“I don’t care what you call it,” Kusac snapped, “I just keep feeling a sense of danger. Whatever it is, I don’t want it to happen!”
“With the genetic changes, all the reasons for your bonding to Rala are gone,” said his father. “Not just that, you’re already lifebonded,” he said dryly. “Given those two facts, I can’t see Rala’s family objecting to my officially breaking the contract. The Challenge is another thing,” he sighed. “In my position as judge, unless Rala agrees to canceling it, I can’t do anything. Only the Temple can order her to drop it since it’s an En’Shalla Challenge. I have a feeling that Rala will not cooperate.”
“Just try, that’s all I ask,” Kusac said. “There are three lives at stake now. Ghyan has said he’ll speak to her. Apparently, she’s been going to the Temple during her stay at Valsgarth.”
“In that case, he might be able to sway her. I can’t understand why Carrie didn’t tell you before now that she was pregnant,” said his father. “Or why she issued the Challenge, knowing she was putting the child at risk too.”
“Did she know?” asked Taizia. “We’ve been fairly close and she didn’t mention it to me. Mother and I would never have suggested the Challenge if we’d known. As you’ve said, there would have been no need for it.”
“I don’t understand it either,” muttered Kusac, rubbing eyes that felt like they were full of sand. “I picked up something from her about having no control over when she becomes pregnant, but I don’t know.” He shook his head and looked over at his father. “I was sure she couldn’t be mine at first, but she is.”
“An impossible pregnancy. This is where your Link with her has been leading all along. How do you feel about this child?”
“She’s ours,” Kusac said fiercely. “I want her to live.”
“You two have given us a pretty problem to sort out,” his father said with a sigh. “The Terrans will have to be told, including her father. What his reaction will be, I shudder to think.”
“He doesn’t concern us,” said Kusac. “He’s far enough away not to be our problem; he’s yours, and you’re welcome to him. We’ve got enough to do just trying to live our own life. The main problem at the moment is stopping the Challenge.”
“We can do nothing about it until morning. I suggest you go to bed and get some rest. Are your people still out in the aircar?”
Kusac nodded.
“Then tell them to turn in for what’s left of the night. They can use the same rooms they did before. Now go and collect your mate and let’s all get some sleep.”
Taizia jumped to her feet. “I’ll go and tell them,” she said, heading off.
Kusac caught his father’s thought and gave a little smile. “She’ll be all right with Meral,” he said. “He’s a good male, and at least you know she’ll be safe with a Warrior.”
Kusac collected Carrie from his mother and took her upstairs, still keeping the block up. He couldn’t face the prospect of opening their Link again until he’d come to terms with all his own conflicting emotions. What should have been a time of wonder and joy for them was being marred by the specter of the Challenge, and that still angered him.
He left her at the bedroom door, unable and unwilling to explain. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he said, closing the door behind her.
*
Taizia caught up with her mother on the stairs.
“I should have realized that she was pregnant,” said Rhyasha. “It was staring me in the face.”
“Who’d have believed it was possible?” said Taizia. “We ignored all the signals because she’s a Keissian, not a Sholan. We couldn’t have known, Mother.” She stopped, reaching out to catch hold of her.
“Their cub, what will she look like, can you tell yet? Will she be one of us or a human? The Gods grant she isn’t malformed, a grotesque creature that has no chance of survival!”
Rhyasha’s ears flicked backward in distress. This was no time to hide her feelings from her daughter.
“It’s too early to tell anything but her sex. Carrie’s not yet halfway through her pregnancy. In a week or two I’ll be able to sense their cub properly. Even though they can breed with each other, so much could go wrong because they’re from different species! Just pray your brother keeps his head if the child doesn’t survive to be carried full term, or if she has to be terminated because she’s nonviable. I can’t begin to guess how Carrie would react to either of those situations! One of us would remain clearheaded enough to make the right decisions, but Carrie?” She shook her head, ears flattening backward.
“How do humans relate to their cubs?” Rhyasha continued. “Are their males as possessive and foolish over their pregnant mates as ours? We don’t know enough about them as people!” She clenched her hands in frustration, claws pricking her palms.
“We have Carrie here with us,” said Taizia. “There will be other humans soon. We can learn! At least we know what knowledge we lack. Gods! If only I’d never suggested that damned Challenge! There was no need for it.”
“There’s no point in self-recrimination, Taizia. As you’ve just told me, there was no way we could have known she was pregnant. The trouble now is we don’t have the time to learn what we need to know. We need to know it now if we’re to help them.”
“Perhaps we’re looking into too dark a cave,” said Taizia, giving her mother a hug. “Everything may go wonderfully well for them.”
Rhyasha took a deep breath, concentrating on pulling her ears upright again. There was nothing to gain from letting herself get so agitated now. “Perhaps you’re right,” she said, forcing a smile for her daughter’s benefit. “Let’s take things as they come rather than plan for a disaster that may never happen. You go and see your Warrior,” she urged, gently pushing Taizia away. “I’m fine.”
“Mother!”
Rhyasha gave a low chuckle. “I didn’t pry,” she said. “Your interest in him hasn’t been exactly subtle.”
