Girl of Mine

by Taylor Dean

  “I’m sorry, Luke. I’m sorry.”

  Luke and Jill exchanged a puzzled expression. In spite of Luke’s tender expressions, Jill wondered at Troy’s abrupt change. Perhaps when faced with his own mortality, Troy was seeing things a little differently. Confronting death had to be a soul searching experience. Maybe knowing he was about to lose his life had changed his outlook.

  “I don’t know why I did it. I just don’t know why,” Troy said between gulps of air.

  Luke stepped forward and knelt in front of Troy. “Troy, it’s all right, buddy.”

  Jill couldn’t help but feel nervous about Luke’s close proximity to Troy. He was a loose cannon.

  “It’s not all right. I’ve been such a jerk to you. I hate the person I’ve become. Ever since the accident I became this person I don’t know, a man filled with spite and anger; anger I’ve never been able to let go of. It’s like this raging energy of hate inside me. I’ve stoked the fire and I’ve never let it die down. I don’t want to be that person anymore.”

  Luke touched his shoulder. “It doesn’t matter. Don’t worry about it.”

  “It does matter. I’ve hated you for a long time. I hated you for living, for breathing, for succeeding, for being happy. I hated you for being normal when I couldn’t be. I especially hated that no matter how badly I treated you, you were always so damn nice to me. I figured you’d leave me alone eventually. I was sure you’d get tired of me and wash your hands of me.” Troy ran his hands over his face with despair etched in his features. “But you never did. Not once.”

  “I would never do that, Troy.”

  “All this time, I’ve felt like God must hate me. Why would He let bad things happen to me when I was doing something good? I just don’t get it. I felt abandoned, like God didn’t care about me.”

  “Don’t say that. It isn’t true.”

  “You’re right, it isn’t true. You know how I know that?”

  “How?”

  “Because He sent me you. You’ve never left me. If I need something, you come running. Every time. I’ve never felt alone. I always knew you were there for me.”

  “I’m still here for you. I always will be.”

  “Why? Why would you give me the time of day?”

  “Because . . . you’re my best friend, Troy.”

  Troy’s hands clenched into fists as he lowered his head and deep heart-wrenching sobs escaped from his chest. “I’m sorry, Luke, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you to give up Jill. I just wanted to see how far you would go. I was pushing the limits and I knew it. I knew I was being a jerk, but I couldn’t stop myself. I just couldn’t stop myself.”

  Luke wrapped his arms around Troy, patting his back in a brotherly fashion. “Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s water under the bridge. No harm done.”

  Jill felt she could debate that last thought. How could Luke let it go so easily? But tears were swelling in her eyes at the sight of the best friends making peace with each other and she cast any thoughts of holding a grudge aside. Harmony was long overdue.

  Troy swayed in Luke’s arms as a soft moan escaped. “I need to lie down.”

  Luke helped Troy remove his raincoat, then helped him to the couch, propping his head with a pillow. “You all right?”

  “My head’s pounding. Headaches have been the worst thing so far. When they come on I’m good for nothin’. I’m not even supposed to be driving.”

  Jill ran to the kitchen and threw some ice in a baggie. She wet a kitchen towel and wrung it out. Returning to Troy, she placed the cool towel on his forehead, and held the ice on top of the towel. “Something cold always relieves my headaches,” she told him.

  “That feels good. Thanks, Jill.” Troy’s sporadic breathing worried her as he panted through the haze of pain.

  When he calmed, they sat in silence for a while with Jill holding the ice bag, Luke gripping Troy’s hand, and Troy closing his eyes in respite. The storm still raged outside.

  Jill met Luke’s gaze and their eyes held. She saw worry in his eyes, but she also saw relief. A myriad of unspoken emotion passed between them.

  Twenty minutes later, an ashen faced Troy opened his eyes, staring at the two people who’d refused to leave his side. “Thank you. It’s subsiding now.”

  Neither Luke nor Jill moved.

