by K. A. Linde
“Where are we going next?” he asked as the sun was finally setting on the horizon. “Flips? For pool?”
“No,” I said with a sigh. “Hank’s.”
Landon glanced over at me in confusion. “But Hank’s was demolished.”
“I know.” I swiped at the tear in my eye at the mention that my father’s beloved bar had been torn down by Wright Construction to put up high-end condominiums. And that I’d then gone and worked for the people who had done it.
I stopped the car in front of the condos, and Landon and I both slid out. I nodded my head at the small park across the street. It was deserted at this hour, and we easily found a park bench that faced the condos. As I faced the building that used to be my home away from home, where I’d spent more hours than my own home, tears poured out of my eyes. And I let them. I let myself feel all the pain.
“I miss him,” I finally admitted. “I miss him so much.”
Landon wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “I know.”
“I miss the man he used to be. When he used to be a good father. When he didn’t do drugs, then sell drugs, then fucking bankroll the bar with his drug money to try to keep it afloat. I wished he hadn’t been the kind of dad who brought strange women over all the time. Married women. The kind who I never really knew their names, and they switched too often for me to care. I wished I hadn’t had to clean up his fucking messes all the time. Help him in his drunken stupor and cry myself to sleep when he was in a drunken rage so bad that only passing out would get him to stop.
“But he loved me. You know…despite all of that…he loved me. He tried to provide for me and let me do anything I wanted. But it…wasn’t parenting. After Mom left, he was surviving. And letting me do anything I wanted wasn’t charity. I’m lucky I had Emery and that her mom helped me out as much as she did.”
“Maybe he’s changed. Why don’t you reach out and talk to him? You don’t know; he might surprise you.”
“No, I can’t.” I swiped at my eyes.
“But why?”
I shook my head. “Because.”
“Heidi—”
“Because he spent all of my college funds on drugs!” I shouted, standing up and throwing my arms out. I let out the last ounce of depressing news. The part I’d held back from everyone. “He spent all the money that my mom had left me for college. He pawned off all her jewelry and every last thing that had ever belonged to her. And he left me with nothing. Now, even though I’m working my ass off, I’m broke as hell, Landon. I need this job more than life itself. And it’s all his fault.”
“Fuck,” Landon whispered.
“Yeah. So, he gets one day. I give myself one day to miss him. That’s all he deserves.”
Twenty-Eight
Landon
Spending that day with Heidi, when she was at her most vulnerable, had changed everything. I had fallen for her. Completely, utterly, unequivocally.
And I was a fucking asshole.
I knew why she needed this job. I now knew without question why this was so important to her. Yet I was gambling with it. I was gambling with her. I could feel the delicate tightrope we were walking on, and I feared our feet would slip if I wasn’t careful.
I didn’t know how to be more careful.
Sunday morning, Heidi was wrapped in my arms when I got a text from Jensen.
You still coming to church?
“Fuck,” I spat.
“Hmm?” Heidi asked, peering up at me with sleep-deprived eyes.
“I forgot it’s Sunday. I’m supposed to meet Jensen for church. Want to go with me?”
“Won’t that look bad?” she mumbled.
I gritted my teeth and nodded. “Yeah, probably. Fuck, I’m sorry. You can stay here and keep sleeping. I’ll be back in about an hour, okay?”
“All right,” she said with a big yawn. “Come back to me soon, okay?”
“God, I wish you could go with me.”
“One day,” she said, leaning into me for a kiss.
“One day soon,” I promised.
I hastily changed into a suit and darted over to the church we’d been going to since I was little. My mom had been an avid churchgoer, even before she found out about the cancer. Of course, we hadn’t known how bad it was until she was on her deathbed. But it made sense now why she had been so religious about the church service. She must have been scared with five children and a life-threatening illness.
I arrived just in time to make the service. Jensen, Emery, Austin, Morgan, Sutton, Maverick, and little baby Jason were all seated in the front row, like a defending army. Even though my family was super fucked up and carried more baggage than an airplane in a year, we were always here.
Lubbock was one of those towns where church service was mandatory, but we Wrights took it to an extreme. It was new for me though. I’d been gone for a long time. I’d only gone to church when I was home for the holidays. I definitely hadn’t gone when I was in Tampa. So, remembering that this was a thing we always did tripped me up on Sundays.
“Sorry,” I muttered as I sank into the seat Jensen had left for me at the end of the aisle.
“Where were you?” he asked.
“My alarm didn’t go off.”
Jensen shot me a look that said he didn’t believe me. And he was right. Not that I’d let him know that.
Emery leaned forward and waved. “Hey, Landon.”
“Em.”
Her eyes said enough to me without words. She asked, How’s Heidi?
Doing okay.
Good. I worry.
I know. I’m watching out for her.
She nodded her head at Jensen. You going to talk to him?
I sighed and nodded. Yeah.
Thank God. She breathed out in relief and sat back.
Jensen shot me a questioning look, but the service started before he could say anything. My mind was filled with the conversation that I knew I needed to have with Jensen, and I couldn’t seem to concentrate on what was being said. I also felt pretty shitty about leaving Heidi in my bed even if she was going to just sleep away the rest of the morning.
