And so he had to keep his thoughts at bay, and then leaned back in his chair, hoping he would get comfortable relatively soon. She suddenly thrashed, distracting himself from any thoughts regarding work or anything else from that matter. He dropped his brow slightly and scooted over to the edge of his chair in order to properly lean over and get a better look at her. She appeared to be having some sort of nightmare, and for whatever reason, that seemed to trouble Paul. He didn’t like that, only because he didn’t want her to be distressed more so than she probably already would be. But then, how could he expect her not to have one, especially after she saw her beloved home crumble before her very eyes?
At that moment, her eyes suddenly captured his attention before opening slightly. Mandy still looked tired, and she yawned, her heart racing, but when she saw Paul, she felt herself calm down. She couldn’t explain it, but seeing those pale blue eyes had a calming effect on her, and so she fixed her attention on him, not realizing that she was staring.
“Where are we?” she murmured, sleep still gripping her voice. Her eyes finally left his, darting around the room.
“Safe,” he replied in his usual soft-spoken voice. “An apartment more inland. Away from the wreckage.”
Mandy nodded, and it was only then that realized that all that she had seen, everything that had happened was, indeed, fact, and not a nightmare. She abruptly sat up, taking Paul by surprise, but he didn’t move back from her, even though they were now closer than they had ever been save for the time he carried her here. However, Mandy noticed the sudden closeness and suddenly felt incredibly self-conscious. She blinked once before her eyes, on their own accord, dropped to his lips… until she forced them upwards, back into his eyes.
“Sarah,” she managed to get out of her mouth. She knew she was blushing, and she hoped that he didn’t know why she would do such a thing. One quick glance proved nothing, and she looked away once more. “What about Sarah? What about all of those people? What has happened to them? Are the okay? Will they be okay?”
Paul looked down at her, and could tell she was obviously flustered by the amount of questions that had forced their way out of her mouth. She was worried about them, but it was necessary that she learn the truth about them. He wouldn’t sugarcoat anything, not for his sake and especially not for her own.
“Gone,” he told her softly. “They’re gone now. The world, humanity, it’s slowly disintegrating until it will turn into absolutely nothing.”
“If evil wins,” Mandy finished, looking at him curiously, wanting to make sure she had all the facts correct.
Paul swallowed before answering. “If evil wins,” he told her without saying anything more on the matter. As of present, she didn’t need to know he happened to be a part of the evil side, though he was sure she would figure it all out if she hadn’t figured it out already. He cleared his throat, and decided to change the subject, albeit, only slightly. “But do not focus on the people you knew before. There is only me and there is only you. That’s all that matters anymore.”
Ten
It was night outside when Mandy woke up once more. In all honesty, she hadn’t even realized she had fallen asleep once more, but even she knew that she was exhausted. A lot had happened that day, and just thinking about it caused her head to spin. A part of her longed for nothing more than to continue to wish that it was a dream, to be naïve that some war was going on, and that she might be used as some sort of strategist in said war. Mandy still didn’t believe she was as important as Paul told her she was; it was weird to think that she could cause the downfall of one empire of empires while simultaneously elevating the position of the other side. It was a scary thought.
But could Paul be trusted with something like that? To be honest, Mandy didn’t know. She knew she was comfortable with him, and her built-in gut instinct that she had finely tuned over the years wasn’t going off being in his presence, and yet something was nagging her in the back of her mind, as though he wasn’t telling her everything. Not that he was lying, of course, but that certain things were being kept from her, and she couldn’t say if this was on purpose or if he was trying to protect her or what.
Though he seemed sweet. Hmm. Maybe sweet wasn’t the right word. At least to her, right now, it didn’t feel as though he intended her any harm, and he really did seem to care about her well-being. But then again, he had even admitted that if he protected her, he would get the gift of life. So maybe his intentions weren’t as pure as they seemed. However, Mandy had to consider the fact that she would probably be dead if it wasn’t for Paul, and because of that, she would be eternally grateful to him, human or not.
A yawn tore through her thoughts, and she sacrificed them for a moment to indulge in her tiredness. She wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep, but she couldn’t, she knew she couldn’t. Too much was going on. And to be honest, she had no idea how she managed to fall asleep in the first place.
Everything she knew, everything she had grown up with, was gone. Don’t think about it, he had told her, but how could she not? Paul was not yet human, and those he did know, she assumed were fallen angels like he was – immortal. He didn’t have to go through the pain of losing someone or something that was dear to him. A sigh slipped past her lips and her shoulders slumped. Cocking her head, her eyes glanced around the room once more, but she could not detect a television anywhere. What was she supposed to do? She highly doubted he had books anywhere, and she wanted nothing more to escape…
Television was probably a bad idea anyways. Every channel would probably be reporting on the wreckage of Los Angeles. She wondered if anyone had captured a shot of Paul flying. Sure they might not have been able to see his wings, but couldn’t they spot a man in the sky?
She cocked her head to the side, and her eyes widened when they saw Paul sitting in the same chair was before. His arms were crossed over his chest, wearing nothing but black pants. It would seem that he, too, needed his sleep, which was definitely okay by Mandy. She had wanted to study him fully, and she couldn’t do that with ease when those penetrating pale blue eyes were on her.