  “Can you take something?” Luke asked.

  “Not if I want to be fit for driving.”

  “You’re not driving anywhere. I’ll take you home.”

  Troy nodded. “In my pocket.”

  Jill grabbed a glass of water and Troy dutifully took his pain medication. He collapsed onto the couch as if the action had taken all of his energy.

  The trio studied one another for a few moments.

  “I’m sorry, Jill,” Troy offered contritely.

  “It all worked out in the end,” she told him. Although he’d certainly put her and Luke through the wringer. He’d tested the strength of their relationship and the durability of their love, yet they’d come out on top.

  Troy nodded and exhaled loudly. “So, you two are gonna get married before Luke leaves again?” His eyes were a little skittish, but at least he made the effort to be affable.

  Jill couldn’t suppress the smile begging to be unleashed. “Yes, tonight actually.”

  “Tonight?”

  Luke glanced at his watch. “Yeah, we leave for Vegas in four hours.”

  “Four hours? Don’t you need to get to the airport?”

  “As long as we leave within the hour, we’ll be good,” Luke answered.

  Troy clasped his hands tightly over his chest. “I’m happy for you. Both of you.” The words came out slightly stilted, yet felt sincere nonetheless. “You two belong together. I’ve always known it.”

  “Thanks, Troy,” Luke said thickly.

  “Troy . . .” Jill started, then paused to swallow the lump in her throat. “I’ll stay with you. You won’t be alone.”

  “I’d like that,” he whispered, unable to find his voice.

  “So . . . what comes next?” Luke asked Troy.

  Jill wasn’t sure if Luke meant right now at the present moment, or treatment-wise.

  Troy sighed. “Don’t know. Sit around and wait to die, I guess.” He sounded utterly defeated.

  Luke objected. “No, no, no. That’s not okay. You’re still alive. Embrace life, be happy, and live to the fullest,” he encouraged. “Enjoy the time you have left.”

  Luke’s words sounded slightly forced as he attempted to act cheerful. Jill knew losing Troy was going to be tough on him.

  Troy grunted with noncompliance. “I don’t think so.”

  “Aw, c’mon. I know a certain someone who would love to spend every second she can with you.”

  “Do you . . . do you mean Joni?” Troy said, surprised.

  “Yes. You broke her heart. What are you gonna do about it?”

  Troy fiddled with his scarf. “I burned that bridge. There’s no going back.”

  “I don’t believe that for a minute.”

  “You . . . you think she’d take me back?”

  “I happen to know she’d take you back.”

  “Really?” The color returned to Troy’s face.

  “Yep.”

  Troy deflated. “Oh, I don’t know about that. She knows I was engaged to Jill. I’m not sure she’ll even speak to me.”

  “At least give it a try.” Luke looked Jill in the eyes as he spoke to Troy. “Be totally honest and explain everything. She’ll understand.”

  “Maybe.” Troy’s “maybe” made it sound as though he’d never do it.

  “No maybe. Do it,” Luke said forcefully.

  “You can borrow the ranch house. I have it on good authority that it’s the perfect place to resume a love affair,” Jill added.

  Luke grinned and winked at her.

  Troy released a deep breath. “She’s mad at me and I don’t blame her. If she saw me coming, she’d turn and walk the other way.”

>   “Luke has handcuffs you can borrow,” Jill muttered under her breath.

  “What?” Troy asked, perplexed.

  Luke glared at her, attempting to hide his mirth. “Nothing,” Jill said.

  “Let’s start this conversation over. What comes next?” Luke said, repeating his earlier question.

  Jill didn’t think Troy was going to answer. He mulled over the idea for several moments. Then he surprised them by saying, “Next, I’m gonna track down Joni and beg her forgiveness. And if she’ll have me, I’ll marry her.”

  “What?” Luke said with a huge grin, fake punching him in the arm.

  “Yeah, you’re not the only one who found the love of your life, Graham. I was just too dumb to see it.”