Luckily, the service was over soon enough, and the congregation stood and began to mingle. Emery jumped up and hurried over to her sister, Kimber, who was holding her youngest daughter, Bethany, and trying to corral Lilyanne. Austin fingered his pocket for what I guessed was a flask and tried to leave, but Morgan was smacking his arm and silently arguing with him. I knew it wouldn’t do much good. Also, I should probably help, but I didn’t.
Sutton was the one who came over. “Here, hold your nephew, you heathen,” she said, thrusting Jason into my arms.
I laughed and softly cradled the baby. He was completely passed out and hadn’t made a peep all service. And holding him in my arms like this made my chest ache. A family was something I had wanted ever since my father died.
“He’s too cute and little,” I told her.
“He’s adorable, and thank God. With how little sleep I’m getting, he’d better be.”
I laughed, and she grinned.
Sutton was the baby, only twenty-one years old, and, she’d somehow had her own baby before everyone, except Jensen. It was almost unfair. But I couldn’t begrudge her the happiness. She was still glowing with joy. We had all thought that Sutton’s shotgun wedding was because of this little guy in my arms. Yet she seemed to genuinely love her husband, Maverick. Against all odds, Sutton was the happiest of us all and the one with the least amount of baggage. Maybe because she had only been one when our mom died and eleven when our dad died, she didn’t have as acute memories of the pain. Either way, I envied her.
“What are you doing for your birthday?” I asked. “It’s coming up. Big twenty-two.”
“Ugh,” she groaned. “Jensen planned the freaking Charity Benefit for the same weekend. So, probably getting a babysitter and going to the dumb event.”
“I didn’t schedule the date for the Benefit,” Jensen said. “I wouldn’t have put it on
your birthday, but Emery and I would be happy to babysit the night before if you would like a night out.”
Her eyes lit up. “You’re serious?”
“I know a thing or two about babies. We can manage.”
“You’re the best!” she said.
Maverick appeared at the sound of her squeal, and she filled him in.
“Thanks, man,” he said, holding his hand out to Jensen.
Jensen shook it and gave him a curious look. I was sure Jensen still believed that Maverick only wanted Sutton for her money, but it sure didn’t look like it.
Maverick took Jason from me, and I turned to face Jensen.
He raised an eyebrow. “You want to talk?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Outside?”
“Sure.”
We left the chapel together and wandered out into the brisk morning air. Lubbock had that strange sense of being desertlike. No matter how hot it got during the day, mornings and nights were always significantly cooler. Texas weather was strangely erratic.
Being around Jensen always made me realize how much I missed him when I didn’t see him. No matter that we lived in the same town again and he worked only a couple of floors above me, I never saw him. He was a loner by choice, which had only intensified post-Vanessa. I was glad that he had someone even if that someone had to be Emery. But I couldn’t talk; I was dating her best friend.
“I assume this is about Miranda,” Jensen said as we headed out to his truck.
“No actually,” I said. I hadn’t even thought about Miranda since she left.
“Oh?”
“I’ve started seeing someone,” I told him.
“Oh,” Jensen said with a sigh. “Already? You couldn’t wait until the divorce was finalized?”
“Yeah. It kind of happened unexpectedly.”
“And you’re telling me this…because it concerns me somehow?”
“I’m telling you this as my brother, all right? Not as the CEO of Wright Construction,” I carefully told him.
“Oh, boy, here it comes. Wright family drama. Lay it on me.”
“I’m seeing one of my employees.”
Jensen sighed and looked up at the clear sky above us. “Seriously? What did I do to deserve this?”
“You’re an ass,” I told him with a laugh.
“Fuck, Landon. Did you come to me because you wanted me to tell you how bad of an idea this is? And, God…don’t tell me who it is. Otherwise, I’ll be complicit.”
“I came to you for advice, I guess,” I told him. I really wasn’t sure what I’d come to him for. “And maybe a new job?”
Jensen laughed at that. “Advice and a new job? Jobs just appear out of thin air now? Grow on trees?”
“You’re the CEO. You can move me.”
“Well, you’re talking to your brother, not the CEO, and your brother thinks you’re an idiot for not being able to keep it in your pants.”
“Thanks, dick. It’s not like that.”
“I’m sure.”
“It’s not about the sex.”
“Don’t you know that rule number one is, Don’t fuck your employees?”
“Can you move me or not?”
“I really don’t want to know who this is, do I?” Jensen asked me.
I hesitated for a second and then shook my head. “No.”
“I’ll talk to Morgan,” he said with a shake of his head, “but I can’t promise you anything. If I were you, I’d straighten your shit out first. We don’t need to pay a fortune for the best therapist in the state of Texas because you lost your game while your head was wrapped around some girl you’d known for a couple of weeks.”
I opened my mouth to protest. I’d known Heidi a hell of a lot longer. But he was right; I didn’t need to tell him any details about who I was seeing. There was only one person on my floor who I’d known before getting the job, and deduction skills weren’t that difficult.
