The Substitute (The Bros Series Book 1)

by Xavier Neal

  Josh holds the door open for me at the same time I ask, “Why are they all giving you that look?”

  “Because they know how willing I was to give my left nut just to make this happen.”

  There’s curiosity in my voice. “What happen?”

  “Alone time with you.”

  Before I have a chance to grill him further, my cell phone vibrates again, stealing my attention.

  At the counter, he offers, “Do you want a milkshake? Any kind. It’s on me.”

  The words barely register as I read the message.

  Teach: What the fuck Ainsley? Why are you at Mimi’s with him?

  An uncomfortable lump clogs my throat.

  Is he watching me? Has he been stalking my moves to see if I’m lying?

  “Ains?”

  “No, thank you,” I barely mutter while my fingers type hastily.

  Me: How the hell do you know that?

  “Burger?” Josh’s voice cuts through again. “Fries? They make kick ass curly fries.”

  “No, thank you,” I repeat politely.

  Teach: Was it supposed to be a fucking secret?

  My poor choice in response causes me to cringe.

  Okay. Maybe I could’ve handled that better.

  Me: No. Of course not! It wasn’t even planned. He asked could he stop on the ride home. Just curious. How did you know?

  Teach: Because it popped up on Facebook.

  Slowly, I lift my attention to Josh who is harmlessly flirting with the girl behind the counter. From the dreamy eyed look on her face, she’s an underclassman with an oversized crush. If it were up to me, we would trade places. I would much rather shovel ice cream than be fawned over by an NFL player in the making.

  My phone vibrates again without giving me a chance to answer the previous message.

  Teach: You said there was nothing going on between you. That looks like a fucking date.

  Me: It’s not.

  Teach: Call me the minute you get home.

  His lack of trust rubs me the wrong way.

  Why do I suddenly feel like I’m a child who took the last cookie after swearing she wouldn’t? Why do I get the feeling that no matter what I say or no matter what I try to do to prove to him Josh is nothing more than a classmate with a crush on the wrong girl, he isn’t going to believe me? Why doesn’t he trust me? Why can’t he trust me? Why won’t he trust me? Wait. Is it me he doesn’t trust or himself?

  Thankfully, his treat is made in a timely fashion and we’re headed towards my house. Josh fills the time between directions with frivolous ramblings about music and sports commentary I couldn’t care less about.

  It isn’t until he pulls up to the curb that the conversation even really needs to include me. He puts down his milkshake and drops his hand on my arm to stop me from leaving. “I wanna ask you something.”

  I bite my tongue to stop from snapping. “Yeah?”

  “It’s about prom.”

  “I-”

  “Do you have a date?”

  “No, but-”

  “Then will you go with me?”

  The hope in his voice catches me off guard. For a minute I simply stare at the anomaly. He could have basically any girl in the entire school and it’s me whose door he won’t stop knocking on. I need him to stop. I need him to stop before he finds out what’s on the other side.

  “I can’t,” I sigh, already exhausted from the drama surrounding him. “I have a boyfriend.”

  Like I suspected, intrigue begins to swirl around his blue eyes.

  They’re not the shade of blue I could spend forever looking into. They’re not even a shade I want to spend time looking into.

  “Oh,” Josh finally manages to say. “He go to the academy?”

  “No. He’s a freshman at Ashwin,” I lie. Selling the dream I’m glad never came true because I love Nate more than I probably ever could the fantasy boyfriend I created, I add, “We met while I was working one night.”

  “At the restaurant you won’t tell me you work for.”

  “Right.”

  He nods slowly. “Why didn’t you mention him before?”

  “Because it’s still new.”

  “How new?”

  “Spring Break.”

  His eyes try not to narrow as he considers how he lost his opportunity by being out of town.

  “We’ve been trying to keep things…quiet.”

  “Because you’re still in high school and he’s embarrassed?”

  “He’s not embarrassed.”

  “Maybe not to your face,” Josh coldly retorts. Before I can get another word in, he surrenders a hand. “You’ve got a boyfriend. I get that.”

  Suspicious, I wait for a follow up. “But?”

  “But that doesn’t mean I have to stop trying.”

  It means he should. He really really should.

  I offer him a consolation smile. “Thanks for the ride home, Josh.”

  “Anytime.” He offers me one more smile, this one cloaked in something dark and depraved. “I’ll text you later…”

  With a slight wave, I begin towards to the front door, surprised when my phone vibrates again.

  Teach: You’re seriously not fucking home yet? The drive isn’t THAT long.

  I unlock the front door to our tiny brick house and begin to text a response. Unfortunately for me, four words in and my mother’s cruel voice interrupts.

  “Bout time you’re home….”

