Kitchen Affairs: A Riverside Novel (The Riverside Trilogy)

by Cumberland, Brooke

  I slowly moved down him, unbuttoned his pants, and slid them down his legs. I straddled him and playfully unbuttoned his shirt and let it hang open against his shoulders.

  “Now, no touching… or looking.” I stripped my clothes and straddled him again. He smiled as he could feel we were skin to skin. I lightly kissed his lips and then moved down his neck and up to his ear. I explored his body with my hands, touching his torso, and his arms. He was rock solid, and it felt amazing to touch him.

  After a moment of teasing him and watching him squirm, I placed myself on top of him, letting him in. He moaned and tilted his head back. His hands went up to grab my breasts, but I teased him and grabbed them before he could cop a feel.

  “No, no baby. No touching.”

  “Oh come on, that’s torture! I need to feel you, baby,” he whined.

  “I know, but not yet.” I kissed his lips as I let him enter me again. I continued straddling him, making love to him until I practically fell apart. He tried so hard not to touch me, but eventually I gave in and let him.

  “You feel so good, baby, I need to see you,” he begged.

  “Not yet… I want you to feel me without looking.”

  We continued making love in a room filled with pictures of us making love. It was surreal. This man was unlike any man I had ever met before. I was falling for him… hard. He was the whole package… the perfect match for me. I started to realize how much of a hold this man had on me in such a short period. I started to panic as the realization of our relationship had blossomed so suddenly. One minute I’m at my internship career-focused and the next I’m sleeping with the manager falling head over heels in love with him. It was too much to take in. Holy shit… I need to get out of here. Breathe, Molly breathe.

  I let him finish and faked a smile that I had finished too. I had too much on my mind to worry about finishing at that moment. I felt a panic attack coming on.

  “That was so hot babe. Next time you get blindfolded,” he teased while we put our clothes back on. I felt the sudden urge to leave. I had to get out of there.

  “I think I need to get back home, Drake. This was so lovely, and I love the pictures, but I have a busy day tomorrow and I want to spend some time with Stella before school tomorrow,” I lied.

  “Sure baby, no problem. I can take you home,” he smiled and grabbed my hand to lead me down the stairs.

  I kissed Drake goodbye and walked into my apartment. My breathing had quickened, and I felt the sudden urge to throw up. I walked into a quiet apartment and as soon as I saw the loveseat, I collapsed.

  “Molly? Mols, can you hear me?” Michael panicked. He kneeled beside me trying to see what was wrong. Go away…

  “I’m fine Michael,” I lied trying to reassure him.

  “Molly, what’s wrong?” he pleaded. He could see that I was not myself.

  “I love him Michael. I love him, and I panicked,” I mumbled. “I had a panic attack.”

  “Oh girl… you have fallen for him. You haven’t had a panic attack in years.”

  “I know, Michael, but you’re not getting it. I have never loved anyone else besides Liam. I have let another man into my heart, and it scares the hell out of me.” Tears started to swell, into my eyes. “The memory of Liam still lives inside my heart, and it terrifies me to move on. I feel like I’m going to forget him if I replace him.”

  “Oh honey, he will never be replaced. He was your first love, and he’s Stella’s father. It’s okay for you to move forward. I know it feels scary, but I also know Liam would want you to be happy,” he said in a soothing voice. He was always good at making me feel better. Now I was sobbing uncontrollably.

  “You’re right.” I smiled as tears were still falling down my cheeks. “I just miss Liam so much, I don’t ever want to forget him.” Liam… I miss you.

  “You will never forget him darling. He was a part of your life, and he will always be Stella’s father. You need to let Drake in honey because he cares about you and you care about him.” Michael knew just what to say, especially during my panic attacks.

  I never had panic attacks until after Liam’s accident, and after a year or so, they stopped. I haven’t had one since and this was clear to me that falling in love with Drake was my body’s way of needing to think this through. Everything Michael said was true, yet I still felt like I needed to breathe.

