by Janie Marie
His harshness hurt her heart. It felt like he was blaming her for something, and she felt even worse because she had been looking forward to Ryder’s attention. But why should she be sorry?
“It’s just a ride,” she whispered.
“It’s not.” David put a hand on her leg. “Please, Jane. I know Ryder, and I know what he’s doing.”
“And what’s that?”
“He’s trying to get into your pants.” David shook his head. “He’s always been after you, trying to take you.”
“What?” She felt an unexplainable urge to defend Ryder, which didn’t make any sense.
David breathed harder. “Why do you think I hit him that day? At tryouts?”
“Because he was taking your position?”
“He said he was taking my position and my girl,” David snapped. “Now I’ve got my position back, and he’s swooping in to steal you.”
She felt lightheaded. “I don’t think Ryder planned to fail so the teachers would suggest I tutor him all to steal me. It’s not like I belong to anyone to be stolen anyway. And it’s not like you’ve cut off all girls.”
“I tried everything to cut off girls and it didn’t work. I was nearly grabbing you and kissing you at breakfast, Jane.” His eyes flashed in the darkness. “It was that fucking hard. You’ll always be mine, and I’ll be damned if I let him come take you away when I’m finally confessing this to you.”
For a few seconds, Jane stared at the shadow around his face, then shook her head. “You need to go. You’re acting like a possessive boyfriend, and I can’t even deal with that after my worst fears about you with Diane turned out to be true.”
“I’m sorry.” He ran a hand through his hair, blowing out a deep breath. “Please try to understand.”
“I understand just fine. Is he why you’re here?” The words were out before she could process them, but now that she’d said it, she needed to know. “You saw him drive me home—I saw you watching. Is this just part of your rivalry? To make sure he can’t have anything? Because Diane isn’t fulfilling your fantasy?”
“Don’t say that shit.” Oh, he was pissed. “Of course, she’s not fulfilling anything I really want, and he’s not why I’m here.”
“How convenient, then.” God, she sounded hysterical, but she didn’t care. “You went out with Diane last night and left me standing here in my towel. You acted like there was something between us, and yet you still left. To her.”
“I went out with the team. I knew you were going to tutor that asshole today, and I was hurt.”
“So, you went and fucked her to get over it?” She gaped at him, a hollow feeling spreading through her.
“I didn’t fuck her.” He exhaled loudly. “I haven’t been with her all the way for over a month.”
The hollow feeling vanished, and ugly cuts sliced across her heart. “Just go. I need time. If you could spend yours fucking Diane and whoever else, I can tutor Ryder and spend time with him.”
“It’s only been her,” he said softly. “Sex, I mean. I tried stuff with other girls, but she’s the only one I went all the way with. She’s not you, though. I felt sick, but I thought I had to try—I had to give you a reason to get away from me. I just let her be the one.”
She rubbed under her burning eyes. “You know, that makes it worse.”
His shoulders hunched forward. “It kills me to tell you this. I’m just being honest. I don’t want to lie or hide anything from you if we start what I want to between us. Just please don’t run to him. Not him.”
Her jaw dropped open, but she snapped it shut quickly. “I know you probably knew I felt the same way about Diane, David. So, you can piss off with the ‘not him’ demand. I’m his tutor.”
“That’s not all you want to be, and you know it.” He growled. “He’s going to make his move.”
“I can’t believe you. He’s the only reason you’re making a move. How many times would you have continued fucking Diane if he hadn’t failed?”
“I wouldn’t have fucked her again,” he said, total defeat in his tone now. “I told you she keeps the others away. I let her.”
Dammit, he was breaking her heart with every confession. “I’ve heard enough.”
