The Baby Trail (Baby Bonds #2)

by Karen Rose Smith

  Before he could help her off his legs, she was sliding over to the bench. The lower portion of her curls were wet. She rested her head against the lip of the tub and closed her eyes.

  Garrett switched off the jets. “There are two bathrooms in the house. One upstairs, off the loft, the other in the hall with the bedrooms. I’ll go upstairs and shower. I’ll meet you in the kitchen and we’ll have supper and talk.”

  When she opened her eyes, she asked, “Is there anything to talk about?”

  “Let’s get something to eat—”

  “And pretend we’re enjoying the ribs? While there’s a rock in your stomach as you figure out what to say to me? And there’s a rock in mine because I don’t want to hear what you have to say?”

  It was damned disconcerting that she could read him better than anyone else in his life. “You’re not going to just hop out of here and leave with your hair wet.”

  She hesitated only a moment. “I’ll get a shower and towel off, then leave.”

  When she stood to go, he stood, too, and grabbed her wrist.

  She looked down at it, and then up at him. “What do you want, Garrett? A simple affair in between bites of chocolate pie? We both blew the idea of that tonight.”

  “You might not get pregnant.”

  “True. Or I might. You haven’t changed your mind, have you, hypothetically speaking of course, of wanting children and a wife as a life partner?”

  “Hypothetically speaking, no, I haven’t.”

  “Well then,” she said breaking free of his grip, “that says it all.”

  Quicker than he’d ever seen her move, Gwen was out of the tub, into the robe and stepping onto the deck.

  She’d gone inside by the time he left the hot tub enclosure. He didn’t go after her. They both needed cooling down time.

  While Garrett showered upstairs, he thought about her downstairs. Although he dressed quickly, by the time he’d descended the steps, he felt the emptiness in the house. She hadn’t showered. She’d dressed and left with her hair wet.

  The chocolate cream pie sat in the middle of his table.

  He wanted to put his fist through the wall.

  Chapter Eleven

  Was she pregnant or wasn’t she?

  For almost two weeks, Gwen had been pretending as if leaving Garrett’s house as she had hadn’t affected her. Well, it had. As much as their interlude in the hot tub. She loved Garrett, and making love with him had powerfully shown her how much. Stupidly, as soon as she’d stepped into that hot tub, all practical thoughts had left her. When he’d scooped her onto his lap she’d been lost in the moonlit night, the intimacy of steam, the scent and feel of Garrett.

  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

  And now, as she sat at the kitchen table, sorting bills, she knew she had to use a pregnancy test, but she was postponing doing it.

  Her attention was thankfully snagged by Tiffany who came into the kitchen with Amy on her shoulder.

  “All bathed?” Gwen asked.

  When Tiffany had first brought Amy home, she’d wanted Gwen there to make sure she was doing things right. Especially bathing. But now she handled almost everything on her own. Gwen helped her at night if Amy had a fussy spell. But for the most part, Tiffany was handling her responsibilities and Gwen was just a doting aunt.

  Her heart still ached to have her own baby, Garrett’s baby. That was probably why she’d postponed using a pregnancy test—the results would fulfill her hopes or dash her dreams.

  Tiffany transferred Amy to the crook of her arm and dug something out of her jeans pocket. “I wanted to give you this.” She handed Gwen two twenties and a five-dollar bill.

  “What’s this?”

  “What I had left over after buying Amy’s supplies for next week. I want to start paying you back.”

  “Tiffany, you don’t have to do that.”

  “I know, but I want to. I have to start taking care of everything Amy needs.”

  “I think you should save this for a rainy day…for an expense you don’t expect. Amy will have a doctor’s visit coming up soon, won’t she?”

  Tiffany had obviously forgotten about that. “There’s always someplace for it to go, isn’t there?” she asked.

  “Always.”

  “Mr. Maxwell said once Amy starts crawling, he’ll move his computer down to the spare room. Then I won’t have to worry about the stairs.”