  “Well, dang,” Luke mumbled.

  32

  Luke and Jill

  April 2003

  Present Day

  Luke and Jill drove Troy home. He had no business driving in his condition. Jill promised she’d get his car back to him during the following week.

  Of course, what Troy had done was not okay. Not by a long shot. But both Luke and Jill were willing to forgive and forget. At this point, Jill was just happy to have Luke back in her life.

  As they watched Troy slowly amble up his front walk, Luke muttered, “Don’t have his light anymore.”

  “Nope. It’s back where it should be.” Jill massaged his shoulder. “Now you have mine.”

  They shared a warm smile as Luke pressed on the gas and headed for the airport.

  “In a hurry, Mr. Graham?”

  “You have no idea. We can’t get to Vegas fast enough.”

  “For me either.” Butterflies bounced in her belly; the excited kind.

  “Can I ask you something?” Luke queried.

  “Sure.” Jill loved that there were no hesitations between them, that they were at ease with each other once again.

  “Would you have married me before I left the first time?”

  She hated the question and wished he knew the answer without asking. “In a red hot second.”

  Luke grinned widely. “I thought so. Just wanted to make sure.”

  “I’d rather have one day with you as my husband than to never have had it at all. It’s worth it; you’re worth it.”

  Luke remained silent and the interior of the car felt heavy. The concept that he may never come home, that this might be the only time they have, was not something either of them wanted to think about right now. He reached out and squeezed her hand tightly.

  “So, where are we staying, Groom?” Jill asked, opting for lightheartedness.

  “At a place where the word groom will not be emblazoned on anything.”

  “Hmmm. Now I have a confession to make.”

  “Uh-oh. You didn’t.”

  “I did. I couldn’t help myself.”

  “What is it? And do I have to wear it?”

  “The robes. And yes.”

  He shrugged. “No worries. We won’t be wearing them for long.”

  Jill blushed. “Scandalous.”

  “I know, right? We have to pack our honeymoon into one day. Prepare to be scandalized, Bride.”

  “Where is it that I will be scandalized?”

  “Oh, I never answered your question, did I?”

  “I think you’re a little distracted.”

  “A little, I admit. I’m taking you to the JW Marriott. Far off the strip. It’s a resort and we have ourselves an elegant suite that’s gonna knock your socks off.”

  Jill sobered. The light banter was fun, but the reality was she’d have to say goodbye to Luke before she knew it.

  Luke sensed her mood change. “Don’t think about it, Jill. Live in the moment. It’s all we have. Right now, this minute. Let’s enjoy it.”

  He was right. She wouldn’t ruin their time together by feeling sad. “When did you make all of these arrangements for a Vegas trip?” It suddenly occurred to her that since they’d made up, they’d been together almost every second and he hadn’t been on the phone or computer.

  “Promise you won’t disclose this at my trial?” Luke asked.

  “Trial?”

  “Yeah, you know for kidnapping you. You planned on pressing charges against me.”

  “Oh, that trial,” Jill giggled. “All right, this is off the record.”

  “Remember all that premeditated planning I did?”

  “Yeah.”

  “That planning just might have included a wedding and honeymoon in Vegas.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Hey, a guy can hope, right?”

  “You were awfully confident you could win me over by Saturday night.”

  “Listen, between the attempted ‘chair escape,’ the stealing of my keys, the silent treatment and the glare of your eyes, I felt anything but confident.”

  She had been pretty hard on him. “Thanks for not giving up on me. Even though you had to become a criminal to do it.”

  “My crime spree is over. Rest assured. But I do have another confession to make.”

  “Please don’t let it be a loaded confession.”

  “I couldn’t leave behind the personalized throw blanket.”

  Jill smiled. “It has our wedding date on it.”

  “Sure does.”

  “Just between you and me, I love it.”

  “Don’t tell my mom, but me too. There’s more.”

  “More?”

  “You know the ‘bride and groom’ baseball hats?”