  Glancing up as I round the corner, I’m not too stunned at her pissed off expression. I know why she’s upset. Real question is, will she admit to it?

  She gives her unruly blonde hair a tussle. “You do know this shit is getting ridiculous, Ainsley.”

  A heavy sigh seeps free. “What shit?”

  “Don’t treat me like I’m fucking stupid! You know exactly what I’m talking about.” When I don’t admit to anything she snaps, “You don’t fucking think I know what you’re doing? Where you really are when you say you’re working late? You don’t think I know you’re rolling around in the sheets with your little boyfriend?”

  I fold my arms defensively across my chest but remain silent.

  “I saw his car outside. I know what kind of boy he is and I’ve got news for you daughter. He’s gonna leave your sorry ass the minute something tighter comes along!”

  The urge to tell her I’m praying he does rolls around my tongue.

  “Guys like that don’t love you! They love what’s between your legs! They love to shower you with gifts like that camera you don’t think I noticed!”

  Her reference to the camera Nate let me keep at the end of our vacation causes me to glare.

  “You’re just something cheap to pass the time with. That’s why they throw you bullshit like that. They don’t love you Ainsley and they never will. You’re not the girl they marry. You’re the girl they bang between wife material. You’re the dirty little sport fuck they have after work and before they have to get home to their wife and kids!”

  Her insistence that her own life is going to become mine forces bile to burn its way up my chest.

  “I’ve done everything I can, everything, to remind you that you are worth more than what lies between your legs yet here you are, lying on your back repeatedly for the first thick wallet to walk through our living room. Well I’m done! Done! You wanna throw your life away for some dick you can’t seem to get enough of then fine! That’s fine! Have it! The day you graduate, you pack your shit and move into his place! See how much he really loves you then!”

  The end of her tantrum stumbles me backwards. My jaw hits the ground and I gasp, “You’re kicking me out?”

  “You don’t wanna show me respect by listening to me like I’m your mother then I don’t want you under my fucking roof!”

  “I pay to be under this fucking roof!”

  “You barely pay for shit!” She sneers. “Besides you seem to have fou
nd your meal ticket out of here, take it and hope it doesn’t fuck you over before you get to college. That is if you even still go since riding dick is your new found focus.”

  My jaw begins to tremble in a twisted fit of rage and hopelessness. Her words echo in the back of my mind, much like the sound of my phone vibrating between my fingers. How can she do this to her own daughter? And why on earth would I ever treat her like ‘a mom’ when she barely treats me like more than a shitty roommate she found on Craig’s List?

  A throbbing starts in my head and I turn back to retreat the way I came, knowing I need to escape before things get out of hand even more. She’s only hit me twice, but both times had a prelude similar to this.

  “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” She bites. “There’s laundry to be done! I need some of that shit for work tomorrow!”

  I spin around on my heels. “Then I suggest you fucking do it yourself since you’re going to be the only one living here in a couple months anyway.”

  Her mouth cracks open as if surprised.

  “Oh, and I flushed your stash by the way. Next time you wanna hide it from the landlord either do it in your own room or fuck him on the couch if you don’t wanna bother to bury it where it belongs.”

  She mumbles profanity under her breath and I storm out the front door. That’s the real reason she’s kicking me out. She didn’t like that I didn’t re-hide it for her. Help keep the habit she loves more than me hidden from the man who swore to kick us out if he found her using again.

  When the door finally slams behind me, I swallow the sob of frustration I was holding and lift my phone to text Nate. However, the three messages waiting for me stop the action.

  Teach: This is fucking ridiculous. You should be home by now. Are you fucking with me on purpose?

  Teach: Is this some sort of fucking game to make me jealous?

  Teach: Fuck this. Don’t come by tonight.

  A tear tumbles down my cheek and I roll my eyes.

  Not in the mood to deal with any more unnecessary drama, I swipe to call Sloane, and start walking the direction of her house, praying under my breath she’s home.

  I’m not sure exactly what I did for some higher power to think I deserved all this today, but I wish I knew so I could quickly beg for forgiveness. I guess I should be thankful that even though my mother hates me and my boyfriend is convinced I’m suddenly some cheating slut he can’t trust, that I have a best friend I can rely on. I’m just hoping in the bigger picture things get worked out with Nate so it’s not her bedroom I’m moving my few boxes into while I wait for my dorm to be ready.

  Ainsley

  A large yawn leaves me as I travel down the hall for first period. After spending the night at Sloane’s gorging on tortilla chips, salsa, and 90s horror films, I wandered home just in time to get ready for school. I slipped into my loose-fitting plaid dress, which is basically my equivalent to sweats, with an oversized chunky wooden necklace. I gave my teeth a good brush, but skipped my hair. Instead, I ran some leave in conditioner in it and threw it up in a high bun. The entire process caused me to nearly miss the bus. I debated on letting it happen. With the way I feel I could definitely use a mental health day.

