by K. A. Linde
Liz cringed. “I was afraid you might say that.”
“Why do you look like that’s the worst thing I could say?”
“I know the business is who you know rather than what you know, but I want to make it on my own merit.”
“Liz,” he groaned. “I’ve destroyed your chance at the New York Times; you can at least oblige me the chance to help fix it.”
“This is why I didn’t tell you over the phone. I want to do this on my own, prove it to myself. Professor Mires encouraged me to take this in stride, and said that sometimes one closed door means another one opens. As much as I appreciate your help and know it’s coming from a good place, I want to open my own door.”
“Okay, but if doors remain closed, you’ll let me help?” he pleaded. “At least promise me that. I want to help.”
“All right. If nothing works out, then we’ll try it your way.”
She hoped that time would never come.
Chapter 13
MAKING AMENDS
Liz spent the next three weeks working away on her final term paper for her internship and managed to get it to Professor Mires on the Friday before spring break. She hoped it was everything that she expected of her, but turning in a first draft always made her anxious.
Professor Mires thumbed through the large document and nodded her head. “This looks great. I’ll read through it over spring break and get it back to you on Tuesday during class.”
“Sounds good. Thank you,” Liz said with a smile. “Have you heard anything from your graduate school contacts?”
“Ah, yes,” she said, standing and rifling through some paperwork. “Here are a list of places that you should apply. They’ll be looking out for your application. I would recommend including the project that you presented at the colloquium last spring as your writing sample. It was superb.”
Liz took the list and scanned it. Five places. Out of all the graduate programs she was down to five choices, and that was only if they accepted her late admittance. Missouri, Northwestern, Columbia, Maryland, and American University. At least two of them were in or near D.C.; that wasn’t terrible odds.
Brady flew her to D.C. for the week of spring break, since she didn’t have to be in New York City for her internship. As disappointed as she was about not working with the New York Times, it was a dream to spend an entire week with Brady. No interruptions. No rushed meetings. No secrets whatsoever. Just the two of them together every second they could be.
She got to see his office and meet the staff. Heather actually managed to act like a normal human being, even though it was clear that they were still on rocky ground. Elliott took her on a tour of the Rayburn building, where Brady’s office was located. Liz and Elliott joked and laughed while they wandered down the plethora of corridors.
She and Brady had lunch on the steps of the Capitol building. He took her to fancy restaurants and dive bars and rooftop parties. He took her on a tour of old cemeteries. She insisted on peeking in at Hayden’s sister, Jamie’s, latest artwork and sighed in relief when she wasn’t there. They snuggled in bed and watched bad movies over Chinese food. She fell asleep in his lap while he read on his iPad.
And they had sex. Lots of incredible sex. Nearly every morning and every night until her body was sore and satiated. If that was even possible with Brady Maxwell.
The next two months were a wonderful haze of Brady. They fell into an easy routine where every weekend he would fly down to Chapel Hill or she would fly up to D.C. Liz focused on her graduate school applications and the articles she was writing for fun on the side that she had submitted to a few online columns. She also started up regular tennis sessions with Easton. It made her feel better about having so much extra time and kept up her stamina, which she needed when it came to Brady.
Soon she was closing her booklet on her last final exam in her college career. She felt a little sentimental turning it in to her professor and walking out the doors. Campus was quiet. She had one of the last exams of the day, though there were still a few days left in the exam schedule.
This had been her home for the last four years, and it was surreal to think that she would be leaving it behind for . . . whatever was to come in the fall. She stared around at the brick buildings and beautiful landscapes with newfound appreciation. Everything was going to change.
She knew that before she left she had one more place she needed to go: the newspaper office. It was late enough in the afternoon that she hoped everyone would have cleared out by now.
Trekking across campus, she savored the short walk and then took the stairs up to the second floor of the Union. She glanced into the office and saw that it looked deserted. She breathed a sigh of relief and pushed the door open.
She wasn’t sure what had brought her here. She hadn’t set foot inside the office since clearing out her desk after Massey had requested her “temporary leave of absence.” She had barely set foot in the Union for fear of running into anyone from the paper. The only person she still kept in contact with was Savannah and on occasion Tristan, but they had been her A-team from the beginning.
She ran her hands over the desks, most of which had been emptied for the summer, and then she walked to her old office. She and Brady had had sex in that office. She had spent a year of her life working as editor out of that office. It would always feel a bit like it belonged to her.
She toed the door open and took a step back. “Oh, sorry,” Liz whispered, seeing Massey hunched over the desk on her laptop.
“Liz,” Massey said softly, glancing around. “What are you doing here?”
“I was just leaving,” she said, turning to go.
“Wait,” Massey called. She jumped up from her desk and into the open doorway.
Liz stood still and took a deep breath before facing her again. “What’s up?”
“I haven’t seen you since . . . since you left.”
“Left . . .”
“You know what I mean,” Massey said. “How have you been?”
