The Codex: An Angel's Guide To Seducing A Human

by Joe Duck

  Everything around me stilled for a moment as Pannaxx opened his jaws and a stream of crimson fire flowed out.

  Instinctively, I folded my wings, and we plunged, the wind whipping Emily’s hair against my cheeks.

  An instant later, a pillar of flames shot right over me and singed my hair.

  Emily screamed and clutched my hands.

  Realizing we had escaped, Pannaxx closed his mouth and folded his wings. He fell, accelerating and looming towards us with every heartbeat. His talons stretched out, the dirty claws only a sliver away from plunging into my wings.

  Left with the choice of escape or having my wings skewered, I opened my wings. Air slammed against them and dragged me to an abrupt halt. I jolted in pain, and my hands on Emily’s stomach slipped upwards until I got hold of her again.

  Thankfully, Pannaxx fell past us, unable to halt his descent.

  I sighed with relief and caught my breath.

  Emily wiggled and shuddered, the backs of her ears turning crimson. “Stop groping me, you pervert!”

  My, my. Narius you sly pigeon, you've grown bold, the Codex whispered.

  Unsure on what I had done wrong, I wiggled my hands, trying not to drop her as I made my hands move down her body, but Emily kept squirming, forcing me to stop and hold on. “Don’t move. I am almost there—"

  A blue tail came out of nowhere, headed straight for my face. I tried to jerk myself to the left, but it was too late. The mace-like tail lashed my right wing. The impact spun me out of control. We plummeted, the wind howling, my view of the ground flipping as I struggled to steady us.

  Then with a stroke of luck, I righted myself and regained some of my bearing. The ground was still growing at an alarming rate, and I poured all my magic to slow our descent.

  It wasn’t enough.

  To keep Emily from scraping against the ground, I swiveled around to my back and crashed. We skidded across the grass. My wings screamed in pain as my back pushed them against the dirt. Then, something snapped and I saw nothing but darkness.

  When my vision returned to me, we had come to a halt, but I couldn’t move. Pain grabbed hold of my wings and paralyzed the rest of my body. Everything hurt so much.

  Emily untangled herself from my arms and rose to her feet. Clutching her staff, she faced the dragon hovering above us with the breeze from his beating wings lifting her hair.

  Emily glanced back at me and bit her lip. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.”

  “What… about your quest?”

  “Later. I’ll deal with him later. I’m not going to have nightmares over you.” She put my arm around her shoulder and lifted me to my feet.

  Agony stabbed through my wings and my useless legs dragged behind me. I looked at my broken wings twisted in parts and covered in dirt. "I... I can't fly."

  “Quiet.” Emily's trembling fingers tightened around the staff. “If we can’t escape, we’ll just have to turn him into pulp.” But despite her courageous words, Emily’s legs quivered. Still, she began chanting a spell, every syllable visibly draining her strength, and sparks of excess magic flew from her staff like bolts of lightning.

  “So this is how it ends. Pity,” Pannaxx said, touching down onto the ground and gathering his own magic into his maw.

  Emily growled in response. "Not for me."

  To my horror, each of them displayed an overwhelming amount of magic, enough to obliterate a small portion of the Great Library. This is crazy. One of them is going to die.

  Then stop them, Codex said.

  Summoning all my strength, I moved my hand to lower Emily’s staff, but my shoulder spasmed, and I smacked her face instead.

  The magic in her staff died.

  Pannaxx, seeing Emily’s spell break, halted his magic and watched us with amusement.

  With blood dripping from her nose, Emily scowled. “What are you doing?” She tried to shake me off, but I leaned my weight against her, forcing her to plant her staff into the ground to keep her balance.

  I wrapped my hands around her, and with my last remaining power, healed her nose. “No. This isn’t right. There has to be another way.”

  “What?” she shouted without bothering to wipe her nose. “Do you know how much harm he’ll do if I don’t stop him? He’ll terrorize the village until everyone is dead!”

  Pannaxx snorted a jet of flames. “I have not ‘terrorized’ any human village.”

