And then, without warning, Mandy’s head snapped up, and her eyes locked immediately with his. Her entire face colored, and yet, she couldn’t exactly be mad at him if she hadn’t shut the door all the way. Both were silent for what felt like forever, and then, “Get out!” she exclaimed. “Shut the door and get out!”
Given the fact that Paul had never actually entered the bathroom could be overlooked at the utter mortification the two were feeling, and without another thought, Paul reached in and quickly shut the door. He wasn’t sure who was more embarrassed about the situation – himself or her – and he wasn’t sure that it had mattered at that point since they both were.
It wasn’t as though this entire ordeal was his fault. The bathroom door had been left opened. It was an accident, simple as that. A happy accident.
And with that thought, Paul started to laugh.
Mandy had never been embarrassed about her body, but the fact that Paul was staring at her while she was showering was nothing short of surprising. And her cheeks seemed to regard her sentiment as true because they quickly turned red. Of all the times to not shut the bathroom door.
But it wasn’t his fault – if anything, it was hers.
And even she couldn’t help but find the situation slightly amusing.
Twelve
It wasn’t long before Mandy turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. Because there was only one towel, it took a while to actually dry off, thick head of hair included, and after she stepped out of the bathroom door in nothing but that particular towel, Paul couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of her. She looked… adorable, her hair pushed over one shoulder, leaving the slope of her neck visible. The damp hair left a trail of drops that fell onto the towel, and there was a shy smile on her face.
Mandy was going to ask him something, and yet, as he looked at her, he seemed to know exactly what it was that she was going to ask him.
“Would you like some clothes?” he asked her, his lilted voice not as full as he would have liked it.
She met his eyes, and instead of responding verbally, she merely nodded. However, she felt that this wasn’t suitable, and quickly said, “I’ve been wearing my clothes for a while. It would be nice to change into something… clean.” The smile on her face convinced him all the more, but he probably would have done it anyways. Actually, he knew he would have, and in a manner of moments, he brought back an olive green shirt and some pajama pants that would probably swallow her whole.
Mandy thanked him softly, and quickly retreated into the bathroom to change, while Paul constantly scolded himself at these ridiculous feelings he could feel brimming on his surface. She wasn’t his, she belonged to his Creator, and as a result, was the key to his happiness. She would get him to be human. He couldn’t go around having feelings for her when he knew he couldn’t have her. But somehow, it always seemed to work that way, didn’t it? You always wanted what you couldn’t have, and Paul felt this with Mandy.
He couldn’t actually pinpoint when he had begun to want her for himself. It was a funny thing; he had only known her for a little over a week, and while the movies felt that this was ample time to fall in love with someone, reality proved that, under most circumstances, it was not. And Paul knew he wasn’t in love with her, but he found that he got speechless around her, questioning his entire purpose, and above all else, wondering out of all the women, why she was the one.
There was no question that Mandy was the one his Master had spoken of. “You will know her when you see her,” He had told Paul, and upon first glance, Paul thought she was just some girl, another face in the millions he had seen. And then she had seen his wings and actually confronted him about said wings. And the rest, as they said, was history.
“Get a grip, man,” he murmured to himself, running his fingers through his hair.
And he had every intention to get a grip, except that resolve went out the window once Mandy walked back out of the bathroom. As Paul had expected, she looked as though she was drowning in his clothes, but more than that, she looked good in his clothes. It was ridiculous, and not so at the same time. But no, he couldn’t think about things like that right now, especially when War was indeed taking place, and Satan knew of her existence. This entire feeling he felt for her was just a crush, and he would most certainly get over her.
He hoped.
Mandy looked at Paul as he looked at her. In fact, she didn’t think that he even noticed where her eyes were because he seemed to be thinking about something deeply. Tilting her head slightly to the side, Mandy couldn’t help but wonder what it was that he was thinking about. Whatever it was, he seemed to be wrapped around it pretty tightly. It was then that she realized Paul probably wasn’t used to any company. Given the state of the apartment, how small it was, the fact that there was barely any furniture anywhere… He was probably used to living by himself. This thought caused her to frown, and she tilted her chin downwards, her hair falling in her face.
“You must be lonely,” she murmured, more to herself than to him, and yet Paul’s sharp ears heard her anyways.
The words take Paul by surprise and he couldn’t help but look up, locking eyes with Mandy. He opened his mouth as though he was about to speak and then shut it, unsure of what to say.
“Have you always been by yourself?” Mandy asked, taking a step towards him. “I mean, if humans can see you and not your wings… Surely you’ve been in love before, haven’t you? Can you even feel love, or does that come only after you’ve changed into a human?” She had no idea why she was babbling, but once she started, she couldn’t stop herself, no matter how badly she tried. And yet her insatiable curiosity would not prevent her to do so up until all the questions she wanted answered we asked. With that, she held her breath, but she couldn’t understand why.
Paul wasn’t exactly sure where to start, but that was probably because he didn’t know how to answer her questions. Obviously people could see him minus the wings, of course, and there have been numerous women who have caught his eye and had indulged in. He could feel desire, of course, but love? Finally, an ironic sort of smile touched his lips and he pulled his eyes from the carpet, and pooled them into hers.
