by Faye Sonja
She sighed, turned, and caught the eyes of Liam Tate. The old man was looking at her as if she’d done something funny and intriguing. His long white hair blended in with his even longer white beard. You really couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began. It was like a coat hid most of his features. Only his dark gray eyes showed through. Faith tucked the letter into her skirt. “I’m fine. Can I borrow a pen and paper?”
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2
“What Can I Do For You, Sir?”
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“ … but she couldn’t marry a man.
She would never marry. ”
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Dear Joshua,
I will not deny that your letter touched my heart. Your words will stay with me until the day I die, but I cannot marry you. You must let me go.
Faith Coleman
Joshua sighed. He read his letter from Faith for the hundredth time in the last hour. She didn’t want to marry him. There was no reason given, but the message was clear. Back off! But Joshua wasn’t sure if he could do that. He loved Faith. He truly loved her. Never had Joshua believed in love at first sight, but that was exactly what happened that fateful day.
He took a step forward in the line that he was in at the bank, and then closed his eyes. The picture of Faith standing in the desert, looking over at him as they both lifted the wagon bed came to mind. She’d been so quiet when they’d first met. He’d almost thought she was soft, but boy had she proven him wrong.
Joshua had been a fool to think that Faith was loose. When he’d visited Perry Lake last, he’d asked Mark about her. Mark had been a little evasive about her past, which surprised Joshua. Mark, who was normally a share all kind of guy, had only given Joshua the basics on Faith. Seemed marriage had made Mark a little choosier with his words. It was a good thing, but not when you’re on the other end of it.
Reaching the teller, Joshua started to reach into his pocket.
“Hello sir, how may I help you?”
Joshua looked up at the man who’d just addressed him and squinted his eyes. The teller, the young man who always served him, had never called him anything but ‘Marshal’ before. Now he was calling him ‘sir’. Maybe Joshua was thinking too hard on that fact. Joshua tended to be cautious, sometimes too cautious, but it was caution that had kept him alive this long.
Joshua studied the young man’s face. His pupils were dilated. Black basically took over the man’s blue irises. Something was the matter. There was sweat at his brow and upper lip. The young man’s eyes widened right before they went back to being normal. He was trying to give Joshua a signal of some sort. “What can I do for you today, sir?” There was that ‘sir’ again, but this time, Joshua heard the emphasis on it.
“Oh, man. You know what?” Joshua began with a smile. “I think I’ve left my money at home. I’ll just have to come back. But before I go, could you tell me the fee for a loan?” Joshua asked.
Now, if the man was smart, he’d know what Joshua was asking. He wanted to know how many men were robbing the bank.
The young man smiled, almost relieved. He got Joshua’s message. “Just two dollars, sir.”
Joshua tilted his Stetson. “I’ll be back tomorrow then.” And then Joshua slowly walked out of the bank, scanning the room as he moved. No one in the lobby area looked out of place. Everyone wore clean clothes. Most of them were locals. Joshua recognized many of them. No, the danger wasn’t in the lobby area. It was on the other side of the room. Two men, or women. You really never knew. Still, two was a number Joshua could handle on his own if he moved quietly.
Once outside the bank, and back into the cold, Joshua stopped a kid. “Go get the sheriff.”
The kid wait around to ask questions, he just ran to do his bidding. There was a smile on his young face; pride in himself. He was helping a U.S. Marshal. Joshua turned in the direction of the back of the bank. He pulled out a revolver and slid low to the ground. He popped his head around the corner briefly before bringing it back. No one. He moved quickly and quietly towards the back door. It was locked. Joshua sighed. The bank robbers were professionals. They didn’t want anyone coming through the back without them knowing. They didn’t know Joshua though. Normal law enforcement would have shot the lock, alerting everyone inside of his position, but not Joshua. Joshua put up his gun, took out his small tools, and began to pick the lock. It was done within seconds. The bank would need a new lock. This one had been too easy to pick. A child could have opened that door.
