The Gods' Day to Die

by David Welch

  “What? I see an article online about life extension, I look,” Des replied.

  “Well, anyway, when I looked at the telomeres in his cells, I noticed they were all relatively long. Not one was shorter than you would find in an average twenty-four or twenty-five-year-old. Of course it varies somewhat; everyone ages differently. I figure that given his immortality, this is no small thing, so I look at more samples, more cells. Thousands. And in them I find one cell, one, that has shorter telomeres. Comparable to those of a thirty-something-year-old man.”

  This caught the attention of the immortals, even if they didn’t fully understand what that man was saying.

  “So I had an idea,” said Jedrick. “I put this cell in a sample of Dionysus’ blood, and I watch. And to my amazement the blue cells attacked the one cell with the shortened telomeres. They destroyed it completely. I take more samples, run this experiment again and again, and the same thing happens.”

  “Wait, you’re saying the blue cells are attacking the other cells in our body?” asked Aphrodite.

  “Yes, but only if the telomeres are shorter than a certain length. Basically, any cell in your body that gets too old is destroyed by your own immune system.”

  “Then how did any of us live past twenty-four?” asked Zeus.

  “Yes, I had that thought myself. Here is the second part. The stem cells in your tissues, they are the second player in this game.

  “You immortals have many, many times more stem cells in your tissues than a normal human. Over a hundred times as many. It is why you can regrow limbs. But if they can regrow a limb, they can also regrow a single cell.”

  “So when the blue cells destroy an old cell, the stem cells just create a new one,” Des reasoned.

  “Indeed. And they do so infinitely. Stem cells are full of telomerase, and not subject to the Hayflick limit.”

  “The what?” asked Ares. Jedrick didn’t seem to hear.

  “They keep dividing and dividing, and when needed they turn into a new somatic cell,” he said.

  “Wait, slow down. Somatic cell?” asked Hera.

  “Um, a normal cell, a tissue cell. They make up almost all of your body. But unlike me and Des, in you the blue cells destroy your cells when they get too old,” said Jedrick. “And then your magnificent stem cells create a replacement. And strangely enough, the new cell they create is the cell of a newborn. They create a cell with a full-length telomere chain, which then begins dividing like any normal cell until its telomere chain wears down—”

  “And it’s destroyed and the whole cycle starts again,” Hera surmised.

  “Yes,” Jedrick said. “Like any cell in a mortal human, the cells will only divide about fifty times before dying, except they are destroyed before reaching that limit, and replaced with brand-new cells that start at zero. You actually do age, but because the cells in your body are constantly destroyed and the new ones reset back to zero, you only age to a certain point, and then it stops. In you, evolution seems to have found a way around the Hayflick limit and cell senescence.”

  He paused and let it all sink in. Most of the immortals looked thoughtful, if a bit confused. Des thought he understood what the guy was saying, but being no geneticist, he figured he could be off entirely.

  “Well, that’s what I have pieced together so far,” Jedrick said. “Many things are still a mystery. Stem cells sometimes increase cancer risk because they never stop dividing, though yours don’t seem to. I cannot say why. For all I know, you could have the cure to cancer in your blood. I don’t know why your memories never disappear, despite your brain cells being destroyed and recreated like all the others. So many things like this, things I don’t understand . . . things I still have to poke into.”

  “People ‘poking’ us is what we’re trying to avoid,” said Hera.

  “And interesting as all this is, I think this conversation started with how you made my son into a mortal,” Zeus said.

  Jedrick nodded understandingly.

  “I know, I know, I’m sorry. It’s how I think, straight lines. Can take a while. Okay, Dionysus asks me to help him die, naturally die. I thought it was crazy to give up immortality, but Dionysus insists,” Jedrick went on. “Said he longed to live a man’s life and die a man’s death. So we go to work. It was not as hard as I thought. I simply had to alter some pieces of his DNA—”

  “Wait, Desmond said. “People can do that?”