David stood, pulling his hair as he stared out her window. “Fine. Let him take you to school, let him bring you home. Then you decide when you’re ready if you want me, or if you want to do whatever it is that I know you’ll do with him.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
He dropped his gaze to her. “I’m not blind, Jane. You look at him all the damn time. He fucking gloats about it, and I have to stay silent so I don’t sound like a jealous boyfriend instead of a stepbrother. Yet another reason to let shit happen with Diane.” A loud sigh filled the room, but he lowered his arms then reached down, cupping her face and gave her a firm kiss on the lips. “Just be happy with your choice. And please tell me when you decide. Don’t let me find out I’ve lost from him. I know I don’t deserve you, but I’m not going to just give up now. No more.”
All she did was nod as her heart throbbed. Her whole chest felt like it was caving in, making it harder to breathe.
David caressed her cheek, and gently kissed her lips. “Sweet dreams, Jane.”
She closed her eyes, savoring the beautiful, torturous kiss. “Night, David.”
Six
Jane had stomach cramps, and they weren’t from butterflies at the memories of David giving her her first kiss last night—her first ‘make out, almost losing her virginity’ epic moment. It wasn't even that David had broken her heart with a truth she denied herself for a long time. No, all of that was locked up with her tears, hidden in the space inside that allowed her to function and suffer at the same time. The sick feeling, though, it had everything to do with Ryder knocking at her front door for the second time, waiting to take her to school.
It wasn’t that he was there that had her ready to heave, just that she almost felt he would know just by looking at her that something had happened between her and David, and she was still broken up about the truth. Ryder had been right; she’d not let herself really see that David wasn’t perfect.
“Sorry, I’m running—” her words faltered as she looked up to see a very similar face but not the one she had been expecting.
Tercero smiled softly. “Ryder asked me to give you a ride.”
Her heart sank, but her stomach discomfort eased. “Oh.”
Another faint smile. “Apologies for disappointing you.”
“Oh!” She shook her head. “No. I’m just being weird. I’m not disappointed. Thanks for the ride.”
He looked so much like Ryder that it was a little freaky. “We should hurry.”
“Yes, I’m coming.” She felt flushed as she locked the door. “I mean, not coming like coming . . . Just—”
“I wasn’t thinking of you having an orgasm.” He chuckled, putting a hand over hers when she struggled to get her key in. “Relax, cara.”
Holy moly, his touch was a perfect mix of heat and tingles. “Okay.”
With his help, she locked the door, and he gently led her by the arm to a sleek black Mustang.
Jane took the opportunity to study him up close. True, he looked like Ryder, just leaner, a tiny bit shorter, and his hair, though just as black as Ryder’s, was down a bit past his shoulders. Most guys couldn’t pull the look off, but he killed it.
He caught her looking and smiled. “What is it?”
She blinked, shaking her head. It was like falling into a trance. “I haven’t seen you up close before. I didn’t know your eyes were so dark.”
“Hm.” He held open the passenger door for her. “Do I scare you?”
“You know what?” She grinned up at him, happy that all the knots in her stomach were gone. “I feel entirely content with you.”
“As I do with you.” He motioned for her to get in. “Your chariot.”
“Thanks.” She slid in, placing her backpack on her la
p as he shut the door.
When got in and they took off, she cleared her throat. “So, not that I’m disappointed about you giving me a ride, but—where is he?”
“Practice.” Tercero didn’t look at her as he drove. “The coaches decided he should be further punished for failing, so he’s doing both practices and having to find time to get tutoring on his own.”
“What?” She gaped over at him. “That’s not fair. When is he supposed to find the time?”
A faint smile touched his lips. “I’m sure he’ll work something out if it means spending time with you.”
As warm as that made her feel, guilt and heartache smothered the giddiness wanting to pour out of her.
“I assumed you were looking forward to your tutoring sessions,” he said quietly.
Jane pressed her lips together while fidgeting with the strap on her backpack. “I actually was.”
Now, he tossed her a quick look. “Something changed?”
She bobbed her head before realizing it. “With David.”
“I see.” He refocused on the road. “Do you want to tell me? Or should I offer useless suggestions?”
