Thaumatology 12: Vengeance

by Niall Teasdale

  ‘Well,’ Lily replied, ‘my father is a Lorril. I thought you knew that.’

  Colbert looked over at the smiling man seated on the other side of Lily. ‘Oh, uh, yes. I meant… uh… dangerous ones?’

  ‘Lorril are quite powerful demons, young man,’ Faran told him, ‘however, we are less inclined to rip out people’s throats. The det Lilith made reference to are generally not quite so power-hungry as the higher demons. Frankly, humans are probably more dangerous to them than they would be to you.’

  ‘The Realm’s technology is basically Dark Age level,’ Ceri said. ‘They have magic, but det are no more magically talented than a normal human so they can’t work it here. We, on the other hand, have more sophisticated technology which they simply won’t understand. We have guns.’

  ‘We should add technology control to the list of things to discuss,’ Lily said. ‘If some Lord gets his people armed with machine guns…’ Ceri grimaced at the thought.

  Colbert’s mind was on other things. ‘The, uh, det you brought over to check, they didn’t leave the house did they?’

  ‘She was on the roof for a while,’ Lily replied, ‘but we weren’t going to risk the press seeing her.’

  The Junior Minister nodded. ‘Good. If everything works out the way we expect, it seems logical to consider this place as the Consulate for the Realm. Basically that means she didn’t leave the Realm when she came here.’ He gave Ceri a small, slightly timid, smile. ‘I understand there are tax advantages. Aside from anything else, they won’t ask you to declare your income from, uh… your other job.’

  ‘Useful,’ Ceri replied wryly. ‘I need that money to run things over there, not to pay tax over here. You know, you’re talking like this is all a foregone conclusion…’

  Colbert said nothing for a second and then turned to the woman sitting behind him with a laptop. ‘May, if you would stop taking minutes for a moment.’

  ‘Of course, sir,’ May replied, and pointedly closed her laptop. ‘Consider my fingers to be in my ears,’ she added, her lips curling slightly. A civil servant with a sense of humour, who knew?

  ‘We’re under some pressure to make this work,’ Colbert said, lowering his voice as though he might be heard outside somehow. ‘We know that Otherworld is ahead of us on negotiations to start trade with the Realm, and we’ve had a number of departments, ministries, and other agencies coming to us with ideas which could be extremely fruitful or just useful.’ He gave them a wide-eyed, amazed look. ‘Someone at the BBC has put together a budget proposal for doing an “Overseas” broadcast service there.’

  ‘They don’t have radios,’ Ceri pointed out.

  ‘The proposal includes costs for manufacturing and distributing low-power radios using the transducer technology you and Doctor Tennant invented.’

  Ceri opened her mouth, closed it, and then opened it again to say, ‘Cheryl invented the transducer, I just helped with the testing and designed the Battersea generator. Smaller assemblies could power small electrical devices in the field over there. That’s damn clever. Could you ask whoever came up with that to drop by the LMU some time?’

  ‘I’ll have the message passed along. The point is… Well, the more the Cabinet considers this, the more they see advantages in it. There are worries, obviously, but the fact that the Overlord of All Demons is a human suggests that we can likely avoid a full-scale invasion as long as we don’t annoy you. The Fae, on the other hand, could be an issue. They’re independent, and if they have access to the magical wealth of the Realm on top of their own power… We could end up like Ireland.’

  Ceri thought that a little unlikely, but a little pressure to move things along could not hurt. She turned to Lily, pulling herself up straight. ‘Lilith?’ she said, putting some firm authority in her voice.

  ‘Yes, Shivika Ayasha?’ Lily replied, picking up on the shift in position.

  ‘We are inclined to accelerate negotiations. Perhaps the humans would like to push forward an announcement of the diplomatic overtures, declare the creation of a Consulate, and iron out the details of trade agreements and the like following that. It would allow their commercial agents to be involved in the treaties prior to signing, and permit demons to become involved directly.’

  Lily nodded, grinning. ‘The Overlord is most wise,’ she said. ‘I will pass this proposal to the human representative so that he can discuss it with his superiors.’

