On Time (Persaud Girl)

by Teisha Mott

  Klao did a double take. “You know Sister Rittie?”

  “You know sister Rittie?”

  “Well, I knowof Sister Rittie!” Klao clarified. “My cousin, Andie, goes to Kingsway.”

  “Really?” Mary had not known that. “Your cousin is Adventist?”

  “Well, her husband was, so she went with him, and then converted.”

  Mary looked thoughtful. She had a million and one follow up questions, but decided not to pose them just yet. She kicked off her stilettos and put her feet up on Klao’s couch, and changed the subject back to Sister Rittie.

  “Sister Rittie was something else. She looked as if she would quail up and die if a man actually looked at her. Forget exchanging bodily fluids!”

  Klao laughed. She really liked Mary. She was sure they could be friends. Mary stayed for a while and told her more stories about Sister Rittie that Andie would never know. Sister Rittie had been quite a character. The young people in the church used to call her ‘Tippy’, because she never walked, but glided. She also kept her virginity as preserved as bugs in amber! They also laughed and talked about a whole bunch of other subjects -- from the weddings that Mary and Sheena did, to stories about Klao’s parents and brothers.

  Suddenly it was nine o’clock. Two hours had flown by without Klao even noticing.

  “Oh my gosh. I am totally dominating your evening!” Mary declared, unfolding her long legs that were tucked under her jean-clad butt.

  “No, not at all!” Klao said quickly. “I didn’t have anything important to do anyway. “I am just going to watch SVU and go to bed.”

  Mary stood and rolled her eyes. “You are just like Matt! I have never met another freak who plans their life around Law and Order!”

  Klao had just managed to forget about Matt. She began to feel sad again. “Matt likes Law and Order?”

  “The entire franchise! He can tell you every episode from beginning to end. If he had not become a Minister, he would have become a detective, or a doctor. He loves ER and Grey’s Anatomy, too -- but don’t tell him I tell you about ‘Grey’s Anatomy’. Marvin teases him all the time that real men don’t watch ‘Grey’s’!”

  Klao smiled sadly. Matt loved the same programmes she loved on TV. They had so much in common. She sighed.

  “I’m going to leave you to watch your SVU!” Mary said, heading towards the door. “You call me and let me know what Bianca says, okay?”

  “Okay!” Klao walked with her to the door.

  “And thanks again for the break,” Mary added. “Getting this job would mean the world to Sheena and me.”

  She gave Klao a quick hug before striding her supermodel stride to her car. Klao watched her drive out of the complex before going to turn on the TV. She felt so lonely now that Mary had gone. She almost thought Mary would have told Matt that she, too, watched Law and Order, and he would call her and they would watch it together, albeit by telephone. But Law and Order came and ended, and Klao went to bed with nary a word from the preacher man.

  She had been so sad all morning, but could not find the words to explain how she felt to Marlene. Klao could only hope, as she headed out of her office to join her cousins for lunch, that those few moments with them would help her feel better.

  “Do you have the June Charles file?” Mrs Reyes asked her.

  “I was going to take it with me to make some notes tonight. Do you want it?”

  “No, no. Go ahead with it,” Mrs Reyes said. “Let’s talk about it in the morning.”

  Klao waved goodbye to her boss and made her way to the parking garage. It was almost one, and she hoped there would not be too much traffic to get to Gauchos.

  ***

  “Oh my goodness, this is so perfect!” Bianca exclaimed through a mouthful of a huge banana split.

  Klao looked at her, thinking how unfair the world was. Here was Bianca – bright, beautiful doctor, engaged to a hot man, and able to enjoy a banana split without worrying about the effects the ice cream and whipped cream would have on her hips and thighs.

  “Where did you find this girl?” Samantha asked. She could empathise with Klao. She could not even look at a burger without going up a dress size. “And where was she when wedding planners were robbing me blind two years ago?”

  “She’s Matt’s sister,” Klao said, not recalling she had not mentioned anything about Matt to Samantha. She recalled the second the words were out of her mouth, and could almost anticipate Samantha’s follow up question.

