by Janie Marie
Baby, I don’t know what to do. You haven’t even gone to him, and I’m losing my mind. You asked for time, and I agreed, and I want to rip your choice away. I can’t, so I’m going to distance myself. It’s the only way I can function. I can’t let my feelings for you out in the open. I feel like such a bastard for even expecting you to start a secret relationship with me. Fuck, I haven’t even told you, but you have to know how things will have to be. We would lose everything, and I don’t want to see you hurt. I don’t want the world to rip you apart, because it’s you who will suffer most. Not me. Everyone will overlook me and focus on you, and I don’t want that to happen. I want to shout my love for you, baby, but I’m not there for you. I won’t be there to shield you the way I know you will need to be. I won’t be able to stop our parents if they decide to take you away.
I’m lost on this, Jane. All I know is that I can play, get my scholarships and move us far away. No one will judge us. No one will know, and you’ll be safe. But if you choose him, I have to walk away. I don’t want to. I want you to pick me. I love you. I love you more every day. I can make you happy, if you just stay patient.
If he’s the one, though, be happy. If he looks at you the way he has since he first saw you, I know he can make you as happy as I want to, maybe more. So, just listen to your heart.
Yours beyond forever,
David
Jane’s phone vibrated, and her heart squeezed.
Tercero: Are you sure you don’t want a ride, tesoro?
Ryder had probably told him things were over with them, but he was being a sweetheart and still willing to drive her scared-of-driving ass around. He’d even offered to take her to lunch and the game, if she wanted, or somewhere else if she didn’t.
The messed-up thing was she wanted it all. She wanted Ryder, David, and she wanted Tercero when they weren’t there. She wanted to be there for Tercero, the way he deserved to have someone there for him. He knew what she felt—had suffered the same loneliness—and she wanted to be the girl who made him smile and feel special.
“I’m such a whore,” Jane had said, shaking her head as she angrily responded to him: I’m good. You don’t have to offer anymore.
And stop calling me your treasure! I’m nothing to you.
And you’re nothing to me!
“And a bitch.” She chucked her phone on the bed, hating herself on every level a person could hate themselves. The worst places in Hell were reserved for selfish little sluts like her.
“Hon?” Her mother called through the door with a light knock before it opened. “Are you okay?”
Jane nodded, wiping her face before snatching her phone. “Just allergies are bothering me today.”
Her mom smiled softly, a faint blush staining her cheeks. “Well, might want to blow your nose. There’s a handsome boy waiting for you downstairs. He says you aren’t expecting him, but he insists on you coming down.”
“What?” Jane’s heart raced. “Who is it?”
“Why don’t you go see,” was all her mother said before slipping out the door.
Just like her mother to leave her hanging, without any advice to help her through tough times. Then again, Jane had been the one to push her mom away after she remarried. Her mom was just as awkward around her as Jane was with her, and her mother’s tactic was avoidance and smiles.
Jane glanced at her reflection, sighing at her splotchy and sick complexion. The hickeys were glaringly visible, too. There’d be no hiding them.
Heaving her backpack onto her shoulder, she headed downstairs. Only two people came to mind of being there: Ryder or Tercero, and right now, she was prepared to run to either one and cry like a baby.
Well, her shitty attempt at self-punishment and deprivation of love remained safe, because neither boy toying with her heart was waiting at the bottom of the stairs.
Luc Godson smiled faintly, and it nearly made her weep because it was a mix between Ryder’s and Tercero’s. Worse, it was nothing like David’s. “Oh, what a mess you’ve made, Jane.” He lifted something out of a bag at his feet. “Luckily, for you, I am better than my brothers at planning and more clever than the girl trying to push them away because her heart is trying to punish her for simply loving more than one boy.”
Jane dragged her feet all the way to him. “What are you going on about?”
He chuckled, moving her hair as he inspected her neck. “Foolish boys.”
