Wicked Fascination

by J. M. Brister

  Now, Joe had to decide whether he wanted to tell Freya what was going on. Brian needed to know, but Joe was afraid that his daughter might go catatonic again if she knew James had tried to kill a woman investigating her rape. She had seemed so happy for once when he had left her on Monday. She had seemed more like her old self.

  No, he decided. Only Brian would know. It would be simpler that way. Let her enjoy some happiness for once.

  9:57 AM

  Freya sat nervously on the couch in Brian’s living room. Something was off about him ever since she had given him oral sex. She couldn’t help but wonder if she had screwed that up completely. He had come, hadn’t he? It had to have been at least somewhat pleasurable for him.

  Or maybe it was something else entirely? Maybe things had gotten to hot and heavy for him, and he realized that he didn’t want to pursue anything more with her? Maybe he realized that she was too much work and that he’d be better off with literally any other woman? She looked down at her exposed scarred wrist and winced at the thought of how much baggage she came with.

  A million thoughts were racing through her head as she watched Brian finish a phone call in the kitchen. When he finished, he looked even more off than before.

  “Is everything…okay?” She asked.

  “Yeah,” he said, his voice almost robotic. “That was your father. Just had some book stuff to go over. He said he’d call you later.”

  “Oh, okay.”

  Freya still didn’t feel good about the whole situation. She wanted her normal Brian back. He had been her rock these past few weeks. She had made so much progress just by being around him. Hell, she had let him suck her off last night, hadn’t she?

  She did have to smile about that memory. The vision of his head between her legs was now burned in her mind forever. Her body was still humming from that orgasm. At the very least, he had made her feel alive for a few nights, but she wanted so much more from him. She wanted a future with him.

  Freya got up from the couch and limped over to him (her foot was getting better but still wasn’t great). She desperately needed some physical contact from him. She needed some reassurance from him that he still wanted her—that he still cared about her.

  “You should stay off your foot,” he noted as she came closer.

  “It’s getting better,” she told him and nuzzled into him.

  He wrapped his strong arms around her. The hug felt stiff at first, but eventually, softened into something that resembled the old Brian.

  When the embrace ended, he looked down at her and said, “I have a lot of work to do today. Will you be okay on your own for a bit?”

  Freya flinched but nodded. She felt selfish for wanting all of Brian’s time, but he had seemed to willingly give it to her up until last night.

  “Are we…okay?” She asked hesitantly.

  He nodded and said, “Yes, I’m just a little behind. That’s all. I’ll make you dinner tonight. Does that sound good?”

  She nodded but didn’t feel relieved. There was something strange going on with Brian, and she desperately wished she knew what was going on.

  12:47 PM

  Alexis darted out of the courthouse and to the parking garage. It had been a long morning, and she had been running on too little sleep and too many cups of coffee. She was looking forward to being able to sleep in her apartment again, but that might not be for a few days. Until then, she would stay at Howard’s and that would mean long nights of hot, steamy sex.

  Not that she didn’t mind. Last night had been amazing. But she was also emotionally exhausted, and what had happened to her the previous night with James was starting to catch up to her. People had been stopping her in the courthouse left and right asking about it (it had made the news). She was annoyed at the lack of privacy, but she did appreciate the support of all her colleagues.

  Alexis had almost gotten to her car when an incoming phone call stopped her in her tracks. The number was local, but she wasn’t sure who it was. Still, she had a feeling that it was important.

  “Hello,” she answered.

  “Hello? Is this Ms. Montgomery? This is Melissa Crane.”

  Alexis’s heart seemed to jump up through her chest. This could be an interesting conversation.

  “What can I do for you?” Alexis asked.

  “I was watching the news this morning, and I heard about your attack. It was James, wasn’t it?”

  Alexis fidgeted nervously, debating on whether she should tell this woman or not. Crane could cough up more information on James if she knew he was the attacker.

  “It was,” she finally confirmed.

