Meows, Magic and Murder

by Madison Johns

  “It looks good on you.” When she frowned at him, he added, “I meant I’ve never dated a woman with red hair before.”

  Before he was able to say anything further, Petunia said, “We probably should get going and try to catch him before he goes off to one of their activities.”

  Petunia strutted ahead of him without another word. She strode in the door, and greeted the receptionist. “I’m here to see Alfred Patterson. I’m his granddaughter, Petunia.”

  She nodded and made a call, frowning as she looked up at Petunia, hanging up. “He doesn’t want to see you. Sorry.”

  Petunia’s hands went to her hips. “I don’t give a flying fig what he says. I’m here to see him and that’s just what I’m doing.”

  “You might want to open the door,” Noah said. “There’s no reasoning with her. Do you have any idea what it took me to get her here?”

  “I’m just doing my job and he says that he doesn’t want to see her.”

  “He has Alzheimer’s. He probably doesn’t even remember that he has a granddaughter. Please, let me see him,” Petunia implored the woman.

  “Sorry,” was all she said.

  Petunia put her fingers to her forehead.

  “Look what you did. Do you know this one is a witch? She’s probably conjuring up a spell now.”

  Petunia gave Noah the eye, and said, “Let me through that door before I turn you into a toad,” she told the receptionist, as a plant crashed to the floor, breaking on impact.

  The woman reached a shaking hand out and pushed the buzzer. “I heard all about you Pattersons, but I didn’t believe it until now.”

  Petunia didn’t dignify that with a response, strutting through the door. She stopped at a nurses’ station, asking one of them where Alfred Patterson’s room was. The woman pointed a boney finger over to a table with four men playing cards.

  Petunia made way for the table, smiling at her grandfather. His eyes lit up for a moment before he recovered and asked, “Who are you?”

  “You fool some people some of the time, but you’ll never fool me,” Petunia said as she tapped her foot on the floor.

  “Lucky enough, I have a few free minutes. Follow me to my room,” he said.

  Petunia and Noah followed her grandfather to his room and he ordered the other man, “Out. I need privacy, man.”

  “Fine, but only because I love redheads.” He winked at Petunia.

  “Lucky me,” she said as the man left.

  Her grandfather didn’t look quite like she remembered him. He was completely bald, but his blue eyes shone brightly with recognition.

  “This is Noah. He’s running for sheriff soon in Lake Forest.”

  “Can he be trusted?”

  “Yes, he’s been helping me out with my recent legal troubles and that’s why I’m here.”

  “What do I have to do with your legal troubles?”

  “You don’t, but I’m under investigation by Sheriff Pinkerton. For the disappearance of a man, and murder, I think. There’s a Knitting Needle Killer on the loose.”

  Her grandfather belly-laughed and fell back on his bed. “Knitting Needle Killer. That’s the best they could come up with? Pinkerton is losing his edge.”

  “Well, he seems to see me as the killing type.”

  “Well, you did date the missing man and your neighbor Helen who, as it happens, bears the same last name as you,” Noah said.

  Her grandfather’s face paled, but he didn’t say a thing. The wrinkles in his brow gathered and Petunia just knew that he had reacted to Helen’s name.

  Petunia sat on the other bed and faced her grandfather. “Is Helen Patterson some relation to us?”

  “Why in tarnation would you think that?”

  “I was led to believe that she came to town expecting to get at Aunt Maxine’s money if she died, claiming that she was related.” When her grandfather’s phone made a popping sound like he had just gotten a text, she waited until he read it and then looked up.

  Her grandfather rubbed his brow. “I guess it doesn’t matter now if she was or wasn’t, since she’s dead.”

  “I guess not, but please tell me. It might help me solve her murder case.”

  “So Pinkerton’s arrested you already?”

  “No, but I know he suspects me for the reasons I already told you.”

  “Have your boyfriend help you out. I don’t have time for this right now. I’m in deep cover.”

  “Don’t give me that. I demand answers, Grandfather.” When his eyes narrowed slightly, Petunia pleaded with him. “Please, I need to know.”