Chapter 17
Having informed the Protectorate of their location, Kaid initiated the securing of the perimeter of the Valsgarth Estate. No one, not even a jegget, could get into the grounds without security being aware of it. That done, he settled down on the balcony outside Kusac’s and Carrie’s suite.
Kaid knew what neither Kusac nor the rest of his family had yet realized, namely that each one of them was at risk as a potential hostage or worse. The missing dissident from the Khalossa had no scruples about using whoever he could to get close enough to Carrie or Kusac to kill them. As far as Kaid was concerned, he’d rather have them all safe under one roof.
*
Left on her own again, Carrie began to pace round the room. She felt trapped, caged by the very life she had left Keiss to escape. Though her cage was one of flesh and blood, no bars could have been stronger. With a sharp pang she envied Kusac his ability to run free as the wind across the estate. That was what she needed, to run and run until she collapsed from exhaustion, too tired to think. With an effort she pushed these thoughts and memories aside as she felt her own panic beginning to build inside her mind.
Her footsteps took her to the exterior balcony, and as she looked across the grounds to the wooded land, T’Chebbi stepped out of the shadows. No escape that way either. No matter how grand the jail, unless one wanted to be there, it was still a prison.
With a shiver, she wrapped her arms tightly across her chest and returned to the bedroom, this time noticing that a short robe had been left on the bed for her. Rhyasha’s doing.
Picking it up, she ran the silky fabric through her hands remembering Rhyasha’s reaction to Kusac’s news. Strangely, his mother had been delighted. In fact, everyone who knew had been-except for Kusac and his father who had just been shocked. No one had thought to ask her how she felt, which was just as well, because she couldn’t have answered them.
She frowned, remembering Kusac’s anger. Well, she was furious with him. Anger didn’t begin to describe how she felt, and as soon as she got
the chance, he’d find that out in no uncertain terms. Rage burned so brightly that it dimmed the uncertainty and fears, making it impossible for her to think. Tonight’s events hadn’t changed anything, Kusac’s behavior proved that. Why else would he still want to sleep apart from her?
She felt adrift, at the mercy of whichever wind happened to be blowing. The Sholans had another simile for it. Didn’t they call it being tempered on the anvil of the Gods? She wished they’d use an ordinary hammer rather than one that felt like a meat tenderizer. She didn’t know how much more bruising she could take. With a sigh, she began to undress.
*
Unable to sleep because of the onset of a throbbing headache, she lay in the darkness fretting: fretting at the heat, the flickering images that flashed through her mind, Kusac’s intractability, and the beginnings of the siren call of their Link.
*
Kusac knew she was still awake. For the last hour and a half he’d tried to sleep but without success. Her proximity was maddening him, particularly since he was the one who’d chosen to sleep apart from her in the lounge. He wanted to be with her, especially now he’d gotten used to the reality of her pregnancy. His whole biological system as a male was geared toward finding the right mate, then helping rear the cubs they made between them. Being a telepath only strengthened this need. The family— his family— was all-important.
As well as that, the physical needs of their Link were making themselves felt in ways it was nigh on impossible to ignore. Coming to a decision, he rose and went to the bedroom.
*
Hypersensitive, she heard the door opening and sat up. Kusac stood there. With sardonic humor she realized he was having trouble maintaining his barrier against her. She knew why he was here, and for now he was dependent on her.
*
With a sinuous grace he came across the room, almost stalking her because of his awareness that she was watching his every move. He stopped by the bed and sat down beside her, ears flicking sideways and back, tail gently swaying. In the semidarkness, his eyes glittered as he reached out for her.
“I need you,” he said, aware as he spoke that his voice sounded harsher than he had intended. Almost instantly he released her, shaken by the strength of the anger she was directing toward him.
“No,” she said, pulling the covers firmly round herself. “If you want to keep yourself apart, then fine, do so— but don’t expect to walk in here and make demands of me without a word of apology!”
“Carrie, you know…” he began.
“I know nothing, Kusac!” she said, interrupting him. “You’ve hardly spoken to me since we found out I was pregnant! You know damned well that nothing is reaching me because you’ve blocked your mind off. What gives you the right to assume you can walk in here and take me because of our Link? You’ve taken damned near all of me as it is. Just how much more do you want?”
He was silent for a moment, understanding for the first time that his actions could have completely alienated her. Through the remains of his barrier all he could sense was her anger, none of the gentler emotions he had come to associate with her in the past months. Sudden fear gripped him in the pit of his stomach again as he realized that his behavior in the last few days would have driven many a Sholan female away from him let alone her, a human, Clanless, and pregnant by her alien lover.
“You know what I feel for you,” he said, ears flicking backward in acute distress as he touched her bracelet with his forefinger.
“Not any more,” she countered, pulling away from him. “For all I know, Rala could have been right. Why did you marry me anyway? If it’s going to change what we feel for each other, then you can have this damned thing back!” She tugged futilely at her bracelet, unable to either open it or slip it off her wrist.
Kusac’s hand closed over hers. “Don’t,” he said quietly, raising his eyes to hers and trying not to flinch from the hurt and anger that he saw there. “Forget Rala and what she said. I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you, I should have told you about the betrothal from the first.”
