The Baby Trail (Baby Bonds #2)

by Karen Rose Smith

  She looked embarrassed. “Maybe I thought you’d have some words of wisdom. Maybe I thought if we finally settled everything between us, I could move on easily.”

  “There’s nothing between us now, unless you’re still holding resentment, which I wouldn’t blame you for.”

  Vigorously she shook her head. “No. No resentment anymore. I just—I’m not sure what to do. I want a marriage like my parents have, and I don’t know if Dennis can give that to me.”

  “Cheryl, this Dennis won’t be able to give it to you. The two of you will have to work on it together. And chances are, it won’t be exactly like your parents have. Have you talked to him about this?”

  “I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want him to think I don’t have feelings for him. I do. I just don’t know if they’re deep enough and strong enough.”

  “Then don’t get married.”

  Her gaze lifted to his. “Not even for the sake of the baby?”

  “Especially not for the sake of the baby. That baby needs two people who know they’re doing the right thing. Wait a few months until after the baby’s born. Wait six months. Wait until both of you know that what you’re doing is right.”

  The waitress came over to their table then, and a bit flustered, Cheryl opened her menu.

  In that moment, Garrett knew she had always expected him to be a father figure, as well as a husband. She’d expected answers from him he couldn’t always give. She’d expected a kind of love he had never understood.

  Although he looked down at his menu, he saw Gwen’s face. He liked her independence and her spunk and the way she talked back to him when she didn’t agree.

  Gwen and Cheryl were two very different women. He suddenly missed Gwen and was looking forward to seeing her again. Soon.

  “How did it go today?” Gwen asked Garrett as they stood in her kitchen.

  When Garrett had returned from D.C. last night, he’d called. They’d made arrangements for Gwen to drop off Tiffany and Amy today over her lunch break. He’d generously offered to bring them home at the end of the day.

  “She’s a good worker, and Amy cooperated by sleeping about two and a half hours this afternoon.”

  “You stuck around the house?”

  “I worked on my laptop in the kitchen. Tiffany caught on to the computer program I use almost right away.”

  Gwen heaved a sigh of relief. “I’m glad. She seems comfortable with Amy now, too, as comfortable as a new mother can get.”

  “She picks her up every time she cries. I told her not to worry about keeping her quiet on my account.”

  “I think she just likes to hold her.”

  Silence fell between them and Gwen asked him what she hadn’t asked him last night when he called. “So how did your trip go?”

  Leaning against the counter, he crossed his arms over his chest and she took it for the defensive gesture it was. “It went fine.”

  “When will you know if you got the contract?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Obviously you don’t want to talk about it.”

  “I can’t talk about it.”

  Garrett was the tall, dark and silent type. It was the silent part that was frustrating. He must have realized that because he took her hand and pulled her close.

  “Does it matter?” he asked.

  “I suppose not.” He had shared a lot with her about his background and about his ex-wife. He had shared what mattered. That should be enough.

  But will he share his heart, his soul and his life? a wise little voice asked.

  Bending his forehead to hers, he touched noses with her and wrapped her tighter into his arms. She felt a rightness when their bodies touched like this. Excitement began its tingling journey through her as his lips hovered over hers.

  He whispered, “I missed you.”

  He began a kiss that had seemed much too long in coming. No matter what he’d been doing in D.C., he’d admitted he missed her and she had missed him. She had thought about him way too much as she tried to figure out what their relationship meant to her life. She loved him. She was beginning to see a future for them. But he was right about her—wedding veils were in her dreams, and he’d made it clear that marriage wasn’t in his life picture. Not again.

  Instead of kissing her outright, he took tiny nibbles at the corners of her lips. Questions fled as she laced her hands into his hair and parted her lips. As always when Garrett kissed her, her world spun, her body sang, her mind gave up trying to figure anything out as pleasurable sensation whirled around her. His hands tunneled under the hem of her sweater until his fingers met her midriff. She shivered from the erotic thrill of his hands spanning her waist.

