More Than Lies

by N. E. Henderson

  “I’m not asking you to.” I take a step closer toward him, but Jared backs up. I can’t blame him. “I like you Jared. I even love you, but I love you like a friend. You, you deserve someone better than me. Someone who you can go all in with and can equally go all in with you. It’s not me, but she’s out there. If you open your eyes, I know you’ll find her.”

  I don’t wait for his response. Instead I step around him, walking the few steps toward the door, but before I walk out I hear him.

  “I want it to be you.”

  I don’t know what else to say so I leave, shutting the door behind me. I can’t convince him, that’s obvious now, but maybe time will. He’ll see. Jared is such a great guy. He was a douche in high school, but who wasn’t? Now he’s fun and caring and he has so much to offer someone.

  He might want it to be me, and on some level, I wish it were.

  Reaching into the front of my dress, I take my cell phone out from where I have it tucked in the center of my bra, to check the time as I descend the stairs. Without a purse and no pockets, it’s the only place I can store it because I don’t want to hold it all night long. Once I see it’s just after ten I swipe the screen and type in my code to unlock it since I have a text message that I didn’t realize I had. But before I’m able to open it, someone latches onto my wrist and yanks me forward. I stumble off the last step and my body is jerked around the stairwell. I’m pulled into a bathroom so fast I don’t know who has a hold of me.

  Panic sinks in as the door slammed shut. I’m disoriented from the quick and unexpected capture. It’s a man, I know that much because I’m pressed against his hard chest.

  The slight case of vertigo I just experienced starts to dissipate as my senses return. It’s the scent of him that makes my body relax automatically into his. My eyes snap up to Shawn’s. A soft, inaudible moan escapes my lips as the sight of the intensity behind his brown eyes. The flakes of gold are glowing. I know he’s pissed. Why, I’m not sure, but it’s such a turn on. I couldn’t tell you why that is either. Another unexplained affect he has on me.

  “Did you fuck him?” His question catches me off guard and I don’t respond as quickly as I guess he thinks I should. Releasing my wrist, he grabs me by the waist with both hands and then yanks my body closer into his front. “Did you?”

  “What?” He takes my cell phone out of my hand and places it on the counter next to the sink.

  “Don’t do that. Don’t play stupid because we both know you aren’t.” It takes a second for what he’s asking and telling me to sink in, longer than it should anyway. Being pressed against his crotch isn’t helping my intelligence shine.

  “Jared?” Okay, dumb question. It’s obvious that’s who he’s asking about because he saw me with him earlier, but it’s like my mind is on delay at the moment. “No?” The dumbness just continues. Why did I say it like a question? Like I’m asking him if that’s the right answer and why the flipping eff does he give a rat’s behind?

  “Did he touch you?” I nod. Speaking verbally isn’t working out for me in my current position. Shawn hands tighten around my waist. “Where?” Is he…is he getting hard? I can’t think pressed against him like this. My brain can’t keep up. My body wants to mold against his, but somewhere within I know I need to turn this off. I’m getting whiplash. It’s been so long, too long since my vagina’s been filled with a man. I could’ve had it earlier tonight, but Jared just isn’t who I want.

  Sure, attention from Shawn is hot. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to take this as far as he’s willing to let it go, but he seems to only want something from me because he thinks Jared got it.

  I shove forward, and then push myself away from him, taking a step backwards only to be met with the flat surface of the bathroom door. Breathing in, I pull in a large quantity of air. Much needed because it allows my mind to catch up and not being in contact with his body grants my own a break, bringing me down from the heated high I didn’t realize I was experiencing.

  My break is shorted lived. Shawn takes a step forward to stand only inches away from me.

  “Where?” Oh, are we still on this? Again, why does he care?

  “What’s the matter, Shawn, Tinker Bell isn’t cutting it?” He and the little blonde tramp are laughable. She’s like two feet shorter than he is. Who finds that attractive anyway?

  Stupid men.

  No response from him. His lips are pressed in a firm line.