“I’ll let you know if I ever find out,” he murmured, and Mandy felt her heart do a little jump at the sound of his voice and the overall way he was looking at her right then.
Suddenly, she smiled and nodded once. “I’d like that,” she said, glancing away for a moment. “So.” She began to rub her hands together, her eyes scanning the vacant. “What are we supposed to do now? I mean, now that we seem to be out of danger. Just wait around?” Her voice sounded hopeful that that was not the case.
“Well, we can’t do anything else,” Paul told her, sliding his hands loosely in the pockets of his pants. “We can’t go outside. It’s too dangerous to walk around, however isolated this little apartment complex might be. Angels just seem to know where things are when they want them the most.” This time, his smile was cynical more so than ironic, and Mandy could tell he must have had some personal experience regarding angels and finding things.
She wanted to ask him more about it, but stopped herself and sighed through her nose. “Fine,” she agreed. “But there has to be something we can do. Hmm.” She gently began to chew on her bottom lip, her eyes scanning the hallway and then the closet doors.
Paul was most certainly amused by her determination, and couldn’t help but want to see just what she would find. “All right then,” he agreed. “If you find something for us to do, we’ll do it. To pass the time, of course.”
As Mandy began to run around the apartment, looking in drawers and under the bed, in closets and cupboards, Paul watched her with nothing short of humor sparkling in his pale blue eyes. He highly doubted she would find anything unless the previous owners had forgotten something, but he highly doubted such a thing was to happen. Nonetheless, she gave him something to do; he was quite content with watching her search in the most random places.
Okay, so he had a crush on her. There was nothing wrong with that. In fact, Satan should have expected something like that to happen, after all. What more could He expect, what with pairing Paul with a woman only a few years younger than he was who also happened to be quite attractive…? Attraction was most definitely in the cards, and as long as Paul didn’t actually act on those feelings or fall for her more so than he already had, he would be safe, right?
And anyways, being a human was crucial to his happiness, more so than Mandy was… right?
He didn’t want to think about it. In fact, Paul wouldn’t think about it, banishing all other thoughts from his mind. He didn’t have to worry about giving her up yet, so there was no need to get himself worked up and conflicted about it yet.
A squeal from the hallway closet broke Paul out of his revelries and snapping his head towards Mandy’s direction.
She nearly tripped out of the closet, but Mandy didn’t care. In her hand was a box – a game - she hadn’t played since she was a kid, and she couldn’t wait to show it to Paul. Surely he hadn’t played it before.
“What did you find?” the fallen angel asked, tilting his head to the side as his eyes tried to decipher the words on the box.
Mandy smiled mysteriously, and held up the box so he could see it clearly. “Twister,” she replied.
Thirteen
“Okay,” Mandy said, opening the box and grabbing the mat. “So, I’m going to guess that you have no idea how to play this game, right?” Paul said nothing, but smiled at her nonetheless, amusement twinkling in his pale blue eyes. “Well, let me inform you.” She set up the mat with red, yellow, blue, and green dots on it. “Basically, you spin this arrow” - she showed him what she was referring to – “and when it lands on something, you do what it’s supposed to tell you. Like if it lands on right hand green, you put your right hand on any green dots.” She arched a challenging brow. “So, you up for the challenge, Paul?”
The way she said his name caused a shiver to slide down his spine, and he didn’t trust himself to respond verbally, so he nodded instead.
This caused Mandy to smile, and then placed the arrow on the floor. “Okay, let’s try it,” she said, and Paul walked over towards her. “Here. You go first. You’re new to it.” She tilted her head to the side ever so slightly. “Now, you understand the game right? You don’t have any questions.” Before Paul could say anything, she quickly continued. “Oh, and you lose by falling or losing your balance or anything of the like. Got it?”
“Clear as crystal,” he told her. Paul would never admit this aloud of course, but he was looking forward to playing this game with her. Well, to be honest, he was looking forward to doing anything with her. It was slightly cliché and too cheesy to ever say it, but just being around this particular woman made him feel… Well, he really didn’t know what it felt like to be alive, but certainly he was coming close.
It was the third game, and Paul had attempted to place his left foot on a bloody yellow dot, but he managed to trip over Mandy and before either of them knew it, they were both falling down, laughing as they did so.
“I must admit,” Paul said, looking down at her, “that was a lot more fun than I ever expected it to be.”
“I told you,” Mandy said, her eyes lighting up in such a way that it seemed her whole face was, at that moment, the essence of happiness.
For a moment, the two simply stared at each other, reading eyes, sculpting contours, dropping eyes to lips and wondering just what it might be like to actually –
Mandy had no idea what gave her such courage to do what she did. It probably had to do with the dream she had had the previous night, the fact that life as she knew it had changed so directly that she wanted to be in control of something, and it probably had to do with the fact that she wanted nothing more than to kiss his lips just to taste him, and she had felt that way since the moment he had walked into the café she had worked at. So, upon that moment of silence between the two of them, Mandy tilted her head to the side, dropped her eyes to his lips, and touched her own with his. Her eyes fluttered closed and for a moment, she felt as though nothing else mattered. Kissing a man who was little more than a stranger, something she had never done before, was probably the most thrilling experience she had ever been a part of.
