Sweet Sound of Silence

by Melanie Dawn

  “You’re welcome, sweetie. I love you. Keep me posted, okay?”

  “I will,” I told her, feeling a little better already. “I love you, too.”

  FALL BREAK WAS just around the corner. The day of the lake party had finally come. People had been talking about this party for weeks. Apparently, it had become an annual event with a bonfire and everything. A lot of people had even been talking about camping out that night.

  All I knew was that I couldn’t wait to see Ian. I’d adjusted to college life well enough, but I was eager to get another little taste of home.

  I flew into Ian’s arms the minute my greedy eyes fell on him. “I’ve missed you so much!” I cried, squeezing him until we couldn’t breathe.

  He chuckled. “I’ve missed you too, babe.”

  I glanced at the guy standing beside him. “Who’s this?” I asked.

  Ian introduced him. “This is Brett Wolfe. He’s a buddy of mine. Brett, this is Alexis.”

  Brett towered over me. Looking down, he said, “Great to meet you, Alexis. I hope you don’t mind that I tagged along.”

  I smiled. He kinda reminded me of Prince Harry with reddish-blond hair and mischievous blue eyes. “No. Not at all. It’s nice to meet you.”

  I glanced back at Ian. “Come meet my roommate.” I told him.

  I thought Gia would faint the minute I opened the door. She was sitting on her bed with her earbuds in her ears when we stepped into the room. Quickly jerking them out of her ears, she stood to her feet. Making a bee line for me, she almost tripped over her shoes on the floor.

  Ian squelched a laugh, and I bit my tongue. Poor Gia. I was so embarrassed for her.

  “Hi,” she said as soon as she recovered from her humiliating and ungraceful introduction. “I’m Gia.” She gave a little wave.

  Ian put a hand to his chest. “I’m Ian.” Then pointing at Brett, he said, “This is my friend, Brett. It’s good to meet you, Gia.”

  Gia had a thing for redheads, or any type of heads for that matter. At least, any time I caught her staring at other guys on campus, she’d remind me that she and Dane were not dating exclusively and that she could ogle any guy she pleased. So it was no surprise that she stood, gaping at the beautiful specimen standing before her.

  I nudged her to bring her back to planet Earth.

  “Oh,” she sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s nice to meet you both.”

  I couldn’t be sure, but I felt certain Brett was looking at her with the same amount of lust. Ian wrapped his arm around my waist.

  “I hate to break up the party,” he chuckled, indicating the two gawking love birds, “but, are you guys ready to head to the lake? I’ve got a cooler full of beer in the back of my truck.”

  Gia nodded, snapping back to attention. “I’m ready. Let’s go.” She grabbed a blanket, her phone, and her favorite coozie, then we were off.

  Brett and Gia sat in the back seat of Ian’s silver dual cab Chevy truck. They seemed to hit it off quickly. No surprise there. But I did catch her looking dreamily into the rearview mirror. I guess it was kinda hard to see Ian as a normal teenager rather than pop music’s newest sensation.

  Ian reached over, clasping my hand in his. I smiled warmly at him. I missed my best friend more than anything. I remembered sitting in the hot tub late at night just talking after mom and Chris had gone to bed. He’d told me how scared he was of success. He’d seen Chris’s personal life aired like dirty laundry through the tabloids, and he was afraid of that, too. He’d seen his favorite idols fall down the rabbit hole of success, losing their sense of reality. Celebrities who thought they were invincible, but succumbed to a life of drugs and alcohol. But he loved music and the taste of fame and fortune too much to give it up. The Fillmore in Charlotte had reached maximum capacity the last time he’d performed there, and he left the stage with a new sense of confidence, a pocket full of cash, and that small taste of the celebrity life that kept him pushing forward. I just hoped he’d keep his head straight. But celebrities never do. I’d seen more than one teen idol make that descent into crazy town. Watching Ian go through it would be my worst nightmare.

  I squeezed his hand, and he glanced at me and smiled. Once again, I was reminded of my best friend. Not Ian Absher. Just Ian.

  IT WAS GETTING dark. People had already started congregating on the sandy shore of the lake. Blankets were spread, coolers were open, and music was blasting. A couple of guys were throwing a football down by the shore. A few others had built a bonfire and were sitting around it, drinking beer.

