by Faye Sonja
“Let go,” the stranger said in a low voice to Faith. She did as he asked, realizing then that the man hadn’t needed her help at all. He was strong. He dropped the wagon slowly and went toward the wheel. Ten minutes later, he was bringing his horse around toward the front of the wagon to join it by the only other horses that Faith had. “Where are you ladies heading?”
“Kansas City,” Samantha said.
Faith turned towards her, giving her a warning look. The girl really did talk too much.
“So am I,” the man said. He tied his horse to the front. “Where are you ladies coming from?”
“Perry Lake,” Penny said. Faith turned on her then. Penny popped her little hands over her mouth. Faith shook her head.
“Perry Lake? I got family out there.”
Faith turned toward the stranger. “You do?”
“Yeah, two brothers.”
Surprise registered on Faith’s face. “I know everyone in town. Who are your brothers?” She looked at the man again and couldn’t place his relations.
The man smiled. “Mark Bishop and Daniel Price.”
The girls gaped along with Faith.
Samantha was the first to find her voice. “Uncle Mark and Uncle Daniel are your brothers?”
The stranger squinted his eyes, looking at all the kids, then at Faith. “Yes.” There was a pause. Then. ”Are you Mark’s new wife?”
Faith shook her head. “No, I’m Faith Coleman. I’m just a long-time family friend.” Faith then went on to introduce the girls by name.
Relief seemed to spread over his strong features. Faith blushed, realizing what he was trying to inquire of. The stranger was making sure that Faith was available. “You must be Joshua.”
“I am,” he said. Joshua finished tying the horses to the wagons and went to stand by Faith
“Everyone in the wagon.” Samantha and Kate turned toward the back, but Penny stayed by Faith’s side, the little girl stepped closer to Joshua.
“I want to ride up front with you,” she said, a twinkle in her big brown eyes.
Joshua took off his hat and swept down to a bow. Faith got her first glance at his short brown hair. It was dark, but had natural highlights throughout. His fingers swept through them as he spoke to Penny. “I’d be honored.”
Penny giggled. Faith plucked her up and put her on the wagon. She was ready to get going. The sooner they got to Kansas City, the sooner they could part ways.
With everyone loaded in, they were quickly off.
“Why don’t you live in Perry Lake with Uncle Mark and Uncle Daniel?” Penny asked. She sat happily sandwiched between the adults.
For once, Faith wouldn’t stop the child from talking. She was asking some really good questions and Joshua didn’t seem to mind. “Oh,” he began. “I had business that took me to other places.”
His words made Faith remember a few details about the man in front of her. Joshua may have been Mark and Daniel’s brother, but he was also an outlaw. Or rather, a formal outlaw. Grim Reaper, they called him. Just thinking about it made Faith want to stop the wagon and send him on his way, but there was too much in the back of the wagon for just one horse. She needed two to make it to Kansas City.
Mark, who liked telling stories the most, informed everyone that Joshua was a good person now. He’d proven himself the day he stared down the barrel of a gun and refused to do anything else that would cause innocent people any undue pain. Mark said Joshua threw his gun down into the dirt, ready to die, ready to be forgiven for his sins and meet his maker. Mark had a way with stories. It all sounded so dramatic, but the message was clear. Whatever Joshua did in his past life was indeed, in the past.
Samantha stuck her head out of the wagon. “Are you going to come and visit?” she asked.
“I’ll have to now,” Joshua said. He looked over at Faith when he said it. Faith turned away; sure that she was turning red in the face.
“Faith,” Joshua said, getting her attention. Faith looked over at him, catching his eyes. He looked very serious. “Maybe your husband should start making these journeys with you.”
“Mama ain’t married,” Samantha said.
Faith looked towards the heavens for strength, right before she caught the smile on Joshua’s face. She ducked away. Joshua’s laugh filled the air. “Kate,” he called. “How are you doing back there?”
“Kate’s reading,” Samantha said.
“What’s she reading?” Joshua asked.
Samantha turned back into the wagon where Kate’s voice could be heard. “A Tale of Two Cities,” she called over the rumble of the wagon.