  He broke the kiss once, looked deep into her eyes, then came back for more. As she responded freely, she felt him letting his guard drop, letting his hunger increase, letting their passion explode.

  Yet seconds later, she realized Garrett always maintained control. Although his fingers were still scorching hot on her skin as he held her, he slowed down their passion and backed away from their desire. His lips clung to hers reluctantly as if he didn’t want to pull away.

  Yet he did.

  “Tiffany will probably be finished feeding Amy pretty soon.”

  Gwen knew he was right. She knew they had to be practical. She knew she had a single mom and a baby to think of now, rather than just herself.

  Taking a breath to try to right her world, knowing her world wouldn’t be right unless Garrett was in it, she asked, “Do you want to stay for supper?”

  “I’d like that.”

  Old fears gnawed at Gwen, reminding her lots of people had walked away from her. A hopeful voice in her heart whispered, This time will be different.

  She clung to that belief.

  Chapter Ten

  Gwen had just finished with a patient on Thursday when the receptionist buzzed her. Tiffany was on the line. “Garrett had to go out of town. Can you pick me up?” she asked.

  “Sure. I’ll be there around five.”

  Since Monday, Gwen had been asking herself, What did Garrett feel?

  That was the million-dollar question. Since Monday, they hadn’t spent any time alone. Maybe because they knew if they did they’d end up in bed…because she and Garrett were dry kindling just waiting for a random spark to ignite them.

  He’d joined them for supper every night. When they were all together, they felt like a family.

  After Gwen finished talking to Tiffany, she tried to call her dad to see if he wanted to join them for supper. The first time he’d met Tiffany and Amy, he’d been a bit bemused by the fact that his daughter had taken in a perfect stranger. But then he’d seemed to fit into a grandfatherly role, even holding the baby. He’d probably enjoy a home-cooked meal tonight instead of warming a TV dinner in the microwave.

  But Gwen couldn’t get hold of him, and that was odd. He had a cell phone now and because of his work, he usually kept it with him. Maybe it wasn’t charged. Maybe it was in his car. Maybe—

  No. There was no reason for him to be drinking again.

  Alcoholics don’t need a reason to drink, the voice of experience told her.

  What we fear, we create, Garrett had said.

  She wouldn’t go there. Just because she couldn’t reach her dad didn’t mean he was drinking.

  However, when she tried again at three and then once more before leaving work, she was truly worried.

  When Gwen picked up Tiffany, the young mother could see she was troubled.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked as she fastened her seat belt. “Did someone from family services call? Is there a problem?”

  Underlying the words, Gwen could read the questions Tiffany really wanted to ask. Do you want me and Amy to move somewhere else? Are we too much of a bother? Will you toss us out like my mother did?

  Quickly she reached across the seat and patted Tiffany’s hand. “There isn’t a problem. At least not with you and Amy. I might be worrying for
nothing, but I can’t get hold of Dad.”

  Before her father had come for breakfast the Saturday after Tiffany and Amy had moved in, she’d told Tiffany more fully about her childhood, her dad’s alcoholism and his current sobriety.

  “Do you think he might be at Clementine’s?” Tiffany asked, wide-eyed. “Do you want to stop by and check?”

  Glancing over her shoulder at Amy, Gwen decided, “I’ll take you home first.”

  “Sure you don’t want someone with you?”

  Gwen wanted to hug Tiffany for her offer. “Thanks, but I’ll do this on my own.”

  “You don’t know what you’ll find,” Tiffany said wisely.

  “I don’t know what I’ll find,” Gwen agreed, not wanting Tiffany to have to deal with any more than she already had. Gwen didn’t want to face the possibilities herself, but she had no choice.

  A short time later, darkness shattered only by the streetlamp, Gwen parked in front of her family home—the home she’d known as a child, the home she’d escaped from when she was able. As a teenager, first on her bike, then in the rattletrap car she’d managed to save up to buy, she’d spent a lot of time at Kylie’s. Kylie’s dad had often been gone a few days at a time, chasing the thrills of a rodeo, just like Alex had.