  Jill moaned, over-exaggerating her horror. “Say it isn’t so.”

  “Sorry. Just couldn’t resist.”

  If they stayed in their room the entire time as they planned to do, she’d never leave the hotel, and she wouldn’t have to wear the dumb hat. But she loved that Luke had wanted to save them, even if they were cheesy. She hadn’t told Luke, but when she returned to the ranch house to pick up Troy’s car, she had every intention of collecting every single personalized item Troy’s mom had left for them. They would be treasured keepsakes from here on out.

  They made it to the airport and between parking, checking their bags, calling their respective parents to break the news, and boarding the plane, there wasn’t much time for idle chitchat. Then Jill fell asleep on Luke’s shoulder for most of the nearly three hour nonstop flight. Even though they’d arrive in Vegas at midnight Texas time, it’d be only ten p.m. Vegas time. Plenty of time to get married on their original wedding day.

  She awoke when Luke gently nudged her. “Hey, time to go to The Little White Wedding Chapel.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “It was either that or the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel and this one sounded a little more . . . real?” he said, searching for the right word.

  “Appropriate?” she added.

  “Serious?”

  “Respectful?”

  “Suitable?”

  “All of the above,” she said as they both laughed.

  It wasn’t her dream wedding and she didn’t care. She was marrying Luke, her dream man, and that was all that mattered.

  They arrived at the Little White Wedding Chapel and were asked several questions that they promptly answered. No, they didn’t want to be chauffeured in a pink Cadillac and have Elvis perform their wedding. No, the Gothic wedding package to include flying vampires did not appeal to them either. They just wanted something simple and traditional.

  Luke surprised her when he pulled out his garment bag and produced an elegant white lace dress.

  “Did you think we were getting married in our jeans?” he asked.

  “I don’t really care. As long as I get to marry you.” Jill leaned forward and kissed him, long and slow.

  Then, unable to help herself, she turned her attention back to the dress.

  “And I’m toast,” Luke mumbled.

  “What?” Jill asked, distracted.

  “Nothing. Your mom helped me get the right size.”

  “This is so beautiful.” It was exquisit
e. When she tried it on, it fit her like a glove. When she saw Luke in a black tux, she couldn’t hold back the tears.

  It was—and always had been—their wedding day.

  The venue may have changed. The trappings may not all be present. The guests may be zero.

  But the important thing was Jill was about to marry Lucas Graham, forever entwining their lives.

  And nothing else mattered.

  Nothing.

  An hour later, Jill stood before Luke in a simple nightgown made of the softest satin that had ever touched her skin. It hugged her body, leaving nothing to the imagination. The material was diaphanous, a wisp of a covering, dainty and light.

  She felt beautiful because the light in Luke’s eyes told her so.

  “My mother has so much to answer for.”

  Luke took a few steps toward her. “I chose this one. It was all me.”

  “In that case, I love it.”

  His tux jacket had been discarded. His tie had been loosened. His shirt was untucked, and unbuttoned at the neck. His state of undress sent her heart racing faster than if he’d been fully undressed.

  His hands cupped her cheeks, framing her face.

  “Jill, I love you. Thank you for forgiving me, for marrying me, for loving me, for being the one person in this world I can’t live without. I will think of this night every night for the next year. I will be dreaming of you and I will be a happy man. Make no mistake. It is you that will send me off with all my dreams intact. It is you that allows me to leave with peace in my heart. It is because of you that I regret nothing.”

  He tangled his hands in her hair, gently running his fingers through her locks. Jill closed her eyes, his touch making her tingle with anticipation. She unbuttoned his dress shirt and ran her hands over his bare chest, making his breath hitch in his throat. His reaction alone left her feeling dizzy. He placed his lips on hers, kissing her ever so lightly. His sweet kisses always transported her to another world—a selfish place where she just wanted more and more and more. He made her feel as though she’d just melted into a puddle of water.

  When he deepened the kiss, her knees buckled and he held her in his arms, fully supporting her.