by K. A. Linde
Fuck, I mean, my shoes were off, my wallet was out of my pocket, and my phone was even charging on the nightstand. I couldn’t have come home alone; that much was for sure. Austin wouldn’t have gone to the trouble. I wasn’t sure he even got hangovers anymore.
Slowly, I eased into a standing position and took the Tylenol for my splitting headache. I stripped out of the clothes I’d worn last night and found a pair of basketball shorts and a T-shirt. Then, I palmed my cell phone and headed out into the living room.
“Morning, sunshine,” Austin called from the living room. He had SportsCenter on in the background and was drinking a Bloody Mary.
“How can you even look at alcohol?”
“We have a special relationship.”
I laughed and then held my head in pain. A special relationship to say the least.
“What time is it anyway?”
“One in the afternoon,” Austin announced.
“Fuck,” I groaned.
I slouched into a chair and pulled up the messages on my phone. I’d ignored Miranda all day yesterday, but fuck, she had filled up my text messages, and I had seventeen voice mails. Christ!
No way was I in the mood to listen to any of those. From a brief scroll through the texts, I could already see that it was her same shit. I’d deal with that conversation when I got home. I didn’t want to talk to her about the shit she’d tried to pull or the argument we’d gotten into.
I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t an idiot. She had tried to hide shit from me and then acted like a cornered animal when I’d confronted her. Despite our long and damaged history, she hadn’t thought I’d call it quits. No matter that I’d wanted to divorce her a year ago. I’d drawn up papers and everything, but she had gotten pregnant and I’d said I’d give us one more chance. Then chance after chance after chance after marriage counseling chance I’d given her until her latest bout of bullshit. I’d given her so many chances she never thought I’d walk. Now that I’d finally had enough, I knew what she was really freaking out about—losing her paycheck.
“So, you banging Heidi now?” Austin asked.
I jerked up so hard that I winced and cradled my head. “I’m what?” I shouted.
Austin’s eyes narrowed. “She was here last night. Saw her come out of your room when I got back around two thirty.”
“She was here?”
“Bro, were you that fucked up that you don’t remember fucking her? Because that would explain why she looked so upset,” Austin said.
“You think I slept with her?” I asked, getting paler by the second.
“I mean, I don’t know for sure, but why else would a hot chick be leaving your room at two thirty in the morning? Plus, with the shit going down with Miranda, I thought you’d wanted some fun at this reunion.”
“What stuff with Miranda?”
“Dunno, man. Can’t be good if you’re here without her.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I said, my brain finally catching up. “Heidi was upset?”
Austin shrugged. “You really don’t remember shit, do you?”
“Fuck. I’m screwed, aren’t I?”
“As far as I see it.” Austin pushed his Bloody Mary toward me. “I think you need this more than I do.”
“Thanks, but I have to figure out what the fuck happened last night.” I tried to shake out the cobwebs in my mind, but everything was just missing. I hadn’t blacked out like this since college. Jesus, I had been an idiot.
I hauled ass back into the room I was staying in and dialed Heidi’s number. It rang and rang and rang before her voice mail finally picked up.
“Hi, this is Heidi. You know I hate voice mails. If it’s important, text me.”
Beep.
I hung up before leaving a message she’d never listen to.
“Fuck, Heidi,” I grumbled as I dialed her number again.
It didn’t even go through all the rings before pushing to voice mail.
A minute later, Heidi sent me a text.
Let’s just end this the way we did last night.
I stared at that text message with a growing sense of panic in my chest. What the hell happened last night? Where did we leave things?
I didn’t want to call and be like, Hey, did we fuck last night? I was sure I would have remembered that if we had. I couldn’t imagine having sex with Heidi being anything less than unforgettable.
I responded to her message.
Not good enough for me. Answer your phone.
I dialed her number again, and this time, at almost the last moment, Heidi answered. It was as if she hadn’t been sure she was actually going to do it.
“Hey,” she said softly.
“Hey. Thanks for answering.”
“I’m not sure why I did.”
“Because leaving me at two thirty in the morning, drunk off my ass, is not how you wanted to end things.”
“Yeah. How are you feeling this morning?”
“Hungover and with a severe lack of memory of several hours of last night,” I admitted.
“I see,” she said.
“Care to fill me in on the details?”
“Nothing happened, if that’s what you’re asking,” she said with bite in her voice. “I told you I wouldn’t do anything with you while you were still with Miranda. Anyway, do you think I’d take advantage of someone as drunk as you were last night?”
“No, I didn’t think you would. I just didn’t know if I’d made a total fool of myself in front of you.”
“If insinuating that I was going to fuck Brandon McCain because he’d flattered me with his obnoxious attention, getting so wasted that you were drinking beer straight from a pitcher, and blacking out as soon as I got you into bed make you a total fool, then yes.”
I winced. Great.
That was all pretty shitty, but at least I hadn’t had sex with her and somehow forgotten. That would have been way worse.
“Yeah. Sorry about all of that.”
