Delayed

by Daniela Reyes

  “Isn’t that your friend?” his dad asked.

  “Your old enamorada, your girlfriend,” his Abuela added in. The rest of his cousins, uncles, and aunts turned to see who the girl was.

  “Muy bonita,” one said.

  “Why is she dressed like a history book character?” asked another.

  Nick felt like hiding under the table. He watched Olivia. She gave Mimi a hug, and whispered something to her. The two girls exchanged something in their hands. He wondered what he was supposed to do. What would he say when she approached him?

  That day at graduation, he hadn’t even asked her where she was going after. Despite wanting nothing more than to know what city she was going to move to, or what play he could see her perform in, he had restrained himself. Knowing things about her, it meant holding on to his feelings for Olivia. He had spent the last two years trying to let them go, trying to let her go.

  She said a few more things to Mimi while her friends found a table. Nick turned. His family stopped taking an interest in the girl they thought he had been dating.

  After a few minutes, Mimi returned to the table, alone. Olivia went back to rejoin her friends. Nick watched her leave, not even turning around to look at him.

  “What did you two say to each other?” he asked.

  His sister went back to looking like her usual, uninterested self. She took a sip of water, another bite of breadstick. “She wished me good luck in college. We talked about her performance. She’s in town for the next two nights.”

  “She didn’t ask about me?”

  Mimi shook her head. “She told me to tell you hello. I didn’t even think the two of you were talking.”

  “We’re not,” he said, more bitterly than he wanted to sound. “Maybe she didn’t see me.”

  “She saw you,” Mimi said. “Stop acting like a kid. If you want to talk to her, then go talk to her. Whatever fight you guys had, it’s been long enough.”

  His sister sounded angry, not at Olivia but at him.

  “We’re not in a fight,” he said. “We just grew apart.”

  “Sure,” Mimi said. “Just like Diego and I didn’t break up. We grew apart.”

  Nick stopped chewing on his soggy breadstick. “You guys broke up? When?”

  The last he could remember, his sister had been celebrating an anniversary with her boyfriend.

  Her face grew straight. “Like six months ago. He called me on Christmas to break things off.”

  Christmas. Nick tried remembering that day. He had been in a hurry to catch the next available flight out to Shepton. Mimi had hugged him that day, something she rarely did anymore. And she had quietly asked him if he could stay one more day.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

  She shrugged. “I wanted to. It’s not like it’s the big of a deal. People break up all the time.”

  “You aren’t people,” Nick said. “You’re my sister.” He leaned his head toward her, but she looked away.

  “She’s performing at the Galloway Center at seven. You should go,” she said.

  He tilted his head, at the change in subject, realizing now she meant Olivia.

  “Why would I go watch her perform?”

  “Why wouldn’t you? I know you want to,” Mimi said. “I don’t get why it’s so hard for you to just do what you want. Stop putting it off.”

  Nick stared at his sister. And for the first time in two years he felt like a complete and total idiot. Not a day had passed when he hadn’t wanted to call Olivia or find out how she was doing. The more time that passed, the larger the gap became.

  They finished the graduation dinner, leaving before Olivia’s party did. Nick ran into his old bedroom and changed. He pulled on the only appropriate change of clothing that he had brought with him. Then he ran downstairs, where his sister was waiting for him.

  She reached for his hand and placed something inside. “For luck,” she said.

  Nick raised his eyebrows, recognizing the familiar shape of the keychain.

  “Where did you get this?” he asked.

  “Olivia’s graduation present,” Mimi said. “I thought you could borrow it for the night.”

  He smiled at thought. Maybe Olivia wanted him to go to the performance, and was using Mimi as a safe intermediary.

  “I’ll bring it back,” he said. As he ran out the door he thought about Joy. This shouldn’t affect their relationship. He wasn’t going to force Olivia into sharing his feelings, if anything he wanted to see if there was a part of their friendship that could be salvaged.