  Tiffany and Gwen hadn’t talked about Garrett and she didn’t particularly want to do it now. “Maybe we can arrange a different schedule. Possibly you could work in the evenings and I can watch her here. Then Garrett doesn’t have to rearrange his house and you won’t be distracted.”

  “You’d do that?”

  Unable to help herself, Gwen stood and scooped Amy out of Tiffany’s arms. She ran her finger over the cute little forehead and down the pug nose. “Of course, I’d do that.”

  “If I couldn’t get in enough hours that way, I could always add Saturday mornings. But of course you’d be tied up then, too.”

  “We’ll work it out.”

  “Did you and Mr. Maxwell mix things up? I mean, he never comes over here anymore.”

  “We had a difference of opinion.”

  “He acts like he’s not interested when I bring you up, but he is.”

  Gwen cast Tiffany a sideways glance. “And why would you be bringing me up?”

  Tiffany shrugged and grinned. “To get his reaction. I wondered what was going on. But he doesn’t say anything.”

  That was Garrett. Gwen didn’t really want to discuss her love life, or lack of it, with Tiffany. She thought she had to be a role model for her. What had happened with Garrett had been irresponsible and foolish. If she was pregnant, she’d have to tell her. But she’d wait and see.

  “I’m almost finished with the bills. Do you want to watch a movie after Amy goes to bed?”

  “That sounds good.”

  Amy started to squiggle and Tiffany took her from Gwen’s arms. After she crossed to the doorway, she stopped. “Do you think Justin will ever try to find me?”

  Gwen’s views on Tiffany’s boyfriend were about the same as her views on the girl’s mother. But she kept her voice nonjudgmental. “Do you want him to find you?”

  “No.”

  “Do you want Garrett to find him?”

  “No,” Tiffany answered with even more surety. “Not after what he did to me. I don’t need a man in my life who’s going to cut out and leave. If he did it once, he’ll do it again.”

  “I think you’re right about that,” Gwen agreed, thinking about Garrett, knowing her situation was much different from Tiffany’s. Garrett had never wanted to get involved. Neither had she, as far as that went.

  A half hour later, Gwen and Tiffany were watching a Drew Barrymore flick when the doorbell rang. When Gwen glanced at Tiffany, the teenager shrugged. “Maybe it’s Garrett.”

  Carefully Gwen set the bowl of popcorn that had been in her lap on the coffee table. “What do you know that I don’t know?”

  “He asked if you were going to be home tonight.”

  “And you didn’t tell me?”

  “I didn’t want you to be disappointed if he didn’t show.”

  How could she be angry about that? After all, Tiffany was just trying to take care of her, the way she tried to protect Tiffany. Suddenly she was aware that she was wearing her old comfortable jeans with an often-washed, cowl-neck top printed with wild horses.

  Reading her mind, Tiffany commented, “You look fine. Answer the door before he goes away.”

  Gwen wasn’t so sure she didn’t want him to go away.

  She didn’t hurry to the door because she was trying to prepare herself for seeing him again.

  A lot of good that did. She still wasn’t prepared when she opened the door and there he was in a gray leather jacket and black jeans. In his hands he held her pie plate.

  “I came to return this,” he said, as if that was a valid reason.

&nb
sp; “You couldn’t have given it to Tiffany?”

  “I could have. But then I couldn’t have told you in person how good the pie was.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Why did you really come tonight?” She couldn’t help that kernel of hope that wanted to dig in its roots and sprout in her heart.

  “I wondered if you used the pregnancy test yet. I looked it up on the Web, and you can get a valid reading after seven to ten days. It’s been two weeks.”

  She kept her voice low. “I haven’t—”

  Suddenly Tiffany was by her shoulder, looking at the two of them. “He doesn’t have to stand outside. Invite him in. I’ll go back to my bedroom and read.”

  “You were watching a movie. You don’t have to go anywhere,” Gwen assured her.

