Disarranged

by Sara Wolf

  Police.

  There's dozens of cars in the parking lot, and several officers wandering around outside the lodge. Lee helps me inside, and the number of officers triples. In a small town with not much to do, any disturbance is as good as an excuse as any for a maximum response. Grace runs up to me and slams into me, hugging me around the neck so tight for a second I can't breathe. She does the same to Lee, but punches him in the chest before hugging him. Her beautiful face is red and her eyes are puffy, an indicator of just how much she's cried in the past few days. Her hair is disheveled. Our disappearance really did a number on her.

  "You idiots." She sniffs, then yells. "You idiots!"

  She hugs us both at the same time, and her phone starts ringing wildly. She looks at it.

  "Jen," she says. "She's so worried it's not even funny. Here, Rose, you talk to her."

  As I try to persuade Jen that no, I am not in fact half-eaten by a bear and talking from the afterlife to her, I see Lee stride off in the direction of a small crowd. Kiera's in the middle, and Felix is with her. Several police officers are asking her questions, and she's snapping at them with a mean look on her face. In the back of the little circle I can see Farlon, sitting at a chair and watching the Kiera interaction with a smug look on his face.

  When Jen is sufficiently reassured that I'm not pulling a Sixth Sense on her, I walk over to Farlon. Grace doesn't. He looks up at me and smiles.

  "Rose. Good to see you alive and well. Both of you."

  "That's what you meant," I say slowly. "Before I left to look for Morgan. You knew I was pregnant."

  "There are subtle signs," he sighs. "I've bred mares all my life, and contrary to what humanity likes to believe, we are not all that different in our physical signs of health from animals. I admit, I'm not the best breeder, and I've been lazy and indolent managing the ranch, but since I was a young boy I've had the innate talent of sensing what mares were pregnant and which were not. It's a gift, you could say. When Lee and Grace's mother was still alive, it would anger her to no end when I'd realize she was pregnant before her."

  He chuckles.

  "How -" I start.

  "It's the way you walk, mostly," he says quickly. "Wider, and with a strange lilt to the gait. That's why I was following you around the lodge - I had to make sure I was correct."

  I'm almost offended he's comparing me to a horse, but I'm also amazed. Vivienne didn't even guess at it until I'd stayed with her for six days, but all Farlon had to do was stalk me through the lodge halls once or twice. He sighs.

  "Frankly, I would welcome a grandchild. I know Lee and Grace have less than stellar impressions of their own father, but I'd like to hold a grandchild in my arms, just once, even if they wouldn't allow me any other contact with it."

  His voice is kept carefully level, but I can hear the dark fragment of sadness buried deep within it. It bleeds out over his words and makes it clear as day that he wants nothing more than to hold, love, and spoil a grandchild. But he's convinced he'll never get that chance, and he's realizing, just now, how far he's alienated his own son and daughter.

  "I don't - I don't even know if I'm going to keep it," I murmur.

  "It would be nice if you did. He doesn't know, of course?" Farlon jerks his head to Lee, and I nod. "Yes, well. He's very dense with these sorts of things. And it seems you two have only recently reconciled. Perhaps it's for the best not to have it."

  I flinch. Just the thought of not having it stabs an icicle of pain into my ribs, right between them and to my heart, twisting there like a cold finger of torture. Farlon raises an eyebrow.

  "Do you want to keep it? That is truly all that matters in these sorts of things. It is your body."

  "I do!" I shout, a little too loud. I lower my voice. "I really do. I want that...more than anything."

  He smiles, faintly. "That is good to hear. If the time comes when you are about to give birth, I would offer you the ranch to stay at. The Spanish countryside will be beautiful in six months. September is when we start training the foals for show, and the leaves of every tree turn gold. The groundskeeper has planted a vegetable garden, too, and the smell of rosemary and lavender is everywhere. You would eat well and rest well - I would ensure that much."

  "It sounds amazing. It's a really nice offer, thank you. But I have to talk to Lee about everything, first."

  "Indeed. He is a little young to be a father, but then again, so was I."

  Farlon and I watch Kiera as the police officers question her. She looks so frustrated. Lee's hanging on the edges, and Felix looks almost relieved.

