The Substitute (The Bros Series Book 1)

by Xavier Neal

  Quietly, I begin, “Couple of months before graduation, I landed an interview with McCormick and McCordick. It happened the week of my birthday. The interview was to take place the following Monday and I thought celebrating it fit in nicely with my birthday. We were throwing this badass party. The biggest we had ever thrown yet. It was going to be one of our lasts, so we wanted to make it count. We went crazy. Rented a dunk tank and filled it with beer. Keg stand contests for huge cash prizes. Pax apparently hired strippers as a birthday gift….”

  She leans forward onto her arms. “So, what happened?”

  “I don’t know,” I confess, vocal chords concaving. After a long deep breath, I state, “I don’t remember. I remember having congratulations shots before the party started and waking up in the hospital a few days later.”

  Her head tilts in confusion.

  “I got severe alcohol poisoning. At some point during the party, I passed out, woke up and returned to drinking. When I passed out the second time, I started choking on my own vomit. Not really sure how I’m still alive other than a sheer miracle. I should’ve died at that party. I should’ve died in the ambulance. Even the doctor, when he came in to explain why I was there barely could.”

  A hand cups her mouth in shock.

  I attempt to swallow the expanding knot in my throat. “My stomach had to be pumped. I couldn’t breathe on my own. I was unconscious for four days. I missed my interview because I was stupid and careless and nearly killed myself.” Another wave of self-loathing washes over me. “I did shit that night, I will never remember. And not just great things like finally kicking Wyatt’s ass at quarters, but beating the shit out of some Freshman who ‘looked at me the wrong way’ and sleeping with some chick, who ended up pregnant.”

  Her jaw drops. “You’re….You’re….”

  “No.” I slowly shake my head. “She got an abortion and told me after the fact. I’m not sure I had the right to have an opinion since I couldn’t even remember her name.” Shame bathes me again. “After that incident, I changed my entire life. I quit drinking, completely. It wasn’t until last year I even considered picking up alcohol again. I changed the access to my trust fund to punish me if I tried to take more money out before I turned 30. Graduated and started taking high paying tutoring jobs and substitute gigs. I gave up pursuing my passion, partially in fear it would lead me back to living like that and partially as punishment for fucking up as bad as I had. When I left the hospital, I swore I wouldn’t let my life get that out of control again. That I would show restraint. That I would think shit through and be more responsible. And up until I started dating you, it was an easy way to live…”

  She lifts her eyebrows. “What did I do?”

  “Brought back to life what I was trying to keep buried. Help me reconnect with a part of myself I was still hiding from…Being with you….watching you create your own future covered in your passion makes me rethink about going after my own. Makes me reevaluate the differences between living and being alive. Between dealing with a second shot at life and taking it.”

  Ainsley slides off the bar stool and comes straight to me. Her fingers link with mine at the same time she says, “You gave us a chance, why not give your career in film another one too?”

  I give her hand a squeeze. “Not sure I’m ready to take that risk yet, Kid.”

  She lifts to her toes to plant a soft, short kiss on my lips. “Well whenever you’re ready, I’m here for you, just like I know you’re here for me.”

  Thoughtlessly, I mumble, “How the hell did I get this lucky?”

  Her body brushes against mine instantly arousing the temptation to push her against the counter and fuck her until she forgets what I’ve done. “Wanna get a different kind of lucky?”

  My cock answers on my behalf, but the oven begins to ding, indicating our bread is done. Before I can get too carried away, I break us apart and tease, “You’re just trying to get out of doing your homework.”

  Ainsley lightly laughs. “Maybe a little of that….”

  I grab the oven mitt and move over to pull out the bread. Once it’s resting on the stove to cool down, I begin arranging the pasta dinner I cooked. She takes it upon herself to help and we work out a system that speeds up the process. After she relocates her homework to the coffee table, we arrange ourselves at the bar, and begin to eat.

  She blows on the steaming bite of chicken parmesan before she suggests, “Maybe we should get a kitchen table?”

  “Why? You hate the bar?”

  “Of course not. Just thought maybe it would be fun to have dinner at one like a normal couple…or at the very least, have a new piece of furniture to fuck on.”

  Her choice of words causes me to groan behind my stuffed mouth. She does that shit on purpose. Waits until I can’t retort then says something delicious. But on topic, I see her point. Maybe a table to eat at would be a good idea and she could keep doing her homework at the bar. Maybe we could have my bros over for a meal and there be enough space for everyone to eat. No. It’d still be a bit cramped. Hm. Maybe we should get a table and a bigger place…

  I push away the premature thoughts. “Would you rather I buy us a table for my birthday or a new bed?”

  “Bed.”

  The quick reply causes me to laugh.

  “Can I help pick it out?”

  With a casual shrug, I answer, “I don’t see why not. You’ll be sleeping in it as much as I will.”

