“Someone who’s seen a bit more of life than he likes at times,” he said with a faint grin, bending to pick up the fallen crockery and food.
“Let me help,” she said.
“No, you rest. Leave it to me.”
*
Kaid stayed with her throughout the evening, but there was still no sign of Kusac. According to the reports first from Meral, then T’Chebbi, he had requested a study room in the guild and was still there.
At last she gave up and retired for the night, curling up in the lonely hollow at the center of the large bed. She pressed her hands against her stomach feeling for any differences, but there were none yet. No roundness, no tiny fluttering movements such as she’d felt from Kikho. Mentally she’d felt nothing either, but then Jayed had said she wouldn’t for at least another month. It seemed impossible, unreal, but her body was telling her she was pregnant even though her mind couldn’t accept it.
Their child was an impossibility, Vanna had said. So had Kusac. Jayed and his wife Kikho told her she’d been blessed by the Gods. Whatever anyone said, it was there, growing inside her. Like her, it hadn’t been consulted as to its wishes. Had they created a monster between them— something neither Terran nor Sholan— a hybrid? She shivered. Fear of what the child would be was uppermost in her mind. Shying away from the problem, she eventually retreated into an uneasy sleep.
Sometime later the door opened, rousing her briefly. Barely awake, she saw Kusac standing framed in the doorway by the light from the main room. He came in, stopping only to take some blankets from a chest at the foot of the bed before leaving again. It hardly registered in her mind before sleep claimed her again.
*
She was torn from sleep by an overwhelming sense of horror and panic surging through her. Kusac! She leaped out of bed and ran to the door. Wrenching it open, she looked wildly around the room trying to find him, fighting to stop his panic from engulfing her. She missed him at first, then running farther into the room she saw him lying in a tangle of blankets on the settee.
Although deeply asleep, he was twisting and turning restlessly, making low moaning noises.
She rushed over to him, taking hold of his hand to feel if he was feverish. At her touch he began to mutter incoherently, instinctively tightening his grip on her hand, claws pressing into her flesh. Prizing herself free, she put her hands on either side of his forehead, reaching into his mind with hers. He was locked deep into some nightmarish situation beyond her comprehension. Unable to understand it, she called to him, trying to draw him back to wakefulness.
At length he lay still and a shudder passed through him. As his eyes opened, he found himself looking up into her eyes— Sholan eyes. Linked as deeply as they were at that moment, he sensed her fears concerning the child she was carrying, and the knowledge that unlike Sholan females she couldn’t control her fertility. He absorbed the facts, filing them away for later and raised his barrier again, this time to protect her from the remnants of his nightmare.
The dream had been a jumble of memories of the time immediately before they’d become lovers when they’d both come too near to death, and what he’d experienced while trying to help Raill and Lynn. Reaching up for her wrists, he pulled her hands away from his face before pushing her aside.
“Get dressed,” he said, untangling himself from the blankets and getting to his feet.
Carrie sat there, her face taking on a stunned look. He knew he wasn’t thinking straight right now, but the nightmare had only crystallized his fears. There was only one decision he could make, but he hated the feeling that once again circumstances were pressuring him. He’d taken too many safe options of late, trying do the right thing at the right time. Not any more. For good or ill he’d made his decision and now was the time to implement it. He wasn’t waiting any longer.
He went over to the desk, switching on the comm and punching in a code. A sleepy Meral answered him.
“Meral, get my aircar round to the front entrance within five minutes,” he ordered curtly, breaking the connection. He crossed the room toward the bedroom door, stopping briefly to look back at Carrie.
“I said get dressed,” he repeated. “We’re going out.”
He was aware of her following him into the bedroom, watching him as he searched in the wardrobe. “Wear these,” he said, pulling out her rich olive-colored robe and an open over-robe of heavy black wool edged with the purple border of their guild.
Wordlessly, she took them from him and began dressing.
