by K. A. Linde
“Sounds sneaky. Brady isn’t going to like that.”
Liz nodded. “No . . . he isn’t.”
Chapter 14
AN OKAY PLACE
You did what?” Brady demanded, his tone harsh when she told him later that day that she had run into Hayden.
“He was on campus.”
He paused before responding. “I don’t want him anywhere near you.”
She had been expecting this response. Even if she hadn’t dated Hayden for a year and a half and he hadn’t had sex with her after finding out about Brady, she knew that Brady would hate him. He had always been the jealous type. When she had kissed Hayden two summers ago and told Brady about it, he had freaked out. They were in a much better place than that now, but that didn’t change how he felt about Hayden.
“I know you don’t, but I couldn’t really help it.” She plopped back down on her bed and waited for his response.
“I don’t care. You shouldn’t have let him walk you anywhere.”
“What did you want me to do?” she asked, getting irritated. “Push him down the stairs?”
“It would have been preferable.”
“Maybe, but I mean . . . nothing happened. He just wanted to apologize and make things right.”
Brady sighed. “Liz, that is guy code for he wants you back.”
“No, it isn’t,” she said, sitting up straighter. “Plus, that’s not even an option.”
“Trust me. Him talking to you, stalking you to your class, showing up on campus, trying to apologize means he just wants you back. And frankly, he can’t have you.”
Liz shook her head. Yeah, Hayden had complimented her, but he couldn’t honestly think that she would still be interested in him after what had happened between them. “You know my heart belongs to you.”
“I just don’t like the idea of him being able to get to you,” Brady said. “I can’t be there all the time. I’m not even getting in for graduation until Saturday morning.”
“You don’t have to protect me,” Liz told him earnestly. “It’s just Hayden.”
“You’re talking about the guy who raped you,” Brady whispered.
Liz cringed. She hated that word. She still didn’t relate to it or believe that it had happened. Yes, they’d had sex when she didn’t want to, but she didn’t tell him no or try to stop him. “That word, Brady.”
“I’m just reminding you that he’s not always had good intentions. I don’t want him to hurt you, and the best way for that to happen is for you to just stay away from him.”
“Well, he’s going to be in town this weekend for graduation and wants to get coffee,” she said, laying it out plainly.
“Absolutely not.”
“I wasn’t aware I was asking for permission,” she spat.
“I’m telling you this is a horrible idea. You know it’s a horrible idea. What good is going to come from it? You forgive him for the shit he put you through and suddenly you’re friends again? The world doesn’t work that way.”
“I forgave you for the shit that you put me through!” she yelled back, standing and walking across her room in frustration. “And I never even said I was going to forgive him. I didn’t say anything. I’m just willing to hear out what he has to say.”
“Why? Why must you torture me with this? Hearing out your ex-boyfriend is the last thing that is good for us.”
“You saw and talked to Erin,” Liz pointed out.
“Erin didn’t hurt you!” Brady cried. He was clearly pissed off at this point and it just made her more frustrated. She hadn’t even wanted to see Hayden, but now this whole thing just irritated her.
“Erin made me lose my job! Erin pushed us back into the papers! You flaunted Erin in front of me for a year! She hurt me plenty.”
“Hayden sold us out to the papers in the first place!”
“Just because you want to hurt him doesn’t mean I can’t see him.”
“I do want to hurt him,” Brady admitted. “I hate the guy. He’s a douche bag. He’s unstable. He’s one more thing that kept you away from me. Can’t you see that you shouldn’t be around him?”
“Don’t tell me who I should see. I can make decisions for myself.”
“I’m not telling you! I’m asking you not to see him because it’s fucking stupid, Liz.”
“Glad to know my decisions are fucking stupid,” she grumbled.
“It’s not your decisions that are stupid. It’s just anything that involves him. He’s a parasite. He’s feeding off of your good nature.”
“My ex-boyfriend is a parasite?” Liz asked in disbelief. “You’re really winning your cause.”
“Fine. Go see him. Because that makes perfect sense.”
“I didn’t even want to see him! God!”
“Then why are you pushing this?” he asked, exasperated.
“Because you’re making it seem like I can’t see him if I want to. He didn’t say he wants to get back with me. He said he wants to make things right. If he makes one move or says one thing about wanting to get back with me, I’ll walk out of the building and let you tell me you told me so.”
“I’d rather not have to tell you.”
Liz sighed and tried to see Brady’s side in this. They were finally together and now her ex-boyfriend, who for a long time Brady had thought she had left him for, was trying to come back into the picture. Not so crazy for him to be pissed about it.
“Look, I don’t blame you for feeling like this, but I’m not one of your staffers. I’m your girlfriend.”
“I know you are,” he said with a sigh. “I’m not trying to dictate to you. I’m obviously poorly explaining my position. Let’s hope I do better on the campaign this year. Tell me how to convince you this is a bad idea.”