  “Fine. Helen was Aunt Maxine’s granddaughter, or so Helen claimed.”

  “But she doesn’t have any children.”

  “She had a baby around 1950. Back then, it was unheard of being a single mother. She was sent to a home for unwed mothers and came home after she had the baby. It was my assumption that she’d given the baby up for adoption.”

  Petunia was shocked. “I can’t believe she never told me about that.”

  “Your aunt isn’t the person you think she is.”

  “She didn’t ever come back home after that, did she?”

  “Nope, our parents washed their hands of Maxine on account of her getting pregnant and making the entire family look so bad.” He cleared this throat when Petunia gave him a look. “Like I said, in those days, and a small town at that, people could be mighty judgmental.”

  “So that’s why she lived with Anastasia Cuza?”

  “Yes, the old witch took her in and that’s all I want to say about your aunt,” he snapped.

  “What is the bad blood between the two of you?”

  “Aunt Maxine might just act fine, even lead you to believe that she’s not a witch, but I know better. I haven’t spoken to her after what she done.”

  “Please, tell me what she did.”

  “Ask her yourself. I don’t have time to say anything else. I’m in deep cover as I said before.”

  “Cover for what? Investigating the ingredients in your meals?”

  “Actually, I used to be CIA, Little Miss Smarty Pants.”

  “Yes, like thirty years ago. Pretending to have Alzheimer’s has to be a crime somewhere.”

  “It’s the only way they’d allow me to stay here. You don’t expect me to go live with your Aunt Maxine, do you? Who knows what she’d turn me into.”

  “Oh, please,” Petunia said as she stood. “I’ve never known Aunt Maxine to ever practice witchcraft. Sure, she has a potion book, but that’s the all of it.” She wrung her hands together. “How do you really know that Helen was Aunt Maxine’s granddaughter?”

  “Because she came to see me. It’s not a mystery I’m here, you know. Plenty of people in town know.”

  “What did she want?” Noah asked.

  “That’s none of your business unless you plan on marrying my granddaughter here. Otherwise, you’re just an outsider. One I’m not sure isn’t this Knitting Needle Killer.”

  Noah laughed, and Petunia quickly added, “Noah has no intention of marrying me, he’s—”

  “A concerned neighbor, for now. Helen’s body was found in my backyard.”

  “Killer then, are you?”

  “No, sir. I’m just trying to help out Petunia.”

  “Even if she looks good for the murder?”

  “She doesn’t strike me as the murdering type. Look, we came all the way here on my motorcycle and that took some doing. You know this woman actually believes there’s a curse on you family and that if she drives, she’ll die in a car accident.”

  Alfred frowned. “I know all about that curse, and I must admit that our family has had a strike of bad luck.” He sighed. “Look, Petunia, Helen was here, all right, but she was more concerned about you. She asked me all sorts of questions about you. I thought she had planned to meet up with you at some point.”

  “Well, that’s not what happened. The one time I met her didn’t go well at all. It was quite apparent that she didn�
�t like me. Then before I knew it, she began dating the same man I was.”

  “I see. Well, I guess it doesn’t matter what I told her, then.”

  “What did you tell her, exactly?”

  “Just that you and your aunt were quite close. Now that I think about it, she did react strangely when I told her, like it bothered her for some reason.”

  “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter now if she’s dead.” Petunia frowned when Noah gave her a sharp look. “I mean, unless there’s something else going on here that relates to Aunt Maxine and me.”

  “That might depend on who else might be involved here,” Noah said. “Of course, unless we find another solid lead, none of this matters.”

  Petunia hugged her grandfather and told him to be safe.

  “Why you worrying about me?”

  “If someone has any interest in Aunt Maxine’s fortune and something happens to all of us, someone might just stand to inherit her fortune since we’re the last living relatives.”

  “I can’t image anyone going to that extreme, can you?”

  “Sounds far-fetched, but people do strange things for money, sometimes.”

  “Did Helen mention her mother at all?” Noah asked.