Joshua opened the door slowly, pushing it against the wall, making sure no one stood behind it. Then he went in. A man was on his right, deep in cash, stuffing it into a bag. He was so busy he didn’t even look when Joshua came up behind him. He never saw Joshua crash the gun over the back of his head. He just went down. One down, one to go.
The Marshal got low to the ground again and began to crawl to the front room. The other robber, a woman, was by the teller that Joshua talked to. She knelt, putting money into a bag, but had one hand with a gun pointed at the teller.
The sheriff announced himself when he came in. The thief stood, pointing her gun at the unarmed teller, warning everyone to get down and not move, or she’d blow his head off. The sheriff had two deputies with him. They all pointed their gun at her, but she didn’t seem to care. She wasn’t bluffing. If they moved, she’d shoot. Everyone in the room believed her.
She grabbed her bag and began to back out of the room, never looking behind her, never seeing Joshua. She was down in a second, but not unconscious like her partner. She looked at him. Her blond hair had tight short curls, her blue eyes meeting his. “Well, if it isn’t the Grim Reaper,” she said, calling Joshua by his outlaw name.
“That’s Marshal Grim Reaper to you.”
She shook her head. “What happened to you? You use to be a legend. Now, you’re nothing but a government puppet.”
Joshua narrowed his eyes. He thought the same thing when he was first hired on. This first assignment was to take down every man and woman he ever ran with. It hurt a part of Joshua. He betrayed everyone. The code of honor, or rather dishonor, was broken. But that was four months and twenty thieving friends ago. Now, a part of Joshua just felt like he was cleaning up his past and maybe his future. Looking at this woman, he slowly began to recognize her. “Holly Day. You were on my list. It was my short list, but you still made it. So, that means, I must have knocked Tommy Knight out back there.” Joshua gestured toward the back of the room. The deputies were already moving in, carrying him out in handcuffs. Day and Knight. The romantic thieving duo.
Holly’s eyes filled with rage. “You’re gonna get yours cowboy. You just wait and see. Snitches always get theirs.”
Joshua’s face went blank. He showed her the eyes he gave countless others. It was a look that said, ‘I’m already on the edge. Don’t push’. It was a cool that reached out and made Holly gasp. Joshua’s next words were said in a neutral tone. “I’ll get mine, Holly, but it won’t be today.” Today was a good day for Joshua. Two thugs fell into his lap. He could call himself done for the day. Now, he was off to better things, like courting the stubborn Faith.
* * *
Dear Firefly,
If you enjoy my words, then I swear to write oaths to your beauty every week for the rest of our lives. You have asked me to let go, but it is not me that has to let go, for it is you who has the hold on me. It is you who visits my dreams, invading my mind’s every waking moment. My love for you is not something that can be turned off. It is not something that can be stopped. It beats with my heart and will continues to do so until the day I meet my Maker.
Say yes, Faith. Marry me. Be my mail order bride and come live with me. Do not deny us of the happiness you know we can have with one another. Do not turn me away from the chance to gaze into your glittering green eyes every day for the rest of my life. No, not without a reason. Why d
o you withhold yourself from me? What holds you back? Is it your children? If it is, then I promise that I will grow to love them just as much as you do. I already like the girls and Charlie. I’ve never met Peter, but I believe he’d like me as well.
Is it another man? I know you are not married, but if there is another then I challenge him. I give him permission to pick when and where, but he will not win. My love for you will prevail.
I will not stop writing you, Firefly. I will not give up. You are my light in the dark tunnel of this world. You are my guide through this world of turmoil and terror. Just knowing you exist has given me peace and I know that it is a peace that only comes from God. You are mine, Faith Coleman. As Adam was created for Eve, you were created for me. Bone of my bone. Flesh of my flesh. Blood of my blood. From now until eternity. Write me with an answer, Firefly. I will wait for you.