  “I knew it! He’s too damned smart. He knows you’re after him. Listen, after I saw the news report, I leaned hard on my divorce lawyer this morning and got you that address. The bitch’s name is Samantha Clark. Do you have something to write this down?”

  “I will in a moment,” Alexis said, digging through her briefcase on the hood of her car.

  Maybe things were finally starting to turn around after all?

  4:55 PM

  Brian stared at the blinking cursor on his laptop screen and realized that he had written about as much as he was going to in one day. He had certainly gotten a lot of work done—for once—but he was way behind on the book. The only one he had to blame on that one was himself. He had gotten so caught up with Freya that he had neglected everything else.

  The problem was that he didn’t care. He’d never been happier. He loved spending time with her. Her presence had this calming effect on him.

  And now he was avoiding her.

  Brian had to stop this. It was idiotic. He was pushing her away because he couldn’t deal with his feelings. So what if he loved her? Shouldn’t he be overjoyed with that fact? Instead, he was in his office hiding like a coward.

  He had seen the way she had looked at him this morning. She knew something was up. He had almost lost it when he had received the phone call from Joe about James attacking another woman. He wondered how he was going to keep that a secret from Freya. He knew why Joe didn’t want her to know, but that didn’t mean Brian had to like it.

  Hell, how was Brian going to keep his feelings a secret? He was going to have to tell her eventually. He couldn’t keep avoiding her.

  Tonight.

  He’d tell her tonight and see how she’d react. It was probably way too soon to be saying that kind of shit to someone—they had only known each other for a few short weeks. But he had to get it out of his system. She had him all tied up in knots. He had never felt this way before about anyone.

  Sighing, he shut the lid of his laptop and decided to go out and face Freya. He had promised her dinner, and he couldn’t keep avoiding her anymore for today.

  8:04 PM

  Freya sat nervously in bed beside Brian. They had been watching a movie together, but she hadn’t been interested. She was too preoccupied with his changed behavior. Even the way he touched her felt different. She knew that she was eventually going to have to brooch the subject. Perhaps now was a better time than never?

  “Brian, is everything okay?” She asked softly, reaching her hand out to touch his arm.

  He looked back at her, an odd expression on his face. She was disheartened by it. For whatever reason, his interest in her had appeared to wane. She wondered if she’d even last the whole month with him, let alone the whole summer. Freya was most definitely sure that things would not last when she left the mountain home. Regardless if James was caught or not, she couldn’t just tag along with him forever, could she? No. That would be ridiculous. He had a life to lead—an exciting one at that. This little fantasy world that she was living in would have to come to an end at some point, she realized.

  “To be honest with you: No, I’m not okay,” he told her.

  Freya could feel her chest tighten.

  Here it comes, she told herself. He doesn’t want to deal with me anymore. Why would he? Why would any man want someone so broken?

  Tears fil
led her eyes. Freya stared down at her scarred wrists, and she began to ramble.

  “I get it. You don’t want to deal with me anymore. I figured this was just a summer fling anyhow. I can see why you wouldn’t want anything long term with me. Look at me. I’m a mess. I was hoping for more, but I understand now why that can’t happen. Why would any man want someone like me? I’ll show myself out to the guest bedroom now.”

  She tried to get up off the bed, but a strong hand clamped down on her arm and held her firmly.

  “Wait. What are you talking about?” Brian stammered. “Where is this coming from? That’s…not what I was going to say.”

  Freya sat on the bed, feeling confused. If he wasn’t going to kick her to the curb, then what was going on?

  “Then what…” She couldn’t finish since Brian held a finger to her lips.

  “Please. Let me just tell you. It’s…the opposite of what you’re thinking.”

  Freya’s eyes widened. The opposite?

  “See...Freya…the thing is…is that…I’m in love with you. There. I said it.”

  She sat there in shock. Her heart felt like it was going a mile a minute. He was in love with her?

