Winter

by Michelle Love

“We do,” he breathes out. “I’ve never been more certain of anything.”

  “I’m going with him. I’ve made up my mind. I’ve been weak, where you’re concerned. I have to stop being weak.”

  “You are being weak where he’s concerned, Gia. It’s not me, it’s him who is baiting you, leading you, manipulating you. It’s him, not me.”

  My mind is spinning and a part of me wants to run into his arms and go away with him. But that part of me knows better than to do such a thing to my family.

  “I’m sorry, Ryker. You have to go. We’re leaving soon. I’m going to Russia with him. There is nothing you can say or do to stop that.”

  “Marry me. I will make sure you and your family are always taken care of,” he says and for some reason, it makes me furious.

  “Get out! Get the fuck out, now! You’ve called me a whore for what I’m doing for Damien, yet you want the same damn thing. Get out and leave me the hell alone! I never want to see you again!” I spin around and go back into the bathroom and lock myself in. I won’t come out until Damien comes back in and he can deal with Ryker.

  I hear the door close and peek out to find the room empty and then I wonder how the hell he got in here in the first place. Damien is right, we need to leave quickly. Ryker has designs on me that border on psychotic.

  Part 5 - The Reactor

  RYKER

  Wafting trails of smoke dance around the dimly lit bar I’ve found to drown my sorrows in. Gia is leaving and there’s nothing I can do about it.

  “Another shot, mister?” the bartender asks me as he picks up the empty shot glass.

  “No, I think a nice large glass of bourbon with a splash of Coke is in order. I need to erase someone from my brain. You’re a professional, do you think that will do the trick?”

  The pale barkeep chuckles as he goes to get me what I’ve asked for. “It sounds like it might work.” I watch him fill the glass with ice then pour the amber liquid over the clear cubes, making them crack and pop. Fissures are left behind, marring what were perfect blocks of ice. Adding a touch of coke, he brings the drink to me and places a straw on the bar next to it. “So, who needs to be erased?”

  “A female who has given away her soul, so her family will never have to worry about money again.” I take a small sip of the liquid that’s still warm despite the ice.

  The skinny man pushes a bowl of peanuts toward me but I merely look at them, not taking any. “I know who you are, Ryker Crawford, CEO of Apollo Engineering. And I know you are planning on being on the first mission you’re able to get going, out of here. So, what do you care if some woman has sold her soul to make sure her family is well off?”

  “I shouldn’t. I know this. But she’s a brilliant person and she’s squandering her gifts. And she’s leaving true love behind for the sake of money.” I take another sip then pick up a handful of peanuts.

  “You are her true love?” he asks me as he sweeps away some dust that came out of the bowl as I picked up the peanuts and I place them on a nearby napkin, instead of eating them.

  “I am. And she’s admitted her love to me. But she’s still going to be with the man who will see to her financial security.”

  “You’re a rich man, yourself. Why not offer her what he has?” he asks me as he makes his way to serve another patron who looks to be enjoying themselves as they tap away on their cell.

  “I did and she got mad at me. But, I can’t blame her for that. I did kind of let her know I thought it was wrong of her to let the other man buy her like that. I’m at a loss with this woman. She has me turning myself inside out over her.”

  As he comes back my way, he says, “You should stop doing that. She’s going to do whatever it is she wants to. It sounds as if you need to let it all go.”

  I nod and take another drink. The alcohol isn’t burning my throat anymore, the numbing action has set in and I feel unsettled still but that’s begging to wane. “I should let it all go. I should be thinking about better things. More important things. I have more to do than most.”

  Looking at the glass, I find I’ve drank more than half of it and I should stop while I’m still functioning. Placing a hundred on the bar, I get up and give the man a nod then leave the bar and walk out into the sunlit day that’s went on as I’ve wallowed in self-pity.

  People walk up and down the sidewalks as I watch life go on. And I know my life will surely go on without Gia in it. But I’d love it if she’d never leave it.