Only Yours,
Marshal Joshua Reaper
Faith was crying when she looked up. Liam stood there, staring at her. He was too close. She backed away, hiding her letter from him.
“What’s got you weeping? What’s got you all teary eyed, girl?” he asked.
Faith looked away. Liam had always been a nice man, if not nosy. “Nothing, I’m fine.”
His gray eyes narrowed. Their color reminded her of smoke. “You don’t look fine.”
Faith skirted away and through the door. “Truly, I am. Have a good day, Mr. Tate.” She ran out of the warmth of the mailroom and into the wintery outdoors. Faith shivered against her cloak and headed home.
On her ride to the house, Faith thought on Joshua’s words. She laughed. He loved her enough to chance death in a gunfight over her hand? The man was truly mad. Faith smiled. What had she ever done to deserve such a man? Faith wanted Joshua. She wanted to say ‘yes’, but she couldn’t. She’d eventually have to tell him why. If they married, he’d have no children. No daughter with his chocolate brown eyes, no son with his strong jaw or dark hair. Faith would never be able to give him that. Children were priceless. Nothing could replace them. Faith’s nerves were on edge. The hands that held the reins of her horse shook and she couldn’t get them to stop. She wasn’t prepared for the confrontation. Not in the least. Only two things could happen. One, Joshua would still claim he wanted to marry her, but slowly realize that it was a bad idea. Or two, Joshua would realize it was a bad idea immediately and let Faith go. Both would break her heart, it was only a matter of when. She’d write him, but she wouldn’t tell him the truth. Not in this letter. Not yet. Faith wasn’t ready to shatter the dream, to face the reality of the situation. She needed time for the part of her heart that had opened for the Marshal to close.
Arriving home, Faith found Daniel on the porch with Peter. They were having one of their ‘talks’. Looking at Peter’s face, Faith could tell that little if no progress at all was being made. Peter wouldn’t let anyone in. Faith hopped down from her horse, Peter ran inside, not even greeting her. It hurt.
Daniel walked over to her. Daniel was Joshua’s and Mark’s brother, but none of them shared blood. They were orphans, taken in by a woman named Paula as babies. Daniel was in the middle. He was tall, around Joshua’s height, had black hair and black eyes, but none of those things were the first features that anyone spotted. The scar down the left side of his face drew their attention. It was ugly, and if you let Daniel tell the story, much earned. Daniel, Mark, and Joshua had all joined a gang as teens. The gang was run by an evil man named Tobias Steele, a notorious thug in the West. Daniel received the scar from Tobias on the night that the boys had run away. It was also the night that the boys had lost their mother, or the only woman that had been close to one. Faith loved her Peter, but a part of her hoped he wasn’t going down the same path that the men had. Faith didn’t think she’d survive it. So, she’d asked Daniel and Mark to talk to him, yet nothing seemed to work.
Daniel stopped in front of her. His look was grim. People in town, at one time had been afraid of Daniel, but that was before Katherine had come along and softened him up. Faith had never been afraid of Daniel though. They’d been friends from the start. But right now, her friend didn’t look too happy. “Them kids got a lot of issues.”
Faith looked away. “I know.” She was holding herself. It was snowing and the wind had stopped, which made it seem less cold outside. Yet, everywhere she looked was white. She turned back to Daniel. “Did he tell you why he’d gotten into that fight?”
Daniel shook his head. “He didn’t say much of anything. The kid created a world in his own head and part of me thinks it’s dangerous.” His look was serious.
Faith’s eyes widened. “You think he’ll… hurt someone?”
Daniel shrugged. “I don’t know, but he’s angry, just like we were.” No one had to clarify the ‘we’ that Daniel meant. He was talking about him and his brothers.
Faith shook her head. That feeling of failing started to seep into her bones. She couldn’t help Peter. He was lost to her. She couldn’t raise kids. She was a bad mom. God had cursed her womb for a reason. Tears made her eyes glitter like glass. “Thanks anyway, Daniel.”