“I don’t have time to listen to any lectures or for you to tell me to give Ryder a chance, or for me to at least let Tercero take care of me.”
“I’m here for you, Jane.” He held up a letter jacket: L. Godson.
She blinked once, then again to see if she had imagined it. “What?”
“You are about to return to school on game day, the day after you arrived at school with one love bite,” he said. “The day after you had the cops called on you because you were with my younger brother at Nirvana’s Cafe having sex, which you returned to school with a second hickey and were rumored kissing him before hobbling to classes.”
He moved closer, putting the jacket around her shoulders. “Now, you’re about to endure a very wounded Ryder whom you’ve pushed away, leaving others to speculate why, and likely attack your reputation. You will have to witness your first love as he gives his jersey for the first time to a girl you despise.”
Jane gasped, shaking her head. David was going to give it to her. He wouldn’t just . . . He would.
He was moving on.
Luc took her backpack and set it on the floor then guided her arms through the sleeves of his old letter jacket. “You are going to realize you cared a great deal more for Tercero than you thought, and you are going to miss him, especially when you see how alone you’ve caused him to be. Yet, you won’t be able to bring yourself to go to him because he reminds you too much of my arrogant brother.”
He situated her hair around her neck. “So, instead of being ridiculed, alone, and wounded by jealousy and heartache, you are going to be the girl Luc Godson has chosen, and you will own whatever shame your peers, my brothers, or your loves throw at you. Because, Jane, you are going to be mine.” His gray eyes gleamed silver. “At least, it will appear that way when I escort you to school, pick you up for lunch, after school, and we arrive at the football game, hand-in-hand. The former king of this Hell hole, and his, shall we say, queen.”
Her eyes welled with tears, and her pathetic heart found a bit of strength. When she’d least expected it, light appeared at the end of a dark tunnel. “You smooth-talking, clever bastard.”
One of those faint smiles appeared again, and he retrieved her backpack. “I have been called worse.” His cold hand wrapped around hers. “Let’s make our arrival. I think you’d fair better if the gossip of the day is that you are Luc Godson’s girl, the one he stole from Ryder than the girl my brother fucked once, or that David Leodegrance has officially moved on from his secret love for his stepsister.”
If Ryder’s Camaro made her swoon, and Tercero’s Mustang made her giddy, then Luc’s white Lexus LC had her ready to sell her soul.
Jane slid her fingers over the seats as she prepared to get dropped off. “So, do I get the car when we break up?”
Luc cast her an emotionless glance, then he smirked. “I never said I was giving you up.”
She bit her lip, turning away to stare out the window. Luc Godson was royalty as far as Black Hills residents were concerned. She rarely said more than a few hellos to him in passing on the way to her house, but she knew he was smart, seductive, manipulative, and had been a highly recruited Division One school pick his senior year. He had it made with his choices to the best of the best, then he made even more headlines by opting to begin his own business doing God knows what. Clearly, he knew what he was doing, though, because unless he stole this car, he was loaded.
So, him saying he wasn’t giving her up had her all kinds of worried. Had she missed something when he showed up, offering to save her from public hu
miliation and heartbreak?
“If you are going to be my queen, you hold your head high. You don’t care what anyone whispers about you, and you don’t fret over schoolboys who failed miserably at making you theirs.” His fingers slid across her cheek. “Smile for me when I say goodbye to you. That is all I ask. That and you don’t let your heart weep any longer. Ryder is stronger than this, so is Tercero, and the young prince you live with, David, should know when to put honor aside and when to transition that honor from others to the one who matters most.”
Jane sighed, closing her eyes. “How do you know so much? I haven’t talked to anyone.”
“Ryder isn’t able to conceal his feelings when they come to you,” he said, “and Tercero attempted to carefully console him without revealing he too was in misery from the sudden loss of what you were building together. It is a good thing Archer’s and Savaş’ main interest in you is to annoy Ryder.”
A laugh slipped free from her mouth. “I’m actually so happy to hear I’m not interesting to guys.”