  It’d been too long. He wanted to see her, hug her again, hear her voice and see her smile. When he got to the theater it was as if things were falling right into place. Nick got one of the last three tickets for that night’s performance.

  He didn’t care that he had to sit in between two whining toddlers, or that he could barely see anything from the stage. He didn’t have to see Olivia to recognize her voice. She sang through her parts with more strength than he had ever heard her sing with. There was a passion that hadn’t been present during their college days.

  When the performance ended he made his way around to the back of the theater to wait. Nick found himself pacing, wondering what to do with himself. He checked his watch. Then checked his phone to confirm the time. He paced some more before seeing a flower vendor a few steps from the Galloway Center.

  Was it odd if he brought flowers? Friends could bring friends flowers. He had always brought flowers to her performances in school. The true question was where the two of them still friends?

  Nick made his way around the crowd and purchased a bouquet. And for a moment, he felt like himself again. Like the part that had been missing from his puzzle piece of a life was slowly starting to fit back into place.

  The back door to the theater opened, and all the performers staggered out. He noticed Olivia right away. She no longer wore her costume. A few fans greeted her, and she gave them a smile, the same smile she had once given him.

  Nick stepped to a side and waited. When she was finally done he forced himself to walk toward her. She seemed to be looking around for someone, and then he realized whom.

  Simon stepped out of the theater, coats in hand. He pressed a coat over her shoulders and she accepted it. The two of them briefly exchanged words before walking off in the other direction together.

  Nick stepped back, realizing now why she hadn’t greeted him.

  She’d gotten back together with the guy that had broken and stomped over her heart. Olivia didn’t need to answer his question. He gave the flowers to one of the other actresses and walked away, knowing there was nothing left of their friendship left to save.

  27

  December 25, 2013

  It snowed that Christmas, a snowstorm like Glensford had never seen before. The windows were etched high with the white coat of winter. Olivia awoke to her mom’s singing. It was the first Christmas they had been able to spend together in a long time.

  She went down the stairs, thinking back to the Christmas mornings of her childhood, when there were star shaped pancakes always waiting, a tree with whatever presents she had added to her list. Her dad would make a special chocolate and honey syrup, and they would all have breakfast, smiling, putting the troubles of months past, behind them for that one day.

  “Mom?” she called out. Her mom had recently moved out of an apartment and into a new house.

  Olivia liked the little two-story brick house. It had a matching red chimney and an office that took up the majority of the first floor. The kitchen looked like it had been cut out of a home and garden magazine.

  “Liv, I’m in here.”

  Olivia stepped into kitchen. The tile felt cold against her bare feet. The smell of pancakes greeted her before her mother did.

  “You remember the recipe?” she asked, walking up to her mom.

  Her mom nodded. “It’s a family recipe.” She laughed. “Actually, I found it in an old newspaper once duri
ng my first Christmas with your dad. I convinced him it was passed down from generations back.”

  Olivia didn’t smile at the mention of her father.

  “Do you want to open presents before breakfast? I have to head out to the airport soon.” She had rehearsals for her a new musical she had a supporting role in. It was one of the biggest roles she had been offered in her career.

  “I forgot you were leaving today.” Her mom turned. “Sometimes I like to pretend you’re not some adult, climbing her way up in the acting world. It makes me feel old.”

  She nudged her mom. “You’re not old. And I’m not a complete adult, I’m twenty-three. I still have another seven years before I can be called an official one. Fifty isn’t old either, mom.”

  “I know,” her mom said. “Let’s eat our pancakes first.”

  They ate the star shaped delicacies. The one thing that was missing was the chocolate sauce, but breakfast was good, nonetheless. Then they opened the few presents that remained under the tree. They were going to London and then they were taking a road trip through Scotland. The gifts went along with the visiting the UK theme.

  “I’m going to call and confirm my flight,” Olivia said. Her mom nodded and busied herself with throwing out the gift-wrap.