  “Yes,” Jedrick said. “I can. I use a technique I pioneered when I was in China. I compared his DNA to a normal person’s, specifically the parts tied to bone marrow production. I found irregularities, and figured the irregularities were tied to producing blue cells. The computers he bought did most of the work. He didn’t only pay me a lot of money, he set up a state-of-the-art lab, using his own money. It is not far from here. Sorry, off topic. Anyway, using some of the stem cells you carry in your tissue for regeneration, I insert the edited DNA, then do a hematopoietic stem cell transplant.”

  “What’s that?” Hera asked.

  “Bone marrow transplant,” he said. “Basically. Common enough to treat cancers. I irradiated Dionysus’ bone marrow, put him in isolation, and did the transplant. The new bone marrow takes over, and since it is practically identical to his nuclear DNA he doesn’t even have to take immunosuppressant drugs. This new bone marrow does not produce blue cells, only the normal human red and white and a bunch of other things that are only really important to medical people like me. Anyway, the point is that without the blue cells, his telomeres began to shorten since the older cells are no longer being destroyed. Transcription errors in DNA began to occur, free radicals started to appear, all the normal signs of aging emerged. It seemed too simple to possibly work, but the results spoke for themselves. Early signs of crow’s feet, the occasional gray hair. I basically turned him into a normal twenty-five-year-old man.”

  He stopped. The immortals stared at each other.

  “When was this? When did he have this done?” asked Hera.

  “A little over three years ago,” Jedrick said.

  “And what about regeneration? The stem cells?” asked Artemis.

  “They remained in his tissues. My procedure did not alter that. But without the blue cells to destroy cells with shortened telomeres, his existing cells would keep dividing normally. They wouldn’t be replaced with brand-new cells in your tissues, because nothing was actively destroying them. They would remain and age as they would in any normal person.”

  “What about the Rot?” asked Aphrodite.

  Again silence fell, sad looks coming over each of the immortals’ faces. Jedrick shook his head slowly.

  “Yes, Dionysus spoke of that. A horrible thing . . . Unfortunately, the procedure did not alter his sperm cells in any way,” he said. “Nor would it alter an egg cell. Any children you have with another immortal would still be immortal.”

  “What if they had a transplant?” Zeus asked.

  Jedrick looked at the oldest immortal, and asked, “What do you mean?”

  “They’ve done bone marrow transplants on children,” Zeus said. “Would doing one on an immortal child before the Rot set in prevent it from happening?”

  Jedrick thought this over for a few seconds. Finally he shrugged and said, “I don’t see why not. Dionysus said the Rot was a result of blue cells attacking their own body. Though why they would not recognize the very DNA that produced them, I have no idea. Perhaps they’re incomplete in most immortals, and still expect the body to age. Then they don’t recognize cells that don’t age as similar to themselves. I don’t know, only a theory. Anyway, if there are no blue cells, then they cannot attack their own body. And after I did the procedure to Dionysus, his new white blood cells did not attack other cells that still contained the nuclear DNA for immortality. So I don’t think that would be a problem for any child of two immortals.”

 
“So we could have children again?” Aphrodite said, her eyes alight.

  “Only if we put them through a painful surgery,” Ares said. “And rob them of their immortality.”

  “They would most likely be robbed of it anyway,” Zeus replied. “And if one operation is the cost of having a child around, then so be it. It’s a small price to pay for being able to exist.”

  “Yes,” Desmond said. “But eventually you’d have to tell them. What if they have children with each other?”

  “Any children I had with Zeus would be Ares’ siblings, and his children’s uncles. Any children Ares had with Aphrodite would be our grandchildren, and our children’s nephews and nieces,” Hera pointed out. “It seems highly unlikely they would have children with each other.”

  “And as they married off to mortals, the genes for immortality would be diluted,” Zeus figured. “Ending this forever.”