  “That’s right,” Garrett agreed, as he gave the pie plate to Tiffany. “Gwen’s coming out with me. Get your coat,” he directed her.

  Gwen gave him a look she didn’t have to put into words.

  With a sigh he asked, “How about coming with me? We’ll stop and get the things we need, then go back to my place.”

  He was speaking in code for Tiffany’s sake, but Gwen didn’t know if she wanted to be pushed into buying a pregnancy test. Still, she should find out one way or the other what the future held.

  “Go on,” Tiffany urged her. “I’ll watch the rest of the movie and tell you what happens…in detail.”

  Five minutes later, Gwen found herself beside Garrett in his SUV, neither of them saying a word, both of them sneaking glances at each other.

  Finally, when they pulled up in front of a small shopping plaza and he parked at the drugstore, he said, “You shouldn’t have left like that.”

  “I couldn’t sit there and eat supper with you as if nothing had happened. As if you wanted me there.”

  With a quick jerk of his hand, he switched off the ignition. “I wouldn’t have asked you to stay if I hadn’t wanted you there.”

  “You felt duty-bound, Garrett. I don’t want any man to be with me out of duty.”

  His scowl set his jaw. After a moment, he unfastened his seat belt. “You might change your mind if that test shows positive.”

  “I won’t change my mind. Especially if the test shows positive.” Unclasping her seat belt, she was out of the car and into the store before he could say anything else.

  Since Gwen rushed ahead of him, Garrett stood at the door by the magazine rack, his arms crossed over his chest.

  Gwen almost smiled. He was as uncomfortable about this as she was, but trying to act as if he wasn’t.

  Unfortunately, she recognized the girl at the cashier’s desk. She was a senior at the high school. Her eyes got big and wide when she saw the pregnancy test.

  Gwen just said, “It’s for a friend,” paid, took her package and swept out the door in front of Garrett.

  Coming out right behind her he offered, “You don’t lie well.”

  “Maybe I’ll have to work on that,” she tossed at him as she opened the door.

  After he caught her arm, he swung her around to him. “No, you won’t. One of the things I like most about you, Gwen, is your honesty.”

  Her chest felt tight and her eyes burned. He liked her. She knew that. But did his feelings go any deeper than that? Even if they did and he denied them, what was the point?

  Pulling out of his grasp, she climbed up into the SUV.

  With a frustrated expression on his usually inscrutable face, he stepped away so she could close the door.

  They rode in silence to Garrett’s house. Once inside, Garrett moved toward the stack of logs in the cubicle beside the fireplace. “I’m going to start a fire.”

  Did that mean he intended them to spend the evening together?

  She was in so much turmoil she didn’t argue with him.

  After she removed her coat, she took the package she’d purchased at the drugstore to the bathroom. She wasn’t sure what she hoped for. She wanted a baby. She wanted Garrett’s baby. But did she want one like this?

  The test was easy to use. Afterward she waited in the bathroom. There was no point going out there and pacing along with him. When she checked her watch and examined the stick, she saw the negative sign.

  Sagging against the counter, she didn’t know if she was relieved or sad. She knew what Garrett would be, though.

  Tossing everything into the waste can, she returned to the living room. He was sitting on the sofa, staring into the fire. And she couldn’t even imagine what he was thinking.

  When his eyes found hers expectantly, she told him, “I’m not pregnant.”

  No expression crossed his face, but he patted the sofa next to him. “Come and sit.” It was more than a request but less than an order.

  He looked so sexy…and dangerous in the black T-shirt and jeans, his hair ruffled from the wind, his face all strong lines that added up to determination and resolution, and maybe something gentler. He was sitting forward on the sofa cushion. She sat further back and rested her head against the top of the sofa.

  “Are you relieved?”

  She closed her eyes. “Part of me is. The other part really wants to be a mother.”

  “Is that why you forgot about birth control?”

  Her eyes popped open and she sat up. “What do you mean?”

  “Maybe you wanted to get pregnant, and I was a means to an end.”