“It’s fine, Landon. It’s fine. I should just go. I don’t think we should be talking anymore.”
“Heidi, please. You said that we were going to talk.”
“Yeah, and then you got wasted!”
“I know. Have brunch with me.”
“You cannot ask me out!” she cried.
“It’s just brunch, Heidi. You said we’d talk after the reunion. Can I call in that favor?”
“No.”
“Heidi,” I groaned. “Please.”
She sighed heavily into the phone and left me waiting and wondering. “Fine. Brunch. Half hour enough time?”
“Yes, that’s plenty of time. Thank you. Café J?”
“All right. I’ll see you there, Landon.”
I hung up the phone with a sigh. I could make this right. I hadn’t done anything unforgivable. Heidi would come around. I might be in the process of leaving Miranda, but I didn’t want to lose ever having a chance with Heidi.
The next twenty minutes, I showered off the alcohol still oozing from my pores, shaved, and changed into navy chinos and a polo. I still had plenty of time to get to Café J, which was one of my favorite restaurants in town. I grabbed my phone, and it started ringing.
Jensen.
I rolled my eyes. At least it wasn’t Miranda.
“Hey, bro,” I said when I answered the phone. I busied myself around the room, stuffing my wallet into my pocket and throwing on my large-faced watch.
“Landon, I hate to call you so early in the afternoon, considering your condition last night,” Jensen said.
He was all business. It was the tone of his voice that finally stilled me.
“Yeah. Last night was rough. What’s up?”
“Miranda just showed up at my door, demanding to see you.”
“She did what?” I cried.
“I guess she took the early flight out of Tampa this morning and just got into town. She came straight here, thinking that you would be here.”
“Did you tell her I was at Aust
in’s?”
Jensen sighed. “Of course I did. She’s your wife.”
“Fuck, Jensen.”
“Handle your shit, Landon, or let me help. Otherwise, you’re going to keep ending up right back at this same place.”
I cursed Jensen under my breath. He was right, which was why I hated him more for saying it. “Thanks for the heads-up.”
My mind was reeling as I hung up. I should have known that Miranda would follow me. What had I expected from her? She had done crazier things in the last couple of years than hop on a plane to see me in Lubbock. And, with the way I had left things, I should have anticipated this. But I’d been so pissed that I wasn’t thinking straight, which was becoming more apparent as the day went on.
I rushed out to the living room. Austin was lounging back with his Bloody Mary, texting.
“Miranda is on her way,” I told him. I could hear the panic in my voice.
Austin turned his head to look at me and grimaced. “That’s bad, right?”
“Probably. I have to make a phone call. Will you answer the door if she shows up?”
“Well, I was going to see if you wanted to get lunch with me and Patrick, but that sounds out of the question.”
“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be able to hang with you guys now.” Not that I’d planned to for lunch anyway. “Can you answer? I have to make a call before she gets here.”
“I’ll run interference,” Austin agreed, waving me away.
I dialed Heidi’s number as I dashed back into my room.
I was going to be late. Definitely late. Fuck, I might have to cancel.
No, that wasn’t an option. I had to talk to her. I had to apologize for last night and explain what was going on. If she knew the truth, then she would understand where I was coming from.
After a few rings, the line cut to her voice mail. I hung up and blew out a harsh breath as I dialed her number again.
“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” I breathed over and over as the phone rang.
She must be in the car or something because it went to voice mail again. I swore loudly and was about to dial her number again when I heard the doorbell.
“Fuck,” I cried.
I pocketed my phone and exited the room. Austin had already set down his Bloody Mary and swaggered over to the front door. He shot me a curious look over his shoulder before opening the door.
“Miranda,” Austin said, as if he were surprised. “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”
“Where’s Landon?” she cut in, skipping all pleasantries.
“He’s a bit hungover, but he’s here.”
Miranda elbowed past him to get inside.
He blew out a breath. “Come on in.”
Miranda’s eyes found me across the room, and I saw the determination in her gaze. She was a woman on a mission. She had clearly thought of nothing else but getting to me since I left. But she still managed to look perfect. Her long bleach-blonde bob was straight and pristine. Her makeup was flawless with cherry-red lipstick. Even her outfit—a white knee-length skirt paired with a hot-pink silk blouse—was pressed and perfect. If I hadn’t known her, I never would have guessed that this was a woman who had been falling apart.
“Landon!” she said, rushing over to me. She threw her arms around my neck and pressed her body against mine. “I’ve been so worried.”
I patted her back. My eyes found Austin’s across the room. His expression was pinched. He still thought that I’d slept with Heidi last night. He must be thinking horrible things about me. Either that or he truly despised Miranda as much as everyone else and had hoped this wouldn’t happen.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” I asked. I held her at arm’s length.
“What am I doing here?” she asked in disbelief. “After you walked out of the house without me, what did you expect me to do?”
“Stay home in Tampa.”
Her eyes widened. “I could never do that, Landon. You had to know I could never watch you walk away and be okay with it. I was devastated. I had to follow you. I had to make this right.”