“That’s a good one,” Joshua said.
Kate’s head popped out of the wagon. “You’ve read it before?” Her excitement was obvious. Jealousy stirred in Faith. She’d never gotten Kate to look at her like that. Kate had only known Joshua for two hours and he already impressed her.
The two went into a discussion of the book, but Joshua didn’t give Kate any spoilers. Kate was smiling before she went back to reading her book. The rest of the ride followed with more discussion and more questions. The girls adored Joshua. He had the whole wagon wrapped around his fingers. Everyone, but Faith. Though she admitted to herself that she was attracted to him, but nothing more.
They got to Kansas City by nightfall. After saying their goodbyes, the girls went up into the room they stayed in every time Faith was in town. The Kansas shopkeeper who sold Faith’s creations owned the room. Joshua unattached his horse and then went to stand by Faith. He had a smile on his face. There wasn’t much light out, but a few lanterns by the building doors. The town was still awake. People mulled around them, on their own missions. No one paid them any mind.
“Let me know if you need help getting back to Perry Lake,” Joshua said.
Faith sighed. “Thank you, but I have friends in the city. We’ll be fine.”
Joshua stepped closer. “I hoped we could be friends.”
Faith narrowed her eyes. He was closer than what was considered polite. “I’ve no idea what you mean,” she said as Joshua leaned closer to her.
“I think you do, Faith,” he said, his voice lower than normal. “So, how about a kiss for the man who saved your life?”
Faith’s green eyes flew wide with shock. Joshua’s face was an inch from hers. What kind of woman did he think she was? The answer was clear. Three kids, no husband? He thought her loose. Anger filled Faith. “You want a kiss?”
Joshua’s smile grew. It was almost wolfish. “I do.”
Faith smiled back and whispered, “Then close your eyes, honey.”
Joshua obeyed.
Faith took a step back, balled her fist, leaned her arm back, and then put her strength and momentum into that one arm. Her fist didn’t aim for Joshua’s face. Her fist aimed to go through Joshua’s face, just as she’d been taught, and when she hit him, she hit him hard, knocking him out.
She heard a gasp and looked up at the building. The girls all had their heads out the window. They’d seen the entire event. Good. That’ll teach them. Lesson Number One: A lady never gives her kisses away lightly.
* * *
1
“It Wouldn’t be Right, Now Would It?”
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“ … but she couldn’t marry a man.
She would never marry. ”
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January 1906
Perry Lake, Kansas
“I’m so excited!” Hannah Bishop shouted once again. Faith shook her head as she placed another pin in Hannah’s hem. Hannah was Mark’s wife. They were planning to renew their vows in a month. The two planned a winter wedding extravaganza. The first time the two got married, Hannah had lied about her name. Actually, she’d lied about her entire identity. Mark married her, believing Hannah was a woman named Sarah he corresponded with as a mail order bride. Hannah and Sarah were on the same train when it d
erailed out on the Kansas plains. Sarah hadn’t survived, but Hannah did, deciding she would impersonate Sarah in order to get married. Hannah was a beautiful petite woman, but she was blind. Taking advantage of Mark’s kindness seemed like the only way she’d ever find someone who would love her despite her inability to see. Over time, the two fell in love. So now, they were renewing their wedding vows, so Hannah would marry under her real name. Faith thought the whole thing was very romantic.
Hannah’s father, who moved to Perry Lake from Boston, was back east packing up the rest of his business, so he would be back in time to walk Hannah down the aisle. Mark’s groomsmen would be his brothers Daniel and Joshua. Hannah’s bridesmaids would be Katherine, Daniel’s wife and Faith. Since Katherine and Daniel were married, they would be walking together, which meant that Faith would be walking with Joshua. It was not something Faith was looking forward to.
“I wish I could see it all,” Hannah said to herself. Sadness was in her voice.
Faith to the rescue. “Hannah, you’re re-marrying the man that every girl in town wanted. Not only that, but Mark is so in love with you that at times, I’m embarrassed to be in the room.”
Hannah blushed. “I’m sorry.”