  “Hey Wolfe,” Ian called to Brett. “Help me out here, man.” He grabbed one side of the massive cooler by the handle.

  Brett walked around the truck and grabbed the other side. They lifted it and carried it down to the spot Gia had claimed for us. She’d spread her blanket out on the shore near the fire. Ian popped the top on a can, and handed it to me. I sipped greedily and then settled down on the blanket next to Gia. Brett handed her a beer and headed back to the truck for something.

  I glanced at Gia as she watched Brett walk away. “Aren’t you worried about Dane being here and seeing you with Brett?” I asked.

  She shrugged. “What for? Dane and I went to the movies. Once. Nothing serious. He knows we aren’t, like… a couple. Besides, look at him over there flirting with all those girls.”

  I turned to look at Dane, who was showing off his abs to several desperate-looking sorority girls. Their high-pitched barks of laughter reminded me of submarine sonar pings. I nodded to Gia, who grinned and continued to stare at Brett’s ass as he leaned into the truck to grab his Frisbee.

  Before long, Gia and I were both giggling about how sexy Ian and Brett looked tossing the Frisbee back and forth in the sand. I was working on my third beer and could already feel the effects—jovial and relaxed. Ian always teased that I was a lightweight, and I was okay with that. I didn’t want to be a falling down, take-advantage-of-me, drunk girl like some of the other chicks at the party were. One girl was already puking in the bushes nearby. I never wanted to be that girl.

  Fletcher, Lance, Dane, and Moss were playing a game of beer pong on a picnic table nearby. I watched them bounce the ball back and forth, taking shot after shot. Brynlee was cheering Lance on, waving her Mike’s Hard Lemonade bottle high in the air as she danced to the music coming from someone’s car stereo.

  “Fuck off, asshole,” I’d heard Moss tell some dude who drunkenly attempted to catch his ball in midair and ended up knocking over five or six cups of beer. Moss grabbed him by the collar and shoved him off toward the water. The guy stumbled around for a second before swinging and missing Moss’s face by a long shot.

  Moss laughed. By then, I’d recognized Tim, the stranger who’d been hanging out by the SigUp house.

  Tim pointed his finger at Moss. “Fuck you, man,” he slurred.

  Moss laughed again, patronizing him.

  Tim bowed up to Moss, saying, “Go ahead. Laugh. Payback’s a bitch.”

  By then, Lance and Dane had walked up behind Moss. Dane tried to pull Moss away. “Come on, dude. He’s not worth it,” Dane insisted, tugging Moss by the shoulder.

  Moss rolled his shoulder out from under Dane’s grasp. “Nah, man. I think this asshole’s looking for a fight,” he snarled, jabbing a finger into Tim’s chest.

  Tim narrowed his eyes and cocked his head to the side. “You have no idea who you’re messing with. Do you?”

  Moss chuckled. “Sure I do,” he mocked. “A pussy.”

  With that remark, Tim reared back and before he could throw the first punch, Moss had tackled him onto the ground, pinning his hands behind him. Tim writhed and kicked beneath him, but was unable to break free.

  By then, the boys had pulled Moss off and away from Tim, but not before Moss kicked a mouthful of sand into Tim’s face.

  “You better watch your fucking back,” Tim bellowed, spitting the sand out.

  “Ha! Better luck next time, asshole,” Moss mocked
him as the guys hauled him back toward Fletcher’s truck.

  Tim glanced in the direction of the bonfire and caught my gaze. I looked away quickly, trying to avoid his sinister glare. He pulled himself up off the ground, spitting sand and wiping the trickle of blood from his nose. I could feel his menacing eyes on me in the darkness. I tried to ignore it. Within seconds, he stalked off. After a minute or two, I heard the loud roar of a motorcycle and peeling tires as it barreled away from the party. I breathed a sigh of relief that he was gone.

  Ian and Brett were getting drunker by the minute. They had long since stopped playing Frisbee, too drunk to see only one flying through the air. A couple of people had recognized Ian and had cornered him to talk about music and what ‘being famous’ was like. He enjoyed every minute of it, with his chest puffed out and everything.

