you know, that Lisa might corrupt Nicole.”

  “I seriously doubt that.”

  “Don’t be too sure.”

  “Well, I’m not afraid to bring Ben over there. I’m sure he’d be willing. In fact, Ben had a buddy who went to rehab a couple years ago. Ben might even have a good perspective on it.”

  “If we did something like this, it would have to come across as really positive, I think. I mean Lisa is so negative and down on herself. So often she thinks her life is useless and wasted. We need to remind her that she’s worth rescuing.”

  “Absolutely. Knowing how Lisa feels about me, I’d be fine staying in the background.”

  “That might be good. I do think Lisa respects some of my friends. She and Caroline hit it off. And I noticed her talking to Sylvia’s daughter, Leah, at the Christmas party and—” Janie stopped herself as she spotted Lisa furtively emerging from the front door. “Oh, dear. I may have to do an intervention right now.”

  “What’s going—” Victor began to ask.

  “She seems to be making a fast break. I’ll see what I can do to encourage her to stick around—long enough to hear what I’d like her to do, anyway.”

  “I’ll see who I can round up to back you up.”

  “Thanks.” She shut off her phone and slowly walked toward Lisa. “Hey,” Janie said in a friendly tone. “Still want to take that walk?”

  Lisa scowled. “No. I just want a cigarette.”

  “Oh.” Janie nodded. “Where is it?”

  “What?”

  “Your cigarette.”

  “I’m out.”

  “Oh.” Janie didn’t like that Lisa smoked. But cigarettes seemed minor in comparison to illegal drugs. “Want to go get some more?”

  Lisa brightened. “Sure.”

  Before Lisa could suggest Janie give her money, Janie just started walking. “There’s a market not far from here,” she explained. “I’m sure they have cigarettes. Maybe we can get some pop and junk food too. For some reason I’m craving chips and chocolate.” Lisa cast a suspicious glance her way, but Janie just kept on rambling. She felt like she was running on nerves as she walked and talked about the slumber party they’d had for Abby and how they’d eaten junk food and watched old movies. She talked nonstop until they were at the little convenience store.

  Then they went in, and she and Lisa picked out all kinds of crazy stuff like canned cheese and Fritos and Blow Pops and Cheetos and Twizzlers and canned bean dip—the kinds of foods that Janie had given up back in college—and she even let Lisa buy a whole carton of cigarettes, which was surprisingly expensive. Because she didn’t want Lisa to see how much cash she had, Janie used her debit card to pay for the purchase.

  “It’s getting cold again,” Janie said as they went back outside. She waited while Lisa opened the carton, removed a pack of cigarettes, shook one out, and, with jittery fingers, lit it. Lisa closed her eyes and took a long slow pull on the cigarette, like she thought it was going to make up for whatever substance of choice she was missing. Maybe it was. Janie had read that chemicals like nicotine, caffeine, sugar, and salt were sometimes used as replacements for illegal substances.

  “I guess we should’ve worn warmer jackets,” Janie said as they started to walk again. On the return trip she talked about weather, asking Lisa if she remembered the times they’d all gone to the mountains together, and the first time Lisa and Matthew had snowboarded. Lisa smoked and Janie talked. She told Lisa about Matthew’s new girlfriend and how they were snowboarding. “Actually, they’re probably finished for the day.” She looked at her watch. “Good grief, it’s past seven o’clock on the east coast.”

  To her relief, they were soon back home again. Even better, Victor wasn’t there yet. Although Janie did want him to come, she really hoped that he wouldn’t arrive until she had Lisa safely back inside the house. Not that she could forcibly keep Lisa there. Janie continued to chatter at Lisa, hoping to hide her impatience as they stood on the front porch and she waited for Lisa to finish her fourth cigarette. “Let’s go get warmed up,” Janie said as she flung open the door.

  Soon their odd assortment of purchases was splayed across the kitchen counters like a convenience store had exploded. Lisa began ripping into the bags and boxes, sampling as if she hadn’t eaten in days. Janie hoped this substitute for drugs might have a placebo effect or at least calm Lisa enough to listen to reason and buy them some time. Janie prayed silently as she made a pot of strong coffee.

  While Lisa visited the bathroom, Caroline arrived. Janie was so glad to see her that she threw her arms aro
und her and pulled her inside. “Come in, come in. Welcome to the crazy house.”

