House of the Galactic Elevator

by Gerhard Gehrke

“You should work for us,” the Director said.

  “We’re playing for the same team,” Jeff said, hoping he was right.

  The last of the refugees got into the elevator. Toggs lingered at the door as Jeff squeezed in past him. Doctor Cochran was keeping her distance, speaking to Agent Humphrey. The agent nodded and said something to her. She planted a kiss on the agent’s cheek and approached the elevator.

  “Looks crowded,” she said.

  “There’s only two of your kind where we’re going,” Toggs said. He pointed at Agent Humphrey. “What’s up with the agent? Is he feeling okay?”

  “He’s fine. I asked him to look after my cat.”

  Toggs broke into a grin. Jeff thought he was about to get crushed to death as Toggs pushed them all further in to make room for another passenger.

  CHAPTER 33

  The morning sky shined bright without a hint of the previous day’s storm. Moving hurt. Jeff felt like he had just started a new hobby of stacking hay bales, with liberal beatings on the side. He washed up and put on a fresh jumpsuit and left to go…where?

  There was no security headquarters anymore. He took the tram there anyway. He walked around the flattened pile of dust where it once stood. Security bots tried to keep him at a distance, but once he identified himself they left him alone. A number of automated machines sifted and dug through the debris. After an hour, a bot approached.

  “Follow me, sir,” the bot said. It led him to a street-level temporary structure where Jeff found a collection of security personnel scurrying about frantically.

  “You were pinged and notified of our location,” a long-snouted reptilian cop said in a clipped tone.

  “I don’t have my com unit.”

  “Then requisition a new one. There’s work.”

  Jeff just nodded. Before he left the new HQ, he overheard at least two of the security team refer to the cop he had just spoken to as “captain.”

  He pushed his hair from his eyes. He had been ignoring the implanted game program in his head. Now he accessed it and tried to find Jordan. She wasn’t logged in. He pinged her, but her location didn’t appear and she didn’t answer. Jeff found Detective Ceph reviewing footage of the past night’s progress against the last remaining worms.

  “Time to refill the gas tank,” Jeff said.

  They went to a place Jordan had found the third day after their being accepted into the Galactic Commons. The proprietors brewed a ground-up dried seaweed into a frothy green hot beverage that tasted like coffee. It had a kick like a depth charge and would drop Jeff off a cliff in a couple of hours, but Jeff didn’t care. He ignored the color of the liquid in his cup and took a sip.

  Meanwhile Ceph slurped at a bowl of small aquatic worms that floated in briny water.

  “Any news on Captain Flemming?” Jeff asked.

  “Lost to us all, but we search on,” Ceph said. “A hardy stock, his mold colony.”

  “He’s already been replaced.”

  Ceph just nodded. Captain Flemming was a volunteer. The captaincy was supposed to rotate between those qualified, but no one but him had stepped up to take the job for quite a long time. A bot would have to do the job if no one else did.

  Finally Ceph said, “The show must go on.”

  There came a clamor from the front door. An exiting patron had just collided with someone entering, almost spilling eight well-balanced cups of the house brew.

  “Sorry!” Oliop said. He helped the beverage-laden customer through the door. He then came and sat down at the table.

  “Good morning, Jeff Abel,” Oliop said cheerfully. He produced a silver tablet and handed it over.

  Jeff took it. The skin was firm yet pliable. He powered it on. All of his personal identification data appeared as well as a backlog of messages and other notifications. The most recent were six from a Captain Lily.

  “I took your old tablet and transferred your data to a new device.”

  Jeff hadn’t realized his old, broken device had gone missing. When Ceph gave Oliop an inquisitive look, Oliop said, “I paid for it.”

  “Have you seen Jordan?” Jeff asked.

  It was Ceph that nodded. He finished a mouthful and said, “She still roosts up in the weather palace. Said she would watch the place while we got Lord Akimbo and Irving the Grey under wraps.”

