* * *
The knock on the door surprised Tormod. Surely Edana would not be coming to see him at this time of day, and everyone else in the village knew better than to come to his home. He swung the door open to find a young lad, undoubtedly travel worn by the dirt on his face and clothing.
“What do ye want?” Tormod stared down at the young lad, hoping that his size alone would be enough to strike fear in the young man.
“Excuse me, sir. I’m travelling from Conall Keep and am on me way to deliver a message to yer laird. I was only hoping ye would allow me horse to rest here for a bit whilst I complete me task?”
“Conall keep ye say? Let me see this note that ye carry.” The boy backed away from him, and Tormod floundered for a better response. “I only want to make sure that ye come from where ye say, and then I shall return the letter to ye and allow yer horse to rest here.”
Hesitation crossed the boy’s face, but eventually he extended the parchment in his direction. Tormod snatched it out of the lad’s hand before ripping it open to read its contents and then tossing the letter into the fire.
The boy lunged toward him, but Tormod caught him swiftly by the throat, pushing him into the side of his wall. “Now, lad, I suggest that ye get on yer horse and ride back to Conall Castle and tell whomever sent ye that ye delivered their message just as intended. Ye would no want them thinking that ye failed them, would ye?”
The boy shook uncontrollably under Tormod’s heavy hands, and his face look conflicted as he took in his words. “Aye, sir. Ye are right. If ye will only allow me to leave, I shall do as ye ask.”
“O’course ye will, lad. Now get out of here and doona ever knock on me door again. Do ye understand?”
The lad nodded and fled quickly back onto his horse as he rode in the direction of Conall Castle. Tormod smiled ghoulishly as he shut the door to his home. Not only was Arran about to lose his wife and child, but his lover as well. And he would believe she died without him bidding her farewell.
Everything was beginning to lean in his favor.
Chapter 31
Two months had passed since the day Bri, Adelle, and Mary had come charging into me room and rather excitedly poked me in the bum with some sort of sharp instrument. That day and the days following, I’d been still too overcome with fever to question or worry about what it was they were doing to me, but eventually the fever broke for the last time and slowly but surely I was regaining me health.
Still, there was no doubt just how close to death I’d come. People still seemed nervous around me and avoided much conversation as if they were afraid I would break if touched or spoken to. I’d still no been allowed to leave me bedchamber. The closest to the outdoors I’d come were the few short moments each morning that someone helped me to sit in the window and feel the summer breeze.
I could really only remember the past few weeks, but I knew me days had been settled into the same routine for months. Mary would bring me meals throughout the day, staying with me to ensure that I finished all of it. Afterward she would spend time telling me stories as if I were a small child while combing me hair or rubbing me feet.
Each morning, me father would come to see me, but he would only stay a short while before heading out to help Eoin with whatever task he could. He would no return home until I was well, but he refused to be a guest in the Conalls’ home without helping as much as he could.
The afternoons were spent with Bri and Adelle. It was me favorite time of day, for they were the only ones who seemed to have enough faith in Morna’s medicines no to tip-toe around me in fear that any stress might cause me to die. They talked freely, and I usually ended up laughing so hard that the coughing would come back. That was when Mary would shoo them from the room.
I could tell by the angle of the light through the window that ’twas almost time for Bri and Adelle to arrive. As if summoned by magic, they appeared just as they crossed me mind.
“Hello, hello! You look much better today, hon. Time for you to get outside and stretch your legs, build your strength. It’s certainly nice enough for you to do so, and you’ve spent so much time in bed. It’s important for you to start re-building your muscle strength. I’m sure you’re as weak as a new babe now. I think tomorrow one of us will get you outside.” Adelle moved across the room to open the window wide, allowing the sunlight and fresh air to seep inside.
“I’ll no argue with ye. Me legs have shriveled away to nothing. Come and sit with me.”
Both ladies hiked up their dresses and sat with their legs crisscrossed on the end of the bed.
“Mom’s right. You’re looking much better. What did you think that first night I came and stuck that needle in your rear end?” Bri laughed and patted me lightly on the knee.
“I dinna know what ye were doing, but I was far too ill to care. Truthfully, I doona remember much of these past months. Only the past few weeks are clear to me.”
Adelle fidgeted, and I could tell she had something she really wanted to say but dinna know if she should.
“What is it, Adelle? Please doona be like Mary and speak to me like I might die from real conversation.”
Adelle laughed and stopped bouncing the bed with her jittery movements. “Fine. What have you decided about Baodan? You do remember your father speaking to you about him, right?”
I did remember, but hadna thought of it at all. “Aye, I do remember, but he has no mentioned it again, and Baodan has never spoken of it. I know he’s come to sit with me each evening the past few nights, but he doesna speak much of anything, and I’m no so keen to bring up his proposal.”
Bri spoke this time. “Is that all you remember of your time with Baodan? Only the last few days?”
“Aye, is there more that I should remember? If there is, I am lost to it. The fever made everything a dream.”