  Was it true girls tended to marry men like their fathers?

  Gwen sincerely hoped not.

  Walking up the porch steps, Gwen told herself she was prepared for anything. She knocked first, then rang the bell, hoping her dad had just had his phone turned off, had been napping. Something.

  No one answered the door. It was open, though. Her dad never locked his doors.

  Inside the house that now saw a dusting and vacuuming by a cleaning lady once a month, she noticed the natural disorder of a bachelor living alone—magazines tossed here and there, slippers beside the recliner, a half-read newspaper open on the sofa.

  “Dad,” she called, hoping for an answer. Maybe not hoping for an answer.

  The stairs loomed ahead of her. She didn’t want to climb those steps to the bedroom. She didn’t want to find her father passed out. She didn’t want her hopes dashed again.

  Yet she straightened her back and climbed the steps anyway. Never had she worn blinders as far as her dad’s drinking was concerned, and she wouldn’t start now. She knew she couldn’t evade reality.

  Flipping on the hall light, she mounted the stairs and stood at the top, peering into her father’s room. The bed was made…and it was empty.

  The relief that swept over her was almost overwhelming. She knew she shouldn’t be relieved. He could still be at Clementine’s. He could still be somewhere else with a fifth of vodka in front of him.

  Before she could turn around and decide what to do next, she heard the front door open and her dad call, “Gwen? Are you here?”

  Hurrying downstairs, she stopped in the foyer to examine her father. He was smiling. His eyes were sparkling. He was wearing jeans, a sweatshirt and an all-weather jacket.

  “Where have you been?” she asked, trying to keep her tone tempered. “You didn’t answer your cell phone or this one.” She gestured toward the cordless in the living room.

  “Do you want me to take a Breathalyzer?” he asked, his voice serious, the twinkle gone from his eyes.

  He looked clear-eyed, and well, not like a man who’d been drinking one shot after another. “I was worried. I called to invite you to dinner, and when I couldn’t find you—” she broke off.

  “You thought the worst, as you usually do. As I’ve taught you to do. I’m sorry, Gwen. I’m sober. In fact, I’m more than sober. I was with Garrett. We went on a search-and-rescue mission.”

  She now noticed there were binoculars in her dad’s hand. As she followed him into the living room, he took off his jacket and tossed it over the sofa. “With Garrett? Since when?”

  “We had a talk at the barn dance. Afterward, I called him and asked if he needed a spotter. I’d like something in my life besides work. It just seemed like a good idea.”

  “Garrett thought so, too?”

  “He wasn’t sure. He told me he had to think about it. Then today he got a call and he called me. This could be what I’ve been looking for. Just hanging around his plane makes me feel…worthwhile again.”

  “Garrett didn’t tell me you called him.”

  “I asked him not to. Not until he made a decision. I knew you’d think it was just another pipe dream of mine. You know, Gwen, at some point you’re going to have to have faith in me to stay sober. You’re going to have to have faith in me that I can make my life mean something.”

  “And you really think being a spotter for Garrett can do that?”

  Her father shoved his hands into his jeans pockets. “Not on its own. But it can help. Teenagers went hiking today and got lost. We found them. In fact, I spotted them, then Garrett radioed in.”

  On one hand, Gwen was happy for her father, but she was upset that Garrett had kept this from her. It involved her dad, for heaven’s sake.

  Supper tonight was out of the question. Tiffany was probably bathing Amy and getting her ready for bed. But tomorrow night…

  “I have to get home to Amy and Tiffany,” she said, “but how about supper tomorrow night? I’ll put something in the Crock-Pot before I leave for work. Then you can tell us all about searching for those teenagers.”

  “Sounds good to me.” Her father looked pleased at her invitation and the fact she wanted to hear about his adventure. “Maybe some night soon I can invite Dorothy along and we can all go someplace to eat.”

