Beautiful Torture

by Emery Jacobs

  My shoulders relax as I sink down into my chair. The room fills with the sound of the tambourine followed by Heath’s sweet voice. All of his nervousness is gone. This is the most rewarding part of my job.

  * * * * *

  I run my hand over the lock on my guitar case to be sure it is secure. My eyes dart around rapidly, making one final sweep of the area surrounding The Drunken Peacock. No Caleb anywhere to be found. As soon as I left the school this afternoon, I walked the short three blocks to my apartment to pick up my guitar. Then I walked to the shop as quickly as my feet would lead me. The small crowds were familiar with many of my fans stopping by to say hi. But still no Caleb. Just a few weeks ago, I couldn’t get away from him fast enough, and now I want to see him. I won’t rest until I apologize for all the shit I’ve done.

  Noise coming from inside the shop spurs me to turn toward the large glass window that displays The Drunken Peacock. Smitty is sitting at the counter. When he catches my gaze, he nods toward the door. I guess he’s summoning me to come inside.

  I was angry and embarrassed that Saturday following my encounter with Caleb. My mindset was to tell Smitty. I wanted somebody to be mad at Caleb with me. But the reality of the situation was that it was all my fault.

  With my case in hand, I make my way inside the shop. Smitty holds the door open as I tread inside.

  I love this guy, but to someone who doesn’t know him—Smitty Lawson is one scary looking dude. He is about six-foot-five with broad shoulders and huge arms. His hair is long, red, and messy. Every inch of skin, other than his face, is covered in ink. And I’ve never seen him dressed in anything other than a gray t-shirt, dark colored jeans, and combat boots.

  “Rex tells me you were looking for me a few weeks ago,” Smitty says.

  “Yeah, I was,” I say softly.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Everything is fine. I just stopped by to say hello, since it’s been a while since I have seen you,” I tell him. God, I hate to lie, but I hate the truth even more.

  “Rex said it was a Saturday morning. You know I don’t work weekends. It makes me wonder why you really stopped by. Spill it, Henley,” he demands.

  Suddenly, I feel like a small child who is in trouble for lying to her father.

  “Really, Smitty. I didn’t need anything. My days run together, and I just forgot about you spending Saturdays with your family,” I lie, again.

  “Haven’t seen you around much. And I was worried something was wrong. I don’t like to worry about you. But if you say everything is okay, then I believe you.” He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes gently.

  “I promise I’m fine. Still working my teaching job and making it downtown a few days to play. My life couldn’t be better.” I force a smile on my face before continuing, “Thanks for looking out for me.”

  “If you ever need anything, you know where to find me—except on the weekend.” He chuckles before walking away.

  I step out of the shop and turn right, heading down the sidewalk toward my apartment. The roar of a loud engine grabs my attention, so I slow my pace as a black and silver motorcycle pulls into the narrow alleyway next to The Drunken Peacock. I move to the right hoping to walk around it, but the bike comes to a stop causing me to stumble a bit. Luckily, I’m able to keep myself from falling. My focus drops to my feet as I take a few steps backward, hoping to maneuver my way around the inconvenience parked in front of me.

  “Henley,” a familiar voice rumbles. My gaze immediately finds Caleb sitting on the bike with his helmet in his hands.

  “Hi,” I tell him with a smile on my face.

  “You played in front of the shop today?”

  “Yeah, for a while. But now I’m heading out.”

  A loud clap of thunder explodes behind me. A subtle reminder that it’s time for me to apologize, so I can get home before the storm.

  “I really need to go.” My lips quiver a bit as I say the words—I want to say more—tell him I’m sorry. But it doesn’t feel like the right time, so I decide to wait.

  “Let me give you a ride somewhere. It looks like it’s about to rain.”

  “No thanks. I’d rather take my chances walking in the rain than on the back of a bike.” I nod toward his motorcycle before continuing, “And…I have my Gibson. Don’t you think it may be a bit dangerous to get caught out in a storm on a bike while balancing this case?” I swing my guitar away from my body so he can get a better look at how big it is.