Austin cleared his throat. “Sorry to interrupt. I’m going to…head out and get some lunch with Patrick. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Austin,” I said with a sigh. I waved at him as he practically bolted out of the house to avoid the conversation that I so desperately wished to back out of.
As soon as Austin shut the door, Miranda reached for my hands. “I’m so, so sorry, Landon. I am. Truly. You have to know how sorry I am about all of this.”
I pulled my hands back from her. “I don’t actually. You seemed like you meant what you said.”
“You know I didn’t. I was frustrated and worried about you when you heard me on the phone with Janice. It’s not every day that we have to face the news from your doctor that you might never be able to play golf again.”
The breath left my lungs in a whoosh, and I took a step back. Even hearing those words out of her mouth made my stomach clench and my body seize. I’d tried not to think those exact words. I’d tried to block out the doctor telling me that I’d reinjured my back in the same spot as before. I’d tried to forget him telling me that, if I didn’t stop, if I didn’t take time off to heal, I would never golf again. And, even then, there were no guarantees.
“No, I’d hoped to never have to hear that,” I said. “But I also didn’t expect for you to tell Janice that you didn’t want to have kids after we’d spent the last year doing everything possible to make that happen, then blow up on me when I asked you about it.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and within seconds, she was sniveling into her hands. Her shoulders were shaking. Her body was racked with sobs. The composed woman that I knew disappeared.
“I’m sorry,” she blubbered. “I’m so sorry. It was a joke between girls. I swear.”
“Well, it wasn’t a funny joke considering we lost a child and I’ve catered to your every whim the last year in an attempt to make it right. Then you tell her that you don’t want a kid to end up like a Wright so you’re not having one. Excuse me if I don’t think that’s funny.”
“It was stress,” she went on. “I know I shouldn’t have said it. I didn’t mean it. Everything I said was me being worried about your career and came out all wrong. It wasn’t anything else. I want you to get better. I want you to do what you love again. You know that you’re my first priority. Always. And I flew all this way to make it right.”
Her eyes came up to meet mine. They were bloodshot, and tears streamed down her face.
“Landon, let me make this right,” she gasped out.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I knew exactly who that was. I knew where I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing. But here was my wife, my callous and hardened wife, laying it all out for me. I was so tired of all the shit that we had been through. I didn’t know if I believed her when she had she had been joking or that my career was her first priority, but I’d have to be a different man, a worse man, to not hear her out.
“One more chance, Miranda,” I told her. “Just one and if I ever feel this way again. I’m gone. Do you understand?”
She nodded fiercely. “You never will. I promise.”
Six
Heidi
Going to Café J to have brunch with Landon was an idiotic idea. I knew that down to my bones, yet I couldn’t say no to him. I’d tried, but when he had pleaded with me, I had been a goner.
There was never going to be a real relationship between us. I wouldn’t come between him and Miranda. I wouldn’t be that kind of girl.
But, still, I hoped.
I hoped for the day when he would tell me that he wasn’t just separated, but that he’d finalized a divorce with Miranda.
It was a bad, cruel thing to hope for.
Asking for a marriage to be ruined was bad Karma, and I needed all the good vibes I could get in my life. I’d had enough hard times, and I knew better.
Still…it made
my chest ache to think about that one kiss. And, even though he’d been drunk the night before, my blood had heated when he asked me if I liked to be on top. It had taken all the willpower in my body not to give in and forget about being a responsible adult for once.
Yet here I was, driving out to see him.
As if I honestly believed we could go back to being friends after that kiss.
He’d cut off all contact with me because our conversations had gone from him finally having someone he could talk to in his life to deep, emotional conversations. To talking late into the night. To wanting to wake up and call him. To wanting to talk to him every day just to tell him about my day. To wanting to fly out there and see his smile to match the laugh I could draw out of him.
And then New Year’s. When our conversations had gone from everything but admitted feelings to almost crossing a line we would never have been able to come back from.
He’d ended it for a reason.
We probably should have been smarter and stuck to that.
Too late now.
He’d had his tongue down my throat, and I certainly wasn’t about to forget it. Even though the sane side of my brain told me I should want to forget.
I pulled into the Café J and killed the engine. It was busy, and the parking lot was full. I hurried inside, and after looking around and seeing Landon wasn’t there, I put my name down for a table for two.
“Should be about fifteen minutes,” the hostess said.
“Thanks.”
I took a seat on the bench to wait for Landon and pulled out my phone. I had two missed calls from him but no voice mail or text messages. Odd.
I dialed Landon’s number and waited. He wasn’t like me. He didn’t avoid phone calls like the plague. He almost always answered immediately. But, this time, his voice mail actually picked up.
“Hey. This is Landon Wright, and you’ve reached my voice mail. I’m not here right now, but if you leave a message, I’ll get back to you.”
Beep.
I ended the call. If I hated voice mails, I wasn’t about to leave one for him. Still, it was strange.
“Martin,” the hostess called.
“That’s me!” I waved my hand and stood.