  Her smile ignites my own.

  She’s gotta graduate first. As soon as she graduates, fuck that, as soon as I’m no longer her teacher, I’ll move her in completely. Or…we’ll find a place together. We can wait a couple months…It won’t kill us.

  “What are we doing to celebrate your birthday?” Ainsley asks between bites of her salad. “Something huge? You’re gonna be 30!”

  I grunt. “Yeah. Don’t remind me.”

  “Come on.” Her hand lands on my thigh. “30s the new 20, so you have nothing to worry about.”

  “By that definition you would be 8 and I would be a pedophile.”

  She gags.

  “Exactly.” We exchange a small chuckle. “Pax has been hounding me to do something to really celebrate my birthday. We haven’t done anything huge since ‘the incident’. Most years Wyatt cooks something and we watch Terminator 2.”

  “Because it is significantly more kickass than 1.”

  I smirk, lean forward, and plant a quick kiss on her red sauce covered lips. “Never wonder why I love you.”

  Ainsley giggles and gives me another peck.

  When she leans away, I inform, “I was thinking maybe renting a beach condo for a couple days? Not one on the coast closest to us, but the next state over. Little further away from where most of your peers will be vacationing. My birthday is the Friday during Spring Break, so I was thinking we could go away Thursday through Saturday. Come home and rest Sunday.” I have another forkful of lettuce and add, “I really would like to spend time with you in public without having to worry about who might be watching. Besides, I think finally having you meet my bros will shut them up from all the complaining they’ve been doing about me keeping you my dirty little secret.”

  She swallows the contents of her mouth. “I like the dirty part.”

  I roll my eyes.

  “A few days at the beach sounds amazing, but I don’t know that I can afford that.”

  “Don’t worry about money.” My insistence causes her to frown. “Seriously. I’d break the bank to let us walk around like a normal couple for a few days.”

  Ainsley tries to give me a sweet smile. “And what do I tell my mom?”

  “The truth.” Before she can even attempt an argument, I say, “You’re in an adult relationship. Act like it. There’s no reason to hide. Be honest with her. Tell her you’re going away with your boyfriend for a few days. You’ll be back in time for class on Monday. I’m sure she can handle doing her own fucking laundr
y for two days.”

  She gives me a sarcastic glance.

  “I’m serious, Ainsley. She already treats you like an adult. You might as well enjoy the perks of being one.”

  “And when she threatens to kick me out if I go?”

  “I will be waiting in the wings with packing tape and empty boxes.”

  “And a sharpie to properly label everything?”

  “Exactly.”

  We share a little laugh and she gives my leg a swat. “Okay, but in all seriousness...”

  “I was being serious, Ainsley. If she kicks you out, you’ll move in with me.”

  The two of us exchange a long, silent sweet stare.

  As much as I want her to live here, her to stand up to her piece of shit mother, her to pick us over everything else, I’m not going to push her harder than she can handle. She may have resurrected the impatient dick I used to be, but she hasn’t completely killed the logical one I am still dragging around.

  “Okay,” she almost whispers. “Let’s go on vacation.”

  Ainsley

  Sloane watches me pack my last minute travel items into the suitcase Nate let me borrow for our trip. “I can’t believe you’re actually going away together.”

  “Well it’s not like it’s just us,” I counter, zipping my favorite hairbrush away in the pocket. “We’re going away with his best friends. They’re basically like his brothers.”

  “They hot?”

  Her question instantly makes me giggle. Turning around to face her, I rest my back against my dresser. “Honestly, have no idea. Never met them before.”

  “What do you mean you’ve never met them?”

  I shrug. “I’ve only seen one, I think, the night Nate and I hooked up, but I don’t really remember his face. He usually hangs out with them while I’m working or with you. Our time alone together is already a struggle, so he hates having to share it, you know?”

  And I totally get it. We don’t have the luxury of mingling together in public for long periods of time or making our friends all come to our place for dinner or something. Though, someday I look forward to that…For now, we have to work with what we’re given and that time is precious. Plus, it’s hard to screw like crazy when other people are around.

  Sloane hums and crosses her legs. “And you’re not the least bit creeped out by the fact he’s turning thirty?”

  I shake my head. “Why would I be?”

  “Because he’s turning thirty!” She over exaggerates with hand motions. “Like thirty. Like get married, have a few kids, settle down because my youth is officially over, thirty.”

  Another light laugh escapes. “That’s not what thirty means.”

  “It is totally what thirty means. You watch movies! You know this as well as I do! Aren’t you worried he’s going to want to knock you up and turn you into his little housewife or something?”

  Worried? No. Secretly hopeful? Yes. Which is nuts, but I can’t help it. I want to be the mother of his kids someday. I want us to have a house and a family and a long life together. Maybe not this very second, but when I graduate college? Definitely. Maybe I’ll look for a job that would allow me work from home to accommodate getting pregnant. I know thinking about it is totally unhealthy and unnecessary, but it’s what my day dreams have been made of lately. That and how amazing it would be if I could just move in with Nate now instead of later.