  He grunts out a deep sexy laugh. Suddenly, the thought of me being pressed against his wet body seems like a great idea.

  “Not on my bike. My 4Runner is parked around back.”

  “Oh,” is all I can manage to say. I feel like an idiot. Of course, he meant his SUV.

  “Oh? Is that a yes or no?” he asks.

  Before I can answer, he cranks his motorcycle. The engine roars to life as he slides the helmet over his head.

  I guess he assumes I mean no because he takes off down the alleyway and pulls in behind Smitty’s place.

  Thunder rumbles in the background as a heavy mist falls from the sky. The weather’s about to get ugly, and I do not want to walk home in a storm.

  My only other options are Caleb driving me home or staying here. If he takes me home, then he will know where I live. If I stay here, I may do something terrible. So, I take a deep breath, grip the handle of my case a little tighter, and walk toward the stairs leading to his apartment.

  Chapter 9

  Caleb

  She would rather walk in the rain than be alone in a vehicle with me. If I didn’t know what she thought about me before, I do now. I park my Harley before unlatching my helmet and jerking it off my head. I had decided during rehab that life is too short. And if I ever felt something—anything for someone—I would go for it. No holding back. Ever. If I would’ve let Piper know my true feelings all those years ago, she would still be alive. Her death caused me to spiral out of control, which in the end, almost cost me my life. But I’ll be damned if I beg Henley or anybody else to spend time with me.

  I swing my leg over the bike, set my helmet on the seat, and then lock it. I chuckle before shaking my head. I’m being overly ridiculous about some chick who I know absolutely nothing about. Not because I haven’t tried, but because she won’t loosen up enough to even talk to me.

  It begins to drizzle, and before I reach the edge of the building, the drizzle turns into a downpour. Dammit! I change my pace from a quick walk to a steady jog. As I round the corner, my feet come to a sudden halt. It’s Henley. She’s sitting on the bottom step that leads to my apartment. She’s soaked—her long dirty blonde hair plastered to her head, and the gray t-shirt she’s wearing is completely drenched, revealing a dark red bra. My body freezes and all I can do is watch her sit in the rain as if she doesn’t have a care in this world. She’s fucking beautiful—perfect.

  I take a few steps closer to her and clear my throat. She jumps as if I caught her doing something wrong. Her lips curl up into a smile that covers her entire face. And like a reflex, my lips do the same thing. This chick has me so fucking confused. One minute she hates me, and the next she’s waiting for me in the rain.

  “Hey!” Rex’s voice breaks through my thoughts. I drag my eyes away from hers and focus on him standing under the overhang in front of the shop. He pulls a drag off his cigarette before continuing, “What the hell are you doing? It’s pouring down rain, and your fucking ass is soaked.”

  He points out the obvious, dumbass.

  “I’m heading upstairs. Why?”

  I realize he can’t see Henley because the side of the brick building extends out far enough to block his view of the stairwell.

  “It doesn't look like you’re going upstairs to me. What I see is you standing in the rain smiling like an idiot. Hey—you haven’t been drinking or snorting anything, have you?” he hollers.

  I glance at Henley, and her smile fades into something that looks more like a frown. Shit. She he
ard him.

  “No and no. I just got back from taking my bike out. Oh, and mind your own fucking business,” I growl.

  “I’m just trying to look out for you. You’re the first drug addict I’ve ever known, so I don’t know how easy it is to—you know—to fall off the wagon. So, don’t be a dick about it. Let a friend show concern, buddy.” He releases a puff of smoke from his lips before dropping the cigarette to the ground and using the toe of his boot to kill the small flame. He shakes his head and then walks back into the shop.

  Rex can piss me off quicker than just about anybody else I know. I want to yell at his ass and tell him that I’m not a fucking drug addict. I was at one time, but I’m recovered. I work hard every fucking day to stay sober. And I’m winning. But Henley doesn’t know me, and now thanks to him she probably doesn’t want to.