  "What happened?" I ask.

  Farlon laughs. "Her friend Felix approached me. He knows who I am, of course. Kiera called me here to...partake in some illicit activities that involved a young girl and a date rape drug. I refused to do it, of course. I am cruel, but I am a grown man - above such petty games you children play. During the blizzard, Felix told me he did it instead, and that he regretted it. I offered to call some people who knew some people, and here we are."

  I furrow my brow. Kiera's voice is so loud it's easy to hear the conversation even from where I'm standing.

  "I have no idea what you're talking about!" She screeches. "I don't even know what GHB is! Don't you dare touch me! Do you have any idea who my father is?"

  It's then that the lodge doors open, and Charlie Rothman walks through the door. He looks the same as ever - broad in the shoulders, with almost pure white hair. Kiera has his piercing blue eyes, but not much else. When Kiera sees him, she breaks free of the police circle and runs to hug him.

  "Daddy! Tell these idiots they can't arrest me!"

  Charlie frowns, and speaks in a low voice to the officers. I can't hear what he's saying, but Kiera can, and her face pales with his every word. She stamps her foot and glares at Felix, who stands tall against her searing gaze.

  "You can't!" She points at him. "You can't testify against me! You have no proof!"

  Felix fishes around in his pocket and holds up a USB drive.

  "This is you, asking me to get the GHB. Your voice, Kiera. Your plan," he says.

  "You idiot - you'll go to jail too!" She wrings her hands. I've never seen her this nervous or anxious before.

  "That's fine," Felix scoffs. "As long as it means you learn your lesson, too."

  "Daddy! You can't!"

  Charlie looks to Farlon and nods, and Farlon nods back.

  "I'm sorry, Kiera," Charlie says. "But it's high time someone stopped you. I love you, but I can't stand around idly while you go down this path of destroying others."

  "I'm not -" Kiera makes a half-laugh, half-scoff. "I'm not destroying anyone! Felix put the GHB in her drink, I saw him! It's his fault!"

  "For being my daughter," Charlie interrupts. "And having gone to Stanford Law, you are awfully self-incriminating. You just said you had no idea what GHB was, and now you admit to seeing him put that exact thing in someone's drink? I advise, as your lawyer, you remain silent."

  Kiera fumes silently, glaring daggers between Lee and Felix and I. She sees Farlon last, and points accusingly at him.

  "You! You did this! You backstabbing little weasel! We had a deal!"

  Farlon shrugs languidly. Lee and Grace look to him, both their faces a mixture of confusion and incredulity. I can read their thoughts, almost; their father? The man they hated so much - he was the one who finally put a stop to Kiera hurting me?

  "That's not all she did," Felix says. The entire lobby's watching the scuffle, now. "Ask your friend from NASA what she wanted to know, Mr. Rothman."

  Charlie raises a heavy brow at Kiera, who snarls.

  "Shut up, worm!"

  "She was the one!" Morgan chimes in, running over and pulling on Kiera's skirt. "She was the one who told me Rose got lost on the Alligator!"

  "Be quiet!" Kiera snaps, giving a little kick of her leg. Morgan lands on her butt, and her parents quickly scoop her up and away from the furious Kiera.

  "The witness testimony i
s overwhelmingly against you." Charlie shakes his head. "Let's go."

  "Go where? I'm not going anywhere! I haven't done anything wrong! Lee! Lee, tell them! I haven't done anything wrong!" Kiera screams. Two officers hold her arms, and she fights against them, lunging for Lee, who stands a few feet away. He's her last hope - the only person who hasn't turned against her. He's watching her with remorseful eyes, and I know he's torn. But beneath the tear, he's making a decision, once and for all. Lee looks at me, and smiles, and then turns back.

  "Goodbye, Kiera," he murmurs.

  "No!" Kiera shouts. "No, no, no! Lee! Tell them they're wrong, Lee!"

  "Kiera Rothman, you are under arrest," One police officer says in highly French-accented English. "For the purchase of Class B illicit drugs on French soil."

  "Daddy!" Kiera screams.

  "Be quiet," He says, calmly and steadily. "You're lucky it's not a murder charge. Let's go, officers."