  Over the years her father hadn’t dated much. “You’ve seen her since the barn dance?”

  “We caught a movie last weekend. She’s a nice lady.”

  His life was changing. “All right. You find out what nights are good for her, then let me know.”

  Crossing to her dad, Gwen gave him a hug. “The next time you do something like today, can you call me and let me know?”

  “Things happened so fast today, I didn’t even think about calling you. But yeah, I’ll try to do that. And can you not push the panic button as soon as you can’t get hold of me?”

  Leaning away from him, she stared into his clear blue eyes. “I’ll try to hold off pushing the panic button.”

  A few minutes later as Gwen sat in her van outside of her father’s house, mixed emotions swirled inside of her. Could she give her dad the benefit of the doubt? Could she trust him to run his own life? To stay sober?

  Taking her cell phone from her purse, she brought up Garrett’s name in her address book and hit the number.

  He answered on the second ring.

  “Garrett, it’s Gwen.”

  “Hi, Gwen,” he said cautiously, as if he knew what was coming.

  “I just spent a couple of hours worrying about Dad because I couldn’t get hold of him. When he got home, he told me he’d been with you. Why didn’t you let me know he was interested in going up with you?” She tried to keep her voice even but the note of accusation was there.

  Gwen counted five beats of silence until Garrett replied calmly, “It was up to him to tell you.”

  “You couldn’t have said, ‘Your dad’s interested in going on some search-and-rescue trips with me?’ What would have been the harm in that? It’s not like it was some big secret, was it?”

  “Your dad preferred I not tell you and I respected that.”

  “What about your respect for me? What about our…friendship?” she settled on, not able to find a word she wanted.

  “This didn’t have anything to do with you and me.”

  “Of course it did.”

  “No. Your father made it clear he wanted me to make a decision independent of you.”

  “How could it be independent of me when you and I are—”

  “I think involved is the word you’re looking for. Tell me something, Gwen. If I had told you about your dad, what would you have done? Tried to talk me out of it? Tried to talk him out of it? Told me I wa
s making a mistake considering it? Told him he should get sober on the ground instead of trying to fly?”

  “I don’t know what I would have done. I didn’t have a chance to find out.”

  She heard him sigh. “You’re acting like a parent with him, Gwen, and you’re not. You’re his daughter. You’re going to have to learn to relate to him as an adult, rather than treating him like a child.”

  Maybe she was. And maybe she had started to tonight. But that was separate from her upset with Garrett. “I’ll work it out. But what I don’t know is if I can work out you keeping something like that from me.”

  “You’re making too much of this.”

  “And you’re not trying to understand how I feel.” She realized now she shouldn’t have called him. She should have gone to see him face-to-face.

  “I’ve got to go, Gwen. My cell phone’s ringing and it could be important.”

  She could understand his cell phone ringing. She could understand his need to go. What she couldn’t understand was that she felt diminished by his attitude. “You go, Garrett. I have a feeling you ended a lot of conversations this way with your ex-wife.”

  Then she clicked off.

  The little window on her phone still glowed for a couple of seconds, then the light went out, and she wondered what she’d done. She’d let her hurt get the best of her. She shouldn’t have said anything in anger. Maybe it hadn’t been entirely fair.

  Fair. Who knew what was fair anymore? She wanted to get closer to Garrett, not shove him away. But tonight that’s probably what she’d done.

  Switching on the ignition, she headed home.

  Gwen was in the kitchen studying the contents of the refrigerator, trying to decide what she was going to toss into the slow cooker for tomorrow’s supper when her doorbell rang. Checking the clock above the sink, she saw it was 11:00 p.m.

  When she went to the door, she called, “Who is it?”

  “It’s Garrett.”

  Her heart began racing and she quickly unlocked the door. His expression was serious and she wondered if he’d come to tell her they weren’t involved anymore.