  Anger rose so fast her cheeks got hot. “No. That wasn’t my intention. Why did you forget about it? Did you want to be a father?”

  “Of course not. For those few minutes my sex drive overrode my common sense.”

  She could have been insulted by that. But this was Garrett. He wouldn’t admit if feelings had taken over. “Maybe our subconscious is telling us something in both of our cases.”

  “Don’t try to analyze me, Gwen. You won’t get far.”

  She wasn’t so sure about that. Garrett had a hard shell, that was true. But there were cracks in it that she could sometimes peer through.

  The fire was releasing outdoor wood scents, filling the room with warmth and a soft crackle.

  “Why did you really come over tonight?” she asked softly.

  “I told you I wanted to find out if you were pregnant.”

  “You don’t think I would have called you if I was?”

  His shoulders tensed and he ran his hands through his hair. “You might have. You might not have.”

  “You know I would have. So, why tonight?”

  Now he looked frustrated and almost angry. “What do you want from me, Gwen?”

  “I want to know what you’re feeling, what’s going on in your head.”

  His gray eyes were stormy as he finally admitted, “All right. I couldn’t stay away from you. I didn’t like the way the other night…ended.”

  Love for Garrett filled her heart. But she told him honestly what she’d been feeling after they’d made love. “I felt as if you didn’t want me here. I felt as if I were something you had to deal with, not wanted to deal with.”

  He leaned closer to her now and stroked her cheek. “And you don’t stay where you’re not wanted?”

  “Not anymore.”

  “I want you, Gwen. I’ve been fighting it, but I do want you.”

  His lips covered hers possessively…with a demand she knew wouldn’t end with a kiss. As intoxicating waves of desire washed over her, she knew she didn’t want it to end with a kiss. Maybe her dream wasn’t an impossibility. Wouldn’t his feelings for her grow the longer they were together? The fact that he’d been fighting the bonds growing between them was a sign his feelings for her were growing deeper…stronger.

  She’d always thought about the future, always tried to plan ahead, because she’d discovered early she could only depend on herself. Maybe it was time to stop planning ahead and just think about now.

  When the telephone rang they were both startled by it. Garrett swore and she murmured, “It might be Tiffany.”

  Reaching for the phone on the
end table, Garrett picked up the receiver. “Maxwell,” he said in a tempered voice that Gwen knew might be for Tiffany’s benefit.

  After a few seconds of listening, he said, “I’ll call you right back.”

  To Gwen, he explained, “I have to handle this call. I’ll go up to my office. You will be here when I come down?”

  Curious, but knowing her questions would have to wait, she nodded.

  Garrett mounted the stairs to his office and shut the door.

  Fifteen minutes later Garrett’s office door opened and he returned to the living room.

  “Who was it?” she asked.

  “It was work-related.”

  “And you can’t tell me about it?”

  “I can’t tell you about it.”

  Could she accept this aspect of Garrett? That there might always be secrecy? If she trusted him, the secrecy wouldn’t matter. Then she remembered Mark and all the things he hadn’t told her—his doubts…his fears…his unreadiness to get married. She thought about her father, why he drank and how he never explained to her what was going on inside of him. Would there come a time when there were too many secrets…too many feelings not shared?

  Garrett must have seen her inner battle because he came to her, surrounded her with his arms and leaned back to look into her eyes. “I got the government contract.”

  “And they call on a Friday night?”

  “Government types don’t take off on weekends…or sleep,” he confided with a wry smile. Then he got serious again. “I can’t discuss the particulars with anyone, Gwen. That’s just the way it is.”

  This time she could read something on Garrett’s face—hope that she could accept what he’d told her…hope that they could be together in spite of his lifestyle.

  Making a decision, she stroked his jaw. “I’d rather you’d kiss me than tell me about your work.”

  When he kissed her, she let the moment take over. She let “now” guide her. That’s just the way it had to be with Garrett.

  This time, she was going to go with the flow…and maybe she’d find her bliss.