Falling for Sarah

by Cate Beauman

  “Absolutely not. I’m already behind schedule.” She’d been horribly ill that morning, causing her to be late to the set. “I just need another second, then I’ll be good to go.”

  Hunter stared before stepping back.

  Alone, she closed her eyes, rested her head against the wall of the pretty trailer. She uncapped the water and sipped as she stood on unsteady legs. She stared at herself in the mirror. Dark under eyes and pale cheeks told her what she’d tried to deny.

  “Austin? Hunter?”

  Austin appeared, his brows furrowing instantly. “Jeez, Sarah, you really look sick. Maybe we should go to the emergency room.”

  “If I don’t feel better by tomorrow, I’ll make an appointment with my doctor. Can you send Melanie in here?”

  “Sure. Are you going to cancel the rest of the day?”

  “No.”

  “Sarah—”

  “Please, Austin. I just need Melanie.”

  Moments later, Sarah’s long-time friend and part-time assistant came into the bathroom. “Oh, honey. You should lie down.”

  “I’m okay. Can you close the door?

  “Sure.” Melanie swung the door shut as she sat on the lip of the tub. “Do you want me to talk to Lisa?”

  Drained of energy, Sarah collapsed to the lid of the toilet. “No. I need a big favor, and I need it to stay between you and me. Only you and me, Melanie.”

  “All right. You know you can trust me.”

  “Yes, I do. Will you go to the store for me? I can’t get to one without my entourage, and I really want to keep my suspicions to myself for awhile yet.”

  “Your suspicions?” Melanie’s eyes widened and she stood. “Oh my goodness. Of course. There’s a drug store down the road. I’ll be right back.” She started for the door, stopped, turned, wrapped Sarah in a hug.

  Sarah held on, taking the comfort of a friend. “Thank you. I’m going to get back to work. If you’ll just stuff it in my purse.”

  Disappointment filled brandy colored eyes. “Oh, I thought you could do it now.”

  Smiling, Sarah stood. “Waiting a few more hours isn’t going to change anything.”

  “Will you call me?”

  “Sure.”

  While Sarah took pictures of the goddess in her white bikini, Austin stood by the trailer, dialing Ethan’s number.

  “Cooke.”

  “It’s Austin.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “The coast has been clear. We’re still getting the notes. In fact, Matthews called about two hours ago saying he intercepted another package. This one had an earring with a blue stone in its center; the same color as the roses. The police came by and took it. The detective says the earring belonged to one of the victims.”

  “Jesus. Did Matthews photograph everything?”

  “Of course.” Austin watched Sarah stop, take a deep breath, clutch at a chair, before she sipped her water. “Ethan, when do you think you’ll be back? You’ve been gone for a month.”

  “I haven’t been to the Paris branch yet. I’ll be home after that. You two’ve been handling it. Why?”

  “Sarah’s sick, man. She’s been sick.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Raking his fingers through his hair, Austin felt a tug of war between giving Sarah her privacy and letting his boss know that the woman he was seeing was ill. “I didn’t say anything at first because I thought maybe she just had the flu, but Hailey and I talked. We think the stress is really getting to her. I checked in on her last night. She was asleep with Kylee by seven. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen her eat a real meal, and she threw up on set about a half-hour ago. If she weren’t talking and breathing, I’d swear she was a ghost. She’s so pale.”

  “How long has this been going on?”

  “Pretty much since you left—the exhaustion anyway. The rest started a couple of weeks ago.”

  “You didn’t think it would be important to tell me before now?”

  “Like I said, I—”

  “I’ll be on the first flight back. Keep this between you and Hunter.”

  “Okay, but—”

  “That’s the way I want it.” Ethan’s tone left no room for argument.

  “I’ll see you when you get back.”

  When the lights were dim and the house finally quiet, Sarah pulled the covers from her legs, got out of bed, and tiptoed to the bathroom. She took her purse from the marbled gray countertop, dug to the bottom, pulling the rectangular box free. Despite the situation, she couldn’t help but smile. Melanie had scrawled ‘Good Luck’ on a post-it and stuck it to the package.