“Keeping myself busy. But I’m sure you guessed that with all the things popping up in papers,” Liz said dismissively. She didn’t want to have this rift in her friendship, and she knew it wasn’t exactly Massey’s fault that Liz had been forced out of the paper. Still, the argument hit too close to home.
Massey cringed at her statement. “Well, I’m glad you’ve been busy. When are you moving to New York?”
It was Liz’s turn to cringe. “I was let go.”
“Oh,” Massey said. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah. It sucks,” Liz found herself admitting.
“I can’t believe they did that.”
“Well, they did.”
“What do you plan to do now?” Massey asked.
Liz shrugged. “Kind of an open game plan. Applying late to grad programs.”
“Can you do that?”
“We’ll see. Professor Mires thinks so.”
“Oh right. She loves you,” Massey said. “If I can get into UVA for the PhD program, then you’re sure to get in anywhere . . . even late admittance.”
“You got in!” Liz cried. “That’s so great.”
“Yeah. I was really excited. So much to do to get ready to go now, though.”
Liz could feel the tension slowly draining out of her. She might be angry with Massey for what had happened, but she was angrier at the system that had made all of this the reality. Not any one person had ruined everything that she had worked toward. It wasn’t fair to pin it all on Massey just because she was an easy target for Liz’s animosity.
“I know what you mean. Victoria and her boyfriend are moving to D.C. over the summer. They both got into Johns Hopkins and are planning to live together when they go to school. Our house looks like a train wreck right now,” Liz told her.
“Victoria and boyfriend in the same
sentence is still weird to me.”
“Join the club, but they’re really serious now.”
“Serious enough to move to D.C. together and get into the same PhD program,” Massey said, shaking her head. “Who knew Victoria would be the first of us to settle down?”
Liz laughed. “No one! But I’m really happy for her. She needed someone like Daniel to keep her ass in line.”
“And if any of us know her, we know he’s probably keeping her ass in line a lot.”
“Oh, God, you’re as bad as she is,” Liz cried, throwing her hands up.
Massey laughed. “So what about you? Are you happy with . . . everything?”
“I’m happy with Brady,” she told her, and then glanced around.
“I’m not working,” Massey said. “It’s all off the record.”
Liz sagged. She was so tired of reporters. She didn’t like being on her guard all the time. “I spend every weekend with him and it’s amazing. We just click. You know?”
Massey got a dreamy look in her eye. “I think I do.”
“Are you dating someone?”
“Oh, no,” she said, shaking her head. “But there is a guy I like. Knowing me, it won’t go anywhere.”
“You should go for it,” Liz encouraged her.
“You’re right. Maybe I will.”
“Well, I should probably get out of here. I just wanted to look at the office one more time,” Liz told her. “Probably sounds stupid.”
“No, it doesn’t. I know exactly what you mean.”
Their eyes met and they both smiled. Everything wasn’t suddenly better between them, but they at least had a chance that it would be. That was good enough for Liz. She was glad she had decided to come to the newspaper after all. Waving good-bye to Massey, she exited the newspaper building feeling just a little bit lighter.
Liz turned the corner to take the stairs and stopped dead in her tracks. She gasped. “Hayden?” She hadn’t seen her ex-boyfriend since he had walked out of her house back in February.
“Hey, Liz,” he said, walking the last few stairs to stand next to her. She took a few steps backward. “You look great.”
“What are you doing here?” she asked numbly.
“I came to see you.”
Liz just stared at him. “You drove all the way to Chapel Hill to see me?”
“It’s not like it’s the first time. I used to do it all the time,” he said with that same stunning smile he’d always had.
Liz really took a look at him. The last time she had seen him he had been messed up from finding out about Brady, outing her to the paper, and then not hearing from her for the weekend. He had looked like a wreck. He didn’t look like a wreck anymore. He was wearing pressed khaki shorts and a baby blue polo. His Ray-Bans were hanging from green Croakies and his hair was perfectly styled, a little shorter than normal. But something was different. It was almost like his hazel eyes seemed . . . sad.
“No, but that was before . . .” Liz mumbled.
“I know, but I just really wanted to talk to you. I haven’t seen you in months.”
“There’s a reason for that,” Liz said, crossing her arms.
“I know that, and I know you’re . . . with him now.” He didn’t seem to be able to say Brady’s name.
“Then why would you think to come here?”
“Because . . . I don’t know, I just wanted to talk to you. I wanted to see you. I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said. “I want to make things better.”
“How did you even know I’d be here?” she asked.
Hayden looked sheepish. “I checked the exam schedule for your classes, but I guess you finished early. I assumed you’d be at the paper. You live at the paper.”
Liz laughed in his face and then covered her mouth. It was a symbol of how much had changed with her that she could even laugh at that fact. “I was forced out.”
Hayden stared at her, stunned. “They kicked you off?”
“Suggested I take a temporary leave of absence,” Liz said, rolling her eyes.