  Colbert almost laughed. Instead he turned to May. ‘Did you get all that, or does Lily actually have to say it all again for you to minute?’

  May opened her laptop. ‘I think I can doctor the minutes appropriately. I’ll make you both sound good, don’t worry.’

  ‘She’s good,’ Ceri commented as May began typing. ‘You don’t want a job “overseas,” do you, May?’

  ‘Please, Doctor Brent,’ Colbert said wearily, ‘don’t poach my staff with offers of work in another dimension.’

  Holloway.

  ‘You think they’ll agree?’ Cheryl asked, sounding a little eager. ‘I mean, if they do we can go ahead with the Australian project far more easily. The American one would be simpler if we could get demons to place the pylons at Trinity. We could maybe even invite Aktik and Brebbam over to the Thaumatology Conference this year!’

  ‘Slow down, boss,’ Ceri replied, grinning. ‘Yes, I think they’ll go for it, but you may be going a little fast.’

  ‘Why?’ Cheryl replied. ‘The engineering projects are crying out for people able to handle large amounts of thaumic energy, and demons are as immune to Wild Magic as you are. Inviting some of the theorists over would demonstrate that sharing knowledge can have advantages. You told them that they should let people study magic. Now it’s time to demonstrate why.’

  Ceri frowned. It made sense, of course. It was just that… ‘It’s all going too fast.’

  ‘I suppose it is, in a way. You’ve got good people to help you, though. You don’t have to do everything yourself. I know you feel some responsibility for the demons, having put on the crown, but no one rules even a country alone. You’re dealing with a whole world. You’re allowed to have assistance.’

  ‘Lily does say I’m a bit of a control freak.’

  ‘And she’s right, but you’re also intelligent enough to know your limitations. When we’ve got the conference sorted, I’m sure Gwyn would help…’

  Gwyn had been keeping quiet at a computer perched on the corner of Cheryl’s desk. She looked up at the sound of her name, however. ‘I might be willing to accept an advisory role,’ she said.

  ‘I was thinking you could just run things and I could take the credit,’ Ceri suggested.

  ‘No you weren’t, dear,’ Gwyn replied blandly. ‘You are too much of a control freak for that. I’d say you got it from me, but I think tens of thousands of years of separation have likely diluted my effect on your personality. You’ll have to blame your parents.’

  ‘My Dad,’ Ceri stated. ‘This is a man who made his daughter practically invisible to boys to save her virtue.’

  ‘Perhaps a little extreme, I agree, but you know what boys are like: only after one thing.’

  ‘Yes,’ Cheryl agreed. ‘Thankfully they never grow out of it.’

  Soho, May 8th.

  Wednesday was a pack night, but under the circumstances, which were ‘rushed,’ Michael had agreed to let that slide and go to the Tir inna Nok with Ceri. He had not seemed particularly unhappy about it, actually, possibly because he was a man, and he had not grown out of appreciating attractive women strutting around in barely any clothing.

  Ceri was sitting at the end of the bar away from the fairy tables, dressed in one of her skimpier teddies and a skirt which barely covered her behind; well Michael had agreed to come out with her and she felt obliged to dress appropriately. She was actually there, however, to talk to Carter.

  ‘You’ve got people you use to handle the press, right?’ she asked.

  ‘Several,’ Carter replied. ‘There is an advertising c
ompany which handles the media for publicity on my clubs, and I have a small PR firm which handles my personal image. Are you thinking that you need something like that?’

  ‘Well… Ayasha probably does. This whole “Demon Overlord” thing is going to take some image management. The more immediate issue, however, is that the Foreign Office has agreed to push ahead with the diplomatic relations thing. On Friday they’re going to issue a press statement and they want me to hold a press conference in the new Demon Realm Consulate.’

  ‘You have a consulate?’

  ‘Yeah, you’ve been there. I call it “home.”’

  ‘Ah,’ Carter said, frowning. ‘I suppose that does make sense given that it’s secure and you have the only portal. It would seem to present some issues…’

  ‘Uh-huh. They’re currently talking to the Home Office about whether the Diplomatic Protection Group or the Greycoats should handle external security. I’m going to have uniformed officers outside my house full time!’