Pulling similar clothing out for himself, Kusac dressed hastily, then left the room, closing the door behind him. Kaid was standing in the center of the room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“Meral said you were planning to leave, Liegen,” he said.
“I need you to come with us. You’ve got about two minutes to get ready,” said Kusac, going over to his desk again. He looked up briefly at Kaid. “You’ll be pleased with tonight’s work,” he said dryly as he punched in another number.
Kaid looked at him quizzically before leaving.
*
Meral was waiting for them in the aircar when they arrived at the main entrance. Kusac handed Carrie up into the craft, jumping in behind her. Quietly, he gave directions to Meral before joining her in the back.
He could feel Carrie’s unhappiness, but he couldn’t cope with it yet. There was still too much hurt and anger inside. He’d spent the best part of the day reading Vanna’s data, then going to ask her to clarify what he couldn’t understand. After that, he’d tried to put his own feelings of fear and anger aside so he could think. It had proved virtually impossible.
Meral slowed the craft, taking it down to land in an enclosed garden lit by wildly flickering torches.
“Stay with the craft,” Kusac said curtly to Meral as he got to his feet. Turning to Carrie, he held out his hand to her.
She rose, refusing the hand.
He shrugged and took hers anyway, tightening his grip as she tried to free herself. He led her out of the craft to where a tall Sholan wrapped in a blanket waited for them.
He searched Kusac’s face before speaking. “Are you sure this is what you want to do?” he asked, letting go of the blanket to hug him.
Kusac returned the greeting. “Yes, Ghyan. I’m sorry to drag you from your bed at this time of night.”
Ghyan nodded, pulling the blanket around himself again. “I understand,” he said. He reached out to take Carrie by the hand. “One of these days I’ll get the opportunity to meet you properly,” he said, tucking her hand round his arm and turning to lead them into the building which loomed darkly behind them. He led them up the steps and through an archway into the interior of the Temple.
Kusac, walking behind with Kaid, hadn’t missed the startled look as the Brother realized where they were.
Carrie stopped suddenly. At the far end of the hall, flanked by candles set into tall holders, a massive stone statue loomed. The figure was of a seated Warrior with his weapons laid in front of him at his feet. His face was peaceful, with the attitude of one who has laid aside his cares. In front of him a brazier glowed.
“This isn’t the hall from your vision,” Ghyan said reassuringly, drawing her onward with him. “All Vartra’s temples are like this.”
The four of them walked down between the pillars, Carrie’s footsteps echoing in the silence. As they approached the statue, Kusac could see the small table to the right of the brazier. On it lay the traditional book, dagger, and bowl of incense cubes.
Ghyan stopped and turned, waiting for Kusac and Kaid. “You know where you are, don’t you?” he asked Carrie.
She nodded, looking up at the statue. “The Temple of Vartra,” she said. “I didn’t realize it was so near the guild.”
Kusac joined them. He wanted to let his barrier down, but his emotions were still too confused, too angry for her to share, especially now. “Carrie,” he said, gripping her hand tightly for a moment. “Ghyan is a telepath. He’ll need
to probe your mind for a moment. Don’t resist him.” He gave her hand to Ghyan.
He waited impatiently until his friend had finished and turned back to him, a look of utter surprise on his face. “It’s as you said,” he confirmed. “She is indeed expecting your child. In this case my duty is clear. I’ll perform the service with pleasure.”
Kusac nodded. “Kaid Tallinu,” he beckoned him forward, “will witness the lifebonding.” He heard Carrie’s gasp of shock and turned to her. “It’s what you wanted, too, isn’t it?” he demanded. “What you Challenged Rala for?”
“Yes, but…”
“Then let’s proceed. We’ve a lot to do tonight. Remember, do what I do.” He turned back to Ghyan.
“Wait, Kusac,” his friend said. “There’s a Challenge?”
“The Lifebond Challenge, yes.”
“You know this bonding won’t stop the Challenge, don’t you?”
“I know, and I also know it may be enough to make Rala cancel the Challenge.”