  She called and plugged in her flight’s number. It had been cancelled due to the previous night’s snowstorm. She hung up, wondering how she could get back to her rehearsals sooner.

  “I’m going to try and move to the soonest flight,” she said.

  Her mom stood from her spot next to the tree. “Olivia wait. I know your rehearsals are important, but since you’re going to be in town for the morning, maybe you should stop by and visit.”

  “Visit who exactly?”

  “Isabel turned seven,” her mom said.

  Olivia ended her call with the airline. “Are you still talking to dad?”

  “From time to time. He says she asks about you, and he doesn’t know what to say to her.”

  “Well that’s his fault, not mine,” Olivia said.

  “I didn’t say it was your fault, Liv. Please let me finish.”

  “There’s nothing to finish, mom. I’m not going to let him guilt me into anything.”

  Her mom sighed. “Do it for me then. Visit Isabel once. If you never want to see her again, then I won’t ask you to.”

  Olivia stared at her mom. It was the first time she had requested her to do anything in regards to her ex-husband. She knew there was no denying the request. It didn’t mean she couldn’t protest.

  “I can’t,” she said. “It’s been years.”

  “More time will pass and years will turn into decades, and Isabel will never get to meet you. I’m not asking you to have a relationship with him. I know that what he did can’t be undone. But she’s a little girl, and she has no fault in what you may feel toward him”

  “I know that,” Olivia said. She didn’t blame anyone but Jocelyn, and her dad.

  “I made them pancakes,” she said. “I wrapped up a gift for Isabel. You can bring it on your behalf.”

  “You planned this,” Olivia said.

  “I may have called in to check on your flight earlier this morning. The rest was just guess work.”

  “Mom…”

  “Liv…”

  And that was the end of the conversation. An hour later Olivia was trying to wade her way through inches of snow on the road. The GPS barely worked, but she knew where her dad lived. It was the same house she had spent two years living in during her high school years.

  “Turn left,” the GPS spewed out. “Make a U turn.”

  She shut it off and followed the path she knew. The roads were empty. The car was silent. It gave her time to think and to regret. She wondered if her dad knew she was coming. He probably did. But then again, he hadn’t tried to talk to her in years. Then she regretted, not about her parents, but about how easily she had let Simon slip back into her life.

  He’d shown up as an intern on one of the productions she worked on that past May. She’d done everything to ignore him. Then he’d gone up to her one night, the same day she saw Mimi in the restaurant, the day she had chosen to give Nick the space he wanted, and he had asked her to meet him after the play.

  Olivia had gone, not because she wanted to, but because it would be the easiest way to tell him off, away from the rest of the crew, without causing a scene.

  “I want you to know that what I did back in college, I regret it every day,” he said out of the blue.

  “I’m sure you do,” she had said, as bitterly as was possible. “Is that all?”

  “I’m not trying to get you back, I promise,” he had continued on. “Just let me finish.”

  “No. You don’t get to finish.”

  He’d stopped walking then. And he stared right at her. “I just want you to know that what happened was because I’m the jerk. It had nothing to do with you. You were a good girlfriend, one of my better ones.”

  She tilted her head, not caring about what else to say, but knowing what had led to his change of heart. “Someone gave you a taste of your own medicine.”

  He nodded. No hesitation. “Yeah. An actress. I fell in love with her, and she fell in love with the lead in her play.”

  Olivia laughed at that. “Well. I was never in love with you.” She’d never been, but that hadn’t lessened the hurt.

  Simon started walking again at that point. “I know. You were in love with him. That’s what helped me justify what I did.”

  “In love with…” she realized who he meant. “Nick? I wasn’t in love with him.”

  “Whatever you say,” Simon said. Then he had walked her to her apartment, and somehow they had been able to maintain a civil work relationship for the past seven months.

  Olivia pulled into her dad’s neighborhood. The gate code hadn’t changed. Her fingers froze as she punched it in.