The fallen angel was nowhere near perfect, but somehow, that made Mandy see him as more attractive than another pretty boy might have been. His short, ginger colored hair fell into his face only slightly. The locks would never be a bother to him because they were short, but that didn’t seem to prevent them from getting messy, as they were right then. Mandy allowed herself a small smile as her eyes continued to sculpt the rest of his pale-peach face. It was square-shaped, and she knew he was hiding those blue eyes of his behind his eyelids. His lips were thin, but then, many men’s were, and somehow they fit his face quite well. Mandy knew she was dwelling too long on them, but since he couldn’t see her, it didn’t matter very much. If it was lighter, she would have counted every freckle on his face, but it was too dark to do such an activity. His body matched the color of his face, which delighted Mandy. She didn’t quite understand when men had incredibly pale chests, but darker arms, a darker face. But it didn’t matter because Paul luckily matched. And his body was… fit. Everything was toned, and she could count his abdominal muscles. But it wasn’t too much, too muscley. She never liked a lot of muscle in her men. And his arms… those arms were beautiful, and even more than that, she felt incredibly safe in them.
He was an exquisite looking man. And she was lucky to be in the care of him. At least she hoped her trust would allow her to hope that much.
She needed to stretch.
As quietly as Mandy could, she slid out of bed, not wanting to wake Paul. Already, he seemed to have gone through a lot and was probably just as exhausted as she was.
It took her a moment to situate herself, but once she did, she gave into her insatiable curiosity and decided to explore her temporary home. Her bare feet padded across the carpet and she realized there was little if no furniture scattered about the small vicinity and wondered why that was. If Paul was protecting her, shouldn’t there be more to do
, especially when neither of them knew just when this war would end?
Unless he did know.
Go away, Mandy thought dismally, to her other thoughts. I don’t want to think about things right now.
Currently, she was facing a sliding door that led out to a small balcony. Even Mandy knew not to go outside, not only because of the danger, but surely it was going to be quite cold out there as well. Instead, she rested her forehead on the cool glass, and before she could stop them, her thoughts began to take hold of her conscious.
Paul found her there fifteen minutes later. When he woke up and realized she wasn’t there, his heart – if he had one – leapt into his throat, but he was quickly relieved when he saw that she was merely looking around. However, she didn’t appear to be too happy about something. Her shoulders were slumped forward, and her eyes appeared to be red. In fact, if he was being honest, she almost looked helpless, defeated. He frowned and took a tentative step forward, unsure of what to do or say.
So he said the first thing that came to his mind. “You’re crying,” he told her softly.
Mandy blinked a couple of times, as though she hadn’t realized that she had done such a thing. When she saw that his words were true, she shrugged her shoulders as though she didn’t quite care and turned back to the window. “I’m just remembering,” she explained to him, her eyes fixated on the glowing moon. And then, for whatever reason, Mandy told him something about herself. “When I was a kid, every night, me and my mom would always try to reach the moon, and when we failed, we always tried again the next night. I couldn’t count how many times we did that…” She let her voice trail off.
Paul wasn’t sure what to do. In fact, he seemed to be feeling that way a lot lately, especially when he was around Mandy. Before it had only been him, he only had to care about himself. But now she was here, and he couldn’t help but care about her.
“Where are your parents now?” he asked her, tilting his head to the side. Truth be told, he really did want to know more about her. At least, whatever she was willing to share with him.
It’s the worst thing you could do to yourself, a voice in his head told him, chastised him. Knowing more about her will only get you more attached, and you know that no matter what, you’re going to have to give her up.
But Paul ignored the voice.
“My mother died a couple of years ago,” she murmured, and though she was speaking to Paul, her eyes were on the scenery outside the glass barrier. “And I never knew my father.”
It would always seem that when one was distraught, one never knew what might cause them to indulge in tears. This was true for Mandy because suddenly, tears sprang into her eyes, and she couldn’t help but allow them to make a home there. And then, her body leaned into Paul, needing to feel physical support and warmth, needing to feel someone. “I just… I just feel so alone,” she murmured into his bare chest.
And once again, Paul didn’t know what to do to make her feel better. But after a moment, he wrapped his arms around the young woman and held her for as long as she needed.
Eleven
It could only be expected that she should have a dream that involved herself, Paul, and certain deeds that hadn’t happened for at least two years. Sexually repressed and forced celibacy were not terms Mandy had identified with; she simply didn’t want to have sex out without the prerequisite of a relationship, and since her standards of a relationship were high, it wasn’t all that surprising that she wouldn’t have sex in a while. But there were certain ways to handle sexual repression, and though there were times Mandy felt nothing short of lonely, she was content with her personal decision.
Except now her priorities had shifted. Not that she was going to go out and sleep with a hoard of guys, but after seeing things crumble to the ground, after knowing that her best friend was most likely dead, the apartment her mother had owned before she died destroyed, she wanted to feel intimate with somebody, at least just to allow herself to forget, however momentarily such a thing were to happen. And since Paul had saved her, and since she was a female and he was a very attractive male with an English accent, her subconscious couldn’t help but make the connection and offered her a sexual outlet in her dreams.