  That morning I played hooky from class and packed bags for Stella and me. I decided to drive to Iowa for the weekend to see my family, but most importantly, I wanted to take Stella to Liam’s gravesite. I felt like I needed to say goodbye so that I could feel that it was all right to move on.

  “Stella baby, we gotta go!” I called as I was grabbing the last of our luggage. We were only going to be gone through the weekend, but I knew she was going to need many things to keep her entertained on the long ride. Michael decided to tag along with us as well. It was going to be a fun road trip, but I was ready to get it over with.

  “Coming mommy!” Stella yelled as she rushed to the door. “I couldn’t find my Elmo, but here he is!” She held up her stuffed Elmo in pride.

  “Great, now let’s go!” Michael followed us to the elevator and down the lobby where our cab was waiting. He grabbed our bags and threw them in the trunk for us. Stella was so excited for her first road trip. We rented a Tahoe, so Stella had room to sleep and watch movies in the back.

  “Hello?” I answered my phone without looking. I hadn’t told Drake about our last-minute plans, so I’m sure he was wondering where I had gone.

  “Hey baby, where are you?” Drake asked concerned.

  “Actually, Michael and I decided to take Stella on a road trip to Iowa.” I didn’t want to explain the whole panic attack and Liam situation. I wanted to tell him that in person so he understood where I was coming from. I was nervous how he would take the news. Hopefully he wouldn’t bail.

  “Iowa? By your parents?” he asked confused.

  “Yeah, I haven’t seen them in over two years, and I wanted to get away for a couple days. Sorry I didn’t get a chance to tell you. We just planned it and had to start packing and rent a car and all.”

  “Oh, well, I hope you guys drive safe and have fun. Call me when you get there.”

  “Will do honey. Call you later.” We hung up and for the next four and a half hours, we drove through boring Iowa, stopped twice, and finally made it by one in the afternoon. I haven’t been home in so long but it felt right. It was comfortable. It was home.

  I knew my mom and dad would both be at work, but I knew where my mom’s hidden key was. Both of my parents had re-married after their divorce but I was still the only child. None of them had more children or even stepchildren. Stella was their only grandchild, and they loved spoiling her any chance they could. They sent ravish birthday and Christmas gifts, so I knew they’d be exceptionally blown away seeing her in person for the first time in two years.

  “Mommy, where are we?” Stella asked as she walked through the door.

  “This is Grandma’s house baby. We’re going to stay here for the weekend,” I smiled, hoping to get a good response out of her. My mom had two spare rooms, which is the main reason why I chose to come here although I planned on stopping by my dad’s house as well. He only had a one-bedroom condo with his wife and dogs.

  “We better call Grandma so she doesn’t have a heart attack when she gets home,” I teased gesturing for Stella to come by me.

  “Hello?” My mother answered worried. I never called in the afternoon especially on a Friday considering I was usually in class.

  “Hi Grandma!” Stella squealed. “I like your house!”

  “Hi mom!” I chimed in.

  “Hi mom!” Michael yelled from the hallway.

  “Well, hello dear. Where are you?” she asked confused.

  “We decided to take a last minute road trip. We are at your house. Hope you don’t mind.”

  “Oh my goodness! You are? Really?” She sounded like she almost didn’t
believe it.

  “Yes, we wanted to come see you and Dad. We used your secret key. Hope that’s okay.”

  “Oh honey, it’s more than okay. I can’t believe you’re here! I’m going to leave the office early. I can’t wait to see my little Stella-bug. I’ll be there in a half hour!” she said eagerly and hung up. I couldn’t be happier to be home right now. This was a time in a girl’s life where I just needed my mom.

  My mom arrived home a half hour later and squeezed us tight for ten minutes. She was crying and soon enough so was I. I hadn’t realized how much I missed her after all this time. In fact, I hadn’t realized how much I missed where I grew up. Home Sweet Home.

  “I just can’t believe you guys are really here!” my mom gushed wiping away her tears of joy.