  It took her two seconds to reach their house at the end of the street. It hadn’t changed. Her stomach shook at the sight of it. She parked her mom’s car and waited. Maybe she could turn back. But she knew she wouldn’t. This wasn’t for her dad. It was for the parent that she actually cared about.

  Olivia breathed in the frigid air, making the pain in her throat become more prominent.

  She stepped out of the car, almost slipping on the iced driveway.

  One step at a time, somehow she made it to the front door. It took her two minutes to ring the doorbell. If she ran back to the car now, Olivia knew she’d slip on the ice.

  The door opened. There was no one behind it. She looked down.

  “Are you Olivia?” a tiny voice asked. Isabel stood, taller than she remembered. Her eyes were their father’s, her smile Jocelyn’s.

  Olivia nodded. She grasped onto the present, handing it over to the little girl. “Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas I guess.”

  Isabel smiled. She was missing her two front teeth. “Thank you. Merry Christmas to you too.” Her voice was soft and eager.

  “Who is it?” someone called out from inside. “I told you not to open the door without me…” It was Jocelyn. She stepped out toward the threshold, placing a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “Olivia. What are you doing here?”

  Her voice was worn and tight. She stared at Olivia as if she were seeing a phantom reappear from its deathbed.

  Olivia stared at the woman she had hated for so many years. “I came to say hello,” she managed.

  “It’s cold. Mom let her come in,” Isabel said. She reached out and grabbed her by the hand, pulling her into the house before Jocelyn could object.

  “Honey, who is it?” A third voice joined in.

  Her dad froze a few feet from them. “Liv,” he said. A thin smile appeared on his face. “You came.”

  She nodded. “Yeah. I’m not staying too long. I just came to drop off a present.”

  “Can I show her my room?” Isabel asked. She still had Olivia’s hand wrapped inside her tiny palm.

 
Jocelyn and her father exchanged glances, before agreeing to the request. “Go ahead. We’ll be out here.”

  Isabel dragged Olivia into the hall. The layout hadn’t changed. It was one straight passage, all the rooms off in different directions. They stopped at the one at the end of the hall. It had once been her room.

  “I can show you all the toys I got for Christmas,” Isabel said. They stepped into the bedroom. The walls had been colored pink and the bed had a princess castle theme.

  Olivia looked around. There were drawings of musical notes and a collage of pictures everywhere. She squinted trying to make out who the same person was in all of them. Then she realized she was the chosen subject. Some were blurry, some were close ups, but most were taken from far off angles. She recognized her various costumes through the years. Some shots were from her first performance in college.

  “Why do you have all of those?” she asked the little girl.

  Isabel turned and gave her a gapped smile. “In case someone doesn’t believe me.”

  “Believe you about what?”

  Her smile widened. “That my sister’s a famous actress.”

  Olivia took a step back. The words made her feel like someone had punched out all the air in her lungs. She stared around the room again and then back at the little girl she had spent seven years resenting. Isabel kept a smile on her face.

  “I need to go,” Olivia said. She released Isabel’s hand and turned out of the room. Her dad tried to talk to her as she left the house, but he didn’t follow her out.

  She pulled the car out of the neighborhood and parked at a nearby gasoline station. Then she pressed her head against the steering wheel, and holding a hand to her mouth, she cried. Her mom hadn’t been lying. Her dad had come to her performances, and he’d brought Isabel.

  Isabel, not Jocelyn’s daughter or the little girl she never wanted to see, but Isabel her sister. Olivia breathed through her tears not knowing what to say. This wasn’t about her dad anymore or what he had done to her. She was the adult now, and her actions could impact a little girl stuck in the middle of everything.

  She knew she’d have to start somewhere, but she had no clue as to where. For now though, Olivia sat in her mom’s car, her hands numb, cheeks warm, and for the first time in her life she acknowledged a fact she hadn’t wanted to.