  “You’re…you’re in love with me?” She asked, her voice coming out almost as a squeak.

  “Yeah. I’ve been coming to terms with the fact myself. I’ve never been in love before, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I’m sorry if I came off as odd today. It’s been weighing heavily on me. I just hope that it’s reciprocated—even a little bit. I know it’s fast. Hell, this whole thing feels like a whirlwind to me. But I guess what I’m asking is if you feel the same way.”

  Without even thinking, Freya replied, “Yes!”

  She reached out and hugged him, holding on tightly. His strong embrace was the most comforting thing in the world.

  “Oh, thank God,” Brian breathed. “You have no idea how much I’ve been stressing over this.”

  When the hug ended, Freya frowned and asked, “Why would you stress over it? You know I wouldn’t have…done the things we did together if I didn’t feel the same way.”

  Brian sighed and said, “Yeah. I know you’re the type of woman to settle down before giving herself to a man, but these are odd circumstances. And I have to say that these feelings scare the shit out of me.”

  “I’m…glad that you told me. You have no idea how much I was freaking out today.”

  Brian laughed and said, “With the way you were talking, I have an idea.” Then his expression turned serious. “Why would you think that no man would want you? You’re the most beautiful, most desirable woman I’ve ever met.”

  Tears welled up in Freya’s eyes when she said, “Because I’ve been…tainted both physically and emotionally. Who would want to deal with that?”

  “I’m going to stop you right there. Sure, you’ve been through hell, but you’ve come out the other side stronger than ever. Look at the progress you’ve made in a few short weeks.”

  Freya floundered.

  “Yes, but what about my scars?”

  “Who the fuck cares? They don’t make you any less beautiful—at least in my eyes.”

  Freya felt her face grow hot and turned away from him. She loved and trusted him. She wanted to be with him for as long as possible. She wanted…

  Something stirred within her womb—the familiar tingle of desire. She knew what she wanted now. If she were to ever be free of James’s influence, it would take this step. It would be a big one, but she wanted to do it with Brian.

  “Brian…”

  “Yes, baby?”

  “Will you make love to me?”

  He smiled and said, “We can certainly do a repeat of last night. That was amazing.”

  Flustered, Freya told him, “No. That’s not what I meant. I meant like…actual sex.”

  Brian’s expression changed immediately. He looked shocked. She suddenly felt weird for having to ask, but it was necessary. Brian wouldn’t try anything like that with her unless she was specific. He wouldn’t do anything without her consent.

  “Baby, are you sure? That’s a huge step for you. It was only two nights ago that you first allowed me to touch down there. It was only last week that you freaked out when I kissed you.”

  That was true. Maybe things were moving too quickly, but she knew she needed this in so many ways. She needed him.

  “Yes, I’m sure.”

  “Well, hell, you won’t hear any complaints on this end.” He grabbed her arms and pulled her in close. “Come here.”

  He grabbed the nape of her neck and went in for a long kiss. His soft lips on hers stirred her desire even more. Yes, she was sure that she was ready. It might be uncomfortable, but she needed to do this.

  When the kiss broke, he told her, “If at any time during this, you want to stop, just tell me, and we’ll stop immediately. Okay?”

  Freya nodded, relieved that Brian was such a sweetheart.

  “Okay,” she told him.

  “Good. Now, let’s do something about your clothes. You’re wearing way too much,” he said with a wink.

  8:16 PM

  Brian stared down at his woman. They were both naked now, and he couldn’t help but admire her beauty. Her big brown eyes were wide with anticipation, while her long brown hair was splayed across the pillow. Her soft facial features could bring a man to his knees, though it was her inner beauty that he loved the most about her.

  “I’m going to get you warmed up a bit before we dive into this,” he said softly and hovered his body over hers.

  He kissed her deeply, feeling warm lips and tongue. Then, he trailed tiny kisses around her face, her jaw, her neck, her chest, and then to her breasts where he spent some time nibbling and suckling. She moaned in pleasure, and he kept his hand busy, running them up and down her body as he worked.