  I clear away the runaway train of thought with a quick shake of the head. “No. Nate’s not like that. He wants for me what I want for me. He wants me to go to college and follow my passion. He’s not looking to ‘settle down’ like that yet.”

  Sloane remains unconvinced by the expression on her face, however, she surrenders her pursuit to continue the argument. “When do you get back?”

  “Early Sunday morning. He wants us back home in time to rest, relax, and make sure we’re caught up on everything before we go back on Monday.”

  “Did you just say home in reference to his apartment?”

  The slip didn’t even register.

  “You don’t think this is all….a little fast? Vacations and keys to his place and calling it home?”

  “Not really,” I casually retort. “That’s what it feels like.”

  Which is the complete opposite of how this place feels. I may sleep in this room, but this house hasn’t felt like my home since my dad died. I love how Nate’s apartment has become my place as much as his. We have a new bed. I keep lots of my clothes there despite the fact I spend an outrageous amount of time naked. I’ve got a makeup corner on my bedside table. Plus, there are little touches of me sprinkled around like forgotten hair ties and the pink pens I prefer to take my notes with. He keeps the fridge filled with my preference in milk and orange juice, keeps roses in a vase at the bar where I do my homework, and he doesn’t mind washing my laundry with his or when I help tidy up by vacuuming the floors. Anytime I walk in, it feels like I belong there. Like I’ve always belonged there. Like I’m….home.

  “I know how it looks, Sloane, but I swear I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. He feels like my soul mate.”

  “What is this, Shakespeare?” She gags and groans. “Ugh. I need pancakes before listening to any more proclamations of love.”

  “Not exactly pancakes, but how about a caramel macchiato with a double shot of expresso?” Nate offers, strolling into my bedroom.

  I’m not the only one with a key to their significant other’s place….It happened probably a week or so after he gave me mine. Nate doesn’t have much use for his since we spend almost all of our time together at his apartment, but I can tell he appreciates the gesture. I think it makes him feel better to know he has access to check on my safety under my mother’s rule any time he sees fit. She doesn’t know though. She barely remembers I have a boyfriend.

  Sloane flies off the bed his direction. “Oh….The patron saint of coffee must be pleased with me this morning.”

  “Must be.” He chuckles as she takes it. After she has a small sip he adds, “Thanks again for covering for us. Hoping it won’t be too much of a hassle.”

  She smiles kindly. “There’s no reason it should. Other than me the only person who would wonder where she is would be Scott and I’ve totally got that handled.”

  Doubt he’ll ask more than once since his main goal for spring break is to spend time with Sloane alone. He mentioned something on the bus last week about hoping to ask her to prom early and ruining her feelings for A.J. completely. It was cute and somewhat sad to see him so desperate for the one person he loves. Besides Sloane and Scott, no one else really cared about what my plans were. Josh invited me to go to the beach with him and his friends, but I lied about having to work. Sloane backed my story flawlessly. I did tell my mother the truth like Nate insisted and it didn’t go as shitty as I imagined it would, but then again she was coming down off a high, so where her daughter would be spending a few days didn’t matter as much as remembering where she hid her stash.

  I open my mouth to ask the obvious question when Nate answers, “I’ve got your mocha coffee with almond milk and whip cream waiting for you in the SUV.”

  A grin crawls onto my face. “Thank you.”

  Nate smirks, slips a brief kiss onto my lips, and lifts my suitcase.

  His word choice catches my curiosity as I grab my purse. “Wait. SUV? Did you rent a vehicle?”

  “Nah. We’re riding with Holden.”

  “Is this Holden person single?” Sloane interrupts with a devilish grin.

  My boyfriend lightly chuckles. “He is.”

  Her excitement emerges.

  “With two kids.”

  Immediately it disappears and she fakes a shudder. “Pass.”

  “Are his kids coming?” I ask.

  “No. They’re staying with their grandparents.”

  I nod my understanding. “Can we give Sloane a ride home? It’s just around the corner.”

  “
Of course,” he answers before moving towards the door of my bedroom. “We should get going.”

  The three of us head outside to where the sun has barely risen. Nate opens the back-passenger door and helps the two of us inside.

  The second we’re settled the driver turns around and greets us. “Morning.”

  “Morning,” we sing in unison.

  “I’m Holden.”

  At the same time, we let our attention wander over his features. While Nate looks younger than he is, Holden appears to be right on par with his age. His brown hair is short and neatly groomed. His green eyes have hints of sparkles with some sadness too. The lower portions of his bulging arms that are not being blocked by his t-shirt are covered in colorful, intricate tattoos. It makes me wonder if the top portion is as well.