  ‘That’s going to make your birthday parties a little strange.’

  Ceri gave him a grimace. ‘Luckily, that’s the one time of the year when they’ll probably not be there.’

  ‘Yes, but we may have to bring our passports.’ He gave her a grin. ‘I’m sure it won’t be too horrible. You need some help in arranging the press conference, I take it?’

  ‘Uh-huh. It needs to go well. I need to make sure I’m not saying anything stupid or coming across as… Well, as the Overlord of All Demons.’

  ‘I’ll talk to Philip and Jan. It’s short notice, but I think they’ll jump at something like this. Publicity agents need publicity as well.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Ceri replied, really meaning it.

  ‘My pleasure, Ceridwyn. I’m happy to help where I can.’

  ‘Cheryl talked to you about my tendency to take everything on myself, didn’t she?’

  ‘She may have mentioned it in passing. Now, go sit with your mate before he gets picked up by that rather buxom blonde.’

  ‘Oh, Michael’s a one-bitch wolf,’ Ceri said, but she put on her best strut as she walked back to the other end of the bar where Michael was sitting, just in case.

  Kennington, May 9th.

  January Shaft was a petite, slim woman with a cap of dark brown hair, who somehow managed to have far more presence than her size and looks suggested she should have. Ceri watched her as much as listening, trying to determine how she was doing it without magic.

  There were the eyes. She had bright, blue eyes which she emphasised with just enough make-up to highlight them. She was, Ceri suspected, a master of the carefully applied cosmetic. Her lips were reddened just enough that they seemed natural while standing out. Her posture was up to the standard of Mei and Gwyn. Her back was held straight, her chest a little forward. She was not over-endowed, but she knew how to use what she had. When she stood still, one leg was always a little forward of the other. When she sat she crossed her legs. She had good legs and Ceri imagined that she never went out in public without a skirt. Her clothes fitted perfectly, and were stylish and business-like.

  She regarded Ceri and Lily carefully once the situation had been explained to her, her lips pursed thoughtfully.

  ‘All right, let me get this out of the way before we start,’ she said. ‘I realise you’re using my husband and I because you know Carter and could get his recommendation, but it really is quite the honour to be let in on this and asked to help. Obviously we’ll be getting publicity for ourselves out of it, but we wanted to thank you for the work.’

  ‘Uh… thank you for agreeing to do it,’ Ceri replied. ‘I really need the help. I do have a budget as well, if you don’t mind being paid in demon gold.’

  January’s eyebrows went up, but she waved the comment away. ‘If we’re going to be doing more work for you, then we’ll arrange something. For Friday we’re doing it pro bono. As I said, we’ll get the prestige of handling it. Just out of interest, what’s the difference between gold and demon gold?’

  Ceri smiled. ‘I looked this up. Crown gold is twenty-two carat, about ninety-two per cent pure. Demon gold is only ninety per cent, but there’s more silver in it than in crown gold. Technically it’s a form of electrum. Should still fetch a fair price.’

  ‘Interesting. Now, first things first, stop hesitating. You’re an intelligent, powerful woman, and believe me when I say we could do with more of those around. Act like it.’

  ‘Well…’ Ceri began, and January’s eyes narrowed. Ceri pulled herself up straighter. ‘I don’t want to come over as some kind of super-powered, demonic empress. I need to work in this world as well as the other one.’

  ‘Agreed, but tomorrow you’re representing your Realm. You need to put on a big show for the announcement. We can arrange some more personal interviews after. You know Karen Mitchem, don’t you?’

  ‘She’s interviewed me a couple of times. Her boyfriend was killed in the Witch Hunter incident and we took care of her after that.’

  ‘Good, she can do something more personal and sympathetic. You can show you’re just like the woman people remember from that Stonehenge speech then. You’re already a celebrity, Doctor Brent, we just need to let people in on how much of a celebrity you really are.’

  ‘It’s Ceri,’ Ceri said almost automatically.

  ‘And I’m Jan,’ January replied. ‘Tomorrow, however, I’ll be calling you Lady Ayasha because I expect to see her wrapping the press around her little finger.’

  Castle of Bones.