  “No, she didn’t, and I never thought to ask her. I didn’t tell her much about you, Petunia, since I haven’t seen you in some years. It’s good to see you, dear, but I can’t help but wonder how deep you’re in with your aunt now. Whatever you do, don’t dabble with that magic in your aunt’s book. There’s no telling what might happen.”

  Petunia gave her grandfather a tight hug until he gasped for air and they left. She felt bad as they left for not coming to see her grandfather sooner. Had he really fallen off the deep end? It was unnerving for her to hear that Helen came all the way here asking questions about her. Were they all safe with Helen dead now, and was she next on the list of potential victims?

  When they were back outside, Noah asked, “Are you okay?”

  “Actually, I’m confused and I plan to ask Aunt Maxine some hard questions.”

  Noah hopped on the motorcycle and Petunia put her helmet on before she joined him on the bike. All the way home, Petunia wondered if there was a connection between the other victims of the killer—besides her that was, since she didn’t care for any of them.

  Noah put the bike into gear and they were off. She held tightly to Noah and felt so sleepy, suddenly, but concentrated on keeping a wake.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  After Noah dropped her off, she headed into the house, her mind aching with the bellowing Pansy was doing the minute she walked inside. “Where have you been all this time? Buying ingredients for the potion you’re making to turn me back, I hope.”

  Petunia sank into her chair. “Leave me alone. I have a headache.”

  Pansy paced. “Well, get over it, Red. I don’t have all day.”

  “Listen, Pansy. I said I’d give it another go, but I’ll have to head over to Aunt Maxine’s and research her potion book. Something happened out of the ordinary with that love potion and I need to figure out if I can find a way to turn you back. But until then, please quite griping so.”

  “Fine, I’ll quit bugging you about it, but I’m coming over to your aunt’s house. I’ve licked myself to death today waiting for you to come home.”

  Petunia got up, popped a frozen dinner in the microwave and waited until it dinged that it was done. She then carried it to the table with her cats looking on as she ate. Petunia could almost read their minds. They wanted to eat and now. After she finished eating, Petunia went to the refrigerator and pulled out a can of cat food and filled the four dishes that were lined up.

  She then sleepily went to her room, shutting the door behind her. When she was finally in bed, Petunia buried her head in her pillow. It wasn’t long afterward until she fell deeply asleep.

  * * *

  “Wake up, sleepyhead,” Aunt Maxine said from her doorway.

  Petunia sat up. “H-How did you get in?”

  “Your door wasn’t locked, for one. That’s dangerous since there’s a killer running loose, you know.” Aunt Maxine sank into a chair near the bed. “I heard you went to see your grandfather.”

  Petunia sat up and rubbed her eyes. “How did you know?”

  “He called me. He seems to be worried about you and that might just be right, if he called me. In case he didn’t tell you, I’m not his favorite person.”

  “Why is that, exactly?”

  “Why don’t you get up? I’ll put a pot of coffee on.”

  “What time is it?”

  “Eight in the morning. After Alfred called, I knew I should come right over.”

  Petunia made her way into the bathroom and showered, joining her aunt in the dining room after she was dressed. Aunt Maxine was feeding Gem a piece of toast and she was eating it, too. How strange, thought Petunia.

  “Why are you feeding Gem?”

  “Because she’s hungry.”

  Petunia’s body felt stiff. “She’s always hungry.”

  “I’m surprised you can’t hear your cats talk. You’re just starting to tap into your powers.”

  “I’m not a witch,” Petunia exclaimed. “I’m just a normal girl who happened to turn a man into a cat by mistake. Besides, cats can’t talk.”

  “That’s a matter of some dispute.”

  Petunia shook her head. “I was sure it was a love potion when I wrote down the ingredient list.”

  “Are you really sure that’s what you meant to do? I just can’t imagine that you didn’t want to change him a little more, like his attitude.”

  Petunia bit down on her pinky finger for a moment as she thought about it. “Well, perhaps a little.”

  Pansy began pacing now. “What is the old coot trying to say now? There’s not a thing wrong with my attitude.”