“Just stay away from her until we can figure this out, okay?”
“How long will that be?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I don’t know, Landon. Maybe, in a few weeks, you’ll find someone who doesn’t work on your floor, and we won’t have to move you at all.”
I gritted my teeth. “I don’t think that’s happening.”
“You fall for someone faster than any of us,” Jensen said, as if it were a crime. “You fell for Miranda this fast and married her six months later. Imagine if you had slowed down and gotten to know her. Maybe we wouldn’t be dealing with this shit at all.”
“I don’t even want to hear it. You risked everything for Emery after only knowing her a few weeks, and now, you’re lecturing me?” I asked in disbelief. “I came to you for help as my brother. Don’t fucking judge me, man.”
Jensen held up his hands. “You’re right. I just worry. I thought you had enough on your plate without adding something else to the mix. It took four weeks to make this position for you. So, I’ll look into it, but stay away from her until then.”
I swallowed hard. “Fine.”
Even though I knew that I wouldn’t.
When I got home, I didn’t share my conversation with Heidi. I wanted to tell her that I was working on fixing the problem that kept us apart, but Jensen had made no promises. I didn’t want to get her hopes up, only for them to be dashed if he couldn’t come up with a solution.
The next morning, I went into physical therapy bright and early. Anjee greeted me with a friendly smile and started me on my warm-ups and stretches. Moving home to start physical therapy and getting a job with the company was supposed to help me de-stress, yet I was more stressed than ever. That meant my mental state was totally fucked up right now, destroying my whole reason for moving here in the first place. But Anjee always calmed me down, reminded me to keep my head in the game, and to heal right the first time so I could get back on my feet.
I knew she was right. In more than one way. I needed time, and it was the only thing I couldn’t actually rush.
I finished therapy at exactly the right time, feeling worn out and achy all over. Monday mornings were the worst because I had taken the weekends off. But I was glad that I’d gotten it out of the way. Then, I could play catch-up at work before everyone got there.
I slumped over in my chair when I finally made it to my office. My back was throbbing. I had really worked hard today. Harder than I had before. Something Anjee had said made me really want to do everything I could every minute I was with her to get my back to start improving. And, now, I was hating myself for it.
I popped a few Tylenol and then went through my emails. When I found the one that most interested me, I stopped and stared at the subject line.
Lead Engineer Job Offer
This was the job Heidi had applied for. I would know before she did whether or not she’d gotten it. My mouse hovered over the email. I wanted to read it. I wanted to find out if she had gotten the spot. I wanted to be the one to tell her and congratulate her and hold her.
But I couldn’t do it.
If she’d gotten the job, then she needed to hear it from someone else. Even if no one else knew that we were seeing each other, I knew, and it would feel like favoritism.
I forwarded the email over to Julia and Dennis, the head of engineering, and asked them to inform whoever had gotten the job. They probably thought I was being a dick by delegating out one of my tasks, but I didn’t care. Everyone thought that the Wright family were all dicks anyway. I didn’t mind feeding into our reputation a little bit if it saved my integrity.
Twenty-Nine
Landon
Heidi appeared in the office an hour later. We tried not to talk to each other or look at each other when she was here. But I caught myself doing it anyway. No matter how troublesome it was, it was impossible to look away from her. Especially when all I could think about was getting her back to my place and stripping her out of all those sexy work clothes she strutted around here in. Though today, of course, I was excited to find out about th
e promotion.
And I was glad that I didn’t know. If she had gotten it, I couldn’t spoil it, and if she hadn’t, I couldn’t ruin her day.
Julia rushed over to Heidi’s desk as soon as she showed up, and they chattered away. I caught a glimpse of them together as I headed for the restroom. My stomach was actually cramping. I was so nervous for her. I knew what this meant to her. I knew all too well.
When I stepped back out of the restroom though, I was shocked to find Heidi waiting for me.
“I got it!” she cried, biting her lip and looking like all she wanted to do was throw her arms around me and make out with me.
“You got it?” I said, playing dumb.
“The job! You’re looking at your new lead engineer!”
Her eyes darted back and forth, as if waiting for someone else to come around the corner and find us talking to each other.
“Congratulations!” I said. I wanted nothing more than to grab her around the middle and swing her around.
“Did you know?” she asked, beaming. “Did you already know? Had you known all weekend?”
I shook my head. “No, I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret all weekend.”
“Oh my God, Landon, I just…you know how much this means to me.”
“I do,” I said, taking a small step forward. “I really want to kiss you right now.”
“You can’t.”
But her eyes were bright, and her fingers curled into fists at her sides. I imagined them curling into my suit jacket, and I took another step forward.
“Just one.”
God, I knew I was supposed to stay away. I knew that I should step back and not take advantage of this situation, but I wanted to. I wanted to run my hands through her long hair and knot it in my fist as I fucked her from behind. I wanted to kiss her perfect pink lips—both sets—until they were swollen. I wanted to taste every inch of her body and then let her taste herself on my lips.
I wanted everything in that moment. And I could have nothing.