  “Are you gonna stand down there in the rain all day or let me in? I’m freezing,” she yells from the top of the stairwell.

  Without hesitation, I sprint up the steps hoping like hell I don’t bust my ass. Once the door is unlocked and open, we stumble over the threshold away from the pounding rain. She props her guitar case against the wall, and I rush to close the door. My right foot slips on the wet floor, and I reach for the wall to stop my fall. Luckily, I’m able to catch myself before I hit the floor. Henley’s squeal turns into laughter. It’s only then I realize that I have her pressed against the door with my chest.

  I push a piece of wet hair behind her ear, and she doesn’t move. The sound of our breathing consumes the tiny space I live in. She inhales and then exhales. Then I follow…inhale—exhale. No words. No movement. Just like before in the rain. Her eyes. My eyes. Staring. Taking everything that this moment has to give.

  The breathing and staring last for seconds, minutes, or maybe hours. Time doesn’t really matter because I could stay like this forever, even in wet clothes. My body pressed against hers.

  Her gaze moves from my eyes to my lips and then back to my eyes. I smile—she smiles. God, she’s fucking adorable.

  It’s obvious we both want the same thing, so I don’t waste another second. I press my lips to hers. She immediately tenses, so I pull away and look into her eyes.

  “Do you want me to stop?” I breathe.

  She shakes her head, and her lips tremble before she leans in bringing them back to mine. Her mouth parts slightly, which is just enough to give me the green light to deepen the kiss. My hands cup her face as my tongue tangles with hers.

  She clutches my wet t-shirt before a moan escapes her throat. And I swear it is the hottest sound I’ve ever heard. I press my entire body into hers, but the nearness isn’t enough. Fuck, I need more.

  My lips move from her mouth to her jaw and then I scatter kisses down her neck. She leans into me before grabbing my hair. And that one simple gesture drives me crazy. It’s not her tongue moving with mine, or the moans from deep in her throat, but her hands in my hair. The tender grabbing, pulling, and tugging shoots desire straight to my cock.

  Without hesitation, I break the kiss before scooping her up in my arms. She wraps her legs around my waist and buries her face in my neck. Neither of us speaks as I make my way across the floor and into my bedroom.

  Chapter 10

  Henley

  Lust. The feeling is so intense that I may actually implode. Never in my entire life have I been so physically aware of my body. It’s frightening the way his touch affects me.

  I look at him. He looks at me. We both breathe like we’ve been running a marathon. There is a tingling between my legs that is quickly changing into something much more intense. I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life. Or, at least that’s the way I feel at this moment. I’m nervous and maybe a little scared. Not of Caleb and not of sex, but of how out of control I feel.

  Sex. I’ve been there, done that a few times, but never with the intense emotion that I’m feeling with Caleb. In high school, the only reason I lost my virginity was because it was the cool thing to do. Really, it was because all of my friends had already done it, and I was tired of not being included in their conversations. I didn’t want a boyfriend, so I picked a guy from a school across town. My plan was perfect. One date with sex. Mission accomplished. But it was nothing like I expected. Not even close. So, I decided to try it again in college my sophomore year—with Justin. He was my chemistry lab partner, and I knew that I’d probably never see him again after that class ended. I waited until the day of our final exam in that class. After the test, I went back to his apartment and let him have his way with me. Ugh. It was terrible. For me, it was worse than the first time. I had wondered if he’d ever had sex before but didn’t have the heart to ask. Then there was the third and final time. It was with some random guy I met at a bar the first week I was in New Orleans. Well, actually the sex happened in the women’s bathroom at the bar. No, I wasn’t drunk because I don’t drink. I thought he was cute with his blond hair and dimples, but the sex was just okay. I guess. And that was about two years ago.

  “I need you naked. Now,” Caleb demands, dragging me away from my thoughts.

  I glance around his bedroom. The same room I’ve slept in many nights before. Only now, it belongs to Caleb. That thought sends my mind reeling. How many girls has he had in this room? In his bed? Don’t think about it, Henley. You’ll ruin everything before it even gets started.