  Petunia cocked a brow upward. “And you see nothing wrong with how you behaved when you were in human form?”

  “Not in the least. I’m—I mean, I was just your typical, red-blooded man. Real men like to serial date. It’s how we’re made. I don’t know any man who would decide to date you exclusively, Petunia.”

  “Whatever do you mean? What’s wrong with me?” Petunia demanded as she stomped a foot.

  “Besides that you’re a cat lady, you mean?”

  “There’s nothing wrong with owning a pet or two.”

  “You have more than that. I saw you put food outside just the other day.”

  “That’s for the strays, or to keep the other cats in town from murdering you, Pansy. I only own three cats, not including you.”

  “And about that—how many of them are real cats? For all I know, you turn everyone you don’t like into a feline.”

  “Perhaps that’s your problem and why you’re now a cat. Your attitude stinks to high heaven.”

  “I never planned to hurt you, I was just trying to get—”

  “That’s enough,” Petunia shouted. “You don’t need to be so darned crude and you didn’t have to date my neighbor, Helen, who might just be related to me, after all, according to Grandfather.”

  Out of the blue, Aunt Maxine brought Petunia out of her communicating with Pansy as she said, “What did your grandfather tell you, now? You should know he’s not that swift in the noggin.”

  “So you say. He made perfect sense, but what I wonder about is why you don’t get along with Grandfather. He’s your brother.”

  “Blood might qualify you as kin, but that doesn’t make it so when they never wanted to have anything to do with you just because of a little slip-up on my part.”

  “What slip-up are you talking about here? Your granddaughter, Helen?”

  Aunt Maxine picked up a napkin and daintily pressed it against her lips. “I’m not sure what you mean, Petunia.”

  Ding dong, the doorbell rang before Petunia could say anything further. She went to the door and was quite surprised to see Sheriff Pinkerton on the other side. “We have a little problem, Petunia.
I need you down to the station to answer more questions.”

  Petunia’s mind raced. “I don’t see why? I already told you everything I know.”

  Aunt Maxine asked from behind Petunia, “What does he want?”

  She whirled and said, “He wants me to come down to the police station.”

  “Now, Pinkerton. I don’t appreciate you bothering my niece with your accusations. Go along and investigate elsewhere.”

  “I have and it leads straight back here, just like it began.”

  Petunia didn’t know what he was referring to. She just hoped that she wouldn’t really have to go to the police station. She still had to see how Lucy was doing today.

  “I would, but I’m quite busy, you see, and I-I—”

  “Look, you either come down there on your own steam, or I’ll find something to charge you with, like conning residents out of their hard-earned money for your potions. I just spoke to a few people who claim you’ve been hocking your potions on Craigslist.”

  “I have not done that, exactly, but it’s not against the law to sell something on Craigslist or EBay that I know of.”

  “Not even when it results in men losing all of their hair? That sound pretty serious to me, and you don’t even have a business license.”

  How on earth did the sheriff find out about that?

  “If that’s all you have on my niece, I think you had better find something more than that to haul her in.”

  “Like a murder charge perhaps?”

  “The sheriff is right. I should go down to the station. I’m not afraid of a few questions, especially when I’m innocent of Helen’s murder.”

  Aunt Maxine pulled Petunia away from the door and whispered, “Are you sure that you want to do that, Petunia? I wouldn’t trust that sheriff from trying to pin a murder charge on you while you’re there.”

  “I know, but I should act like I’m trying to cooperate, at least. Otherwise, it will make me look even more guilty.”

  “So, what’s it going to be?” Sheriff Pinkerton asked.

  Petunia stepped out onto the porch. “I’ll go along with you. I have nothing to hide.”

  Sheriff Pinkerton nodded and led the way to his squad car. Petunia saw Noah standing outside with his dog, Melvin, and all she could do was shrug. The sheriff opened the back door and she climbed in. She looked over to her aunt now, and Pansy was pacing furiously back and forth on the porch. She knew that he must be very worried, since if she wasn’t able to come home, he’d never get a chance at becoming human—if that was at all possible.