“I didn’t say that.” He took a turn she wasn’t expecting, making her eyes fly open.
“And David?” Her breathing quickened at the sight of the doors that all the football players entered on pep rally day. “You called him ‘young prince’. Why?”
“He had the makings to take my place. He is more of a leader than Archer, more disciplined and honorable than Ryder, and he is quite strong. He simply failed to take what was his, starting with you.”
“Oh,” was all she could say, panicking because Luc parked outside the opened doors to the big gym. “What are you doing?”
He cut the engine to his car as the cheerleaders and football team made double lines at the doors, leading into the gym that roared with school chants, the drums exciting the crowd even more.
“The school they are playing is the ultimate rival I was responsible for first crushing. They have chosen to honor me as a way to intimidate.” He held her chin. “Hold your head high and stay by my side. Don’t drop your gaze for anyone, and do not flinch under their stares. Ready?”
“Luc, what are you doing?” She clutched his arm.
“Urging you to rise after you fall.” He opened his door, the roar of the school spotting him, the cameras for the live stream that fed into the gym’s huge monitors probably adding to the screams as he rounded the car. Then silence when he opened the passenger door and held a hand out for her. “Time to be great, Jane.”
She spotted David and Ryder, their shocked and angry stares proving they had no idea what Luc had done.
Luc cleared his throat, and she focused on him, reading his look: be a queen, not a whore.
He was right. She had no idea David had loved her. She had no idea Ryder had wanted to be with her until yesterday. She wasn’t David’s girlfriend, even if she wanted to be. Even if they had kissed, she had asked for time, and even if it was stupid, she had the right to explore her feelings for Ryder. And she had the right to be hurt by David fucking Diane.
David didn’t get to decide she’d be his secret or that she had to be protected and only when they were gone to be shown off. Ryder . . . well, he hadn’t done anything wrong. She’d simply pushed him away. Tercero was probably the one she was most sorry about. He’d been looking for someone to fill the gaping emptiness left by a selfish girl who wanted his brother over him, and Jane wouldn’t even let him be there for her. Instead, she’d purposely hurt him, and it was unnecessarily cruel.
She could either cry, or she could take charge, show David she didn’t need protection, show Ryder he could be equal to what he thought she considered David—someone she couldn’t live without, and she could learn how to be what Tercero deserved without running and crying.
Jane took Luc’s hand with a smile, grinning wider when a full one reached his eyes.
He gave her hand a little squeeze as he turned to the crowd of players who looked to him in awe. He waved, but it was her he turned to, smiling, as he led her past the team, past the confused and envious cheerleaders, including Diane who was wearing David’s jersey over her cheer uniform.
It hurt terribly, like a rusty knife to the heart, but Jane lifted her chin and walked at Luc’s side into the roaring gym, past the coaches, and toward the principal.
Mr. Prince cast her a questioning look before shaking his head and chuckling. A smile stayed on his face as he led them to the podium set up for speakers.
The cheers died down, and there were whispers as the principal spoke, praising Luc’s high school accomplishments, and his success as a multimillionaire startup businessman.
“I give you Black Hills’ King of Friday Night Football, Luc Godson,” Principal Prince said, moving aside for Luc, who had yet to let go of her hand.
Luc pulled her with him, waving to the students, then he glanced at her, giving her a killer smile before raising their joined hands and kissing her fingers.
Jane couldn’t help but smile at him. He’d made her something she was afraid to be, the spotlight, something David had known she’d feared and so he protected her from. Ryder probably feared to push her into just as much attention, even if he was fine with boasting he was with her.
Luc made sure she wasn’t cast aside just because she was confused and overwhelmed. She wasn’t alone because she was a bitchy girl who somehow managed to scare off the bad boy and his sweet brother. He had done what none of them would, and he’d pushed her to confront these things and find out how to rise when all she wanted to do was wither where she had fallen.