  Walking toward my office building, I find my mind wandering and the thought of making a fuel out of corn moves in and settles there. The fuels we’re working with now are burning at a fast rate. Diesel is the slowest burning fuel but we need to add more to it, to extend it even further. The addition of a corn, biofuel might be the key. The missing link!

  My steps increase with my excitement and I hurry to get to my office and my computer to research the different types of corn that could be used to make the new fuel. As I step off the elevator, I get an idea.

  Johnny and Donna Flynn!

  Gia’s parents! They have farmland that is lying dormant but has been kept fertilized for a few years. That land would be perfect to try out a new breed of corn!

  Getting into my office, I quickly turn on my laptop and get busy looking up information about corn and its use as a biofuel. Then I make a call.

  “Hello, Ryker,” Johnny Flynn answers his phone. “How are you doing on this fine day?”

  “I’m doing fine, Johnny. I was thinking today about corn and you happen to have an unused farm that might just help me to develop a crop that could be used to make what we’ll need to get us to Mars. What do you say to me and some of my engineers making a visit to your place to see what we can do with it?”

  “That sounds exciting,” he tells me. “When would you like to come? As you know, we’re wide open.”

  “This weekend sounds good to me. And I want you to know this could be a very profitable thing for you and your family. If we get the results I think we might. Can you handle that?” I ask him and wait to see if he’s as dead set on not using his brain as Gia seems to be.

  “Do you really think so, Ryker?” he asks me and I can hear a bit of nervousness in his voice. “I wasn’t doing so hot with my farming before.”

  “This will be different. Your crops will be in a contract. We will buy the product at a specified price, no matter what. You see, it will be our engineered seeds that make the corn. You won’t be expected to make anything, we will do that and take care of all the work that goes into raising the crops. We’ll lease your equipment and employ the people you trust to do the work the right way to ensure a healthy crop.”

  “By God, I think I’m loving this idea, Ryker! I really am. This sounds exciting and to be in on the Mars missions is a thing that’ll go down in the history books. Count us in, son. You come on up here to Nebraska whenever you want to. We have a big old farmhouse, we can put you and up to ten more people up while you’re here. Donna and the girls will love cooking for you all. So, don’t you dare think of booking yourselves a motel? You hear me?”

  His hospitality is overwhelming and I find my heart is pounding with his generosity. “Will do, sir. Thank you. I’ll be in touch later today to let you know the whole plan. This is exciting!”

  “It is. It’s not the money I care about but being a part of the process to get people to another planet that has me so enthusiastic,” he says.

  “I know money isn’t an issue for you. And this may well ensure it never is, Johnny. Talk to you soon. Bye.” I end the call and have a river of energy flowing through me.

  If this can happen, Gia’s family can depend on themselves to make a legacy and financial security all on their own. Eliminating, at least, that weight. I don’t know how long she’ll see Damien’s illegitimate son as her burden to bear but at least the major one may soon be lifted.

  And now I think I need to fix the damage my emotions have caused. I’ve never had any trouble keeping my head
on straight before. I can’t blame Gia, entirely for how I’ve acted. I need to make amends with her.

  Calling her next, I wait to hear her shriek at me or curse me. “Ryker?” Damien answers her phone. “Gia isn’t a person you should be calling.”

  “I had something I wanted to say to her. I’d like it if you gave her the phone, please.” I tap my finger on my desk as I wait to see if he’ll do as I’ve asked.

  “No,” he says, very simply and it makes me mad but I hang onto my temper.

  “Damien, I know about your secret family. I don’t want to let your secret out but if you keep me from speaking to Gia, I will.”

  “She told you?” he asks me as if that’s inconceivable.

  “She did. So, give her the phone or the media will get wind of what you’re hiding,” I threaten him.

  When he hangs up on me, I look up the phone number for one of the local television stations. He will not get away with what he’s doing if he expects to take Gia down to do it.