  Ceri sat in her new chair in her private chambers with Naton occupying the much larger seat opposite. Aja and Pansh flanked him, though Ceri had insisted on them sitting down on a couple of padded stools which she had had brought in.

  ‘This is a semi-informal meeting,’ Ceri told them, ‘and I’m not that big on formalities anyway. You sit, because I’m going to ask you some personal questions. This is Ayasha talking to colleagues, not Lady Ayasha talking to subordinates. Clear?’

  ‘We can accept the distinction, Overlord,’ Naton stated. ‘You understand that we consider you our superior no matter what the circumstances, however.’

  ‘I know. This is going to be unusual, so I want your honest thoughts on the matter.’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Okay, as you know, I’ve been talking to the humans about diplomatic matters. I’m going to be hosting a “press conference,” and I know you don’t know what that means… Think of it as an audience for people on Earth who will spread word of what’s happening.’ She got three nods in response and went on. ‘I’ve been advised to be very… open about things. I’ll be doing my full Lady Ayasha routine with Lilith and Faran at my sides. I would like you three to come to Earth to act as my honour guard.’

  Naton did not even hesitate. ‘If this is an official matter for the Overlord, we would be offended if you did not have us there,’ he said. ‘We would, of course, accept your judgement on the matter, but our entire purpose is the safety of the Overlord.’

  ‘I think I’ll be safe enough,’ Ceri told him, smiling. ‘The thing is… Over there this crown doesn’t affect demons the way it does here. It’s just an enchanted lump of metal. You’ll be seeing me as I am without the crown…’

  ‘The crown,’ Pansh said, which surprised Ceri because he rarely spoke, ‘grants you power over us, but that is not why we serve. The crown proves that you are the Overlord, the rightful heir to Gorefguhadget’s throne. With or without it, we would walk through pits of burning sulphur for you.’

  Aja gave a nod, her fangs showing as she grinned. ‘My taciturn colleague has the right of it, Lady. The Dakishodet are loyal to the one who wears the crown, not to the power of the crown.’

  Naton said nothing. He really did not need to say anything.

  ‘Okay,’ Ceri said, still a little shocked. ‘I’ll keep that in mind for other official functions, though I’m hoping not to have too many.’

  ‘You dislike formalities,’ Naton said. ‘As a soldier, I
can understand that.’

  ‘One last thing then. You’re not going to understand what’s going on. I’ll be speaking English, not Devotik. There are going to be flashing lights and a lot of people shouting questions, and it’s going to seem dangerous. Unless someone comes running at me with a dagger, just assume I’m not in any danger.’

  Naton smiled. ‘Aja, tell the Lady what you told me.’

  ‘I have an unusually precise magical sense for a det,’ Aja said, managing to look a little embarrassed, ‘and when I saw you I sensed the power in you beyond the power of the crown. I told Naton that you probably did not need our protection.’

  ‘Huh,’ Ceri replied. ‘Well I had a fight recently which says otherwise. Physical threats can be a problem, and there are some threats to the way I want things to go which the Left Hand are particularly suited to helping me with. You’re needed. Aside from anything else, I’m not going to pass on any help I can get. Now then, let’s talk a few details. We don’t have much time to prepare for this and we need to put on a good show.’

  Kennington, May 10th.

  Chairs had been set up in the hall of High Towers, but there were still several cameramen and reporters standing around the edges of the room. The Foreign Office had made an announcement that a press conference there would be followed by an official statement, and there were plenty of rumours flying around, but no one had any solid idea of what was going on. All they knew was that something big was happening and every newspaper and every radio and TV station knew that they had to be there to report on the events live.

  A hush fell over the room as January walked down to the small landing at the midway point on the stairs. She paused for a second and then spoke.

  ‘Ladies and gentlemen, in a moment we’ll be starting this press conference. I’m January Shaft and I’m here to set a few rules because this is likely to be the most unusual press call you have ever attended. No matter what happens, please remain seated, or where you are standing. We will be taking some questions following the announcement. Further requests can be made through myself or my partner at Shaft Presentation. The Foreign Office will be issuing their own statement following ours. Any questions?’