“I need to call Kat and Juls. I need to call her parents. Let’s leave Peyton at school for now.”
Compassionate friend mode slipped away. I actually felt it happen. Promises had been made that I intended to keep. Promises for the sake of Peyton. Clinician easily slid right into place. This role was simple—my comfort zone.
When I spun around, Mac was behind me. Like, right behind me.
“Mac…” I’d forgotten he was there.
“What can I do?”
I shook my head. “Nothing. You should probably go.”
The man I wanted in my life was shockingly asking to stay and the friend I never wanted to lose—was going—forever. The pain in my heart lurched with an irony that was tremendously unfair and ridiculously unjust.
“Let me help you,” he said softly, his baritone voice reverberating deep in my chest.
Never in my life had I asked for help. I’d managed forty years with very little help.
“Mac…” I said for the second time in a matter of a minute.
“Sam.” He wasn’t backing down either.
“Fine, Sherlock Holmes. Since clearly you’ve managed to keep tabs on me, find out where I live, find me at work, kidnap me and still be standing her before me…tell my friends they need to get here now.”
When I stepped past him, I inhaled, catching his scent, which made my knees wobbly. His hand caught my elbow, steadying me.
“Listen, Samantha Williams or Dr. Casey, whichever it is,” he grumbled into my ear, sending a surge of goose bumps over my body. “You can be mad at me later…let me help you with this now.”
Then he released my elbow and walked around me, out the front door and to his car.
Chapter 22~ Mac
The blaring sun baked my already tan skin as I laid sprawled out in the lounger, tossing the tennis ball at the stone wall. I’d finished my work out and come outside to sweat the rest out. The absurd heat pulled every drop of sweat easily from my pores.
“What the hell are you doing?” Blake asked, coming around the corner in his khaki pants and silk shirt. “We need to hit the road.”
“I told Sam we wouldn’t be there until 4. And let’s get one thing straight, you’re not going into her home to pound the fuck out of Juls, you got it?”
“Mac. Seriously? Growing up, I kicked your living ass in all those etiquette and gentleman courses. Fuck you for thinking otherwise.”
As he shuffled away from me, I reluctantly got up and walked inside with him. The cold air-conditioned air washed over me.
“Blake. I know you’re good. I just… her friend is dying.”
He turned sharply into me, in somewhat of a stand off. Our chests were nearly touching.
“Have I ever let you down before? Huh? What the fuck has gotten into you, Mac?”
Simple guttural instinct forced my chest to bump his as my lip pulled up. I didn’t want to admit that anything had gotten to me. But she had. Disengaging, I back stepped, walking to my office. Though I attempted to slam the door, he stopped it with the slap of his palm.
“Answer me. What have I ever done…”
“Just shut the fuck up. I shouldn’t have said it. Of course you’ll be professional.”
Ruffling some papers, he sat on the corner of my desk. “We are professionals, Mac. You need to remember that. We worked hard to get where we are. Don’t go and grow a conscience now.”
My jaw ticked back and forth while my teeth ground together.
“It’s too late, buddy. I told you, I’m getting out. I’m selling.”
I knew he was frustrated—maybe even angry as he shook his head.
“You’re like a goddamn moth drawn into her flame.”
“Yep.”
“Does she know? What we do? Does she know?”
Making a steeple out of my two index fingers, I arched back into my chair and rested my fingers on my nose mulling over his question.
“No. She doesn’t know my real first name and there’s hardly anything out there on me with Mac.”
When he got to his feet, he straightened the papers and then casually walked to the door smoothing his slacks. “What do you think a woman of her caliber, a wealthy doctor in Tahoe, just might do when she finds out—she’s in love with a man who gets paid by women to dominate them? We are whores, man. Very well paid whores.”
As angry as his words made me, as much as my blood simmered at the thought, and as much as my pulse cussed in my ears with the truth, what Blake said was reality. That is exactly what kept me at bay on the cruise…but I couldn’t deny it anymore. I had to know if she would have me.