  Her hands shook as she fumbled with the plastic wrapper. She pulled the pregnancy test free, stared at it while nerves twisted her already sensitive stomach. There was little doubt of what the result would be. After flipping through her office calendar earlier that evening, she’d counted days, surprised to find she was well over a month- and-a-half late. With everything going on, time had gotten away from her.

  “Well, here goes nothing.”

  Sarah followed the instructions, peed on the stick, capped it and set it on the counter. She wouldn’t have to wait three agonizing minutes for an answer. Two bright blue lines filled the small screen instantly. Stunned, despite the fact that she had known in her heart, she picked up the white plastic and gaped. “Oh, God.” She covered her mouth with her free hand, never taking her eyes off the positive result. “Oh, God.”

  Legs weak, she leaned against the counter, still staring. Here it was. There was no more denying the truth. She could officially say she was pregnant. What was she going to do?

  She closed the door, turned on the shower, sat on the floor, wrapping her arms tight around her knees, and wept.

  Weary and minutes from the house, Ethan craved his bed. The thirteen-hour flight home had been hell. He’d done little but worry and think of Sarah. She was making herself sick over the stalking situation and photo shoot, no doubt.

  The stress and pressure of the swimsuit edition weighed heavy on her every year. The hours were long, the weather hot, and the models weren’t always easy to work with. Throwing a murdering psychopath into the deal didn’t exactly add up to a recipe for serenity.

  It probably didn’t help that he hadn’t called, but he’d needed the time and tried not to feel guilty for taking it. He’d been right to give himself the extra two weeks. After thinking over his conversations with both his father and Hunter, he’d been able to come to the realization that Ethan Cooke just wasn’t meant to belong to one woman, especially not Sarah. She was puppy dogs, white picket fences, and commitment. He wasn’t—never would be. They’d been caught up in a delusion, a cozy rendition of house, but it was time to end that.

  Hopefully they could find their way back to being friends again, the way they always had been. He needed that connection with her, but there couldn’t be anything more. It would hurt her for a little while, but she would be fine.

  Pain filled his heart as he thought of the conversation they would have to have, but in the end they would both be okay. He never should have pursued Sarah. It had been selfish. There was a wrong to right, and he would take care of it the first moment he got.

  Ethan pulled up to the gate and punched in his code. He drove down his long drive, staring at the ramble of wood and glass he called home. It was good to be here. He let himself into his house, met an excited Bear and Reece in the entryway. Tails whipped back and forth while tongues licked his face. “Hey, fellas, I missed you. Yes I did.” Both dogs fell to the floor and he gave them thorough rubdowns.

  He looked up as Hunter and Austin stood in the doorway, groggy and well muscled in gym shorts.

  “Don’t let us interrupt,” Hunter said, scrubbing his hands over his face.

  “Welcome home, boss,” Austin said with a huge yawn.

  Ethan stood. “What a welcoming committee. Go back to bed, Sleeping Beauties. I’m planning on heading that way myself.” He glanced down at h
is watch, wincing. “Three-thirty. That’s gonna hurt in a couple hours. What time does Sarah have to be on location?”

  “Don’t worry about it, boss. Hunter and I’ll cover her. She scheduled a doctor’s appointment when we got home. It’s at eight-thirty. We’ll go with her before we go on location. You rest. You look like shit.”

  He had to see her himself, to be sure she was okay. “Take the morning off, Austin. I’ll take her to her appointment.”

  “Uh, if that’s what you want. I’m going back to bed.”

  “Right behind you,” Hunter said. “Oh, by the way, Sarah and Kylee are in your room. You’ll probably want to bunk somewhere else.”

  As quickly as they’d appeared, they were gone, leaving him in the darkened silence.

  He climbed the stairs, longing for sleep, heading for the guest bedroom farthest down the hall. The door to his room was cracked and he stopped. Hesitating, he poked his head in, breathing in the scent of his aftershave mixed with Sarah’s flowery perfume.

  When neither Sarah nor Kylee stirred, he walked over to the bed. The light from the bathroom washed over Sarah’s face and her beauty staggered him. He had to touch her. He brushed his fingers through her soft, silky hair before he pulled away.