Bri stood and went to shut the door to my bedchamber so that we could go on with our conversation undisturbed. “Yes, but I’m not surprised that you don’t remember it. Baodan has been at your side every day. When you were at your worst, it was he that swapped your bloodied rags and lifted you so that we could clean you and change your bedding. He wiped your cheeks with a wet cloth and brushed the hair out of your face, only leaving you when we instructed him that he must. It’s only been since you’ve been more yourself that he’s lessened his visits.”
’Twas surprising to me that he’d done so, and I dinna understand his reasons. “Does he feel that much guilt over what happened, do ye think? ’Twas no his fault. I jumped into the water all on me own. If he’d no been there, I would’ve died that day.”
“No, I don’t think he feels guilty at all. I think he’s quite taken with you, dear. I think perhaps I was wrong to react the way I did to your father’s news of what he’d asked him.”Adelle scrunched her face up in a childlike fashion meant to show her remorse.
“What are ye saying, Adelle? Ye believe that I should marry him? He’s no even asked me himself. Perhaps, he’s changed his mind.”
“No, I’m not saying you should say yes. But just get to know him. See if anything is there. And I don’t think he’s changed his mind. I heard him asking Mary earlier if he could take you somewhere away from the castle tomorrow because he had something that he needed to ask you. Go with him and think about whatever he says to you. I think he’s a good man. It’s rare to see someone be so attentive, and he hardly knows you yet.”
“Mom’s right. He’s been incredibly caring toward you, but Blaire, just know that you are welcome to stay here forever if you wish. Truly. Do not say yes to him because you feel that you have no other choice.” She stood and motioned to her mother to do the same. “We should go, though. I expect he will be along shortly.”
I called out to Bri hoping to speak to her alone about the one thing that had hung at the edge of me mind even in the depths of me worst fevers. “Wait, Bri. Can I speak to ye a moment alone?”
“Of course.” Bri stepped back inside, and Adelle waved at me befor
e disappearing from the doorway. She sat down on the chair seated next to me bed and crossed her legs. “What’s up?”
I hesitated, not wanting to show how much I cared but knowing that she would know as soon as I said the words. “Arran. Did he…did he come at all while I was ill?”
I knew she would no lie to me and, as I’d hoped, she played no games as she told me right away. “No he didn’t, and he sent no letter back in response to what you sent him.”
“Is it possible that he dinna receive it? Mayhap the messenger lost it along the way.”
“No, I’m so sorry, but I spoke to the man I sent myself, and he told me that he delivered it to Arran’s hands directly. The man has no reason to lie.”
“Aye, I suppose ’tis true. Thank ye, that’s all I needed to know. If ye doona mind, I’d like to be alone now.”
Bri stood and nodded once. “Absolutely. I’ll see you in the morning. Get some rest.”
She’d only just made it to the doorway when Baodan entered, and they passed each other on the way. He smiled at me but remained at the doorway. I was thankful it seemed he would no be staying long.
“I’m sorry that I dinna come to see ye earlier today. ’Tis only I’ve been working on something for ye. Do ye think ye would feel up to accompanying me somewhere tomorrow? We will no go far from the castle, and I’ve received Mary’s blessing to get ye out of doors for awhile.”
Images of Arran reading me note, learning that I was dying and choosing not to come to me side teased me, stabbing their way through me heart. He was truly gone from me life. I pushed away the pain as I smiled as brightly as I could at him. “Aye, I would like that verra much.”
“I am verra pleased to hear it, lass. ’Til then.”
He ducked under the door, and I rolled over so that I could stare into the setting sun. Perhaps the light would burn all images of Arran from me mind.
Chapter 32
“Nay, lass. I doona think ’tis a good idea for ye to strain yerself right before ye go outside. That will be hard enough for ye as ’tis.” Mary lay the dress she’d picked out for me over the back of the chair next to me bed and pulled back the curtain so that the morning light would shine in.
“Do ye want me to scream for Adelle and Bri, or will ye oblige and help me yerself? I’m sure they would be more than happy to do it.”
“Nay, lass. Please doona go hollering, ye will only get Adelle to do the same herself. If ye insist, I shall have a bath drawn for ye, and if ye wish to wear another dress I shall retrieve it.”
I smiled triumphantly as I pushed meself upright and swung me shaky legs over the side of the bed. “I insist. I doona wish to be proposed to looking the mess that I do now. I can smell meself. It has been far too long since I’ve had more than a cloth bath.”
“Aye, fine. I do agree that ye are smelling a wee bit like old cheese. Do ye have any other demands of me?”
Mary feigned annoyance, but I could tell she was happy to help and glad that I was feeling well enough to bathe. “Aye, can ye have Bri and Adelle come up anyway? I’d like Bri to pin up me hair, and Adelle willna like it if she is left out of the preparations.”
“Aye, I suppose ye are right about that as well. Give me a moment, and I shall fetch them.”
“No need. We’re here. We saw Baodan this morning, and he told us you agreed to accompany him so we figured we would come and help you get ready.”
Adelle came across the room to give me a light hug and help me to me feet as Bri smiled and extended a treasure in me direction.
“Look what I’ve brought for you! I went down into the spell room and got it from your pile of clothes. It will make you feel more human, and you’ll like what it does to the way your dress looks.”