  “You wiped out their cattle!”

  The dragon puffed out a cloud of smoke. “You humans wiped out the bison to make room for those gullible creatures you call ‘cows.’ I took what I required to survive, aside from those that I may have accidentally burnt.”

  Emily glared at the dragon. “Even if you didn’t have much choice, this has to end. You think humans and dragons can live together?”

  Knowing the answer to her question, I covered Emily’s mouth with my hand and said to the dragon. “Do you think she is pretty?”

  “What?” Pannaxx tilted his head while Emily mumbled something against my hand.

  “I think she is an attractive human,” I said.

  Emily stopped mumbling and became still.

  “So, would you consider her to be a treasure you’d keep in your lair?”

  Pannaxx rested his head on the ground and narrowed his eyes. “No.”

  “Excellent!” I summoned the Codex into my hand and flipped through the text until arriving at the section that described an aspect of human nature. “'Money is one of the foundations of human society. In many circumstances, money led not only to competition between races, but also to cooperation, even with historically hostile races like orcs, ogres and trolls.'"

  Narius, Codex whispered. I don’t know what you are doing, but can you handle this on your own? I am going to try to make sure you don’t fall unconscious from the pain.

  I will. Thank you.

  The Codex disappeared from my mind, and immediately the pain simmered down enough for me to concentrate.

  Emily licked my hand, making me shudder and move my hands to free her lips. “What does that have to do with anything?" she asked with an unflattering scowl. "And why did you ask him if I was pretty?”

  I ignored her and spoke to the dragon. “Have you considered trading with the humans? If you bought the cows, they wouldn't have sent an ill-tempered looter to hurt you.”

  Pannaxx tapped the ground with his claw and groaned. “I wish I could. I do not enjoy taking another’s hoard without a fair fight. But a month ago, a band of adventurers stole everything I had while I was away trying to lure a mate into my den. Perhaps your human knows more.”

  Emily shrank, her face crimson. “I-I just heard some stories that a group had made off with some junk, but not from a dragon.”

  “Will you let him go if he stops terrorizing the villagers?” I asked.

  Emily bit her lip and stared at the ground, then gave a hesitant nod. “The contract stated that I just had to stop the attacks. But hey, don’t get any ideas. That’s not going to—"

  “Great.” A smile formed on my lips, and I read another passage from the Codex. “'Throughout history, dragons took human princesses from their natural habitat to fondle or to sell, the latter often resulting in the kidnapper acquiring a mountain of gold.' So, since you are willing to trade with the humans, and don’t want to fondle Emily, maybe you could kidnap a princess and sell her.”

  Pannaxx lifted his head. “Interesting. How do I tell these princesses apart from other humans?”

  I rubbed the back of my head and flipped through a few pages to the section that described the princess.

  It was too long, with countless pictures of them in tattered clothing, so I skimmed through the details and summarized. “Well, they enjoy spending time in high towers and brushing their hair.” I scratched my head. “Also they often have their hearts stolen by peasants. Though it doesn’t say why anyone would want to do that. But that’s not the point. We just have to abduct a princess—"

 
; Emily stomped on my foot, making me yelp and loosen my hold on her. “You can’t just kidnap a princess. That's wrong.”

  “How about abducting random humans off the road and holding them for ransom?” I offered.

  She turned her head and glowered, the blood on her nose still glistening. “You do realize that I’m here to make sure he doesn’t cause trouble right? Not turn him into a fire-breathing highwayman.”

  With all of my brilliant ideas extinguished, I searched through the Codex for an answer until I came across the sketch of the roasted tuna. “What about a fish? Could you abduct a fish?”

  Pannaxx gave me a blank look.

  “I mean, you could travel to the coast and carry the fresh fish inland where it costs more.”

  The dragon scratched his chin. “Why would something be worth more in a different location?”

  I shrugged. “Humans are strange. I think Emily said a fish on the coast was worth a copper while the one here would be worth a silver. So, if you could carry hundreds of fish every day, you would be sleeping on a pile of gold in less than a month.”