  The bonfire was roaring. I watched the flames, licking the night sky. I was consumed by the dancing orange-red glow, seeing the ashes float high above it, when I noticed a pair of eyes staring at me from across the fire.

  Ryder Hawkley.

  Lifting his beer to his lips, he guzzled half of it, but his eyes never left mine. His dark hair fell into his face, but I could still clearly see his bright blue eyes staring at me. I wouldn’t have called it an angry stare, but it wasn’t exactly pleasant either. Then again, I wondered why he even bothered coming to these events at all. It wasn’t like he ever interacted with anyone. Maybe deep down, he hated the solitude. Maybe all the parties were just a tiny bit of normalcy in his otherwise screwed up life. Who the hell knew?

  Although people were laughing and talking all around him, he sat there alone. The hood of his gray jacket was pulled onto his head, but the long locks of his bangs still flopped in his face. He looked bored.

  And if I were being honest, so was I. Forget Dane. Gia was busy sucking face with Brett, and Ian had found a group of guys to climb the bridge with. They all sat up there, dangling their feet over the edge, probably trying to decide who would jump first into the water below.

  I stood up, gathering my nerve to go speak to Ryder. After all, my mom didn’t raise a snob. Making my way through the maze of blankets and couples, who were too busy making out to care that someone was stepping over them, I finally managed to get to the other side of the fire.

  “Hi,” I said shyly as he took another pull from his bottle of beer. Of course he didn’t acknowledge me. What more did I expect? I didn’t really know what I was expecting, but I sat down beside him anyway.

  “I hear they do these big parties at the lake every year before Fall Break,” I said. He just sat there, soaking in the chaos of it all. I struggled for words. Now I feel stupid. I never should have come over here. It’s not like he is just going to strike up a conversation.

  I was about to stand up and leave when he reached into his cooler. Barely glancing at me, he popped the top and handed it to me. I guess that was his invitation for me to stay. I smiled at him. “Thanks,” I said, watching the light of the fire dance in the cool hue of his eyes.

  Taking a sip of the beer, I sat back and watched the crowd. Sitting in his silent bubble, I could see the party through his eyes. Some people were dancing, swaying to the beat. Mounds of couples were lying on blankets, making out. Some groups were huddled together, smoking weed and passing joints. Others were just standing around, congregating and shootin’ the breeze. We sat quietly, side by side, soaking it all in. The tranquility encased us.

  “So this is what it’s like for you?” I observed.

  He glanced at me, cocking his head a little.

  I shrugged. “I’m just saying, it’s like you’re here, but you’re not really here. You’re in this silent bubble watching everyone live around you. It must be lonely.”

  He dropped his head, glaring at the beer bottle in his hand. Several locks of hair fell down across his face, covering his eyes.

  Under my breath, I whispered, “What do you have hiding behind all that hair anyway?” I wasn’t really thinking about the impact of my words on him until he tossed his empty bottle to the ground, and stood up swiftly.

  “I’m sorry,” I called. But it was too late. He was already stomping away.

  I heard Ian yell in the distance. “Come up here, Alexis. Jump with me!”

  “You’re crazy, Ian!” I yelled back.

  He tried to convince me. “Come on, baby! It’ll be fun.”

  I walked up the muddy bank to get to the bridge, but not because I had any intentions on jumping. I was planning to talk Ian out of it. When I reached the top, I walked toward the middle of the bridge where the guys were standing.

  “There she is. My brave girl,” he beamed, looking smugly at the other guys. Apparently I’d just walked into a pissing contest. “You gonna jump with me, baby?” Ian’s words were a little slurred. Clearly, he’d had enough to drink.

  “No, Ian. It’s dangerous. Don’t do this.”

  “Aww. You didn’t come up here to spoil the fun did you?” he pouted.

  “No. I just thought maybe you’d want to come back down and sing for us. A few people have asked if you would.” An opportunity to show off his talent almost always worked.

  Ian smiled. “I will. I promise. Right after I make this jump with you.”

  I shook my head nervously. “I’m not going. I don’t want to.”

  Ian stood up on the ledge. “Come on baby. It’ll be fun.”

  I reached out to him. “Don’t Ian. You have a concert soon. You don’t want to do anything to mess that up.”