  “It must be off the grid,” Jeff said. “We’ll have to check on her. And what about the worms?”

  “Bot security teams are making headway. We have full containment. Bots infected by Akimbo’s worms have all been brought to heel. Now we press our noses forward until the battle is finished.”

  Jeff didn’t comment on the detective’s lack of a nose.

  Ceph finished up his bowl of worms. “Life is not all sweets and lazy afternoons.”

  “It’s morning,” Oliop said.

  Ceph just nodded and left.

  “Crazy guy,” Jeff said. “By the way, you should know there’s a new security captain.”

  “Not Ceph?”

  “He turned it down. He must have gotten first dibs on the job. He’s been around longer than anyone save Captain Flemming. So now we have a Captain Lily. She’s hit the ground running, I’ll give her that.”

  “What’s she like?”

  “I have no idea. I only just met her, and she was up to her eyeballs in dealing with the situation. Still, if Captain Flemming ever gave you any kind of latitude for your activities, don’t expect the same from her.”

  “Oooh.”

  “And now that Ceph isn’t here, I want to ask you something. Where did you get the idea to steal the AI?”

  “It hadn’t occurred to me to even get a new AI for the elevators until I heard that the Jinong were having a sale on theirs. So I investigated it. And then I, uh, borrowed one.”

  “And how did you even hear that they were having a sale on their AIs?”

  “I got a message.”

  Oliop pulled up the archived message on his device and showed it to Jeff.

  He read: “Limited Time Offer by Jinong Industries! Easy to Use!”

  The advert went on, highlighting the AI now on sale, accompanied by all of the saccharine graphics from the packaging. In the fine print he saw the staggering price.

  “Is there more than one Jinong Industries?” Jeff asked.

  Oliop checked his device. “No.”

  “Then they make the spammy game system as well, which is free at first. Seems like they cater to both ends of the budget spectrum. Yet both the game and the AI made their way into the city around the same time. And then all the troubles started with the Grey escaping and Lord Akimbo coming out of his seclusion.”

  Jeff checked inside his head to make sure Zachary wasn’t around. He double checked that none of the game programs were open, that he was logged out, and that he had set his status to Do Not Disturb. This would do nothing to stop a self-replicating rootkit that had spawned from a virtual insane asylum but Jeff still appreciated the sense of false security.

  Jeff leaned close to Oliop. “Why would they send you advertising for a product you could never hope to afford? Did you sign up with them for anything?”

  Oliop shook his head and shrugged.

  “If your entire species pooled its resources, it could afford to buy it easily enough, I guess. But why contact you?”

  “Maybe they know what I’m working on, and they wanted to help.”

  Jeff nodded. “That’s one possibility. I’d love to get an answer from the publishers, and I doubt they’d be forthcoming. Judging by the nature of the games they make, they’re probably not the easiest species to hack for answers.”

  “I’d probably get caught.”

  “So I’m not asking you to do that. But I have another idea.”

  He took the new tablet Oliop had given him and logged into the security database. The tablet lagged for a moment. Jeff thought perhaps the network had gone down with the headquarters building, but when the options menu appeared he knew that it was the ta
blet just warming up to its new user. From the root screen he could peruse security personnel both active and inactive, incidents logged, active investigations, persons of interest, non-emergency service requests, and confirmed criminals still present within the city.

  The Jinong were squeaky clean. The only bit of information under their heading was their reporting of Oliop’s grand theft. No logged complaints were filed against them.

  Jeff accessed the criminals section of the database. He sorted it by crimes. He then reached out to the Galactic Commons underworld for information. He would start with Jordan’s friend Shannanon.

  CHAPTER 34

  A good deal of coaxing and overpromising went into getting the new Captain of Security to accompany him to the Jinong sovereign building. Captain Lily had looked as if she might bite an arm off when Jeff finished delivering his report to her and laid out his plan of action. They didn’t make it past the Jinong receptionist. Jeff’s request to speak to the Jinong chairman, chief operating officer, any senior executive, any junior executive, or even the receptionist’s immediate supervisor were all denied.