  “A pile of gold, you say?” Pannaxx mused, his tail wagging through the grass. “But if I am busy transporting goods, how will I prevent another band of sticky-fingered humans from stealing my treasure?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe you could bury it?"

  Emily squatted and gently lowered me to the ground then wiped the blood off her nose. “You could use a bank,” she said, stretching her arms.

  “A what?” Pannaxx and I asked together.

  “A place where humans store their money.”

  The dragon squinted. “Why would I trust a human to keep my treasure safe?”

  “Because a bank is bound by law to provide its services to any creature…” With that Emily began to explain what the bank was and how it worked. In turn, Pannaxx asked her questions about it that led them to fuss about the various aspects of my plan.

  I tried to add my thoughts, but every time, Emily explained my ideas better than I could. Eventually, I gave up and watched them argue how Pannaxx could barter for his fish from the local fishermen without scaring them. Figuring that they could do without me, I stayed still, trying not to move my broken wings that ached even when a gentle breeze brushed against them.

  Narius

  By the time they worked things out, it was getting dark. The sun hung over the horizon and cast shadows that darkened the plains.

  Pannaxx opened his wings. “Thank you. I have learned much today. Now, if the two of you do not mind, I shall be on my way to find a fishing boat.”

  Emily placed her hand on her hip and tapped her staff against his scales. “You better not cause any trouble.”

  “You have my word.”

  She closed her eyes and sighed. “I wish I had more than just your word.”

  I tsked and wagged my finger at her ignorance. “Dragons are honorable creatures. He’ll keep his promise.”

  Pannaxx nodded, and flapped his leathery wings. “Thank you, servant of Halfaya. We shall meet again. Until then, may you sleep in a warm cave filled with gold.”

  “Don’t do anything to upset the other humans, or she will be back!” I shouted.

  Pannaxx chuckled and flew off.

  Once the dragon was nothing more than a speck on the sky, Emily, with her lips pressed into a thin line and eyes cast down, murmured, “I’m glad we could settle this in a peaceful way.”

  I folded my arms and smiled. “What do you mean ‘we’? It was all me.”

  Emily’s eyes twitched. “Regardless, the job’s done.” She shrugged. “Ha. Who knew you’d actually be useful.”

  I mimicked her gesture and shrugged. “Ha. Who knew you’d be scared of a dragon.”

  “What?”

  “I saw you shaking the whole time. Lucky for you, I was here to save you.”

  Emily smiled, gripped my left wing and squeezed.

  My bones cracked, and I screamed, the once dull pain now agonizing.

  The violent human let out a short grunt and snapped my left wing back into place. My bones cracked like a whip, and I cried out, collapsing to the ground with a soft thud.

  My eyes watered and salty tears caressed my lips. “Why?” I croaked. “Why?”

  She patted my right wing. “Don’t worry. I’ve set wings on birds before.”

  “Hold on. I am not a bird. I am—"

  She tugged.

  The bones on my other wing snapped into place. I moaned and found the ground hugging my face. As I lay there, my wings trembled from shivers of pain. “How… could you? After everything we’ve been through.”

  Emily squatted next to me and smirked. “Then you should have healed them while the dragon and I were chatting.”

  I shook my head. “We can’t heal our own bodies. Only others.”

  “Really? Then more reason for me to set your wings.” Emily waved her staff in the air, and a ball of light dropped on top of my head. I glanced at the round object hovering over me that drove away the dying twilight. It looked similar to the halo mother wore.

  I look just like an Archangel. I smiled, the wonderful thought of my distant future lifting my lips and dulling the pain.

  Tossing her staff to the grass, Emily sat down and hugged her knees. “Narius, I was wrong.”

  “Of course you were.”

  She pinched my wings and made me squirm.

  Sighing, she released my wing. “Narius, I never even considered talking to the dragon.” Emily buried her face in her knees. “I should have listened to you,” she squeaked. “I-I was wrong, and what I’m trying to say is—"

  “You will repent your evil ways and become a decent human?”