  At his word the officers turn and leave, and one of them puts Kiera in cuffs. She wrenches around, trying desperately to escape, but their grip is like iron. She looks to me, her face now wet with tears, and her perfect bun askew on her head.

  “Please! Rose, you have to help me. Please! I never meant to hurt you. I never – I just wanted –”

  Lee. It goes unsaid between us. She just wanted Lee. So did I. I backed off the last time. This is just like the Christmas charity ball, but this time I’ll tell her how I feel. I’ll fight for what I want, instead of letting it slip through my fingers.

  “I’m sorry,” I say to her as she passes, the police officers jerking her along. “But I want him, too.”

  Her tear-stained face slowly dissolves, the pitiful look in her eye turning ferocious.

  “Bitch! You fucking bitch! You were planning this all along! I swear to you – I’ll never forgive you! You ruined everything! Everything! You ruined everything!”

  Her shouts become sobs as she gets farther and farther away. Felix nods to me, and I nod to him, knowing it’s a sort of farewell as he follows her, also in handcuffs. Kiera might hate being arrested, but Felix is right where he wants to be – next to her. Maybe now that she’s lost everything, she’ll notice she still has something, someone, right beside her.

  Charlie walks up to me, and shakes my hand.

  “I wanted to apologize personally for my daughter’s behavior. From what Farlon’s told me, you’ve suffered the brunt of it.”

  “It’s…it’s really alright. You don’t have to apologize. I still owe you – you bought my parents’ house and saved their business, so –”

  “Nonsense,” he scoffs. “If it weren’t for you, and Farlon’s concern for you, I would’ve never been informed of just how low my daughter had sunk. She paid off all the others, silenced them in horrible ways. But Farlon grew a conscious somehow, and braved her influence, and for that I’m grateful.”

  “I’m glad I could help?”

  “You did. And I can never repay you. I knew when we spoke while looking at your grandfather’s house that you were something special, Rose. I only see now how special – who else could have faced my daughter’s wrath for so long and lived to tell the tale?”

  He laughs a sad laugh, and I reach out and pat his arm.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not raising her right. I’m sorry for not seeing what she was capable of sooner. The very lifestyle I worked so hard to give her she ended up using for her own gain, and that’s exactly what I never wanted her to do.”

  Charlie looks up. I feel Lee’s arms snake around my waist.

  “Hello, Charlie,” Lee says.

  “Lee.” Charlie nods. “Your father has done me a great favor today. Send him my regards.”

  “I will.”

  “And look after Rose, will you? You’ve gotten yourself a very special girl, this time around.” Charlie winks. He turns and leaves after the police officers, his back straight and head held high. He’s a proud man, and I feel so bad. How did someone like Kiera come from someone so upright like him?

  Lee hugs me tighter, murmuring in my ear. “That’s it, then.”

  “That’s it,” I exhale. “She’s gone. For a while, at least.”

  “Can’t say I’m not happy.”

  “You liked her.”

  “Once. Once, a long, long time ago. Poor Felix. Guy has more dedication than I do, that’s for sure.”

  “And a taste for pain,” I add. “That’s all he ever got from her.”

  His hands tighten around my stomach. “Did Farlon really call Charlie in?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Huh. Never thought he’d ever do the right thing again. It’s nice, being proven wrong.”

  “He’s not so bad,” I say.

  “What did you and him talk about over there for so long?”

  “Pregnant?” Grace’s screech is so loud I flinch. She comes running over from where she was talking with Morgan, barreling straight at me with a wild look in her eyes. “PREGNANT?”

  I can feel Lee go still behind me, his hands dropping as Grace runs in and hugs me around the neck, bouncing up and down.

  “I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it, oh my god! Why didn’t you tell me, Lee?” She demands. Then she sees Lee’s face, and I see Lee’s face. It’s frozen in shock, his mouth agape. Grace clears her throat, suddenly realizing what she’s done.

  “Oh. Um. Sorry, I didn’t - ”

  “It’s okay,” I laugh. I reach up and cradle Lee’s face with my hands, gently. “Hey. You okay?”

  He snaps out of it, looking down at me with the tenuous near-terror-near-joy of someone who can’t quite believe something yet.

  “Is…is it true?”