It was as though Paul was some sort of demon Casanova, because in her dreams, he had caressed her body with the utmost attention, and made sure that she was experiencing as much pleasure before even considering himself. And Mandy had never felt insecure about who she was or her body, at least not in her dreams. And it was like fire was mixing with fire, which only meant the room got hotter and hotter. She wasn’t as experienced as he was, of course, but she read Cosmopolitan religiously, and knew how to please a man.
Was it sad that the most powerful orgasm she had ever experienced was in her dream, with a man she didn’t even know that well? Apparently, that said quite a lot about her ex-boyfriend.
Mandy woke up from the dream feeling hot, flustered, and, more than anything else, desired. She knew many women who normally woke up embarrassed at having had a sex dream, but she had taken enough sexuality classes to realize that women shouldn’t be ashamed. Hell, if they got off and it was good, what was the problem? She closed her eyes momentarily, allowing herself to indulge in the tingles that remained from such an experience, a satisfied smile on her face.
When she was ready, she threw her legs over the bed and stood up. Paul was still sleeping, probably uncomfortably, in that arm chair. He really was adorable with his messy ginger hair. Mandy wondered if he really could inflict such pleasure in real life, and should he ever want to do so, wondered if she would say no. Another thought of that dream, and she realized she probably wouldn’t. Intimacy was craved, and pleasure even more so. And she couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful specimen.
With one last look at his serene face, Mandy headed into the tiny bathroom, nudging the door shut behind her but not checking to make sure that it actually did shut, and started to undress for a shower. Her whole body had gone numb now that she was awake, and as she stepped into the shower, tried to hold onto the happiness she had experienced in her dream so she wouldn’t be confronted with the thought that she was in danger, that everyone she knew might be hurt or dead, that there was a war going on between Heaven and Hell, and she really didn’t know what side Paul was on.
What if he was on the bad side, and he was just using her, accumulating her trust and then abusing it? But no, Paul wouldn’t do that to her, would he? Maybe she was being naively trustworthy, but there was something about those eyes that prevented her from believing that he was fully evil. It just wasn’t heard of. It couldn’t be.
Her eyes glanced around the small shower looking for any semblance of soap. When she found it, she grinned in triumph, and started washing her body. Instead of focusing on what Paul wasn’t, she decided to take in her surroundings. Mandy had never been a snob, but had to admit that this was definitely the smallest shower she had ever been in. Even the shower door reached only up to her neck, so her head was in full view. She caught sight of the pink flush still housed on her chest, and this time, she couldn’t help but blush a little bit.
Was it wrong to have fantasized about something like this with a man who had promised to protect her? Would she be able to look at him the same? Mandy thought she could, and it wasn’t like they had actually had sex or anything. She hadn’t done anything wrong. And every guy on the planet some time or the other always fantasized about having sex with at least one girl they knew. So Mandy concluded that when the genders were reversed, it was just as allowable.
She was thinking about this way too much. It was just one dream, and nothing more. It didn’t mean that she loved him or anything crazy as that. She just wanted to have sex with him.
“Stop thinking about having sex with him,” she told herself in a scolding manner. “Think about…”
What? a voice asked her. Think about the world? Think about the war going on? Think about the fact that there is a good chance that you, my
dear, are in a lot of danger which you don’t even realize? Think about the fact that you left Sarah to die?
“No,” she whispered to herself. “No, don’t think about that. Don’t think about any of that.”
The water continued to fall on her body.
Paul woke up to the sound of the shower, and when he realized Mandy wasn’t in bed, concluded that she was probably taking a shower. And, to be honest, Paul couldn’t exactly blame her. He assumed, of course, that it had more to do with the feeling of being dirty rather than actually being dirty. Humans were interesting that way; they seemed to be very emotional creatures a lot of the time, and acted based on their emotions rather than their rational. It was why demons had characterized them as weak creatures, but Paul seemed to believe otherwise. In fact, for humans to be as in tune with their emotions as they were, Paul thought they were all the stronger for it.
He stood up and stretched, expanding his eight foot wing span as he did so. Even fallen angels weren’t immune to sore backs and tense muscles after sleeping in the most uncomfortable chair man had ever created.
With that, he started to head towards the kitchen, hoping he remembered to buy some milk for the cereal. For the life of him, Paul didn’t recall one way or the other since he was incredibly sure that he wouldn’t find her, this girl. And yet here she was, in the apartment with him, and he couldn’t understand why, but somehow, she appeared as though she actually trusted him.
Speaking of which, Paul was now facing the bathroom door which, despite Mandy’s attempt, was not closed as she had thought, and was even opened probably due to the mist. He could see her face clearly, but the door was too misty to actually see her body. And interestingly enough, Paul found something like disappointment seep into his bloodstream. Her head was tilted back, and the water was hitting it before rolling down her slender neck, and from there, they disappeared, at least to Paul’s sight.
Killing by Captivation: A Gods & Monsters Prequel (Gods & Monsters Trilogy Book 0) Page 5