“Just trust me. If Erin came back to you, apologetic, begging to see you for coffee or lunch to make things right, what would you do? You would see her,” Liz answered for him.
“What would you say if I went?” he asked.
“I’d be insanely jealous, but I’d know that you left her for me and that is what matters. That it’s you and me.”
“Can you and me not include . . . him?”
“It is just you and me, but . . .”
“But?” he prompted.
Liz sighed, trying to mull it over. “I don’t know. If I decide to see him, I don’t want you to be pissed at me.”
Brady cursed under his breath. “You make this damn difficult, woman.”
“Well, you’re not the easiest person to live with either, Congressman.”
“No one ever said I was. But if he hurts you now, I can’t beat the shit out of him like he deserves,” Brady said coldly.
“I’m telling you that Hayden doesn’t want me back and he’s not going to hurt me. If he does want me back, then I’ll hurt him, okay? You have nothing to worry about.”
“I’m not worried about us. I just . . .” Brady paused. “Hold on. Heather is calling.”
“Okay.”
Liz waited on the line for a few minutes, trying to dissect the conversation they’d just had. At first she had thought Brady felt threatened by Hayden, but even the idea of that was preposterous. Even while she had been with Hayden, she had been thinking about Brady.
“Hey, baby, I have to go. Can we continue this conversation tonight?” he asked.
“Sure,” Liz said with a sigh. So much to think about. She wished they could have worked it all out before he had to get off the phone, but maybe it would be good for them to cool down before they got into another argument.
Liz tossed her phone back on her bed and ran her hand back through her hair. The whole conversation had spiraled so far out of control.
Trying to clear her head, she walked into the kitchen, popped open a bottle of red wine, and poured herself a glass. Victor
ia walked in just then and raised an eyebrow.
“Long day?”
“Exams are over,” Liz said, raising her glass and taking a big gulp.
“I can’t believe we’re going to graduate in six days.”
“I can’t believe you’re moving to D.C. right after that.”
Victoria grabbed a glass and started pouring herself some wine. “You’ll be up there all the time anyway with Brady.”
“Yeah. It’s just weird. We’ve lived together for four years.”
“I’d totally go lesbian for you if that’s what you’re getting at,” Victoria said with a wink.
Liz rolled her eyes and laughed. “Hardly.”
“So, who were you on the phone with? I heard some raised voices.”
“Brady,” Liz said, taking another sip. “Hayden showed up on campus today and said he wanted to talk to me.”
“God! Can’t he just leave you alone and not interfere with your life?”
“I don’t know. He just wants to try to make it better.”
Victoria shook her head. “You know how I feel about Lane. I think you should let him suffer.” Liz cringed and drank some more. “Seriously, you just don’t like to see anyone hurting, do you?”
“Not really. I made up with Massey today.”
“Massey is fine. Whatever. She didn’t sell you out to the newspaper,” Victoria said pointedly. “I know you. You’re going to see him, aren’t you?”
“I haven’t decided, but Brady got all pissed off at me.”
“Rightfully so, bitch! Think about it.”
“I have!” she cried. “I’m not rushing into things. I didn’t even really want to see him, but then talking to Brady, I kind of talked myself into it.”
“If you ruin this thing with Brady because of Hayden . . .”
“No! No way. I’m not going there,” Liz said vehemently. “Brady is everything. He’s my past, present, and future. I just kind of want to close the lid on Hayden. It’ll make it easier to stomach everything that happened knowing that we’re in an okay place.”
“He doesn’t deserve an okay place,” Victoria told her.
“Maybe not.”
They stood together like that, going through a couple glasses of wine each. School was officially over and it was strange for both of them having nothing they had to do. They had spent the last four years working endlessly and now it was all coming to a close.
When they lapsed into silence, Liz turned to absentmindedly scroll through her phone. Her thoughts turned to her career and what she was going to do now that she was only days away from graduating without an acceptance letter to graduate school and no job on the horizon.
Then she remembered a lunch conversation with her friend Justin a year ago, when he had tried to convince her to come work for him. He had originally been part of Liz’s scholarship program, but after he got a DUI, the university had stripped his scholarship. He’d dropped out of school and started his own company online that was just getting off the ground. He had tried to recruit Liz, but she had always been too busy. If he was interested, maybe she could use that as a starting point.
She jotted out a text to him.
Hey, do you have a free minute?
He responded almost immediately.
Sure. What’s up?
She dialed his number and he answered on the first ring. She waved her phone at Victoria and then, on wobbly feet, took her wine into the living room.
“Hey,” she warbled.
“What’s up? You sound tipsy.”
“Just a bit.” She plopped down on the couch.
“Cool. What did you want to talk about?”
“Do you still need help with your blog?”
“Yeah. Why? You interested?” he asked.