  “Who’s Matt?”

  “This guy I met…” Klao began evasively, willing herself not to blush.

  “You’re seeing someone?”

  “No!”

  “This guy is clearly interested in her, but she won’t give him the time of day!” Andie said, filling her sister in. Like Bianca, she could eat whatever she wanted without worrying about becoming fat.

  “She’s been giving him more than the time of day!” Bianca piped in. “Paul Risoa busted them out on a date a couple of weeks ago.”

  Andie had not known that. She looked at Klao, wide-eyed.

  “Really?”

  Samantha shook her head. “You cannot do anything and let Paul Risoa see you!”

  “Who the hell is Paul Risoa?” Klao asked in awe. She could not believe everyone knew this man and she didn’t.

  “Some old friend of Grandpa’s,” Samantha told her. “He was at my wedding.”

  “Does he have to come to mine?” Bianca asked, reaching for her growing guest list. It was becoming like her PE charge card – never leave home without it.

  “We were talking about Klao’s guy!” Andie reminded them. She was frustrated with her sister and cousins. There was no one like them to change the subject.

  “He’s not my guy!” Klao reminded her, feeling a bit sad as she said it.

  “Not yet!” Bianca prophesied.

  “Not ever!” Klao insisted.

  “What’s wrong with him?” Samantha asked. She pulled out her BlackBerry. A message had just come in from Jeremy. She read it and frowned. “Everyone seems to know about your new guy except me. Is this what happens when you have children? You get totally left out of the loop?”

  “There’s really nothing to tell, Sam,” Klao said trying to appear nonchalant. “I just met this guy in Megamart, and we hung out for a bit. I met his sister, Mary, and she asked me to show Bianca her book. Really, I’m not interested in him…”

  “So why do you look so sad?” Samantha had a world of experience with heartbreak, so she could read her cousin like an open book.

  “I’m not sad!”

  “You areso on the brink of tear droplets right now!” Samantha disagreed. “What happened? Did he try to feel you up?”

  Klao looked at her cousin. She was so off base. She was on the brink of tear droplets, but definitely not because Matt had tried to feel her up. It was the total opposite!

  “We don’t have anything in common,” she explained. “It would never work…”

  “Jeremy and I didn’t have anything in common in the beginning and we work!” Samantha pointed out.

  “You had something in common with Jeremy!” Andie disagreed. “You both couldn’t hold your liquor and keep your clothes on! That’s how you ended up together in the first place!” She answered her BlackBerry, ignoring the glare of doom her sister gave her.

  “As I was saying…” Samantha turned her attention back to Klao. “Why don’t you have anything in common?”

  “Because he doesn’t wear Izzy jeans, and eat Häagen-Dazs ice cream!” Bianca said bitterly. “Our cousin is a Persaud snob of the highest order!”

  “That has nothing to do with it!” Klao was tired of the conversation. She really did not want to talk about Matt anymore. She did not want to break down and tell her cousins that he was the one who did not find her kissable. “It’s just that… You know how I feel about the Bible, and the Bible says that you cannot be unequally yoked, and we would be unequally yoked. It just doesn’t make any
sense to pursue something that is going nowhere.”

  “You’re unequally yoked because he’s not rich?” Samantha was having a hard time getting the information out of her cousin. Klao was usually much more forthcoming with details! That proved just how upset she was.

  “No. We’d be unequally yoked because he is a Minister.”

  “A Minister? In which government?” Bianca asked.

  “God’s government. Klao clarifed. “He’s a Minister of religion!”

  “He’s a Minister of Religion?” Bianca repeated in total shock. “A preacher, Minister?”

  Klao nodded.

  “Well, shock me speechless!” Bianca took an extra-large bite of her banana split. “He’s a little boy. How can he be a Minister?”

  “And not just a regular every day Minister,” Klao continued. “He’s a Seventh-day Adventist Minister.”

  “Who is a Seventh-day Adventist Minister?” Andie asked replacing her BlackBerry in her bag.

  “Matt!” Klao told her.

  “Megamart Matt!” Bianca added.