Faith waved her off as she stood. “No need.” She smiled. “I’m happy for you and Mark.”
Hannah reached out and Faith gave her a hug. “You know,” Hannah began. “You could be happy too if you decided to marry. People have told me how pretty you are.”
Faith shook her head as she pulled out. “Pretty isn’t everything.”
Hannah smiled. “I didn’t mean that you weren’t smart as well, Faith. You do have a lot to offer a man.”
“Except children,” Faith said, with more bitterness in her words than she should have allowed.
Hannah’s face fell. “Not every man needs children.”
Faith shook her head, even though Hannah couldn’t see it. They had this discussion before. “But when a man looks back over his life one day, he’ll regret marrying me because he’ll have no one to pass his name or legacy off to.”
Hannah smiled. “How about you just get married and not worry about what might happen fifty years from now.”
Faith laughed. “I wish I could, but it wouldn’t be right, now would it?”
Faith’s door swung open. Sheriff Graves was there. His face looked grim. Faith felt panic ripple through her. The kids. Sheriff Graves’ hands went up. He was such a young man. At times, Faith wondered how he’d gotten his job. “No one is hurt. Peter just got into a fight.”
Faith’s heart slowed down, but only by so much. Peter was her eldest. He was fifteen going on thirty. She shook her head. “Hannah, lock up when you leave, please.” Faith grabbed her cloak and was off with the sheriff. Hannah had a key since she was Faith’s youngest son’s teacher. Charlie was blind too, but Hannah was making sure the boy grew up to be as independent as possible.
* * *
The sheriff’s office wasn’t far from Faith’s shop. When she walked into the room, she was relieved to see that Peter wasn’t behind bars. Instead, he was simply handcuffed to the chair. The handcuffs still worried her. She saw Peter’s life flash before her eyes. She didn’t see good things. She hoped she was wrong.
Faith rushed over to him, kneeling in front of his chair. “Peter, tell me what happened.”
Peter didn’t even so much as turn his brown eyes in Faith’s direction. His brown hair was getting long, falling in his face. Faith swept it back, but got no reaction from him. She tried to search his face for bruises or scratches, but found none. She looked over at the other boy who’d been handcuffed to the other chair. John ‘JJ’ Miller, Jr. There were marks on his face. It was easy to know who won the fight, but Faith wanted to know what started it.
John Miller, Sr. came through the door saying, “Your boy is nothing but trouble!” It came out in a bellow.
Faith stood and narrowed her green eyes. She didn’t too much care for Mr. Miller. He was the town butcher and never had a pleasant thing to say to women. Ever. Not even for his wife. To him, women were nothing but objects. John stood by the door, his belly hanging far over his pants. He was a big man in both size and weight and he tried to use it against people, intimidating them. He stomped over towards Faith, not bothering to look down at the boys. “You need to get that boy out of town. He’s done nothing but cause my family strife!” John yelled as he pointed in the direction that led exactly where he wanted them to go.
Faith crossed her arms and leaned back. “My boy? JJ was getting into all kinds of trouble long before Peter got here. If anything, it’s your kid who’s the problem. For all we know, he’s the reason the boys are here.”
John flinched, but then his round face turned to denial. He turned towards JJ for the first time since walking in. “JJ, what happened?”
JJ didn’t answer. He held the same expression as Peter. Guarded.
“Boy, can’t you hear me talking to you?” John began to move towards the boy. Faith thought he might hit him.
So did Sheriff Graves. He stepped in right before John, Sr. got too close. “Why don’t we all just calm down and let the boys calm down as well?”
John stood over Sheriff Graves, trying his best to use his height on the shorter gentleman. It didn’t work. Sheriff Graves, like most men that Mr. Miller met, was shorter, but he was carrying a gun. The Sheriff narrowed his eyes. “I’m going to let you take a walk, Mr. Miller. Come back when you think you can hold it together.”
John looked around the room. His eyes landed on Faith with a menacing look. Then he left. Faith let out a sigh of relief. “Can I take Peter home?”
Graves came over and undid the handcuffs “Try and keep the boy out of trouble, Ms. Coleman… and away from JJ for a while,” he added.