  His drunkenness was out of control as he swayed on the ledge. “I’m not gonna mess anything up. This is gonna be awesome.”

  I climbed up on the ledge with him, wrapping my arm around him. My fear of him falling kept me from worrying about my own fear of heights. “Come on, babe. Climb down. This isn’t safe.”

  He grabbed my hand. “On your mark,” he called.

  “No!” I shouted, trying to pull my hand away.

  “Get set,” he insisted, looking at me with a hunger for an adrenaline rush.

  “No, Ian!” I shrieked as he tugged my hand, refusing to let go.

  “Go!” It was the last thing I heard before my own screams pierced my ears as I tumbled in the darkness, plunging toward the water below… alone.

  THAT GIRL MESSED with my head more than any person I’d ever known. I didn’t even care that I’d left all my shit sitting there. I just needed to get away from the girl who seemed to see right through me, peering straight into my soul.

  I was almost back to my car when I heard a scream. Seconds later, I heard a giant splash into the water. My heart jolted in my chest. What the hell?!

  I raced back to the water’s edge. Everyone at the party was still as they were, joking and talking as if nothing had happened. There were a few guys on the bridge, laughing hysterically. I looked out into the water, but didn’t see anything. Only a few ripples and waves.

  But I was sure I heard that splash. Right? I looked around at the party-goers too self-absorbed to notice anything else. I looked up at the guys and their brouhaha on the bridge as they chinked their beer bottles and guffawed like a bunch of douchebags. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. Maybe I didn’t hear what I thought I’d heard. I turned to leave, but something nagged at me.

  One of the douchebags leaned over the edge of the bridge. “Told ya it’d be fun, Alexis!” he called.

  Alexis?

  But when no one answered, he yelled, “Alexis!” Still no answer.

  Fuck! Alexis is in that water? My mind blanked, and I found myself sprinting into the water, diving in when it got waist deep. I swam into the blackness, blinded and frantic. My lungs burned for oxygen and I kicked to the surface for another gulp of air, diving again deep into the water. With every second that passed, my mind slipped further and further into its dark place—the place where memory and reality collide.

  Chloe! I writhed and kicked in the water, reaching for her… for anything.

  It was in my fi
nal moment of hope that my fingers grazed something. I desperately reached out, fisting whatever it was in my hand. I kicked toward the surface as fast as I could. My lungs were giving out on me. As my head broke the surface, I instinctively gasped for air.

  Instantly sobered by the sight of me dragging her out of the water, the asshole from the bridge bellowed, “Alexis!” and slid down the embankment to get to us.

  I wasn’t sure what happened next. All I knew was that I was back in that moment on that fateful day, pulling my baby sister out of the water. I completely fucking blanked. No. No, no, no! My eyes were wide with fear. Not again. Please! Not again!

  I GASPED FOR breath, sputtering on the water in my throat. Someone was dragging me out of the water and onto the shore. All I could see were dark figures standing all around me and Ryder hovering over me, wide-eyed with panic. He was shaking me, dripping wet and gasping for breath. I finally heaved a breath and coughed out, “Ryder.”

  But he didn’t hear me. His eyes were glassy, and he was trembling from fear. “Ryder,” I choked out, sucking another breath.

  He shook his head violently, eyes wild, grasping my shoulders firmly. The faraway look in his eyes was frightening. I tried to sit up, but he kept me held down, squeezing my shoulders.

  I immediately regained my senses. “Ryder,” I sputtered, “I’m okay. It’s okay!” But he was hearing none of it. Ryder was there in physical form, but his mind was somewhere else. He shook me forcibly, squeezing his eyes shut.

  “Dude,” Ian growled, grabbing his shoulder, “she’s fine! Back off.”

  Ryder grabbed his hand and flung it off of him.

  Ian shoved him. “I said she’s fine, man,” he barked.

  Ryder’s unfocused eyes stared through me, but he continued to clutch my shoulders, shaking his head with unfathomable pain and remorse.

  “Ryder,” I commanded. “It’s okay. Look. I’m okay.”

  Just then, he snapped out of his trance and cocked his head to the side, looking at me as though he didn’t recognize me.