  I laugh again, the sound watery this time as tears spring up in my eyes. He’s happy. He’s smiling. I nod wordlessly, and his smile gets so bright I’m nearly blinded. He picks me up by the waist and whirls me around, and I scream and laugh, holding tightly onto his head for support as the world blurs in a perfect circle of color and light.

  When he puts me down, he rests his head against mine and murmurs into my ear.

  “I love you, Rose Jensen. Don’t you ever fucking forget that.”

  “I never did,” I whisper back.

  Chapter Nine

  Epilogue

  I look out the window and see the red horse again.

  It’s beautiful – coppery, like the color of a brass penny in a sunset. Its mane and tail are more cinnamon-brown, and its legs and waist are so slender it’s almost breathtaking. Somehow, despite its elegant frame, it manages to tear around the pen at the speed of a cheetah on crack – doing dozens of laps, kicking up its heels and whinnying with the purest, most unbridled kind of happiness. Sugar Sparkle In the Morning. That’s her name. She’s a Thoroughbred, the kind people pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for. She’s particularly rare – her beautiful red coat has garnered a lot of interest in the southern Spain horse circle, or so Farlon’s told me.

  I look down and rub my stomach idly. It’s bulging a lot this morning, and every day it feels like I’ve outgrown another shirt. Farlon’s told me a lot in my time here. He and I usually go out in the morning to the stables, and he lets me give each horse a treat of sugar lumps and dried apples. He’s a tender, concerned grandfather – always asking if I’ve eaten enough, or bringing me something cool to drink, or making sure I stay off my feet. I couldn’t have asked for better attention or care.

  I stretch my arms and watch the bright golden leaves of the cherry trees slowly fall through the air. The Montenegro Ranch is the most beautiful place I’ve seen, besides that little town in the Alps. The ranch is all rolling hills, golden with the last dregs of late summer. The horses canter in the massive fields – males and females separated, but having fun nonetheless. Farlon’s out with the foals in the far distance, training them to walk for shows with the other stablehands.

  I turn to my bed. My room is enormous, made entirely of polished wood and gr
een-ivy patterned blankets and curtains. It’s been my home away from home for months now, but as soon as the baby is born, I’ll be going back to L.A to finish the business degree I’ve taken a break from.

  I pick up the package on my bed and read the lettering – From Grace, To Rose. I tear it open eagerly and find a magazine inside, with Grace in a bright red dress on the cover. Ferdinand landed her a cover on a Korean magazine, and she’s never looked better. I smile and flip it open to her photoshoot, and marvel at just how much prettier she’s gotten. I didn’t think it was possible. She and Jen are moving in together back in L.A, and Lee and I are taking over their old apartment. It’s a good compromise, and the thought of having that entire fancy apartment to myself is getting me all excited about things I never thought I’d be – decorating, rearranging. Lee’s been going overboard, buying a bunch of baby stuff for its room like an excited teenage girl at a Claire’s sale. I look at my bedside table, where dozens of baby care books pile high. I wish I could say those were mine, but no. Lee’s been reading them like a maniac, sharing all the important – and sometimes less-than-important – tidbits with me. He’s even been taking notes – a little gray notebook lays open on the bed, his neat handwriting scrawled across half the pages. I sigh and chuckle, shaking my head. Sometimes I think he’s more excited for the baby than I am.

  The last I heard from Grace, Kiera was charged with not only possession of illegal drugs, but also attempted manslaughter. Morgan testified on the stand against her, and though I didn’t, Grace did as well. Felix was let off with a much more minor sentence as an accessory to the fact, and he’s spending a few months in jail versus Kiera’s ten years. It’s a harsh sentence, and sometimes I can barely believe it, but with a high-profile socialite family seemingly going down the drain, the media swarmed like flies. The sheer amount of coverage on the news guaranteed that if Kiera was going away, she’d go away hard, and for a while. Part of me feels guilty for it. The other part doesn’t at all.

  But it’s not so bad. She’s not in jail, per say. Charlie’s too good of a lawyer for her to really go to jail. She’s in a psychiatric ward, instead, somewhere in northern California where celebrities go. Hopefully, she’ll get the help she needs there. That’s what I pray for anyway, every night.