  The unrepentant human smacked me on the head. “Forget it.”

  As I grasped my head tenderly, she humphed. “Now be quiet. I’m going to sleep. Unlike someone here, I used all my magic.”

  I wanted to tell her that I was spent as well, but before I had the chance, she lay back on the grass, arms and legs spread wide, and closed her eyes. Soon after, she began snoring.

  Unable to follow suit thanks to the dull pain from my injured wings, I took the glowing ball off my head and set it on the ground next to her. Rising to my feet, I stared at the gems that filled the sky above for a long time, tracking their movement across the heavens.

  Do you miss home already? Codex asked. It’s only been two days.

  I searched the skies, wondering if anyone was looking down at me. Of course I do, and now that I’ve kept my promise to Emily, I am going to leave her.

  Ha! I doubt that. You are worried about her.

  No, I am not. I glanced at the human, bathed in the light from the warm glowing ball with a bit of drool escaping her mouth. My heart warmed. She looked so beautiful, her face seemed to glisten and streaks of blue shimmered in her long, black hair.

  I shook my head, unable to believe how I could think a drooling human could be pretty. Emily will be fine.

  Do you realize you are calling her by her name rather than just ‘human’?

  I flinched. That… that doesn’t mean anything.

  You’re also watching her sleep like a stalker. Not to mention that if you wanted to leave, you would have done it already. Go on. Walk away.

  Well… Well… Maybe not right now. It's late, and I am just standing guard for her. Besides, Lord Halfaya would be disappointed if I leave a "human" alone at night. It’s dangerous. I... I will leave at dawn.

  The Codex giggled. Right… I bet when she realizes that you've stayed behind she will be overjoyed and try to hump you.

  Hump?

  Just a form of handshake. But more importantly, haven’t you seen how many signals she’s been sending your way? Batting her eyelashes like a social butterfly? Personally, I think she is trying too hard. Must be her first time.

  Fighting a dragon?

  Oh, I’m sure she would be delighted to see your dragon…

  I have a dragon?

  The Codex giggl
ed. Why don’t you stay and find out?

  Narius

  Cold fingers shook my shoulders. My wings twitched to push the hand away, but that only brought piercing pain. With my sleep vanishing into the farthest parts of my mind, I slowly opened my eyes.

  Emily stood over me, her face uncomfortably close to mine.

  Sitting up, I dragged my butt across the ground away from her and slapped the Codex. Why didn’t you wake me?

  Oops. What a tragedy. I shall inform Lord Halfaya of my grand betrayal.

  Emily grasped my hand and pulled me to my feet. “Come on, it’s a long walk back.”

  “I could fly you back.”

  “With your mangled up wings? I don’t think so.”

  I glanced back at my aching wings. Deciding they could use a rest, I followed her. Just so she wouldn’t feel lonely on the road.

  After hours of trekking across the sea of grass, we arrived back at the inn. The humans inside welcomed us and celebrated our return from killing the dragon, but fell silent when Emily explained what had happened.

  Too tired to take part in the conversation, I collapsed onto a wooden chair in front of the man with whom I had traded for the key yesterday.

  He smiled and offered me a tankard of water, then returned to combing his hair.

  Just as I had drunk two glasses to quench my thirst, Emily settled in next to me. She coughed and rapped her knuckles against the wooden table to get the attention of the innkeeper. “Pay me.”

  The man smiled. “I don’t think so. From what I heard, you didn’t kill the dragon. But good job on getting rid of Pannaxx.”

  Emily struck her staff against the floor, freezing the board beneath her feet. “The contract said to take care of him, and I did. Now hand over the page before I freeze something valuable.”

  The man’s eyes drifted towards the floor board. He groaned and reluctantly brought out a small box from under the counter. “This is robbery.”

  Emily grinned mischievously. “Not my problem,” she said, laying her hand on the cover to pop it open.

  A lock clicked but the lid refused to open.

  She glared at the man and tapped away at the top of the box. “What are you trying to pull here? Give me the key.”