  “Is it past her bedtime? Did she need to get home?” That was low. I don’t know how old the girl is.

  My jealousy is really shining, but then what do you call what he’s in here doing?

  His eyes flash right before I realize he’s made a move to grab me by the arm and flip me around. Within a split second, my back goes from being pressed against the door to being pressed against Shawn’s front. My chest is now pressed firmly into the door.

  He just took this to whole new level and not a bad one. No, a flaming hot one this is. I’m not a whore, but sometimes I think I feel like one from the dirty things that filter through my mind.

  “I’m not in here to talk about her.” He leans down to my ear. “I asked you where he touched you. Now I expect you to reply with an answer.” If he’s going to play this game, he’s playing it to the end. I’ll be damned if I allow him to leave me hanging like he did a few months ago.

  Reaching behind me, I hook my fingers into the front pockets of his blue jeans and yank forward, pulling his crotch snug against my butt. He’s still hard. Harder in fact and I like it a lot.

  “He kissed me.” I lean my head back to get closer to him. I want more contact. I want as much contact as possible. I already have on too many clothes and so does he. Shawn is liable to gain his senses and stop whatever this is that is starting.

  I don’t want that to happen.

  “Hands on the door.” I comply almost immediately. “Where? Where did he kiss you?”

  “My neck.” My voice is getting breathless yet he’s barely done anything except take control over me. My weakness. “The exact location where your chin is resting.” I flex my hips, making my butt push into his front. Shawn pulls his face away from me. I moan in protest, but he’s only gone long enough to move my hair out of the way.

  I might like a man to take control, but I’m an active participant, too.

  Shawn places his tongue on the spot, swiping warm heat across my skin. Goose bumps erupt as the cool air trails behind. At the same time he raises the hem of my sweater dress up my body.

  “Ahhh, don’t you dare stop this.” He has to know I’ll kill him if he even attempts that.

  His hand dives into my hair where he fists the strains into a tight bunch. Pulling me an inch or two backwards, his mouth goes back to my ear. “Not a word. Not a fucking word, Tara.”

  Does he think he’s punishing me for allowing Jared to kiss me? If this is punishment, then please give me more. Lots more.

  His lips move away from my ear, going down to the spot he licked. He swipes the area again with his tongue. More goose bumps follow seconds before he bites down on me. I clamp down on my teeth, locking my jaw so that sound doesn’t escape my lips. No way am I messing this up.

  Shawn’s hand, the one clutching my dress at my waist slips to my hip. For a moment it rests there, covering the strip of material holding my bikini panties in place. In another shift move, he swings us both to the side so that we are now facing the mirror that spans the wall over the sink. I grab the edge of the counter to brace myself as I find his eyes.

  He latches onto the string of my underwear, but doesn’t take it further. I want him to pull them down or rip them off. Anything, but not nothing. Seconds pass, we stare at each other.

  I realize he’s waiting on my consent. Shawn may be in charge of this show, but he isn’t a man that would ever take something not freely given to him.

  I nod letting him know I want more. I’m not anywhere close to leaving this bathroom. I feel the material stretch before
loosening and falling down my legs telling me he went for the quickest route and ripped them.

  I might complain later. I sort of liked those pair. They matched the black bra I’m wearing. Sexy underwear is easy to find. Sexy and equally comfortable underwear is not so easy to find.

  His hand slides down my leg making my skin prickle. His fingers aren’t rough, but they aren’t soft either. They’re just right, large in size and firm the way a man’s touch should be. He encompasses my thigh in his palm, bringing my leg up and outward until I feel the bottom of my riding boot stop, bracing on solid surface. Shawn still has his other hand wrapped in my hair, holding my face in place to look directly into the mirror so I can’t look down, but the mirror is large enough that I know my foot is braced on the lid of the toilet.

  His hold on my hair tightens to the point of just barely painful. It’s a good kind of hurt and the start of a promising painful pleasure. His mouth begins to suck on the area of skin on my neck that he’s licked several times. The palm of his hand runs from my inner thigh, to the top and then behind my leg where he continues until he cups my rear. His hand leaves, but quickly returns with a loud smack, causing heat to shoot through me.