  GIA

  After a shower to clear my head, I’ve started packing and have gotten my head back on straight. This nonsense with Ryker got out of control and I feel much more put together.

  The door to our hotel room opens and Damien strides in, tossing the cell phone at me. “Call Ryker and see what the hell he has to say. You told him about my son. He’s threatening to go to the media about it. I don’t know why you did that but it will be up to you to fix it.”

  I catch the phone and feel frozen inside. “Damian, I…”

  “Save it. Call him and hurry up about it. And be nice.”

  His pacing is making me nervous as I find Ryker’s name in my contacts and call him. “Gia?” he asks as he answers the phone.

  “It’s me.”

  “Ask him if he’s called the media yet,” Damien directs me.

  “I heard him,” Ryker says. “Tell him I haven’t yet.”

  “He hasn’t yet, Damien,” I relay the message. “Ryker, why would you threaten that?”

  “I’ll do whatever I have to, Gia. But that aside, I didn’t want you to leave thinking about how we left things. That’s not who I am. I think you and I are kind of a mess about one another. I don’t like to think of myself in that light and I’m sure you don’t like it, either.”

  “I don’t like it at all,” I tell him as I watch Damien take a seat, visibly relaxing with the information that Ryker hasn’t played that card yet.

  “Glad to hear we’re on the same page about this. I wanted you to know I called your father…”

  “You did what?” I ask him as his words have sent a chill right down my spine.

  “Not about you,” he assures me. “About making a special crop of corn to use as a biofuel. I wanted to tell you about that before you left for Russia. I also would love to have your input on that but I won’t force your hand about that. If you do have any idea or knowledge about corn being used in conjunction with other fuels, I’d really like to have your help with this. If we find something that will work, it will mean we’re that much closer to getting a mission underway.”

  “I see. Well, thank you for asking but I’m afraid I’ll have to leave myself out of that.”

  “Out of what?” Damien asks me, suddenly looking nervous again. “Give him what he wants. Gia!”

  Putting the phone on mute, I hiss at him, “He’s not forcing me to do it, Damien. Chill out!”

  He gives me a harsh look then says in a low voice that has a lot of menace behind it, “You will do as he asks. You are the one who told my secret and you are the one who will have to accept the consequences of that. It means you are in that man’s hands now, just as much as you’re in mine.”

  A shiver runs through me at what he’s just said. And I have to shake my head to clear it, then answer Ryker who’s calling out, “Gia? Are you there?”

  Taking the phone off mute, I answer him, “I am here. Sorry, I accidently hit the mute button. About your offer, can I think about it?”

  Damien narrows his eyes at me, letting me know he expected me to take the offer. But I’m not about to fall into Ryker’s hands. Damien has no idea how hard it is for me.

  “You can. And I don’t even need you to be here. You can simply help by emailing me your findings. I know you want to be with Damien,” he says and I find that odd because he knows it’s not what I want, it’s what I have to do.

  “So, I can work from Russia?” I ask him and nod at Damien who nods back. “I can do that.”

  “Great,” he says. “I’m going to your family’s farm this weekend. It’s a shame you’re leaving so quickly. It’d be great to have you there.”

  I look at Damien and relay that information. He huffs then says, “You can go. I will stay here with my son and his mother. We will all leave, once you get back. He has us over a barrel. We have to do what he asks.”

  I mute the phone again to say, “Damien, he doesn’t sound like he’s threatening anything. He’s asking and being very cooperative.”

  “He’s going to get what he wants. You don’t see it but I do. Go with him to Nebraska, Gia. There’s no other choice, no matter what he’s telling you.”

  Taking the phone off mute, I say, “Ryker, Damien thinks I should go with you to my family’s farm, so I will. You do understand this is strictly business, right?”

  Damien pulls his hand over his face then gives me another dirty look along with a scowl. He’s pissed!