  He stared at Kylee as she slept with her hand tucked under her cheek, the mirror image of her mother. As he stepped away, emptiness filled him. They weren’t his. They never would be.

  Moving back down the hall, he collapsed on the guest bed, still fully clothed, and fell asleep.

  CHAPTER 20

  SARAH OPENED HER EYES, BLINKING against the sun. Nausea roiled in her belly, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been yesterday—thank God. Settling into her new routine, she sat up, blew out several breaths, waited for the bile to head back in the direction it belonged. When she was sure her stomach would behave, she got to her feet and made her way to the bathroom.

  She twisted the shower to life and untied her robe. She walked to the mirror, scrutinizing her naked body. Turning to her side, she ran a hand over her barely bloated lower stomach. Her tender breasts were heavier, her nipples a darker shade of pink. Denial still wanted its way, but that couldn’t be.

  She turned toward the shower again and gasped. The pregnancy test still lay on the counter. She placed the plastic back in the box, looked around, shoved the package among the folded towels on the shelf until she could find someplace else to put it.

  She stepped into the water and began to plan her day. Her schedule was crammed tight with the last-minute doctor’s appointment, but they would just have to work around it. If she planned for an early start tomorrow, perhaps she could be home before dinner to swim with Kylee. Lately, by day’s end, she was completely depleted of energy, but she’d find some, damn it.

  Dressed in raspberry colored capris and a white v-neck tank, Sarah made her way to the kitchen, ready to fight her battle with a piece of toast and a glass of milk. Austin sat at the table with the paper and a cup of coffee. The pungent aroma wreaked havoc on her system, causing her to breathe through her mouth. “Good morning.”

  Austin set down the paper. “Hey, Sarah.”

  He scrutinized her face. “You’re not quite as pale today. How are you feeling?”

  She smiled as she popped a piece of bread in the toaster. “Much better,” she lied.

  “Well, I’m glad you’re going to see the doctor anyway. Hopefully they can give you something to help you out.”

  Not so much. “Oh, I’m sure they will.” She buttered her toast and sat down. She’d have to pick up prenatal vitamins somehow. Perhaps Melanie could make another supply run. “I should be ready to go in about fifteen minutes, if that works for you.”

  “I’m not—”

  “Dood morning, Mama.” Kylee, messy haired and rumpled, stepped into the kitchen.

  “Hi, sweet girl. How was your sleep?”

  “Dood.”

  She walked over to Austin, and he settled her on his lap. “Is Princess Kylee going to build castles with Hailey today?”

  Blue eyes bright, she smiled. “Yes.”

  Sarah chuckled, bringing the bread to her mouth. “I still can’t believe Wren put a sandbox in the playroom. I wonder what Ethan will think of that when he gets home.”

  “Actually, Sarah—”

  “Ethan!” Kylee scrambled down and ran toward the doorway.

  “Hey, kiddo.” He scooped her up, hugged her tight, never taking his eyes from Sarah’s.

  Heart pounding, she could only stare as the breath backed up in her lungs. His hair was still damp from the shower. The scent of his aftershave carried on the air. The navy blue polo and khakis he wore showed off his muscled perfection. He was really here. She hadn’t had any warning, hadn’t had an opportunity to prepare.

  “Hey,” he said.

  Austin cleared his throat. “I was just about to tell you the boss is back.”

  “So I see. Welcome home, Ethan.” Sarah stood, hoping she sounded casual as hurt and longing careened through her system with equal force. She took her uneaten toast to the sink, pushed it into the disposal, needing a moment to compose herself. She washed her plate with precise, exacting strokes, stalling, attempting to steel herself to the shock of meeting his gaze again. “Kylee, we should find Hailey and get you settled in. Austin, I’ll be ready after I get my purse and camera bag.”

  “I’m taking you this morning.”

  Ethan’s words sunk in and Sarah whirled. “No. You don’t have to do that. I’m going with Austin.”

  “Austin’s been reassigned. Now that I’m here, he’ll go back to private duty during the day.”