  Andie looked confused at first. Then a look of realisation brightened her face. Her eyes opened wide and her lips formed a perfect O. “Matt? Your guy is Matthew St. James.”

  Klao nodded.

  “Are you freaking kidding me?” Andie squealed. “Pastor Matt St. James is your Megamart guy? Oh my God!”

  “You know him, Andie?” Bianca asked.

  “Do I know him?” Andie was more excited than she had been since the day she realised she was really going to marry Nathan. “Everybody knows Pastor Matt St. James! He’s a prodigy! He is the youngest Minister of a large church in the entire Inter American Division. He is the most in demand speaker in the entire West Indies Union. He’s even a centurion, and he’s only been a senior pastor for a little over a year!”

  “What’s a centurion?” Samantha asked.

  “That’s a Minister who has baptised over one hundred people!” Andie explained. “When that guy preaches, something happens. The church moves, dude, like he has some special anointing! I’ve heard him a few times, and he totally bowled me over. And he is not even ordained yet.”

  “Why isn’t he ordained?” Klao asked.

  “Because he is not married,” Andie explained. “The Conference doesn’t ordain single Ministers, unless they have years and years of service.”

  “Well, enter Klao Persaud!” Bianca declared.

  Klao rolled her eyes.

  Andie was totally excited. “You’re going to be a preacher’s wife! Like Whitney Houston!”

  Klao did not have the energy to explain to her cousins all the reasons she would not, or could not be this particular preacher’s wife. Matt could never marry her, she knew. He was a Minister, and she was a ‘girl from the world’. The Conference did not ordain single Ministers. It was highly unlikely that they would allow one to marry outside of the faith. She had thought it through thoroughly over the past three days. The only way they could work would be if she joined the church, or if Matt left. Matt would never leave – he couldn’t. The church was where he belonged. He had a gift for speaking, and singing. She could join the church, Klao tried to rationalise. She loved God… But she was not sure about being a Seventh-day Adventist, and Matt could not be her only motivation. What if she got tired of him? She knew that there was a section in the Bible that said ‘Be not deceived – God is not mocked’ or something to that effect. She would not join a church just to be with a man, no matter how much she liked him… It was clearer than day. There could be no ‘her and Matt’. No wonder Matt had not called her all week. He must have realised it too, and was backing off.

  Andie and Samantha and Bianca were still going on about her and Matt.

  “So how did you find out he was a Minister?” Andie asked.

  “I went to church with him on Saturday…” Klao began to explain, and her cousins stared at her.

  “You went to church last Saturday?” Bianca asked. “That’s why you weren’t answering your phone?”

  “So how come when I invite you to church, you don’t come because it is ‘weird’?” Andie asked, and Klao wanted to break her two index fingers that formed the wretched air quotes. “But one man comes along and invites you and you go?”

  “I didn’t know he was taking me to church!” Klao was beginning to get a headache. She explained to her cousins the entire story – how she had ended up going to church. And before they could ask, she gave them a run-down of the entire day, including lunch, the AY cantata, and Matt’s ability to sing and play the piano. The only thing she left out was the awkward moment at her front door.

  When she was through, she looked at her cousins, who were looking at her and beaming.

  “What?”

  “Klao and Matthew sittin’ in a tree…” Bianca sang.

  “You know something, I’m outta here!” Klao grabbed her calf skin satchel.

  “Sit down!” Samantha ordered. “Don’t be a baby! Klao, he likes you, obvie! He wanted you to know him and like him before you knew he was a Minister, so you wouldn’t block your mind from him when you found out!”

  “But how can he like me if I am not in church?” Klao asked. “It’s pointless!”

  “That’s Matt’s decision to make, not yours!” Samantha said. She thought that as the eldest, she was clearly the wisest. “You should just go with the flow and enjoy the ride. Besides, God moves in mysterious ways. You’ve always wanted to go to church. Now here is your big opportunity. You have to go if you are dating the Minister!”

  “And I think you should totally date him, and marry him!” Andie added. “That way he can be ordained!”

  “There are thousands of other girls who could marry him so he can be ordained!” Klao said. “That is not a viable reason.”