“I can approach Rala and ask her to cancel it,” said Ghyan. “She comes to the Temple. She may listen.”
“Would you?” asked Kusac, seeing the first ray of hope in the last few hours.
“If Carrie wishes,” said Ghyan, looking at her.
She looked at Kusac, then Ghyan, and finally at Kaid. The latter nodded. “Ask,” he said.
“Yes, please,” she said quietly.
“Do you want to go ahead with the lifebonding now?” Ghyan asked her.
Kusac suddenly found a knot of fear within him as he realized she could be the one to change her mind, not him.
Carrie hesitated, then in the stillness of her own thoughts she heard another mind, a quiet mental voice. Say yes.
“Yes,” she said, with the faintest of smiles.
Kusac realized he’d started to breathe again.
Ghyan nodded. “In that case, I’ll perform the ceremony.” Turning to Kusac, he asked, “Have you got the bracelets?”
Kusac took a package from his robe, handing it to him.
Ghyan unwrapped them, laying the bronze bracelets on the table by the book. “Given the hour, and the informality of our gathering, I’m sure we’d all prefer a short ceremony,” he said with a smile, holding out his hands to them both.
“Give him your right hand,” said Kusac, putting his in Ghyan’s right palm.
Carrie put hers in Ghyan’s left hand, palm up like Kusac’s.
“Do you both want to be made one, of one blood?” Ghyan asked them.
“Yes,” said Kusac, looking at Carrie, his ear tips flicking gently. Doubt concerning the wisdom of getting married now had vanished when he’d realized that she might have refused him.
“Yes,” she said.
Kaid took up the knife. Before she had time to react, he’d made a small cut first in her palm, then Kusac’s. Ghyan pressed their hands together, letting their mingled blood drip down into the bowl of incense.
“Then you are one,” he said, holding their palms together for a moment or two before releasing them.
His palm still smarting, Kusac picked up some of the incense and threw it into the brazier, indicating that Carrie should do the same. As she did, the coals blazed brightly, throwing up a cloud of aromatic smoke.
“As an outward sign of your lifebond, here are your bracelets. Wear them with the blessing of Vartra,” said Ghyan, picking up the bracelets and holding them out toward Kusac.
Checking them, Kusac picked one of them up and taking Carrie’s right hand in his, he slipped the bracelet on her wrist and pressed it closed until it was a snug fit.
Ghyan turned to Carrie. Hesitantly, Carrie reached for the other bracelet, looking to Kusac for confirmation.
Impassively, he nodded, holding out his hand to her.
She placed the bracelet on his wrist, trying to pinch it closed as he had done.
With a flick of his ears and a wry smile, he did it for her.
“May Vartra grant you peace and happiness,” Ghyan said, pulling his blanket back round himself again. “I won’t ask for the gift of fertility since He’s obviously given you that,” he said with a smile. “Now if you and your mate would sign the book, the legalities are over.”
Kusac stepped forward and taking up the stylus, scrawled his name with a flourish. He handed it over to Carrie.
She looked searchingly at his face, still unable to read anything of his emotions. Moving toward the table, she bent forward and added her slightly shaky signature under his.
Ghyan took the stylus from her, handing it to Kaid. “We need your signature as witness.”
“Certainly,” said Kaid as he signed the book.
“Thank you,” Kusac said to Ghyan, relief sweeping over him.
“I’m only glad that in the end I was able to help,” his friend said. “Let’s hope this is the last of your problems. I’ll talk to Rala for you. I assume your parents don’t yet know.”
“That’s what I’ve got to see to next,” said Kusac. “We must go. My thanks again.”
“Don’t leave it so long the next time you come to see me,” said Ghyan. “But I will insist on a hug from Carrie.” He stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her and laying his cheek alongside hers.
His coldness won’t last. He wanted this bonding to you more than anything. Just have faith in him. He released her, smiling.
“Remember, both of you, the God has blessed you with this child. Trust in Him and all will be well.”
“The Gods’ help always costs,” said Carrie quietly. “They give you nothing for free.”