  “I’m leaving,” Captain Lily said.

  Just then an elevator opened. Two of the reptilian centaurs emerged, both identical to each other and the receptionist. These could have been the two who had confirmed Oliop’s theft, but Jeff had no way to be sure until they introduced themselves.

  “I am Nomos.”

  “I am Themis.”

  No hands were offered. Captain Lily crossed her arms and considered the two Jinong.

  “You’re lawyers,” she said.

  Both Nomos and Themis nodded. Their tongues flicked in the Captain’s direction, tasting the air around her. Jeff saw the gleam of a wet app flashing across the Captain’s eye. By her withering expression, she could tell one Jinong from another. Or maybe she could just smell attorney on these two.

  “Do you have business to discuss?” Nomos asked.

  “We’d like to know why your species is withholding vital resources from the Galactic Commons recovery efforts,” Jeff said.

  “Is this a formal accusation?” Themis asked.

  “It’s a question. You produce the AI that was recently used to activate a pair of the elevators.”

  “Our artificial intelligence products are of the finest quality.”

  “I have no doubt. They worked wonderfully.”

  Neither Jinong responded to the praise.

  “I’m wondering why this was never offered to the city after the Bunnie Invasion and the failure of the transportation system.”

  “There was no lawful requirement that we do so,” Nomos said.

  “And the application of our product to the broken elevator has proven to be an unforeseen successful use of our AI,” Themis said. “We are, of course, overjoyed that such an application worked. We will be sure to add that to future press releases.”

  “I agree that it is within your rights to set a price for your product,” Jeff said. “But the price is set so high that only sovereign houses could even afford it. I should know. I bought one of them on my planet’s good credit.”

  “There are no refunds,” Nomos said.

  “That’s not the purpose of this visit. What we need you to explain is why you would directly advertise this astronomically priced item to the convicted criminals of the city.”

  Both Jinongs’ tongues flicked. When neither responded, Jeff continued.

  “Here’s a working theory, and I hope you’ll indulge me. I contacted some of the offenders in the security database. I sent them a message inquiring whether they had been contacted by you and received your ad.”

  “Advertising is not illegal,” Themis said.

  “But why would you send it to over thirty thieves throughout the city and then put your product out on a shelf where anyone could grab it?”

  “We have the right to advertise to anyone. And the AI is our flagship product, which is placed on the average eye level of a Galactic Commons customer. So of course it would be prominently displayed.”

  “Can you prove that you sent this out to a broader range of customers? Like ones who might actually be willing to lawfully purchase your product? And why wouldn’t you just put an empty box on the shelf to prevent such an expensive item from being stolen?”

  “No comment.”

  The Captain spoke up. “We’ll leave right now if you can demonstrate that these individuals were part of a larger advertising campaign.”

  “Our marketing is confidential.”

  “And how about letting us know your source for your prospective customers?” Jeff asked. “No one from within your sovereign house has ever volunteered for security duty. Yet that’s where the list of thieves you saw fit to market to came from. It’s a secure network.”

  Neither Jinong answered.

  “Hmm,” Captain Lily grumbled. She nodded for Jeff to continue.

  He said, “This leads us to another possibility. The Jinong are one of the elder races here in the Commons. You are also one of the most technologically savvy, judging by the success of your previous games. Some real cutting-edge products. Perhaps you got greedy. You released your new games at the same time and advertised to the same criminals, knowing they’d never go to the authorities when they discovered how difficult it was to log out. And this new generation of games installs wet without any operating system needed besides the individual having a translator. The game took off, infecting thousands. Free at first, until the microtransactions kick in. Plus you offer bots to care for the bodily needs of those who can’t log out or don’t want to. But the real sweet spot would be the AI. The new AI announcement would be window dressing for the criminals to become interested in and dismiss as they would see no use for it. But plenty would check out the game. And eventually you’d get to one of the programmers who would know what to do with the AI. It ‘accidentally’ gets out, gets activated, and demonstrates its value by solving the largest problem facing the city, and it’s a big payday for you.”