  “Mmmm”

  I can’t help the sound that escapes. I wasn’t expecting to be spanked, but he can do that again.

  His mouth relaxes on my skin, replaced with teeth against me. “Shhhh.”

  “Continue that…and…I’ll be screaming.” Oh, but please continue. He locks back onto my skin, sucking again. I’ll have a bruise in that spot before this is over.

  Shawn steps to my side, keeping his front pressed against me so that I can feel the hardness inside his jeans. I want to feel all that solidness inside of me, but apparently he has other plans at the moments. His hand goes underneath me where his fingers breach my folds. Continuing on, he runs his finger through my wet center until he reaches my clit. Without stopping to pay it a lick of attention he runs the same finger in the opposite direction only to insert it inside me. I have to suck in my bottom lip to bite in order to suppress a moan.

  God, that feels good.

  He withdraws all too soon and is running back up my length. This time when his finger stops at my clit I feel his thumb being submerged into me.

  Have freakin’ mercy.

  His thumb pumps in and out a few times before he withdraws again. This time he inserts his middle finger along with another inside, but that’s not what has my body on alert and my eyes snapping up to look into the mirror. Shawn’s wet thumb stops, pressing against the tight hole on my backside.

  He’s still sucking on the skin of my neck while pumping into me. His thumb starts to slowly run back and forth against the tight area. His head doesn’t move, but his eyes lift then connect with mine. In this moment, looking into his eyes while he doing these things to me, I feel overwhelmed, scared it’ll all be taken away, but most of all the beginning of what I think is freedom. Free to be me. Free to feel human and not my parents puppet.

  I push back, pressing into his thumb. Shawn doesn’t stop, but the speed of his finger going in and out of me slows.

  No. No. No.

  “Please. Oh, please.” I don’t feel the least bit ashamed for begging him to enter me both ways. This is my dirtiest fantasy come true.

  He’s so easy to read right now. There has never been a clear moment like this between us when I could look at Shawn and tell what he was thinking or wanted. This he wants. He wants to do this to me. And that makes me burn hotter within. He’s the one in charge, but I feel empowered. It’s a heady cocktail that makes me feel tipsy yet alive.

  His thumb slips lower where he dips it in, coating his flesh with my juices. Once his thumb is lubed up he positioned it back against the hole where he starts to press inside. His other fingers resume a better speed, going in and out at a constant rhythm. He’s met with a pressure of resistance, but isn’t deterred. Shawn continues easing in, slowly, gently.

  His other hand releases my hair, moving down my back, over my waist until he gets past the material of my bunched up dress and connect with the flesh on my belly. His palm is warm as it moves downward. When he stops, no time is wasted; Shawn presses two fingers against my clit. He doesn’t move them, just presses firmly into me as his other fingers continue their path in and out while his thumb starts to retract.

  “Oh my God.” Small shutters develop within making me tighten my grip on the edge of the counter. Shawn enters me both ways simultaneously, going in and out, over and over again. It feels amazing. It’s too much and not enough. My head falls backwards. Tingles start to cascade from my sex outward going down my body and up through my chest.

  It’s not until I’m coming down from my high that I feel his teeth biting into my skin. I’m panting hard, harder than I ever have before this night. It’s like I’ve exerted all my energy. Maybe I have, but I didn’t do a thing.

  He withdraws and I whimper.

  When I force my head to lean forward, looking at him through the mirror, Shawn is looking at the mark between my neck and shoulder. It’s red and angry.

  “Shit.” His eyes close. Remorse? Is that what I saw? “What the fuck?”

  Hell no.

  I twist, turning around to face him. He steps back, but I grab the front of his jeans. Without allowing him time to process what I’m doing, I quickly pull his belt bucket open. His brain must catch up because he stops my hands from unbuttoning his pants.

  “Tara, no. I…shit I’m sorry. I shouldn’t…I gotta go.” He pushes my hands away from him, but I just bring them up to his chest, pressing against him to stop.