  “Well, we’re not talking about thousands of other girls!” Andie pouted. “We are talking about the girl he obviously likes – you, Klao!” She jabbed Klao, who was wondering why she was the focus of this particular lunch, with her pointing finger. “I think you should marry Pastor Matt. Minister’s wives are the luckiest people. You’d be like the First Lady of the Church, like ‘Annie Camden’ in Seventh Heaven. Remember that show? Plus, when you marry a Minister, the sex is supposed to be phenomenal!”

  All three girls turned to look at her.

  “Why is sex with a Minister more phenomenal than sex with a regular man?” Samantha asked. “Where do you get that nonsense from?”

  “Church!” Andie motioned to the passing waitress for their bill. It was her turn to pay for lunch. “Last Saturday, we didn’t have a cantata for AY at Kingsway. We discussed Sabbath, and how to ‘keep it holy’, and someone raised the question on whether it was okay to have sex on Sabbath.”

  “What is the difference with having sex on the Sabbath than on a regular day?” Bianca asked. She could not understand some of the strange isms of Andie’s faith.

  “That’s just it, Bee!” Andie said. “It is supposed to be so much better than on the other days. One of the elders got up and read from a book that was written by this sex therapist, who is also a Seventh-day Adventist. The author said there is nothing more special than Sabbath sex. She said when her husband ejaculates in her, she experiences a ‘special infusion of grace’. That is just from a normal man. Can you imagine from God’s anointed, especially one as passionate as Pastor St. James?”

  “A special infusion of grace?” Samantha looked at her sister as though she was from another planet. “Someone really put that in a book?”

  “I can’t make this kinda crap up!” Andie handed the amused looking waitress her PE charge card. The waitress had overheard the last part of their conversation. “Nate and I are planning to try some Sabbath sex this weekend! We’re going to see how close we can get to that ‘special infusion of grace’!”

  “Oh good Lord!” Bianca shook her head. “Nothing traumatises me, but dude, I’m officially traumatised right now.”

  “That’s just stupid!” Sa
mantha rolled her eyes. My husband doesn’t need Sabbath or any anointing from God to fill me with a ‘special infusion of grace’. He does that any day of the week! Speaking of whom…” She answered her ringing BlackBerry. “Hello, husband!” She excused herself to take the call.

  “Matt probably wouldn’t find the time to have sex on Sabbath anyway,” Klao told Bianca and Andie. “He preaches, plays the piano, cooks, sings, runs the Wayside Inn, and all sorts of things. He has too much to do.”

  “You would be surprised how much energy men have even after a long day, if sex is involved!” Andie informed her. “Trust me – being tired is not a deterrent!”

  “Well, you know something?” Klao said, hoping to bring the conversation to an end. “All this is moot right now, because after Matt dropped me home Saturday night, I have not heard jack from him, so obviously he realises that seeing me would be a waste of time. Besides, I have a date next Saturday night.”

  “With who?” Bianca asked.

  “Ricard!” Klao said smugly. “And you said he would not be interested in me!”

  “You have a date with Ricard Shalkowski?” Andie asked. “You like him?”

  “Well, he is a nice, single guy, and he’s not a Minister!” Klao pointed out.

  “He’s also a dork of the highest order!” Andie noted. “I don’t think I’ve met a stiffer man in my whole life!”

  “Well, who says ‘stiff’ has to be a bad thing?” Klao chortled, feeling better now that she’d recalled her upcoming drink date with Ricard. If nothing else, he would help take her mind off Matt.

  “I don’t think you could expect any special infusion of grace from him!” Bianca commented nastily. “He’d be more of a missionary than Matt!”

  Klao ignored her, as Samantha came back to the table. She looked annoyed.

  “Is everything okay?” Andie asked.

  “You remember that Mergers contract we bid on a few weeks ago?” Samantha asked her. “Well, we won. And guess who is leading the project?”

  Andie’s eyes were wide. “Jeremy? Sam, this is huge! This is a fifty-million dollar merger! You have any idea what the commission on that is going to look like?”