  I immediately bring my attention back to Caleb and nod. Then I grab the hem of my sticky gray t-shirt and rip it from my body. Next goes my bra. Before I can kick my flats off my feet, he’s on his knees gently slipping each foot free from the soggy shoes. Then he works quickly with the button of my jeans before peeling them from my body. I step free of the wet mess before he backs me up toward the bed. His breathing is rapid as he looks down at me through hooded eyes.

  He gently guides me to his bed and lays me back onto the mattress. Now I’m lying across his bed with nothing on, except my thin wet panties. Desire flashes through his eyes, and he climbs onto the bed quickly. I don’t realize he’s so close until his tongue has circled my right nipple. Then he moves to my left and then back to my right—back and forth—pulling and tugging until I’m almost to my breaking point.

  A loud moan escapes my lips before I whisper, “Caleb.”

  I had completely forgotten about his wet clothes until he pushes his rock hard cock into my center.

  “Oh, God,” I breathe.

  I lift my ass from the mattress and circle my hips until I find the perfect rhythm. God, I need him now.

  He lifts himself off me, and I immediately miss the contact. I rise up to my elbows before lifting my head to get a better look. And he does not disappoint.

  First, he kicks off his boots. Within seconds, his shirt, pants, and boxer briefs are gone—scattered all over the floor. It’s fascinating to watch him reveal every inch of his body to me. The tattoos that cover his arms and chest only add to his beauty. His erection catches me off guard. I could feel it earlier. It was hard, even through his jeans, but to see it sends a shiver down my spine that stops between my legs.

  “Caleb,” I whisper again.

  A certain part of me wants to tell him he’s beautiful. The most beautiful guy I’ve ever seen. But I can’t do that. He doesn’t need to know how he makes me feel or what this means to me. Because, after today, it will be only a memory. Hopefully, a good one that I can keep with me when shit gets bad, and it will get bad. I just don’t know when.

  His mouth meets mine again. He tastes like sex—which sounds stupid. But everything about him makes me think about sex. The way he looks at me through those chocolate colored eyes. The scent that has taken over the entire apartment. The way he moves his body. And the confidence that radiates from him.

  His erection presses against my center, and the tingling is back in full force.

  “Hmmm,” I moan.

  These panties have to come off now. I put my hands against his chest and push him backward. He pulls his lips fr
om mine, and I immediately regret it.

  “Do you want me to stop?” he asks with his eyes searching my face for an answer.

  “Yes. I mean no. I want you to stop kissing me and help me get these wet panties off.”

  He smirks as if he’s happy with my answer. His fingers work quickly to tear the wet material from my body. He throws them across the room and then leans in close and whispers, “Better?”

  “Not yet,” I sigh.

  I wrap my arms around his waist and tug his body into mine. Under most circumstances, I would be freezing because of the wet clothes I just shed. But the heat radiating from his body is more than enough to keep me warm.

  “Not yet?” he asks.

  “Not until you’re inside of me.” I can’t believe those words just came out of my mouth. When did I become so brave and bold during sex?

  He grabs a condom from the nightstand beside his bed and rips it open with his teeth. My body shakes with both nervousness and anticipation.

  He lifts off me just long enough to roll the condom over his erection. Then his gaze finds mine. Thoughts flicker through my mind. What does he see when he looks into my eyes? Hopefully, a woman who wants him to fuck her so hard she will still be thinking about it a month from now. But, most likely, he sees a scared twenty-six-year-old girl who’s not afraid of him—but of life.

  He stretches his body over mine. Suspended. Hovering. So near, but not touching me. All the negative thoughts creeping through my mind are gone. This is only sex.

  He scatters kisses along my jaw and down my neck. The tip of his erection plays at my entrance, teasing me as he slides in a little farther with each kiss. Ugh! He’s driving me crazy!

  “I’m gonna show you how beautiful you are,” he mumbles into my neck.

  My eyes flutter shut as I take in a deep breath.