  “Well, it’s been long enough. We missed you. And… I need to see Liam’s gravesite.”

  “Liam’s gravesite?” she asked confused.

  “Yeah… I think its time I tell Stella about her father and show her where he is. And I need to say goodbye. It’s time.”

  “Oh honey.” She brushed her fingers on my wet cheeks. “You know he is always with you and Stella no matter what. But you deserve to be happy. You both do,” she said reassuringly. She hadn’t been there for me when he passed away, but she was doing her best to make up for it now.

  “I know mom. But it’s been difficult moving on, even after all these years. I want to be happy, but I need to do this. Liam was my first love and in order for me to fully love anyone else, I need to tell him that I will always love him no matter what. I need the reassurance that it’s okay to move on,” I paused waiting for her to react. “I met someone mom. And he’s wonderful. I’m falling for him and it makes me feel conflicted – for loving someone else and for moving on. I need to do this.”

  She grabbed me in for a hug and held me tight. I hadn’t told her how much I was suffering on the inside still. She never brought up Liam’s name when we talked on the phone, but I’m sure she did that to avoid any sad feelings for me.

  “Sweetheart, you are an amazing person and mother. Liam would be so proud of you and your accomplishments. He’d be so proud how you are raising his daughter and he’d be proud that you are moving on. I understand you need to do this. You deserve to be happy and feel loved again.” She kissed my forehead and continued hugging me. There was no feeling like this. My mom and I hadn’t talked and hugged like this in years. I missed her so much.

  CHAPTER TEN

  That evening, I took Stella to see my dad. He was just as shocked as my mom was to see us. I didn’t tell him about seeing Liam because I just didn’t have the energy to talk about it again, and I didn’t want Stella seeing me upset. He swooned in for a hug and kissed Stella on both of her cheeks. He was beyond excited to see us after all this time; it made my heart melt.

  “Molly! I can’t believe you guys are here! I have missed this little bug!” he gushed continuing to squeeze us.

  “We missed you too, Dad. We are only here for the weekend though. I have to get back for my internship on Monday.”

  “How is the internship, darling? Learning a lot?”

  “It’s great. I love it. And yes, learning tons,” I said with a hidden meaning.

  For the next hour, we caught up and watched Stella play with his dogs chasing them around his condo. I briefly told him about Drake and our new relationship. Michael and I took Stella out to dinner and invited my dad and my mom. It’s been years since they’ve been in the same room together, but it was a short visit and I wanted to make the most of the time we had.

  The evening went better than I had expected. Stella kept both my parents busy even though it was awkward for them. She told them about her school, her friend Bobby that she likes, and about meeting mommy’s new friend, Drake.

  Oh thanks Stella-bug.

  The next morning while making breakfast, I decided to tell Stella about her father. She has never really asked about him. I think since Michael has been in the picture for so long; she didn’t really notice. I was waiting until Stella was old enough to understand before mentioning her father. Today was that day.

  “Sweetie, mommy has some important things to tell you. We need to talk about your daddy.” I pulled her onto my lap.

  “Who’s my daddy?” she asked with curiosity.

  “Well… his name is Liam. He was so excited when he found out you were coming. He loved you so much. When you were just a baby, he died in a car accident. And I know he misses you very much.” I tried to hold back tears. It saddened me every day knowing that he wasn’t here to watch her grow up and that he’d never see her on her first day of kindergarten, her first dance, her first boyfriend, walk her down the aisle, or meet his grandchildren.

  She just stared at me unsure of how to respond. I could see she was confused. “We are going to go visit his gravesite today, sweetie. I want you to see where he is buried.”

  “Okay mommy. Why are you sad?” she asked concerned as she saw my eyes swell up.

  “I just miss your daddy that’s all baby. But I’m so very happy he gave me you!” I said playfully squeezing her nose.

  Michael came with us to the cemetery allowing me some alone time with his grave without Stella. She was pretty confused by the situation, but I did my best to explain everything to her.

  Once we got to his headstone, I knelt down and pulled Stella on my lap. I held back tears as best as I could, but a few slipped down.