  “The thief Oliop didn’t pay for the product,” Nomos said.

  “No. But he did get arrested for it, and you were waiting for just such a breach. You knew Oliop would eventually use it. That’s why you never asked for it back. Something that expensive, you’d think you’d be more interested in recovering your losses rather than seeing the thief arrested. Once you figured out who Oliop was, you knew he’d eventually activate the product. That’s why you backed off. And none of this even addresses that what he stole was only a trial version that would require payment for full activation.”

  “This is no longer amusing,” Themis said. “We are asking you to leave.”

  The Captain said, “No, you’re going to hear him out. And I thought this would be a waste of time.”

  “Thanks, Captain. So it’s bad enough there’s a game that spreads like a virus to anyone who already uses wet apps. This already violates a few laws, doesn’t it? Add to this the fact that the worms install the same game software into anyone with a translator. So how did they get it, I wonder? It’s already apparent that you could spread your game program without ever having to spend a dime on marketing. But you weren’t satisfied with that. You took another step which put the city in jeopardy.”

  Both Jinong flicked their tongues. Jeff wasn’t sure if they ever blinked, but he kept up his own hard stare.

  “Each end user must agree to installation,” Nomos said.

  “I didn’t,” Jeff said.

  Nomos let out a hiss. “The code wasn’t ready for public consumption. It can be fixed. If Oliop hadn’t stolen the AI, this wouldn’t have happened.”

  Jeff crossed his arms. “Maybe, maybe not. But there’s one final point. I was wondering how Lord Akimbo ever got stirred up enough to try what he did. He had some interesting ideas on what to do with the populace once the city got built into his image. Having everyone locked away and playing your game fits in with him not wanting anyone to sully his new metropolis once he was finished. S
ecurity now has his drawn-up plans, which he surrendered. We also found his lair with the help of a bug. I’ll bet if we search hard enough we’ll find a special-delivered copy of the game code. Bet the people that lost their homes will love to hear about this as the investigation unfolds. But it would have worked to your advantage either way: If Akimbo had won, everyone would be playing with a worm stuck into their translator. If he lost, the game would still have been distributed. Profits galore. Especially if the elevators get fixed. That’s when the next gen of Jinong games goes galaxy wide.”

  Nomos and Themis glanced at each other.

  “Everyone who has the code installed needs to know of its nature,” the Captain said. “Today. This will be broadcast on all services. Code removal by a third party will follow, with your covering all expenses. Because at this moment, it’s a virus and not a product protected by rules of trade.”

  “But Captain,” Themis said, “your proving any of these outlandish charges will be most difficult. This was released without our consent. The product was stolen. And you have no proof of any dealings with the criminal Lord Akimbo.”

  The Captain flashed a toothy smile that was anything but cheerful. “All anyone has to do is to see where all the in-game transactions from the new games are billed to,” she said. “You are accepting payment, aren’t you?”

  The lawyers kept quiet.

  “Oh, and I have two other requests,” Jeff said. “Conditions, really. This will indicate your good faith in fixing this problem and keep us from taking matters further. All charges against Oliop are dropped.”

  Themis quickly nodded. “The second condition?”

  “That one’s obvious. Earth’s debt is canceled.”

  CHAPTER 35

  Jeff met Jordan in the weather palace’s chamber of statues. She stood waiting as the elevator door opened. Her normally perky hair drooped. She had lines under her eyes. Jeff had never seen sadness on her face before.

  “Jordan,” he said. “Are you all right? I didn’t know you’d stay behind. Have you been waiting all this time for an elevator?”