“Aye, I know. It can work miracles.” I reached for the bra and clung it tightly to me chest. “But do ye no think that he will notice it?”
Adelle laughed heartily, garnering a ‘lower yer voice before I thump ye’ look from Mary. “If it was me accompanying Baodan today, then yes, he might. But I don’t think you’re the sort of girl to let a man pass a base on the first date.”
“Base?” Mary and I said the word in unison, sending both Bri and Adelle into a fit of laughter.
“Never mind, dear. Let’s start getting you cleaned up.”
Adelle led me toward the tub as Mary directed the men who brought in the steaming pales of water. Before long, I was being tugged and pushed and prodded in different directions as all three women worked diligently to prepare me for the outing.
* * *
The Castle Formerly Known as Kinnaird
If Arran was counting right, he felt certain that Edana should have been swelling more beneath her clothes than she seemed to be. It was true that he was no expert in such matters, but it had been at least four and a half moons since he’d shared her bed, and he could still not see the slightest change in her physical appearance.
He’d also taken notice of how well she seemed to be feeling. She’d not been troubled by the bouts of ill stomach he knew many women suffered during their beginning stages. It had been bothering him for days, the wondering, and he knew he could not keep his questions inside any longer.
He reached across the table where they were eating their evening meal and layed his hand gently on her shoulder. “Edana. I wish to ask ye something, lass, but I doona want ye to be angry at the question.”
She sat straight back in her chair, malice clear in her eyes. Each day he could sense her disdain for him a little more sharply.
“Why would ye think I should get angry? Are ye suggesting that I get angry often?”
There was no reason to be gentle with her. He knew that regardless of what he said, she would find a reason to be upset by it. “Aye. ’Tis exactly what I suggest. Ye stay angry all the time. Ye scream at people who have done naught but help ye, and I believe ye are a liar.”
He watched as her face blanched, and something deep within in him told him his suspicions were right.
“What do ye mean? What could I have lied to ye about?”
“I doona believe that ye are with child, Edana. Ye have no swollen at all, and it has been too long for ye no to have done so.”
She stood from the table, and Arran could see that her hands shook with rage. “I canna believe that ye would insult me so. ’Tis only that ye canna see how I’ve grown with me clothes on. Kinnaird women never swell much with their children.”
Arran stood as well, his confidence in his suspicion growing with every word she uttered. “Aye? Is that so, lass? Then, why doona ye take yer dress off for me right here and show me how yer belly grows?”
She stepped away from him as if she was afraid he would rip her dress right off of her. He couldn’t deny he was tempted, but he was not the sort of man to disgrace a woman in such a way. Besides, he didn’t need to. Her reaction was more than enough to make him certain she was not carrying his child.
“I’ll do no such thing, ye wretched bastard. Do ye think ye can no touch me for months and then have me take me clothes off? I willna allow ye to do so. When yer child arrives, ye will see what an ignorant fool ye have been.”
She turned from him, fleeing the castle, but he did not go after her as he sat down to finish his meal. She was right about one thing. He was a fool. A fool to believe his wretched bitch of a wife, and a fool to have denied the one woman who had really ever loved him when deep down, he had sensed that Edana had lied to him the night she’d come to him with news of their coming child.
Whatever misery a life with Edana would bring to him, tonight he felt as if he deserved every bit of it.
* * *
If it was the Conall messenger again, Tormod would kill him. Surely the lad wouldn’t be so foolish to knock upon his door twice. ’Twas late, and night had long since settled over the village.
He opened the door and was nearly knocked to the floor as Edana threw her arms around him, weeping. “’Tis over, Tormod. Arran knows. He knows that I am no carry
ing his child.”
He unwrapped her arms from his neck and pushed her away from him. “Slow down, lass. What do ye mean? Did ye tell him that?”
His face flushed red with anger at the thought. If she’d been so stupid, he would kill her this night. If she’d ruined their plan with her mouth, he would not put up with her a moment more.
“Nay, I dinna tell him anything, but he told me that he doesna believe that I am carrying his child. He has noticed that me belly has no grown, and he thinks that I have lied to him.”
He turned away from her to grab the glass bottle that he’d patiently held on to for months. “Then doona worry, lass. All is fine. If he suspects that ye are lying then it only means that now is the time for ye to take the herbs. Once he believes that ye have lost the child, he will blame himself for upsetting ye so. Here.” He extended the bottle in her direction. “Take it tonight, lass, once ye are abed. Take every last drop. I shall see ye in a few days after all is done.”
She wrapped her arms around him once more and kissed him quickly on the cheek. “Aye, I shall drink it as soon as I return to the castle. I love ye, Tormod.”
He opened the door to show her outside. “Aye, lass, I know ye do.”
Once she was gone, he shut the door to his home waiting until she was far enough ahead of him that he could follow her unnoticed. Tonight would be a wonderful night. Edana’s death was finally upon him.
Chapter 33
Edana took her time getting back to the castle after obtaining the herbal solution from Tormod. She wandered the streets of her small village, the only home she’d ever known, with an inexplicable feeling of unease. ’Twas as if she was seeing the village and the people in it in a way she’d never seen them before, as if she were saying goodbye.
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