Paul felt his entire breath slip out of his body, and all he could think about was how good she tasted and how he shouldn’t be doing this. And yet, he still couldn’t bring himself to pull away from her, not until he memorized everything about her.
But then that aggravating voice in his head, the one he kept in order to remind him of his goal, murmured something along the lines of the fact that he was fucking up everything he wanted. Abruptly, he pulled away. “I,” he said, slightly breathless. “We can’t do this.”
Mandy blushed, glancing downwards. “I’m sorr-“
But before she could finish that particular sentence, his lips were on hers again. He wasn’t exactly sure, at that moment, what had gotten into him, but somehow that annoying voice had disappeared, leaving only his desire, his want for the woman. And he really didn’t have it in him to refuse her now. Not when he had to give her – No, he wouldn’t think about that either.
His hands cupped her cheeks and she tilted her head back, deepening the kiss so he now had free reign to explore the inside of her mouth. Her hands slid up his chest and locked around his neck, pressing her body against him as her fingers lost themselves in the ginger locks of his hair. When they had to break a part to breathe, Paul couldn’t exactly let her go, and started to kiss the long column of her throat.
When she whimpered, he knew that there would be no turning back. He had to have her, if only once. His hands dropped from her cheek and rested on her hips only for a moment, before they began to slide the shirt – his shirt – up, over her head and onto the floor. Paul didn’t feel her pull away – he would have stopped if she had, but if anything, she only encouraged his ministrations, up until Mandy flipped him over so he was on his back while simultaneously sliding his shirt up over his head.
For a moment, she just stared at him, a grin nothing short of goofy littered on her face. Yes, Mandy had seen him without a shirt on before, but this was different. This time, she was touching that body, and if she was honest, she was loving every single minute of it. His hands reached up and grabbed her waist, pushing her downwards so she could feel just how much he wanted her at that exact moment. While she was distracted, Paul wrapped an arm around her waist, and switched positions, so he was back on top.
It was mere moments before the two were both nude and enjoying the presence of the other. Just before he entered her, however, Paul pulled his head up from her neck to look at her, study her face, her eyes, that smile. God, he wanted to feel her from the inside. She looked absolutely beautiful there, a glow, a flush, casting her in an entirely different light. That silly voice that told him that this entire situation was not to be borne was promptly quieted, and he smiled as he leaned down, and kissed Mandy on the lips.
When he broke apart from her, his eyes looked at her as though he was about to say something, but Mandy placed a finger on his lips before he could do so. “Don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t say anything. Just make it last.”
That seemed to be all the assurance Paul needed, and with that, he eased himself into her. He had to bite his bottom lip from groaning aloud, and when he looked down, he saw that Mandy had done the exact same thing.
Making love was a concept Paul had been quite familiar with, but interestingly enough, it was a different experience each time. Some encounters were a learning experience for him, some were just for fun, some were absolutely horrible due to inebriation or bad judgment, and some were nothing short of amazing. The difference between all of that and his time with Mandy, however, was the fact that he had liked her beforehand. There was more than just a strong attraction to her; he genuinely liked her. Maybe that was why this whole experience suddenly had a category of i
ts own.
As he continued to thrust inside of her, it felt as though this was where he belonged. Paul, like many angels – fallen or not – didn’t believe in the concept of perfection. It simply didn’t exist because nothing could be perfect to everyone. And yet, he couldn’t find a word that better described what he was feeling at this very moment. Her slick wetness, her tight walls encompassing him, her nails slowly sinking in his back, her shortness of breath, her groans.
And the feeling she was giving him was indescribable as well. As he watched her reach her plateau, he couldn’t help but notice that his heart constricted, and whether it was from guilt or something else, something unfamiliar, well, he couldn’t exactly say. And to be honest, he didn’t want to dwell on it right then.
But he should have realized it from the first moment he had met her. Now that he thought about, he couldn’t believe how stupid he had been, and making love to her now was probably the worst thing he could have done.
Paul was never going to give her up. He couldn’t. Now that he had her, he wanted to keep her as his own. How could he go anywhere else, to any other woman, who had yet to make him feel one half of what Mandy made him feel? He climaxed deeply buried into her, groaning as he did so. She was kissing his neck, fully content in everything, and once he finished, he looked deeply in her eyes for something. Maybe it was regret? He didn’t know, but he couldn’t find it.
Nor could he feel it.
Fourteen
His eyes followed the scattered sunlight that peaked through the vines and littered her face. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful when she slept. After they had finished, Paul had grabbed a blanket from his bedroom and placed it around her after he slid up next to her. The Twister game was long ago forgotten and all but discarded. Mandy’s eyes were closed and her breathing was steady; she was asleep with a satisfied smirk littered upon her lips. And as he looked at her, he couldn’t help but smile in return.
Killing by Captivation: A Gods & Monsters Prequel (Gods & Monsters Trilogy Book 0) Page 6