  “Theoretically,” said Jedrick. “It is not impossible that a recombination of genes could occur among all the billions of people. You have sired many offspring, especially in Europe. It is a rare possibility, but not impossible.”

  “Practically impossible,” Zeus said. “An immortal hasn’t been born from two mortals in fifty-seven hundred years. All that time of mixing and recombining, and it has led to nothing.”

  “True,” Jedrick said. “Improbable, but not impossible.”

  “So can you do it again?” Artemis asked. “This procedure?” Desmond stared at his love, finding himself a bit shocked by the words. Sure, she’d mentioned her desire to be mortal many times. But many people mouthed desires when they thought they would never be achieved. Now, with evidence of its possibility undeniable, she still said the words.

  “I don’t see why not,” he said. “If it is what you desire. It will take some weeks, and you will have to spend time in isolation. With your bone marrow irradiated, you will be vulnerable to many diseases. And Dionysus had far fewer antibodies than a mortal man. His blue cells killed most diseases before the traditional immune response could begin. So even by normal standards, you would be vulnerable. Until the new marrow has spread.”

  “Not like we don’t have the time,” Artemis said.

  “We don’t,” Ares replied. “Lenka has been weakened, but he will not quit. Not now, after his recent successes. Were I in his position I would return to my base of operations, heal my wounds, and find new mercenaries. Then I would be back on the hunt. If any of you are going to do this, it’ll have to wait until after we take care of that bastard.”

  “Any of ‘you’?” Aphrodite asked. “You do not intend to do it?”

  “I don’t know yet,” Ares said. “I have to think about it. We all should think about it.”

  “I’ve been ‘thinking about it’ for six thousand years,” Zeus said, an air of finality in his voice.

  “Even if we must wait,” Hera said. “We could provide samples. Give Jedrick DNA to work with.”

  “Yes,” Jedrick said. “We can go to the lab right now, if you wish. Dionysus bought me top-of-the-line equipment. It would only take me a day or two to analyze your DNA, make sure you’re similar enough to him for the procedure to work.”

  “We’re his family,” Artemis said. “Why wouldn’t it work?”

  “Precaution,” Jedrick declared. “I have only ever looked at the DNA of one immortal. I suspect your DNA and your anti-aging mechanisms are very similar or identical to his, but I need to test to be sure. Variations and mutations can crop up. You would not all be thousands of years old if they didn’t.”

  “I’m not thousands of years old,” Desmond said. “Just so you know. I’m actually twenty-nine.”

  “Ah, I thought you looked too old to be ancient,” Jedrick said. “But no worries, you can be my control!”

  “Your control?” Desmond asked, a little nervous.

  “Yes, yes! It is always good to have control group. Until now I have had to use myself. You shall come too!”

  “Wonderful,” Desmond grumbled.

  “Yes, it is,” Jedrick said, not picking up on the sarcasm. “Come! Let us go. We can have lunch delivered there. I know a great Thai place.”

  Two days later Desmond lay on the beach with Artemis on top of him, clad in a bikini she’d bought the day before. She had the straps undone, and was going for a tan. With her physiology, it wasn’t like she had to worry about cancer. And while she undoubtedly was thinking of bronzing her skin a bit, the sight of an undone bikini top just a quick jerk from being gone altogether set his mind rocketing to all sorts of naughty places. It didn’t help that her body was stretched out against those naughty places, making it impossible to hide anything from her. It made him think she’d chosen to lie on top of him for reasons not entirely sun-related.

  As usual, he was conflicted about the situation. He thoroughly enjoyed imagining what he’d do to this woman if there weren’t a row of other beachfront houses behind him, all filled with people who would no doubt call the police. It might be worth the time in jail. On the other hand, his rational side was wondering how he could be this turned on by a woman in a bikini when he’d seen that same woman naked a hundred times. He supposed the mystery of the unknown had something to do with it, but how could there be mystery when he already had experienced this woman’s Holy of Holies?

  Did I just conflate a vagina with the Ark of the Covenant?