Once Peter was un-cuffed, he stood, towering over Faith. Only fifteen and he was taller than her, and Faith was not considered a short woman. She hugged Peter anyway, holding onto him for dear life. Peter didn’t hug her back, but he didn’t try to get away either. Faith pulled away and then searched his face for marks again. If there would be any bruises, they’d show up later. “Head straight home, you hear me?”
Peter’s dark brown eyes stared down at her. His expression puzzled. But then he slid a mask over his features, turned, and headed out the door. The girls followed him. Faith thanked the sheriff and then walked out the door. She took a breath of the cool Kansas air. It started to snow. Faith pulled her hood over her head and started to walk, no destination in mind.
When Faith first adopted the children, she knew it would be a hard road, but she never thought it would be this hard. She could still recall the day she found them. All five had lost their parents in the same large train-wreck that Hannah had survived. A preacher brought them to Perry Lake, hoping there would be couples willing to take the children in. What he, and everyone else in the town hadn’t expected was Faith adopting them all herself, and for the first few quiet months, everything seemed to be going just fine, but at times, Faith had no idea what to do with Peter. The others were so much easier. There were times Faith felt perhaps that she was failing him. Maybe it was a sign. Faith couldn’t have children. Maybe God was telling her she wasn’t good enough to raise them either. A tear slid down her face, but dried quickly from the cold wind.
Faith found herself at the mailroom. She opened the door and walked straight to her box, knowing what would be there. A letter from Joshua. He’d written her a few weeks ago, but Faith never wrote back. She didn’t know what the letter said. She never opened it. But she would now. Anything to get her mind off her current issues.
Dear Firefly,
I’ve been seeing stars that have nothing to do with the way you punch. You, Faith, have knocked my world out of order. I can’t get your image out of my head, an image I carry every day. You have the face of an angel—delicate, yet strong. The dust of freckles dancing over your nose and cheeks, numerous, yet I’d be content to stare at them, count them ev
ery morning and every night. Your eyes, their green depths remind me of emeralds, two precious jewels hidden from my life until you looked at me. And then there’s your wild and untamed hair. A passionate red, like the flicker of a fire’s flame. Warm and purifying, two qualities a man looks for in a woman. Two qualities I believe you have.
I love you, Faith. Now, don’t stop reading this letter because you think I’m crazy. Maybe I am, but it’s still true. I love you and I want to marry you. No other woman has ever captured my heart and mind the way you have. It’s the short memory of you that gets me through my long day, and even longer nights. It’s the light in your eyes that I saw when you looked at your children that touched my spirit, and it’s the confidence to stand your ground that sold me, lock, stock, and barrel. Any woman I marry, would have to have that quality in spades. You’ve got it and you’ve got me.
Write to me, my firefly. My light in the darkness. My glimmer of peace and joy. Only you hold the key to my heart and it is yours for the taking.
All my Love,
Marshal Joshua Reaper
“Faith? Are you all right?”
Faith’s eyes popped open. She looked down at her hands. She’d been holding the letter to her heart, daydreaming of the day she met Joshua. So caught up in his letter, she’d gotten lost in her thoughts. Joshua was so romantic. It was not something Faith expected from a man like him. Mark was used to throwing a woman a line, yes, but not Joshua. Faith wondered who got the sweet-talking from whom.
But it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. The letter? Faith would always cherish this letter. Sweeter words had never been spoken to her, but she wouldn’t, couldn’t marry Joshua. Faith couldn’t have children, and though Joshua hadn’t implied that he didn’t want any, every man eventually did. Faith’s first husband had.
Faith married when she was nineteen to a man she thought would love her endlessly, but four years into the marriage, and no children, he left. He just packed up and left, no warning. Though, in hindsight, the warnings had all been there. Faith could still feel the way her heart broke every month when she’d bleed, proving to them both she wasn’t pregnant. What was supposed to be the happiest time of her life was the worst. But that was years ago. Faith was twenty-eight now and she knew her limits. She could sew, design, and even raise her five children, but she couldn’t marry a man. She would never marry.