She smiled, leaning her head back. “I like your car.”
“Ah, change of subject.” He was definitely smiling. “In that case, I will say thank you and offer to listen if you need someone to talk to.”
Jane saw now that Luc’s way of talking was just something that the brothers had in common. She theorized that even Ryder could sound proper if he ever stopped flirting or being rude. “Are you close with Ryder?”
“He’s my big brother.” He glanced at her. “You think I’ll tell him what we discuss?”
“Well, he’s your brother, so I think you would. Especially with the stuff that’s going on in my head.”
“If you ask me to keep something between us, it will remain so.” He put a hand over his heart. “I give you my word.”
She laughed, thinking of Ryder saying ‘shit’ or something dirty. “Well, I think if we had a bit more time to develop trust, I would spill the beans to you. You do seem trustworthy. I’m just kinda private.”
“Because David was your closest friend, but then you became stepsiblings and you felt like you’d lost a friend? You no longer had anyone you could trust? Except for the blond girl, but you rarely see her anymore.”
“Wow, you’re observant.” She stared at his profile. Gosh, his resemblance was really messing with her.
“It’s easy to observe when everyone is more obsessed with your family than the quiet brother.”
“Does that bother you?” She never thought about how being one of the Godson siblings would be. They seemed proud and confident, but Tercero, despite being nearly as drop-dead sexy as Ryder, was always on the outside.
“Not really. I can accomplish a lot when the world is staring at my brothers.” He hesitated, then added, “Like spending a year in Italy and having Archer turn in assignments for me without the teachers ever noticing I wasn’t in class.”
“Really? I know y’all went to some prep-school when we were really young and came back, but I —” She sat up straighter, trying to remember when he might have been gone. “Wait, I did notice a time you weren’t around. Sophomore year.”
“You noticed?”
“Yes.” She frowned, wondering why he would think someone couldn’t miss him. “I’m your neighbor. And, if you ask Ryder, I’m a pervert who watches you guys swim. I definitely noticed you were missing.” If Ryder wasn’t there, her eyes sought out his look-alike, then all sorts of new ideas began because Tercero was just mysterious.
“Ryder enjoys getting your attention,” he commented.
Guilt filled her again. She did watch Ryder more than she wanted to admit. It made her wonder how much she had really denied it because she was broken over David.
“Smile, tesoro. I didn't mean to upset you.”
“Is that Italian?” She looked up at him, realizing he’d called her cara earlier, too.
“Yes, it means treasure,” he said, not showing any indication that he was uncomfortable calling her such a thing.
“It’s pretty.” She felt those damn tingles, and she nearly sighed and closed her eyes to bask in it.
“I’m glad you like it.” He took the turn to enter the school parking lot. “If you’d like, I can give you a ride home. Ryder will have practice unless he can get out of it.”
“Oh, you don’t have to.” She sat there as he waited for some students to cross.
“I would enjoy your company.” He found a parking spot and quickly cut the engine. “I’m home alone almost as often as you are.”
She stared at him, surprised. She was home alone all the time. Wendy had a job that she went to nearly every day after school, and if she wasn’t working, she had school activities. David was either at practice or avoiding her, and her mom was usually asleep or at work. If she did have days off, Kingston usually spent them with her, and they’d go out. Of course, he always offered to take her along, but she didn’t like feeling like a family with them.
He caressed her cheek. “You’re surprised by this?”
“A little,” she admitted, enjoying his touch. “Guess I ignore a lot of my loneliness.”
“Then spend the afternoon with me. I’ll help you remember what it feels like to have someone around who desires your company.”
She giggled, actually giggled. “I love the way you talk.”
A beautiful smile stretched over his lips. “You realize you comment something pleasant about me whenever it comes to you having to confront something about yourself, don’t you?”
Jane sighed. “I have a feeling you’re going to uncover all of my secrets.”