  Of course if that comparison were accurate probably it would have made many a treasure hunter’s job much easier. Or more difficult? He wasn’t sure how well treasure hunters did with the ladies, he hadn’t gotten that far back in college when he’d daydreamed of being an archaeologist. He couldn’t say for certain if “Hey, baby, I sift dirt for a living” was an effective pickup line. But he figured no.

  Plus, this seemed more of a neuroscience problem. He figured the sex-obsessed parts of his brain had enough influence to erase, on some level, memories of past nights of passion with this woman. Enough influence that they could convince him that the skimpy bikini really was hiding something he’d never before had the pleasure of exploring. And if science demanded that he explore the unknown, then who was he to say no?

  “I know when you’re overthinking something,” Artemis said sleepily.

  “Your eyes are closed. You know nothing,” he replied playfully.

  “Yes, I do,” she said. “Your posture changes when you retreat into your little brain-wanderings. You get much more relaxed.”

  “Well, sue me,” he replied. “Haven’t had much time to relax lately anyway.”

  “You’re thinking about sex on the beach, aren’t you?” she said.

  “Sure you don’t have special powers?” he said, winking.

  “Think you’re the first man I’ve been with who had that thought?” she said. “Ain’t gonna happen. Saltwater, sand, and genitals don’t mix. Trust me.”

  “And it looks so cool in the movies . . . ,” he mumbled.

  They lay quietly for a few moments. A question had been itching at the back of Desmond’s mind, ever since Jedrick had spilled the truth to everyone.

  “You intend to go through with it, don’t you?” Desmond asked.

  “Yes,” she replied. “Don’t try talking me out of it.”

  “That wasn’t what I was worried about,” he said.

  “Then what?” she asked lazily.

  “Us,” he replied.

  Her head lifted off his chest.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean spending forty or fifty years with somebody when you have millennia ahead of you is different than doing it when you only have forty or fifty years left,” he said.

  She looked at him for a long moment, then smiled and shook her head in disbelief.

  “That’s what you’re worried about? That with only one life left to live, I’ll dump you to find somebody better?”

 
“It had crossed my mind,” he said.

  She buried her face in his chest again, laughing to herself.

  “Were I Dio or Dita or maybe even Dad, you might have a valid concern,” she said. “But don’t you remember? I’m the tame one in the family. My husbands are so few and far between, all my worshipers actually thought I was a virgin!”

  “So what I’m getting is that you wouldn’t mind spending your life with me?” he said.

  “I wouldn’t be spending my time with you if I didn’t,” she replied. “And in case you haven’t noticed, the others are practically treating you like family already.”

  Des laughed. “Actually Hera was saying just that a little while ago.”

  “And she doesn’t have feelings for you the way I do. You think I’ve missed seeing what you risk standing by me? That I don’t take into account you being willing to give up so much to protect me?”

  “Not too long ago you were trying to sneak out on me, so I wouldn’t be able to protect you,” he reminded her.

  “Because you deserved to live a long life, and I knew I would endanger that,” she said. “Not because I didn’t appreciate that you’re willing to defend me. Fact is, I’m probably better at all the shooting and killing than you. It’s one thing to feel obligated to protect some poor, helpless woman out of chivalry. It’s another to insist on fighting for somebody who doesn’t need your help. Makes me think there’s something powerful that keeps you at my side.”

  “Well, yeah,” he said. “I’m thinking I might be in love with you.”

  She chuckled. “It’s amazing how many people say those words just to say them.”

  “Well, I’m not one of them,” he said.

  “Mmmm,” she said, nestling back into the crook of his neck. “I know. Hera is right. You are a keeper.”

  The sound of somebody clearing their throat interrupted the moment. Desmond tried to look behind him, but couldn’t turn his head around far enough. Artemis raised herself up to see.

  “Heartwarming as that was, Jedrick has run our samples,” Zeus said, holding back his own chuckles. “If you two want to get ready . . .”