“So why didn’t you?” she demanded, keeping her hand still.
“I was trying to find an honorable solution, you know that,” he said. “One that didn’t make us outcasts on Shola. If you’d only waited another day, the Challenge would have been unnecessary. As soon as it was known you carried our child, I’d have been free.”
“And just how was I supposed to know that?” She tried again to pull her hand free of his.
“How was I to realize you’d be foolish enough to issue a Challenge?” he demanded, tightening his grip on her till he felt his claws begin to extend. “Why didn’t you tell me when you suspected you were pregnant?”
“Because I thought it was impossible! Even you refused to believe Vanna at first!”
His ears flicked dismissively. “You were still willing to risk our lives on the outcome of a combat!”
“What are you really angry about?” she demanded. “The Challenge or the baby? You don’t want this child, do you?”
Kusac growled, eyes flashing angrily as he grasped her firmly by the upper arms. “Don’t even think of getting rid of her,” he snarled, shaking her till she fell backward, her weight pulling him down, too. “She’s already as precious to me as you are!”
“How dare you accuse me of that!” She struggled against him, trying to push him away. “You were the one who said she should never have been conceived, not me!”
As he tried to hold her still, Kusac felt the sudden flare of raw sensuality triggered by their physical contact. The remaining shreds of his barrier disintegrated abruptly as he felt it course through her, too, bringing them back into full rapport. The reasons for his anger suddenly dissipated as he sensed for himself the sheer terror she was still feeling over the tiny scrap of life they’d created between them. All her anger and sense of betrayal surged through his mind, leaving him in no doubt as to how badly he’d behaved. He realized now that nothing had ever mattered but her and their cub.
At the same time his body had responded instantly to the flood of sensations that had spread rapidly through them both— there was nothing subtle about the biological demands of their Link. He needed to show her that he loved her the only way he, as a male Sholan telepath, knew how.
Mentally he tried to hold back the Link’s compulsion while at the same time projecting images of their lovemaking to come— a task made doubly difficult by the fact she was still struggling against him. He transferred his grip, pinning both her hands in one of his, his superior strength more than a match for hers.
Lowering his face to hers, he began to lick round her neck and ears.
“Kusac! Don’t!” she said angrily. “This is unfair!”
He ignored her protests and continued his gentle seduction, easing the covers away from her till his hand closed gently over one breast. His mind— hers as well now— was filled with his wonder and joy over the cub that she carried and the fact that her body now truly reflected her status as a mother— feelings he knew she’d caught glimpses of before but he’d never allowed her to experience till now. Beneath him, her movements changed, slowing till she no longer tried to twist away from him.
We’ve made a cub, Carrie, he sent, his mouth seeking hers as his hand moved to touch her belly. Ours! That was all I regretted when we became Leskas, but the Gods have given us even that!
The hurt and fear that had dominated her mind began to dissolve as she experienced the shock and disbelief he’d felt at the news, and his fears for the safety of her and their child. The anger that his earlier reactions had caused began to dissipate.
You’re pleased? she sent, but no answer was necessary as he finally lost control of the compulsion and their minds synchromeshed.
*
Morning came and with it Garras’ departure. Having seen him off, Vanna headed thoughtfully to her office. She didn’t regret her commitment to him, quite the opposite in fact. She knew that what she needed now was
someone with whom she could have a dependable relationship. Just those few years older than her, Garras was that person, and he had no illusions about being the primary focus in her life. Conversely, he also knew she would never measure him against any other male.
She sighed as she opened the door to her office. Garras was right about Kusac; she should have spoken sooner, but then Mito had been in the way. Now, because she cared for Carrie as well, it was unlikely she’d ever feel easy about making an approach.
Settling herself in front of her comm, she set about contacting Chagda Point to request that they patch her through to Keiss via the Khalossa. As she waited, she couldn’t help feeling there was a certain inevitability about the way their lives were so tightly bound together.
Half an hour later, after being passed from department to department as each one claimed they couldn’t authorize the call, she finally cut the connection and contacted Alien Relations, asking for Clan Leader Aldatan. Within ten minutes of telling Rhyasha what she wanted, she had the suitably chastened head of communications on the space station calling her to tell her that the Sholan HQ on Keiss was waiting to accept her call.
Her efforts were frustrated once again. Dr. Reynolds wasn’t at Seaport. They thought he was in Valleytown but couldn’t confirm it as they had no comm link to the Terran physician. A scouter would be immediately dispatched, and they would call her back when they had the Keissian in Seaport.
With a sigh, Vanna called the medical facility’s main office, informing them of the call she was expecting and requesting that they page her when it came in. That done, she called up all the files Medical had on Sholan obstetrics. There hadn’t been much call for that branch of medicine on the Khalossa as those females on board who chose to become pregnant usually requested down-time on their home world first.
She then called up the files on Terran physiology that she and her team had compiled on board the Khalossa. It gave her some, but not all the information she wanted. She needed to speak to Jack Reynolds. In frustration, she checked the time, finding to her surprise that if she wanted second meal, she would have to leave for the mess now. Closing up her office, she headed down to the basement.
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