When I saw her for the second time, her red, swollen eyes hit me like a punch in the gut. All three of them had shed tears; it was evident on their faces. Yet, both Kat and Juls welcomed me with a hug. They’d seen me at my worst the last two days of the cruise. Neither bailed on the friendship we’d made, but they also stayed loyal to their friend, which comforted me in some strange way.
There was also something about this house that felt like home to me. As Sam welcomed us through the door, and as we all hugged each other, I spotted the cocksucker across the room, sitting with knees crossed on the sofa. Truth is, I’m not sure who spotted whom first, but his beady eyes zoned in on me.
“How is she?” I pulled Sam close, not only to smell and feel her, but also to make a statement to him.
“I think it’ll be anytime,” she said with a crack in her voice. Her head fell forward…shoulders rounded. I kissed the top of her head, securing her up against my body. For a brief moment, her body conceded and went limp. She grasped onto me for stability. I’d have held her up for as long as she needed.
Jake trotted down the enormous staircase and came straight toward us. For being 15 years old, he sure intimidated the shit out of me.
“Jake. These are my friends. Blake and Mac.”
Jake grinned when he looked at me. He lifted the sleeve of his t-shirt eyeing his bicep then glanced at mine.
“Big Mac,” he said, making me smile.
I flexed and winked at him.
“Nice to meet you guys,” he said, shaking both my hand and Blake’s. “You ready, Dad?”
Dickhead stood and, with the worst swagger known to man, strolled toward us. Jake walked over toward Becca and brushed a kiss across her forehead.
“How about Big Mac keeps his special sauce to himself?” Bryan grunted as he passed Sam.
Naturally, my teeth bared. Sam, instinctively, stood a little bit closer to me.
“Don’t do this,” she hissed at Bryan. “Not here. Not now. Not in front of Jake.”
Jake was kneeling down whispering to a younger girl. She smiled up at him as he wrapped his arm around her. The precious girl’s face lit up as she hugged him back. I wondered if this was Peyton, Becca’s daughter.
Jake came toward us, reaching out for his mother with tears in his eyes.
“Mom,” he cried. “I feel so bad for Peyton,” he whispered.
“I know, baby. I know. She’s part of us now.”
Embarrassed, he swiped his hands down his face, erasing the tears. “Call me if something happens. Ok?”
From her tiptoes, Sam kissed his cheek. “You know I will. Peyton is going over to Bree’s for the night.”
Something funny happened in my chest as I watched them. So different than the last time I saw my own mother.
As Jake walked out with his piece-of-shit father, I knew that no matter how much I didn’t want to admit it, a part of Sam’s heart walked out that door with him.
I’d never seen anyone leave this world before. When Becca took her last breath, I experienced the most intensely emotional moment of my life. Four women brought together as friends…sisters by choice…losing one of their own. The girls wept as Blake and I watched.
Stunned when Juls, the badass girl, was unable to maintain and fled the room. Blake followed. Sam was more together than any of them, shedding tears but still playing her role as doctor. I
watched as she hugged them, wiped her face and began making calls. Maggie, the nurse, teetered behind her waiting for instruction.
I wanted to go to Sam. Take control for her. Give her the break that she deserved. When I walked into the kitchen, she sat slouched on the soapstone counter with the phone to her ear.
“Time of death. 11:51pm. Yes. Cremated. Ok.”
Her head fell as quickly as the phone. She didn’t know I was there watching her…I stepped forward, making myself known. When her eyes focused on mine, her face broke…her spirit damaged.
“Mac,” she cried.
At superhero speed I was between her legs, smashing her against my chest. Her entire body shook with hurt. I knew her well enough from our nine short days together to know that she didn’t want to need me, but damn, I needed her to need me. All of me.
“Shh. I’ve got you.”
Time could have stood still or flown by…I’m not really sure how long we stood there, but I knew I’d stand there as long as she needed. Yet, when the doorbell rang, she immediately retracted to professional mode, smiling resolutely at me and pushing off the counter. Her phone still lay there.