  Brian then worked his way down to the junction at her thighs, parting them with his hands for better access. His kisses continued over her mound to her clit where he spent some time sucking and licking. Her hips bucked into his mouth, and his cock strained painfully as he knew how much pleasure he was giving her.

  As much as he wanted to finish her off like that, he had a long way to go in preparing her for his cock, so he lifted his head and told her, “I’m going to run my fingers along the folds of your pussy. Is that okay?”

  She nodded enthusiastically, eyes closed.

  He gently ran his fingers up and down through the folds of her pussy several times and noted that she was still relaxed—and also that she was wet as hell.

  Then, he cleared his throat and said, “I’m going to slowly put one of my fingers inside of you. Tell me to stop if it’s too much.

  “Okay,” she said softly.

  He slowly but surely pushed an index finger into her, feeling her wet heat around him. She stiffened but didn’t say anything.

  “I’m going to start moving my finger in and out of you to mimic what my cock will do to you. Are you still with me?”

  “Yes.”

  Brian began to slowly pump his finger inside of her. He then took his thumb and began rotating it around her clit, rubbing on it as he continued fucking her with his other finger. Her body began to relax, and a slight smile crossed her face. She was starting to enjoy herself again. Good.

  “I’m going to add another finger in now,” he told her. “You still okay?”

  “Yes,” she breathed.

  She stiffened again as her pussy stretched to accommodate another finger. Brian was hard as hell thinking about his cock being inside of her, but he needed to make sure that he did this right.

  When she began to relax again with the two fingers, he knew he couldn’t stall much longer with her. It was now or never.

  He withdrew his fingers and told her, “Okay, baby, I’m going to get a condom out of the drawer. Give me a moment to put it on.”

  When he said that, a look of utter disappointment and hurt crossed her face. He had no idea what the hell he had just
done, but he needed to make it right quickly.

  8:35 PM

  Freya’s heart sank when she heard Brian mention the use of a condom, but she shouldn’t have been surprised.

  Of course, he wants to use one, she told herself. You’re…tainted…dirty.

  She felt tears welling up in her eyes, and she couldn’t help but start to feel sorry for herself again. All those feelings that she thought that she had buried over the last few days flew back up in her face. Maybe she hadn’t been able to get rid of James’s influence after all?

  “What’s wrong, baby?” Brian asked softly. “I did something wrong. What did I do wrong?”

  How could she explain this to Brian without making him angry? She realized that she should just suck it up and let him put the condom on even though she desperately wanted to feel all of him inside of her.

  “It’s…it’s nothing,” she lied. “Go get the condom.”

  “Like hell it’s nothing,” he said. “Tell me.”

  Blinking back tears, she finally said, “It’s just that…I know you want the condom on because I was raped, and you think I’m dirty. I’m not carrying anything by the way. I’m clean.”

  Brian’s jaw dropped.

  “Baby, no! I don’t think that at all. I wanted to wear a condom, so I don’t get you pregnant, not because I think you’re dirty. Dear Lord, is this what you really think?”

  Freya nodded slowly.

  “Well, stop thinking about it.”

  That was good advice in practice, but it was hard. Brian made her feel wonderful, but those old thoughts had their way of creeping back into her head.

  “I’ll try.”

  “Good.”

  “I’m on the pill by the way,” she reminded him.

  Brian smiled and said, “I know, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to leave it up to just that for protection.”

  “I do.”

  “That’s fine with me. I’d prefer having my dick bareback in your pussy. Trust me on that one.”

  Freya nodded and wiped stray tears out of her eyes. Brian lowered his head to her mouth and kissed her gently. Then, he moved his body completely on top of hers so that he was across the length of her. He felt heavy, but it wasn’t an oppressive feeling—not like it had been with James. There was trust with Brian. There was no fear.