“Because of the article?”
“Yes.”
“Wow, I’m sorry,” he said. Liz could see the pain in his eyes for what he had done. An awkward silence ensued before he spoke up again. “What . . . what have you been doing in the meantime?”
“Basking in the greatness of my new relationship.”
He cringed. “I deserve that.”
“Yeah.”
He took a deep breath, and if it was possible he looked sadder, like someone had just kicked his puppy.
“I think I should go. I’m meeting Savannah for lunch on Franklin. I was just passing through,” she said, walking past him to the stairs. She heard him following her and sighed.
“Do you think I could walk you?” Hayden asked once they reached the bottom.
He wasn’t going to make this easy, was he? “I think I know how to get to Franklin. It’s like a five-minute walk.”
He gave her a knowing look. “Please let me.”
“Why are you pushing this?” she demanded.
“I have to make it right sometime. Might as well start today.”
“You could have made it right by never reporting about what happened, but you didn’t. You told Calleigh and you slapped your name on it. This is worse than that, Hayden.”
“I shouldn’t have done it,” he said, holding his hands up. “I can’t time-travel and change things, but you’re happy now . . . with him. What does it hurt for me to walk the five minutes with you to Franklin?”
“It had better not hurt a damn thing,” she said. She walked to the exit and he kept up with her at an easy pace.
“You really do look nice today, Lizzie.”
Liz shook her head at the nickname. Too many memories flashed before her mind all at once. Their first kiss in D.C., getting together on election night, lying near a waterfall in Hawaii, walking out of the newspaper together every day. They had spent so much time together, and that one nickname brought it all back fresh to her mind.
“Flattery is not accepted,” she said, looking away from him.
“I guess I’m glad I went with nice then instead of gorgeous, because that really would have been flattery.”
“Still not accepted.” She didn’t know how many times Hayden had called her gorgeous when they had dated. He needed to stop bringing up the past. The past was over. Things might be more complicated with Brady than they were with Hayden, but at least when she was with Brady she knew that she didn’t want to be with anyone else. That hadn’t been something she could say while dating Hayden.
He smiled faintly next to her and they started walking toward Franklin Street. It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable. Things with Hayden had always been easy. Her romantic attachment to him had stemmed out of adoration for the way he ran the office, and his charismatic nature. It was only now that she was with Brady that she realized so much of her relationship with Hayden had been an extension of their friendship and less of the passion that came with romance.
That had been fine at the time, but knowing the alternative, it just seemed plain to her now.
“How was your spring break?” Hayden asked after a couple minutes.
“It was nice,” she said. “I spent it in D.C.”
“Ah,” he said, understanding perfectly. “That makes sense. I finally got some time off to visit my parents, and Jamie said she saw you at a gallery exhibit.”
“She did!” Liz gasped. “I didn’t see her.”
“I think she didn’t know what to say.”
“That would be a first,” Liz said.
He smiled. “It would be.”
“Well, maybe I’ll look her up when I’m next in D.C. I don’t want her to feel like she can’t say hi,” she said softly, even though she knew exactly what Jamie
had been feeling.
“I think she’d like that.”
They continued to Top O, where she was meeting Savannah, and then stood together for a couple seconds. Liz wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t want any kind of relationship with Hayden, but it had been nice having a normal conversation. Things would never be how they were before. They couldn’t just erase their relationship or its disastrous ending. Hayden looked as if he wanted to say something more, but he didn’t.
Liz averted her gaze from his searching hazel eyes and finally spoke up. “Well, I should go on up and find Savannah.”
“Yeah. Okay. It was great seeing you.”
Liz bit her lip to keep from responding. It had kind of been nice to see him.
“Do you . . . think we could do this again?” Hayden asked tentatively.
“I don’t know.” Brady would hate for her to see Hayden. She knew how he felt about him. And she didn’t really blame him.
“I’ll be here on Thursday, because I’m covering graduation this weekend for the paper. Maybe we could get coffee or lunch?”
“I don’t know,” she repeated.
“Well, just think about it,” he said, not pressing his luck. “I do want to make this right. And I’d like to see you.”
“Maybe. I’ll get back to you on that.” She was going to have to tell Brady. She didn’t know how much he was going to freak about this, but she hated holding grudges. She would never get over what Calleigh did, but Hayden was a different story. They had both made mistakes in that relationship.
“Giving me some hope. I’ll let you get to Savannah,” he said with a smile before departing.
Liz tried to clear her head as she jogged up to the stairs to Top of the Hill. Savannah was waiting for her at a table overlooking the street. She jumped up when Liz arrived and looked frantic.
“Oh my God, was that Hayden?” Savannah asked immediately.
“Yeah. It was . . . interesting.”
“I can’t believe he would come here to see you.” She took her seat and Liz sat across from her.
“Me either. He said he wants to make amends and that he wants to see me again this week to try to . . . I don’t even know,” she said, struggling to explain. “Maybe apologize?”