I swiped the unlock button at the bottom, and her phone flashed open. She had no password. I opened the messages, and whether I should have or not, I sent Jake a message.
Chapter 23 ~ Sam
After the coroner left, a different emptiness set in—a reality of knowing I would never see my friend again. I would never hold her hand. I would never smell her scent. I would never laugh with her. I would never be able to give her shit for the horrible dates. I laughed alone, resting my head on the front door.
“What’s so funny?”
I cautiously turned toward Mac who rested against the frame of the doorway. Exhaustion coated his face, yet he offered me that damn sideways grin of his that made my toes curl.
“Remind me to tell you sometime about the dates she set me up on,” I said, walking toward him.
“Bad?” he asked with a cocked brow.
“Awful. Would you like to stay…” I said, casting my glance downward. “Stay the night?”
“Yes,” he said without thinking.
The lines between us were so blurred. His words from the cruise still haunted me about not wanting more.
I pointed up the staircase. “I’m the door at the end of the hall if you want to go up.”
He nodded. “Can I help you down here and we can go up together?”
“No. I’m done for tonight. Just grabbing a couple of things.”
“What about Peyton?” he asked.
I can’t say I wasn’t shocked that he didn’t ask about Jake, but his concern was understandable and heartfelt.
“Tomorrow. We will tell her tomorrow.”
With a simple nod, Mac headed up the stairs.
In the kitchen, I turned off all the lights, grabbed my phone and then tossed a blanket over Kat, who’d fallen asleep on the sofa next to Becca’s bed. After I’d checked the front door, I glanced down at my phone.
“Shit!” I ‘d missed a message from Jake.
Thanks Mac. I’ll stay here until morning.
I glanced at the text before walking up the stairs.
Hey buddy. This is Mac. Wanted you to know that it happened. Things are crazy here. Your mom’s exhausted. If you want to come home, I can come grab you. Let me know. Hoping your mom will be resting. My number 775-040-9898
My heart swelled, and the tears that had been at bay only for a short time overwhelmed me again. Fearing I would lose my composure in front of Mac, I slid down the wall trying to calm myself. What did he want? What was he looking for? Why was he being so…perfect? As if reading my thoughts, the door opened. His expression crumbled when he saw me sitting there with my phone in my hand. Before I could stand, he swooped down and picked me up.
“You texted Jake,” I cried.
Immediately, he sat me down; a look of apprehension flashed across his face. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to upset you. I thought that…”
Without thinking, my fingertips covered his lips, shushing him. Bless his heart; he thought I was upset. Things had never felt so intimate between us before.
“Mac. Don’t apologize. It overwhelmed me…in a good way.”
Taking my hand in his, he kept my fingers pressed against his lips and began kissing the tips…softly…slowly…erotically. Gently, he tugged me toward the bed.
A small gnawing in my gut roared up at me not to do this. Bail. Make him leave. Send him to the guest bedroom. This Norse God will only hurt you. DO YOU WANT MORE, MAC? NO!
“Raise your arms.”
I did exactly as he asked. My best friend had just died…this was not what I wanted…Yes, it was what I wanted. What I needed. I craved the comfort of his arms. Anything to lessen the pain.
After unfastening my bra, Mac tossed my shirt to the floor and then pulled his undershirt up and over his head. Surprising me, he tugged his warm shirt over my head; his scent swam through my nose, robbing me of breath.
“Sit.”
I sat. Staring at him for any sort of direction, I was a mute. He knelt and removed my shoes one at a time.
“Lay back.”
The blinks of his eyes were slow…deliberate…hypnotizing. I’d been under his spell since the first moment I met him. I laid back. After unbuttoning my pants, he inched them down, leaving my panties in place. The covers on the bed were next. He drew them down smoothly, nodding his head for me to slide into the exposed triangle of sheets. I did. I watched as he shed his body of everything but his boxers. God, Becca would be cheering in heaven at this.