Never would she have dreamed this was something she needed in her lonely little life. Even with the greatest guys at her door, she needed something else, and it wasn’t a bad boy to kiss her senseless and make her forget all propriety or the love of her life, it wasn’t her perfect dream boy who she felt inferior to in every way, and it wasn’t a wonderful guy who had a sadder love story than she did. It was finding out how to be great and worthy on her own.
So, Jane owned her hickeys that were visible under the harsh gym lights, she owned being at Luc’s side when Diane clung to David’s arm, while rumors about her and Ryder were freshly being spread around, and while Tercero was absent and unmissed by all but her.
She beamed up at Luc before gesturing for him to begin his speech. When he didn’t, she leaned forward, giggling as she said into the microphone, “There you have it, Black Hills, even the great king can drop the ball for the first time.”
The whispers turned to cheers and whistles, and Luc chuckled, kissing her temple then put a hand on her lower back and addressed the school as if they were his army preparing for an epic battle. And Jane, well, she was the girl at his side, supporting him.
“So, I miss one day,” Wendy said as she dropped her backpack on the floor in their class, the last one of the long day, “and you’ve gone from being Ryder Godson’s lunch conquest, Tercero Godson’s best friend, and David’s estranged stepsister, to Luc Godson’s queen, who is guest attending the big game. The guest coin flipper, no less.”
“Luc is flipping the coin, not me.” Jane calmly pulled out her assignment and iPad to take notes.
“Excuse me.” Wendy chuckled, taking out her own materials. “The hickeys? Are they really from Ryder?”
“One is. The other is from David,” Jane said, not too quietly either.
Wendy’s eyes nearly popped out of her head as a few gasps greeted her ears. “David?” she hissed. “Are you serious?”
Jane nodded, turning to her good friend. “We kinda confessed to having feelings for each other, made out, and then I said I needed time. I was sorta definitely feeling things for Ryder, and it didn’t feel right starting anything with David when I had his rival on my mind. Not to mention the other stuff David came clean about.”
“And now you’re Luc’s girlfriend? All in one day?” Wendy wasn’t being very quiet, but Jane didn’t care. Let David see she could handle it.
“I’m not sure what we are, except he said, ‘I’m his’.”
She smiled at the thought of him. He’d been there to take her to lunch, just like he’d said. He took her to her favorite seafood restaurant where he had already preordered her favorite meal. He explained he’d asked her mom that morning what her favorite place to eat when she was down, and she’d been shocked and touched that her mom remembered this was the place where her dad used to take her. It was the same place she refused to go with David’s dad, or anyone.
She’d loved it so much, that she kissed Luc on the cheek as a thank you, very aware that she’d brushed the corner of his mouth when she did so.
“You’re insane,” Wendy said, bringing her back to Earth.
“No, just figuring out who I am.” Jane scanned the room. Lots of students had been discreetly listening, and she smiled confidently. So what if they wanted to judge her? She didn’t even know them, and they didn’t know her. After they graduated, she probably won’t even recognize them on the street, and she sure as hell wouldn’t care what they thought of her as an emotional teen torn between some dreamy boys.
“And who you want, apparently. What’s this about the cops being called because you and Ryder were fucking at Nirvana Cafe?”
Jane held Wendy’s stare, knowing her friend wasn’t being nasty or judgmental. “Does it matter if I was?”
Her friend smiled, hugging her. “Babe, you bang whichever sexy bastard you want. It’s not my business. Just be safe and don’t regret it.”
And here, Jane realized she’d had another best friend the whole time, one she’d kept at arm’s length because she feared to lose her just as she’d lost David. “Thank you.” Jane squeezed her back.
Wendy nodded, moving Jane’s hair as she inspected the hickeys. “Well, I’d say I envy you, but I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. Who can choose between those gods? And being Luc’s queen? Even if it’s a one-day thing, you better keep owning it. I almost spat my water on the girl in front of me when you spoke into the mic.”