  “Victor called,” Caroline said quietly. “And Mitch is in the car, if you want him to join—”

  “Not yet,” Janie decided. “But it’s perfect that you’re here. I need you.”

  “Abby and Nicole are on their way. And Marley and Doris, too.”

  “Doris is coming?” For some reason it touched Janie to think that Abby’s mother would care enough to come.

  “Hey, Lisa,” Caroline said casually as Lisa joined them in the kitchen.

  “What’re you doing here?” Lisa grabbed a handful of cheese puffs.

  “I thought I’d crash your junk-food fest.” Caroline picked up the box of Twinkies. “My favorite, by the way.”

  “Help yourself,” Lisa told her. “We can all get sick together.”

  “I’ve got coffee brewing,” Janie said.

  Lisa didn’t even seem suspicious when Abby and Nicole showed up. They claimed they were in the neighborhood, saw Caroline’s car, and decided to pop in. “It’s like a party,” Abby said as she poured herself some coffee. Then when Doris and Marley arrived, Janie offered to order pizza for everyone. It wasn’t until Victor and Ben arrived, bringing Mitch in with them, that Lisa seemed a little curious.

  “Did you invite them?” she asked Janie.

  “I think this is just serendipitous.” Janie made what she hoped was a believable smile. “Maybe it’s a pre–New Year’s Eve party. Anyway, let’s just go with it.”

  They were all in the living room, sitting in a circle like it was going to be a real intervention. Janie worried. What if Lisa got angry and decided to bolt? Janie exchanged glances with Victor, and he tipped his head in a very subtle nod, as if to say, Go for it.

  Janie stood, and out of habit, from years of playing the attorney, she went into her legal mode. “Thank you all for coming here tonight,” she told the group. “I know that reason you’re all here is because you’re my friends and you care about me. And on the same token, you care about my daughter.” She looked at Lisa. “We are here because we love you, Lisa. And we want to talk to you about your life and about how—”

  “What is this?” Lisa’s eyes narrowed.

  “It’s our way of telling you we care about you,” Janie continued. “You are an intelligent and beautiful young woman with so much potential, but we’re concerned for your welfare. And we’re here tonight to tell you that we want to help you get your life back on track, and we have some ideas—”

  “You’re doing an intervention?” Lisa stood, glaring at Janie. “I can’t believe this.” Then she let loose with some language, though no one seemed offended. Janie attempted to speak again, looking directly into Lisa’s eyes.

  “I love you so much, Lisa. And it breaks my heart to see you—”

  “I’m outta here!” Lisa took off toward the front door, but before she got there, Victor and Ben were up and blocking it.

  “Just take it easy,” Ben said calmly. “No one is going to hurt you. Trust us, Lisa, you’re among friends.”

  In the meantime, Mitch had gotten up and was keeping guard in the kitchen near the back door. Janie looked around nervously, but her friends all seemed to be just fine, smiling at her, nodding as if all this was just perfectly normal.

  “Hey, sweetie,” Caroline said gently as she went over and put her arm around Lisa. “Come back in here and at least hear what we have to say. Ben is right. No one here is going to hurt you. We all love Janie, and we all love you.”

  “That’s right,” Abby chimed in. “You may never find a roomful of more caring people than what you have right here. Come back and listen to your mother.”

  Even though Lisa had the look of a scared rabbit, she allowed Caroline to guide her back into the living room. “It’s okay to need help,” Caroline was telling her. “Everyone needs help sometimes.” She looked around the room. “Right?”

  “That’s right,” Marley said. “And that’s what friends are for.”

  “Lisa,” Nicole said as she stood and went over to stand in front of her. “You told me on Christmas Day that you’ve been unhappy. You said you want a fresh start in your life. Remember?”

  Lisa nodded.

  “You said you wish you could go to France like I did, just to get away from everything.”

  “I’d like that,” Lisa mumbled.

  “I want to give you that,” Janie said eagerly. “Oh, honey, I would gladly pay your way to France if I thought it would help.”

  Lisa looked hopeful. “You would?”

  Janie nodded. “Yes. I absolutely would. With all my friends here as witnesses, I promise to pay all your expenses to France if … if you get yourself completely clean and free from drugs.”

  “I am clean.” Lisa nodded eagerly. “I haven’t been using at all, Mom.”

  “For how long?” Janie asked quietly.

  “I don’t know.” Lisa looked desperate. “A long time though.”

  “It’s only been a few days.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because I saw you when you got here, Lisa. I’m not blind.”