Mac slid beneath the covers on the other side of the bed and then edged toward me until he spooned…cocooned me.
Following the gentlest of kisses brushed over my forehead, his sea blue eyes gazed down at me with the most depth I’d ever seen in them.
“Sleep,” he whispered.
Those were the last words I expected to hear, but he left me no choice as he snuggled me closer and closed his eyes.
Chapter 24 ~ Mac
“Mac…”
I heard the voice lulling me from my sleep.
“Mac…” she drew it out.
Had I fallen asleep with a client? Jesus, what was wrong with me? I’d been all sorts of whacked lately. More alert, I composed myself and gathered my poker face. I opened my eyes.
Instantly, all of her hit me at once. Her beauty. Her scent. Her breath. Her. All of her. Sam…
“Hey,” I whispered, regretting my sleepy thoughts.
Her green eyes penetrated me—my vulnerabilities exposed to her. I closed my own eyes for a moment.
“Mac,” she repeated.
Conceding, I opened them again, glancing at the clock, which read 3:30.
“What’s wrong?”
She shook her head. “Nothing.”
That was one of those nothing’s that meant something, I just knew it.
“Tell me,” I continued.
Her long inhalation made me nervous, fully waking me.
“Mac.”
That was the fourth Mac. This was not going to be good.
“Please…make love to me…”
No. No. No. No. My mind reeled. Did she have a clue the intense restraint it had taken three hours ago when I undressed her? Her beautiful body at the tips of my fingers, yet I forced myself to let her sleep. And then, her body right next to me, tangled with mine, my cock at complete attention. Her green pools of lust greedily begged me to sink myself into her.
My cock had been in hundreds of women, yet I knew in my soul she was my missing puzzle piece. I needed her humor. I needed her spunk. She challenged me in a way no woman ever had.
“Baby, listen…” I roughly whispered.
When her hand cupped my cock, I pulled a sharp breath between my teeth. I don’t know who I was trying to convince more that I could be a gentleman and not seduce her…her or me…but it was a battle I was losing.
“Jesus, wom
an.”
“Please, Mac. Make the pain go away. Just for a little bit.”
In a matter of seconds, I tucked half her body beneath mine, every ounce of me ready to possess every ounce of her. I’d make her forget the pain. I’d make her forget every man from her past. I’d make her forget my words to her on the cruise when I hurt her with my “no”…about wanting more. I didn’t want more…I wanted it all.
I kissed where tears fell earlier, tasting a hint of salt on her cheeks. With eyes closed, her neck arched, giving me full access to her face. While one elbow supported my head, my other hand skidded down her face, committing every mark, every shape to memory. Since meeting her…since falling for her…a metamorphosis had taken place inside of me. A transition so vast—everything I ever knew, ever believed in was no more. I didn’t understand it. I couldn’t explain it. But I also couldn’t fight it. .
Taking the utmost care, I dropped gentle kisses down her neck until I reached my t-shirt she wore. As if reading my thoughts, she whipped it up and over her head, baring her breasts to me. A dry swallow got stuck somewhere in my throat. Before my mouth tasted her nipple, I leaned down and released the softest of kisses against her lips.
Surrendering to my wishes, her legs fell open welcoming me. Her thighs were warm from our body heat, and as my lips glided over them, she bowed toward me. She wanted this as much as I did.
As I stared at her glistening lips, the only thing that crossed my mind was how much I needed her to be mine…only mine. The thought of another man touching her, pleasing her, taking her in any way, made me shudder with rage. I wanted to be the only man to ever please her again.
When my tongue grazed up her center, a harsh exhale seeped from her lips. This pleased me. Spreading her lips with my fingertips, my tongue circled her swollen clit. Her entire body quivered at the touch.
“Mac…please…make me come,” she whined.
I stopped the stimulation. “Baby, I just got started.”
“No. Please. I need this now. Then I need you inside of me.”
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