  “Stella, this is where your daddy’s buried. Do you have any questions?”

  “Can I tell him about my friends at school?” she asked unsure of what to do.

  “Of course honey. Tell him anything you want.” I squeezed her tighter.

  Stella smiled and touched the stone with her hands. She told him about her best friends Kylee and Mackenzie, told him her favorite character is Elmo, and said she wished she had met him. It was such a relief to see her here with me. She made this process so much easier on me. She took Michael’s hand and walked back to the car. I stayed behind needing a few moments to myself.

  “Liam, I miss you. So much. I wish you were here still. Stella looks so much like you. I think about you every day, but I need to tell you that I’m moving on. I will always love you Liam James Weston, and I will never forget you. You were my first love and my best friend. I believe that you are with Stella and me every day. I met a great man named Drake. He is kind and wonderful, and I think even Stella approves,” I chuckled a little at Stella’s first reaction when she saw Drake. “And I just needed to tell you. I needed you to know that even though I am moving on, you will never be forgotten, and you’ll always have my heart. I love you Liam.” Tears rolled down my cheeks. “Goodbye Liam.” I kissed my fingers and planted them on his stone. I stood up, glanced at his stone one more time, and walked back to the car by Stella and Michael.

  I brushed my wet cheeks and got back in the car. Michael looked at me for approval and started the car. I glanced back at Stella as she was smiling at the window. I was happy to experience this with Stella even if sure she didn’t understand it all.

  I decided to call Drake once we got back to my mother’s. Stella was busy playing with my mom, and Michael was catching up on his writing.

  “Hey baby, how’s everything going?” he asked, answering the phone.

  “Pretty good. My parents love spoiling Stella. It’s great to see them.”

  “So I need to tell you something. Don’t freak out,” he pleaded sounding worried.

  “Oh my god, what’s wrong?” I panicked.

  “Baby, don’t freak out I said. I found out who’s behind the pictures. And I’m taking care of it. But we need to keep under the radar for a little bit until it blows over.”

  “I’m confused. If you know who it is, why do we have to keep under the radar?”

  “Her name is Kendra Kingston. She was my college girlfriend, and she’s a friend with someone on my security team. I caught her on camera talking to one of them and negotiating a dea
l. She comes from a very rich and intense family, so that’s why it needs to be under the radar. I need to handle her gently. She’s used to getting her way, and when she called recently asking to get together, I shot her down. And now she’s trying to get revenge on me when she found out about you.” He took a breath finally allowing it to fully sink in. Holy shit… Kendra.

  “Is that the same Kendra I heard you yelling at one the phone the other morning?”

  “Yeah… you heard? She can be a bit intense. She’s not interested in the money, Molly. She just wants to rattle you. She won’t expose those photos, but the more public we become, the more intense she’ll get. But don’t worry, I’ll take care of her,” he said trying to sound calm.

  “So your ex is a psycho, trying to blackmail me to get back at you? This is absurd!” I was furious.

  “Honey, calm down. Everything’s going to be just fine…”

  “Everything is not fine!” I cut him off. “I didn’t come all the way out here to say goodbye to my first love so I could finally give my heart to you to be run off by some crazy psycho bitch!” I confessed.

  “Wait, what? I’m lost.”

  I took a deep breath in. I rambled that off too quickly to rationalize why I told him any of that.

  “You are the first man since Liam that I have fallen in love with Drake. I needed to say goodbye to Liam so I could give you my whole heart. This wasn’t easy for me. And now you’re telling me your ex wants to separate us?” I admitted.

  There was silence at the end of the line. I thought maybe he passed out. Then I realized I just confessed my love for him.

  “Molly,” Drake finally said. He took in a deep breath. “I love you, too. I know this is sudden, and we’re moving fast, but I have never been so sure of someone in my entire life. I understand this is new and scary for you, but I promise you I’m not going anywhere,” Drake spilled his guts out to me. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. My heart began to race.