Daniel put a hand on her shoulder. “We’re all here, Faith. Don’t give up on him. I wouldn’t be the man I am today if someone had given up on me.”
Faith smiled at that. Daniel and Katherine’s story was so romantic. She saved his life from Tobias Steele when he’d come back for him, but if you hear Mark tell it, Katherine helped God save Daniel’s very soul. “You’re right.” Faith took a breath and felt all the negative feelings leave her body. After saying their goodbyes, she went into the house.
The warm smell of something good welcomed her. Samantha was in the kitchen, sweating over the stove. She’d been taking lessons from Katherine, and was becoming a queen in the kitchen. Samantha was also learning how to sew from Faith. Any man who married her would really get a prize.
“Something smells good,” Faith shouted.
“Don’t come in yet! I want it to be surprise!” Samantha shouted back.
“Yes ma’am,” Faith called back, before moving on. She followed the sound of music coming from another room. Charlie. Mark had brought him a piano and Charlie was getting really good at playing it. She walked over to him and placed her hands on his shoulders. She leaned over and placed a kiss on his dark blond hair, letting him know without words that it was Faith who’d touched him and that she loved him.
“Hi, Mama,” he whispered.
Faith kissed him on the cheek. “Hi.” She gave him a quick hug. “You’re getting really good.”
“Thanks.” He was glowing from her words. “Can I play for you later?”
Faith gasped. “Well, you better not be playing for anyone else!” She said in mock anger. Charlie laughed. Faith kissed him on the cheek again and then walked toward the back of the house, where she knew she’d find Kate. Sure enough, curled by the bay window, Kate had a book on her lap, letting the pages of whatever tale taking her to another world. Faith always thought her to be quiet, but having received two letters from Joshua, she now understood the power of words. It was easy to get swept away. Kate looked at her with her big blue eyes. Faith winked. Kate smiled and then went back to her book, her light brown hair moving with her.
Faith walked toward the living room and heard a giggle. Penny was hiding. Faith smiled. “Penny? Where are you?”
There was nothing. Then another giggle. The couch. Faith walked past the couch, but then jumped back, leaned over, and surprised the little girl. “Gotcha!” Faith grabbed the little girl by the hand, pulling her from under the couch, and started to tickle her. Penny screamed with laughter. Her long blond hair swaying everywhere her head went.
Penny’s joy pushed any shadow of doubt out of Faith’s mind. She could do this. This was her family. This was the only family she needed and God willing, she’d be all right.
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3
“So God Help Me?”
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“ … but she couldn’t marry a man.
She would never marry. ”
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Joshua stared at the closed envelope that sat in front of him on his office desk. Faith’s letter. He’d been on the road for a week and just got back to Kansas City. He’d been chasing down Big Willie, a thug who’s name was at the top of Joshua’s list. The outlaw had as many connections as Joshua used to have, and still had, scattered all over the West. Joshua used his Grim Reaper connections to track Big Willie down. It’s what he was hired Joshua for. He was their man who knew what it was like on the inside of the outlaw world.
Joshua had tried to track Big Willie down, but failed. Instead, he ran into Rogg, a connection he thought went off the grid or was killed. Rogg tried to bribe Joshua into running some illegal guns somewhere. The number the man had quoted Joshua had been large. It had been more than enough for Joshua to have packed up and started a life somewhere else, but Joshua hadn’t been interested in the money. He was no longer interested in that kind of life. The life outside of the law. Joshua had not only turned Rogg down, he arrested him. And now, after a week of no sleep, Joshua was beat. At this point, he still had two and a half more years on his government contract before he could walk away from his position as U.S. Marshal. Right now, Joshua wanted to get himself some much needed rest. The job was wearing him down, though he was doing exactly what God wanted him to do. Joshua had been given forgiveness, and now it was time to give back to the one who’d created him.