  “Yes, I do realize that, Gia. Thank you. This is for the better of our people, after all,” he says. “If it’s okay, I’ll call you this evening after getting with some more of my engineers. I’ll bring by a consulting contract for you to sign this evening. Or better yet, I’ll send a messenger with it.”

  “You do that, bye,” I say and end the call to deal with Damien who seems furious. And he’s right to be. “I am so sor…”

  “Don’t! Don’t say you’re sorry, Gia! You have me by the balls.” He gets up and starts pacing again and I cringe and move to sit on the edge of the bed.

  “It’s not me…”

  He spins around and is up in my face, his words are hot on my face as he says, “It is you. You gave that man enough information to ruin me. Completely! And it will be you who caters to his every want where you’re concerned. It will be up to you to make nice with the man, so I don’t lose everything. Because if I lose it all then so do you. And your family will as well.”

  “I don’t think I like the way that sounds, Damien. An hour ago, I was to never talk to him until you leave the planet, now it sounds as if you’re saying if he wants me in his bed then I damn well better get my ass in it.”

  Gripping my chin, he speaks through gritted teeth. “That’s exactly right, Gia. You’ve put yourself into a precarious position by running your mouth. Telling business that was not yours to tell. And spare me the attitude of prudish concern for being taken by the man. We both know you want it, anyway.”

  I shy away from him as I move further back up on the bed to get away from him. “Not like this,” I say. “Never like this. Not with your downfall being held over my head. I hate this. I never meant to get you in this position.”

  “Everything has to be rethought,” he says as he steps back. “You may have ruined it all.”

  A sudden pain shoots straight into my heart. “Damien! What do you mean?”

  When he looks at me, it’s as if he’s looking right through me. “I mean, I can’t afford to step on his toes where you’re concerned. The thought of you being with him and me too, isn’t a thing I can take.”

  “Damien, I can make this work. I can! Let me try. Don’t drop me.”

  “I can’t drop you. I still need you. I just don’t want you sexually if he insists on having you that way.” He looks at me with disgust and it makes me mad but I hold my tongue.

  “He’s not that kind of man. He’d never want me like that as he holds something over my head for it. You have nothing to fear. I’ll stand by our deal, Damien. I will.”

>   “I have a lot to think about and I need to tell Svetlana that we’re not going anywhere just yet. We’ll have to unpack and that will take a while. You stay here.” He walks out of the hotel room, leaving me with a mess in my head.

  My phone is lying on the bed. I am now at Ryker’s beck and call, thanks to my mouth. And Damien’s constant security I’ve grown to rely on, seems to be skating on thin ice.

  Now, what am I supposed to do?

  RYKER

  Feeling much better about things, I make the call to Johnny Flynn to give him the great news that even his daughter will be attending our meeting. “Ryker?” he answers the phone. “What did you come up with?”

  “Johnny, I have great news, Gia is on board as a consultant with Apollo Engineering now. I’ve just received the signed contract back from her and we’re all set up to leave on my jet on Friday. We’ll be staying two nights with you and I will have seven in the party. Is that going to be too much on you?”

  “No, not at all. And you said Gia has signed on with your company?” he asks, sounding surprised.

  “She did,” I hold up the contract in my hand the messenger just returned to me. “Isn’t that great?”

  “It’s surprising,” he says. “She’s never worked since she and Damien got together. I though he didn’t want her to.”

  I’m sure he didn’t. “I managed to sweet talk him into letting her do it if she wanted to. It seems she wanted to work. She’s brilliant, you know.”

  “She is. And it’s going to be good for her to work. She didn’t act like the same old Gia when we spent the weekend with her. Thank you for that, by the way.”

  “I think all Gia needs is to use that brain of hers again and that girl you knew will be coming right back to the surface. She’s just buried her true self to morph into what she thinks Damien wants. But Damien can take her for who she really is or he can move on,” I say as I run my finger over her signature at the bottom of the contract.

  “Move on?” her father asks. “Is that something that might happen with her taking this job? I don’t want to interfere with anything between them.”