“That is why you are a treasure.” He smoothed her hair back. “Come.” His eyes glinted, and he smirked when she undoubtedly blushed bright red. “Naughty girl.”
Jane practically dragged her feet as she headed to lunch. Wendy was out sick, and that meant she’d be eating alone today. Not that out of the ordinary for Jane, but she wanted to talk to someone. Needed someone.
A muscular arm slung over her shoulder, startling Jane, but all anxiety vanished when she looked up, and the mouthwatering Ryder Godson grinned down at her. “Miss me, babe?”
“Not at all.” She smiled, leaning against him and completely giving herself away.
“Liar.” He smirked, eyeing her and seeming to take in how well she fit under his arm. “I could practically feel you missing me.”
If that was true, she was so embarrassed. Then again, this had to mean he was missing her. Maybe.
“I sent my sorta-clone,” he said. “How was he?”
“Tercero’s not your clone, but he was nice.” She glanced around the hall, cringing a bit as she realized they were drawing a lot of stares.
Ryder noticed her cowering, and he threw a glare at the people in the hall. “Mind your business,” he snapped. Never had Jane seen teenagers ‘mind their business’ so fast before. One kid had even started reading the instructions on a fire extinguisher.
She grinned, leaning against him more to get his attention. When she had it, she carried on like he hadn’t just scared their peers. “Thanks for sending Tercero. He told me what happened. It’s totally unfair. If I see your coaches, I’m giving them a piece of my mind. How do they expect you to get your grade up if you’re being worked double for a sport they won’t even let you play?”
“Thanks, feisty girl.” He gave her a little squeeze. “And I’m glad you didn’t mind Tercero driving you. If I had your number, I would’ve warned you. I got the call late last night.”
It still annoyed her that they did this to him. Why get him a tutor if they weren’t ever going to let him have time to be tutored? Then his words registered; he was getting bad news when she and David were making out. “It’s all right. Um, give me your phone.” She held out her hand, ignoring the cocky smirk he gave her as she took it and entered her number.
“Want me to do some
cute shit and send you a picture of us fucking so you have my number?”
She laughed smacking his stomach. Oh, Lord, why is he so ripped? “I have no idea how that could be cute. Nor do I know where you’d get pictures of such a thing.”
He halted and tightened his arm around her. “Here. Stop.”
“Why?” She darted her gaze around, worried that David would show up for some reason. Was she cheating? No, they weren’t official. She was taking time to think.
At first, Ryder just messed with his phone, then he grinned, bending down and took a selfie of the two of them. “Cute shit, babe.” He sent the photo, and she felt her butt vibrate. “Put something sexy for my contact so you get all tingly when you see my texts.”
She almost choked on nothing at all. Did he somehow know he made her tingle? As she pulled her phone out, she smiled at the picture. He was perfect.
“Aw, you like it,” he teased, pulling her along with him again. “I’m taking you out for lunch. It’ll count as tutoring if you’re worried about anyone asking why you’re with me.”
Jane bit her lip because she knew that’s exactly the excuse she would have given David.
Ryder was quiet as he guided her through the parking lot to his car. This time, he opened the passenger door and waited for her to get in. When he finally sat in his own seat, she imagined all sorts of things she wanted to do with him, and at the top of the list was kissing him
Why? Why did she have to want to kiss him now? Why couldn’t she before David had broken her heart? If she was smart, she’d swear off men and become a nun.
“What’s wrong, babe?” He slipped his sunglasses on, then tapped her leg. “Seatbelt.”
“Sorry.” She pulled it on quickly, realizing she liked being called ‘babe’ by him. “Don’t know why I forget that. It’s like I have a death wish with you.”
He waited for her to get fully buckled before he backed out of the parking space. “Did I say something wrong? You’ve got your worried look going on.”
She wanted to hug him. He sounded so cute, and it mattered so much that he had looks for her. “No, it’s nothing you did or said.”