  Despite Nate’s initial text message to not come over last night, it didn’t stop him from trying to call when he later cooled off. Instinctively of course, I wanted to answer, but Sloane gave me an old fashion ‘lecture’ about the importance of punishing boyfriends who treat you like an asshole no matter how old they are. Her speech albeit slightly crazy, made sense in some ways. I needed space to clear my head. He needed space to see I wasn’t the bad guy in this situation. That it wasn’t even my fault.

  I stroll into class surprised he’s not at his desk.

  Assuming he stepped out to grab copies or something before class, I flop down into my desk chair, and give my forehead a good rub. Apparently sleeping on a hardwood floor with a stuffed bear for a pillow isn’t the best for your head. I have a sip of my water and contemplate whether or not I should look for an aid to battle the lingering pain.

  Just as the bell rings, I lean over to search my bag for aspirin. After a few seconds of rummaging around my laptop and the collection of textbooks and journals I haven’t touched since yesterday, I stumble across my birth control. Shit. I usually take it right after dinner whether it be at the restaurant or at Nate’s.

  Quickly, I pop the pill from yesterday out, along with the one I’ll need to take today and prepare to toss them in my mouth. Might as well take it early. The last thing I need is to forget again.

  However, my actions are ceased mid motion by Nate’s bellowing voice. “Are you eating in my classroom, Miss Jacobson?”

  I manage to catch the pills before they land on my desk.

  Our eyes lock, his swarming with rage, and he snaps even harsher than before. “Are you trying to get yourself detention?”

  There seems to be an echo of nervous gulps around the room. We’ve all seen him a little unhappy before, but nothing like this. Nothing this…severe.

  I calmly reply, “It’s my birth control pill. I forgot to take it yesterday due to a family crisis.” Guilt pops into his eyes yet I keep my polite composure. “Do you mind if I take it now?”

  He clears his throat. “Go ahead.”

  With my eyes planted in his, I drop the medicine into my mouth along with a sip of water. Once I’ve swallowed, I stifle the snarkiness building and ask, “I have a migraine and was about to take an aspirin as well. Is that alright or would you prefer I wait until after class?”

  The irritation from my challenge does its best not to become apparent on his face. “Make it quick, Miss Jacobson.”

  I lean back over to continue my search for a headache reliever when Bethany turns around to ask, “You’re on the pill?”

  My eyes slightly peer up. “Yeah.”

  “Surprising.”

  “Why?”

  “Not because I don’t think anyone would wanna have sex with you,” she quickly defends as if that makes it better, “but because of what your mother does for a living….You know, I just figured you two went to the clinic together to get shots. Kinda like your own twisted version of a mother daughter spa day.”

  The cruel joke gets the laughs she intended.

  “Miss Winston, I will not tolerate such antics in my classroom. Do you need detention?” Nate almost growls.

  “No,” she insists turning back around and offering him a sweet smile. “I’m sorry.”

  He gives me a simple glance before beginning The Sandlot.

  Humiliation heats my cheeks, but I do everything possible to bat it away.

  Funny how life has a way of kicking you in the ribs when you’re already down.

  Thankfully, I find some Tylenol, take two, and slink down into my seat just minutes after the movie begins. While yesterday included a pop quiz over character development, themes, and a section to include whether or not you disagree with this being an ode to classic films, today is nothing more than a silent day for watching.

  The feeling of my phone vibrating in my bag rolls my eyes. I should’ve turned the damn thing off. Last thing I need to make this morning even more helltastic is Josh the Jock sending me needy texts. Last night was bad enough with his endless interrogation of details about my pretend college boyfriend. I finally had to tell him I was too busy to keep texting and would talk to him later. He still sent a couple messages after but I didn’t reply. Nate wasn’t the only one getting the silent treatment for most of the evening.

  I grab it and swipe it open without pre-checking who it’s from.

  Teach: Your head better?

  My eyes cut up to see him doing his best not to glance my direction.

  Instead of replying, I silence the device and place it down on my desk, pushing him to text me again.

  He wants to prove he cares now? Then prove it.

  Nate’s body tenses and he leans in his chair to
one side, the position covering his actions.

  My phone lights up and I check it.

  Teach: Are you still ignoring me?

  I give him a sarcastic stare not bothering if anyone else notices. Reckless on my part, but so was his outburst.

  As soon as my phone lights up again, I retrieve the message.

  Teach: Can we talk at my place after school?