  “Yeah, but I haven’t been using,” Lisa persisted. “I’ve been clean the whole time I’ve been here.”

  “Really?” Janie peered intently at her.

  “Well, yeah, I mean mostly.”

  “Here’s the deal,” Janie told her. “You have to be clean for a whole year before I can send you to France. And to do that you have to go in for treatment.”

  “Rehab?” Lisa frowned. “You want me to go to rehab?”

  “Yes.” Janie nodded firmly. “Because I love you.”

  Lisa began to fight back. Not physically, but with words and arguments and pleading. “You don’t love me—you just want to control me. If you loved me, you’d trust me, Mom. You wouldn’t be thinking the worst of me. You wouldn’t be trying to send me away.”

  “I don’t want to send you away, Lisa. I wish I could keep you here. But I can’t help you. You need more—”

  “How can you possibly know what I need? You’re trying to force what you think I need, shoving it down my throat.” Lisa started pacing again. “I can deal with this myself. All I wanted from you was a place to stay, Mom. Is that too much to ask?”

  “You can’t expect Janie to keep you here when you need real therapy,” Abby said.

  “How do you know what I need?”

  “Everyone in this room can see what you need, honey.” Caroline stood up and put a hand on her shoulder. “Everyone but you, Lisa. Sometimes it’s like that. We all have blind spots, things about ourselves that we can’t accept. But you just have to trust someone else. Do you believe your mother loves you?”

  Lisa shrugged.

  “I do love you, Lisa. All I want is what’s best for you.” Janie continued trying to reason with her. But it was feeling more and more useless. Even when others stepped in, speaking truth to Lisa, it was like her ears were blocked. Finally, after almost two hours, Janie felt like giving up. She knew the others were tired too. She had to put a stop to this.

  “I give up,” Janie told Lisa. “As usual, you will get your way. Go out there and do your drugs and sleep with strangers and end up in a morgue somewhere. You win, Lisa!” Janie sat down next to Abby, and, holding her head in her hands, she started to sob. Abby slipped her arm around Janie and held her.

  “Lisa.” Caroline was speaking. “Your mom just told you that you won. But do you realize what that really means?” There was a long pause.

  “Lisa, you lost,” Nicole declared. “I can’t believe you’re going to throw it all away. I can’t believe you’d be that stupid.”

  “Just go to rehab,” Ben urged. “Like I told you, my best friend went, and it totally changed his life. You could have
a life, Lisa. A real life.”

  Just like that, the others stepped in all over again, challenging Lisa, telling her not to pass on this opportunity.

  “Lisa.” Victor spoke up in a firm voice. “You obviously have a choice to make. No one can make this choice for you. No one, unless you wind up in a court somewhere, will force you to go to rehab.”

  Janie looked up. “He’s right, Lisa. It’s your choice. No one will force you.”

  “Your mom is offering you an opportunity to get out of a lifestyle that will kill you,” Abby said urgently. “Why won’t you accept it?”

  “Because it will kill you,” Nicole said with emotion. She told Lisa about a friend of hers who died from an overdose. “He was only eighteen,” she said finally, “with his whole life ahead of him too. But just like that it was gone. He doesn’t get a second chance. You do.”

  Lisa’s hands were shaking, and she was beginning to cry. Janie went over and wrapped her arms around her. “We want to help you, Lisa. We want to take care of you. Please, let us. All you have to do is agree that you need help. You do need help, don’t you?”

  Without speaking, Lisa nodded.

  Several others came over and gathered around Janie and Lisa, speaking encouraging words, and some even prayed. Janie thanked them, and slowly they began to leave until it was only Victor, Ben, Janie, and Lisa.

  “Do you want us to stick around?” Victor offered.

  “No,” Janie told him. “We’ll be fine. Lisa has made her decision, and I think she’s going to stick to it.”

  “Well, it is her choice,” Victor reminded Janie. “No one can force her.”

  After they left, Lisa and Janie went to bed. As she’d done before, Janie tried to pray for her daughter, and as usual, it wasn’t easy. When she said amen, she realized that Lisa might still change her mind, might even run away in the middle of the night. Really, what could Janie do about it? She considered trying to stay awake. She could go out in the living room and keep watch over the door. But the truth was, she was too exhausted—too emotionally spent from the past several days. Maybe Janie would regret it tomorrow, but Lisa was on her own tonight.