  “Let me.” I want to give back all the pleasure he gave me. I want to show him this is good. We could be good if he would just give it a chance. “I want to.”

  “No you don’t. I shouldn’t have taken that as far as I did. Shit.” He breathes hard. His eyes skate down to the mark he made. “I’m sorry about that.”

  “I’m not and you’re not either. Don’t lie to me. I know you liked doing that to me just as much as I liked you doing it. I saw it, Shawn. I know you did, so do not lie to me and say it should not have happened.”

  “Liking something has nothing to do with if it should or shouldn’t have happened. It won’t happen again. I really am sorry. Move.” His body is tense. He won’t look at me anymore.

  “Why are you so against this?” I gesture between us, but he’s not looking so I clarify. “Something more between us.”

  “I’m not right for you. You know this.”

  “No, actually I don’t know this.” I mock his words. They’re ticking me off. “Let’s stop skirting around this. You know I want you. Why won’t you give in?”

  “I just did and I shouldn’t have. This isn’t happening again. Drop it, Tara.”

  “No.” Okay, that came out a little childish. I might as well have started stomping my feet.

  “Don’t you get I’m protecting you from me?” He sounds exasperated.

  “What?” That absurd. “Why?”

  “Tara, protecting you from me is my goddamn mission in life.” With those last words, he pushes me to the side and walks out. I left standing alone in a bathroom where he gave me the best orgasm of my life only a few minutes ago. Damn…if that wasn’t the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.

  In a bathroom.

  Eff my freakin’ life.

  “Darlin’, a fuck is just a fuck. Doesn’t matter if it’s in a warm bed or up against a cold concrete wall inside a bathroom.”

  “But we haven’t—” I press two of my fingers against her lips to silence her. The same plump lips that I only remembered thirty minutes ago were wrapped around my dick last month. I’m pretty certain I fucked her, too. What a wasted night.

  “Honey, I’m not in the mood tonight. You asked to share a cab ride, which I graciously allowed. That’s all this was and I have no desire for a bedmate. Ya feel me, babe?”

  “Yeah, Shawn,” she bites those words out with a
stunned look marring her overly made up face as she grabs the twenty dollar bill still slid between my index and middle finger before sinking back down into the back seat of the taxi cab.

  I’m sure she thinks I’m a complete dick, but hey, I paid her cab fare home. I can’t be that much of a dick.

  I push the door close, turn on my heel and make my drunk-ass way up the driveway to my house. I can hear the music playing from outside. It’s not loud enough that the neighbors will call the cops. Hell, I bet half of those motherfuckers are inside right at this moment. Probably a few passed out and scattered throughout my place too. Parties are starting to get back into full swing around here since Tara was drugged a few months ago.

  I haven’t laid eyes on that shit fuck, but when I do, he’ll wish he’d never crossed me. That’s a day I’m looking forward to.

  As my feet land on the last step, leading to the porch, a figure catches my eye demanding I look that way. The first thing I see is a tangled mess of blonde waves. It’s shielding her heart shaped face from my view because her head bowed, but I know its Tara.

  It’s been six days since our heated bathroom moment on Christmas night. I’ve done a good job of avoiding her like the plague not only at work, but at home too. It’s easy when I stay out so late and by the time I do get home, she’s in bed. By the time I get up in the morning, she’s usually left for her classes. I even missed family dinner night earlier this week. I regretted that. I should have manned up and faced her, but I didn’t.

  Mason and Matt both prefer to get hammered in walking distance of their beds. With parties starting to gather at my house on the weekends again I can understand why she’s still awake then a moment of concern flashes before me when remembering what happened those months ago with the guy that drugged her.

  “What the hell are you doing out here?” I stop to ask, but she doesn’t move nor does she look up. It’s then that I take in the rest of her. She is wearing a tight pale purple tank top and matching shorts. The light color of the material against her tanned, flawless skin is striking not to mention too sexy for my liking. Tara wouldn’t dress like that around others. That’s the type of clothes she sleeps in.