“Um . . . yeah. What would you need me to do?” She had kind of called on a whim. All she knew was that Justin was running a company based around organizing YouTube videos and compiling them in a coherent categorical system.
“You’ll just run the blog and keep the masses entertained. I can send you over the information. Just write your opinion.”
“You know what? Sure. Let’s do it.”
“I knew you’d come around,” Justin said cheerfully. “When can you start?”
Liz couldn’t believe it was really that easy. “Now?”
“Awesome! I know you’ll be perfect for this.”
Liz laughed and then they got off the phone. She had just gotten herself a job! No strings attached. It felt good to know that her writing was still valued, even if it wasn’t on the same level or even in the same discipline as she had been trained. Professor Mires had said one door closed, and another one opened.
Liz was starting to believe her.
Chapter 15
PRIORITIES
Thursday rolled around quicker than expected. Liz still had to decide what she was going to do about Hayden. Now that she’d had time to cool down after her argument with Brady, she had realized just how stupid the whole thing had been.
She and Brady hadn’t talked about it since their argument Monday, but she knew him well enough to know that he was anxious about what she was going to do. And she didn’t like that. Their relationship wasn’t always going to be perfect. In fact, it had never really been perfect. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t work with him.
Liz crawled out of bed, took a quick shower, and then tidied up her room. Her parents would be in town tomorrow for graduation, so she had to get her house ready. She was afraid to look in the living room; with all the packing Victoria was doing, the place looked like a pigsty.
Liz was both excited and nervous for her parents to meet Brady. They weren’t thrilled that their daughter was in the newspapers for having an affair with a congressman. No matter how much she told them that it wasn’t like it was in the news, her father still had reservations.
Logging on to her computer, she opened her email to spend a few mindless minutes on the computer before her weekend was taken over by graduation. One email caught her eye. She opened it and just stared at the words.
“Accepted,” she whispered.
Her article had been accepted. She had submitted a few pieces anonymously online to editorial columns. Nowhere too big or fancy. She knew that most would require her name to publish, but she had found some strictly online sites that allowed her to write without tipping off the editor that she’d had a stint or two in the papers herself.
The email went on to ask for her contact information and to discuss freelance payment for the column in question. She nearly jumped out of her seat she was so excited. It wasn’t the New York Times or even Raleigh News, but her article on education policy reform had still been accepted and was going to be published in an online magazine. Her own ideas and words in print once more!
Liz grabbed her phone off of her nightstand to call Brady, and saw that she had a text message from Hayden.
Hey, when and where are we meeting today?
Oh yeah, she had never given him an answer. She bit her lip and jotted out a message back.
I don’t think we should.
After a short pause, her phone dinged again.
Please let me try to make it up to you. I hate how everything ended.
No. I’m sorry. I can’t.
She sighed, feeling bad, but she knew it was for the best. She had said Brady was her past, present, and future and she meant it.
A second later her phone started ringing. Hayden. This wasn’t going to be fun.
“Hey,” she mumbled.
“Hey. I thought we were going to get coffee,” Hayden said.
“I said maybe, and now I’m saying no.”
“Why?”
“It’s not a good idea,” Liz said. “You didn’t like me seeing him when we were together. You should underst
and.”
“Yeah, but you did it anyway, and I doubt you’re going to kiss me. Unless I’m missing something.”
Liz shook her head. “No, of course not.”
“Then what’s the big deal? I’m not asking for anything except coffee. I just want to make things right.”
“You keep saying that, but I don’t even know what that means,” she told him. She was gripping the phone tightly in her hand.
“It means that I’ve felt terrible about what happened and how we ended. I want to know that we can salvage what happened even if we can’t be together.” He sighed heavily. “You meant . . . mean so much to me. I don’t like the idea of us being on such bad terms, even if it is my fault.”
“I understand what you’re saying, Hayden, but it’s over between us.”
“I’m not trying to get back together with you!” Hayden said, exasperated.
“I believe you,” she said. Sort of. “I’m just saying if you want things to be right between us then, fine. Things are right. But this is the end of the road for me.”
“You really think everything can just be better like that? Just by saying they are?”
He sounded disbelieving, but she knew that she was making the right choice.
“I think the more you dwell on it, the more obsessed you’re going to get with the notion that you have to make this up to me. You can’t. You betrayed my trust,” Liz told him flatly. “But I’ve moved on. I’m happy. And it’s not worth potentially hurting him to make you feel better about the fact that you sold me out.”
“So . . . I’m wasting my time here?”
“I guess. If you want to make things right, then just let it all go. I’m in a good place in my life. I know we have some good memories in our past and I’m thankful for them. They’re just in the past, though. My new memories are going to be with Brady.”
“What you’re saying is he doesn’t want you to see me,” Hayden guessed with a biting tone.
“He doesn’t and you can’t blame him for that. But this is my decision. I told him he would have to accept whatever decision I make whether I see you or not. I decided not to.”