“Good-bye,” said Kusac. “I’ll be in touch soon.”
“See that you are,” his friend said.
*
Meral took off, heading for the Valsgarth Estate this time. The gray light of dawn was touching the horizon as they landed. Lights began to go on as they got out of the aircar. Kusac led Carrie toward the front entrance, ordering the other two to stay on board.
His face was grim as he pushed the door open and strode into the center courtyard, pulling Carrie with him. The argument with his father some four days previously still rankled. Now he needed a confrontation to get it out of his system.
The night duty attendant hurried forward but was waved back by Kusac. “This doesn’t concern you. Return to your post,” he said, stopping by the fountain.
“Father!” he yelled at the top of his voice. “I want to see you now!”
His father hurried to the balcony, still trying to put his arms into the sleeves of his over-robe.
“Kusac, have you lost your wits?” he demanded angrily. “It’s the middle of the night!”
His mother joined him. “Kusac, what’s wrong?”
“I want to speak to you both,” he said, lowering his voice slightly. “Come down to the study. You, too, Taizia,” he added, seeing his sister come running.
“What’s this all about?” said his father when they were gathered in the study. “Couldn’t you have waited till morning?”
“No, I couldn’t,” said Kusac, pulling Carrie out from behind him where she was trying to hide. Her face was chalk white. Despite his block, Kusac could feel her fear and knew that his family could, too. All to the good, he thought. Let them realize what she’s suffered since she found out about the betrothal.
“You wanted me to lifebond and get legitimate heirs on my mate. Well, here she is, as of an hour ago.” He pushed her forward, holding up their arms so both their bracelets were visible. “As for heirs, she’s carrying your first grandchild now.”
He paused, enjoying the shocked silence from his father as a recompense for his refusal to cancel the marriage contract with Rala.
“Our Link has changed us to the point where we’re infertile with our own kind. The only heirs you’ll ever have from me will be Carrie’s children, too.”
Feeling Carrie’s mind begin to swirl, he grasped her around the waist with both hands. “Don’t you dare faint on me,” he growled in her ear, g
iving it a sharp nip with his teeth.
She gasped at the sudden pain and straightened up again.
“Kusac,” said his father, sitting down in the nearest chair. “This just isn’t possible.”
Kusac’s anger abruptly evaporated and he put a hand into his pocket, bringing out the cube. “Read this for yourself. All Vanna’s tests, kept secret even from us, are there. Check Carrie, you’ll see I’m not lying,” he said tiredly, throwing the cube at his father.
Konis made no effort to catch it and it fell to the floor at his feet. He shook his head. “I don’t need to check,” he said. “I believe you.”
“Have the data as a present anyway. You’ll need it. There’s going to be more of us. You’ve got a new species on your hands, Father. I hope you know what to do with it,” he said.
He looked at his mother and Taizia. “An hour, maybe two, and the Challenge would have been unnecessary. Why couldn’t you have waited?” Strangely he wasn’t angry with them, only confused as to why they had rushed everything.
His mother came forward to put an arm around Carrie. “You were so determined to collide head-on with your father and Rala that you left us little choice. You’re right, the Challenge is our responsibility,” she said, “but because of your actions you bear as much responsibility for it as we do. Carrie is the innocent one in this tangle, so why are you hurting her? This isn’t like you, Kusac.” She frowned at him, beginning to turn away.
“We can argue this later if you’re so minded. I’m taking your mate to the kitchen. She’s had a bigger shock than any of us over the last few days and right now she needs something to eat, then rest, not to mention a small dressing on her palm.” With that, she ushered Carrie out of the room.
Kusac sat down in the nearest chair, suddenly feeling drained. “That Challenge has got to be stopped, Father,” he said tiredly. “I’m getting images of it going wrong, but they’re so vague I can’t pinpoint a precise cause.”
His father stirred, bending to pick up the cube. “Precognition? A Terran ability,” he said thoughtfully, turning the cube over in his hands.
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