  “Oh.” She glanced at Austin as he gave her a shrug. What could she say to that? She wasn’t ready for this, wasn’t ready to deal with him being back in her life. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay home and rest? You look tired.”

  Eyes unreadable, he set Kylee on her feet. “I’m fine.”

  “Let me get my purse and tell Hailey I’m ready to go.”

  Sarah rushed from the room and up the stairs, stopping when she made it to the bedroom. She lowered herself to the bed, resting her face in her hands. Ethan was back and the timing couldn’t be worse. She was still reeling from one shock and now she had to deal with another.

  She ran her fingers through her hair and blew out a breath as she glanced at the clock. It was time to go. How was she going to handle this? What was she going to do?

  As she tried to find her calm, she remembered her resolve to start a new chapter in her life—surprising new twist and all. Nothing had to be decided right now. She would take the time she needed to sort it out. Steadier, she grabbed her purse, her camera bag and knocked on Hailey’s door.

  Hailey, pretty in her vivid red t-shirt and jeans, opened the door, smiling. “Morning.”

  “Hi. I really have to be on my way. I’m going to be late for my doctor’s appointment. Are you ready for Kylee?”

  “Sure.” Hailey closed her door and they headed downstairs. “I’m so glad you’re going to have a checkup. I’ve been worried about you. All this stress has messed with your immune system.”

  Guilty that her friends were concerned, she tried a smile. “Don’t be worrying about me. I’m just fine.” She looked closely at her energetic young friend and frowned. “You know, you should get out of the house one of these evenings. I’m sure we can arrange for Austin to take you. You must be going stir crazy around here.”

  “Austin? Why should I go out with Austin? I mean he’s nice and totally hot and all, but I don’t know…”

  Wasn’t this interesting? Smiling, Sarah pulled on Hailey’s arm, stopping her. “I just meant that if you wanted to go shopping, catch a movie or grab a bite out, we would arrange for someone to take you. It’ll be safer that way.”

  Hailey’s cheeks burned bright. “Of course. Yeah, of course. Maybe sometime this week. Although, I’m not bored here. This place is like a resort.”

  Chuckling, Sarah squeezed Hailey’s shoulder.
She’d needed this; a brush of normal before she started her long day. She took Hailey’s hand. “Have I told you how lucky I am to have you in my life? Thank you for all that you do for Kylee and me. You’re such a special friend.”

  “Sarah, you’re going to get me all sniffly. You, me, and Morgan need to get together for a movie night in Ethan’s game room. When you’re finished with this photo shoot, let’s do it.”

  “I’m hoping this will be over by then. We’ll be able to have a movie night at my house.”

  “That sounds good too, but I like Ethan’s TV better. It practically takes up the whole wall.”

  Sarah laughed. “We’ll have to see what we can do.”

  Ethan stepped into the hallway. “Hi, Hailey.”

  She smiled. “Hi. Welcome back.”

  “Thanks. We should get going. Hunter will follow behind and wait outside the doctor’s office.

  Sarah blew out a breath. “Okay. I just need to say goodbye to Kylee.”

  Buckled into the Rover, Sarah stared out at the Pacific rushing by her window, unsure of what to say. Her steepled fingers bunched and relaxed, bunched and relaxed, until her palms began to cramp. She rested her hands on her thighs, counting down the minutes until she could get out of the SUV.

  Ethan cleared his throat. “So, how’s the shoot going?”

  She made brief eye contact before looking down at her sandaled foot, moving double-time against the floor mat. “Great, really great. Super, in fact.”

  Tense silence filled the space again.

  Frayed nerves began to snap. Sarah reached forward and turned on the radio, giving herself something to do. She fiddled from station to station until Ethan placed his hand over hers. She pulled away from the warmth of his skin, gave him an over-bright smile before she stared straight ahead.

  “Listen, Sarah, I don’t know if this is the best time, but I was hoping we could talk this evening.”

  She glanced at his profile. The regret was there, in his eyes, in his voice; she couldn’t stand it. It was easier to figure this out now, before things got even more complicated.