A Christmas Prayer

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  When Alexis finished reading her prayer, she smiled. She truly hoped God would deliver her from sadness and loneliness just as she’d asked him to. Strangely enough, she actually felt a little better. Maybe it was because she had faith that God would in fact bring joy into her life and change the way she felt. She’d already tried other methods, such as joining a grief support group, talking with her pastor, and seeing a grief counselor, and although she had eventually started to feel better, November and December were still difficult months for her. She also wasn’t sure why she felt fine on all the other holidays, such as Memorial Day, the Fourth of July, and Labor Day. But maybe it was because Thanksgiving and Christmas were the top two days for family get-togethers and to her, the idea of celebrating with family just wasn’t the same. She did have her sister and niece and her mom’s brothers and sisters, whom she loved dearly and would do anything for, but none of them could take the place of her mother. Her mom had been her mother, her sister, and her best friend all wrapped up in one, so how on earth could anyone ever fill those kinds of shoes? How could anyone love Alexis with the same genuine, unconditional love that her mom had given her? It just wasn’t possible, and Alexis knew she had to somehow accept that and be okay with it.

  As Alexis leaned back in her chair, her phone rang. It was her sister.

  “Hey,” Alexis said.

  “Hey, how’s it goin’?”

  “Okay. What about you?”

  Sabrina paused. “Not good.”

  “Why, what’s wrong?”

  “I need two hundred fifty dollars.”

  Alexis closed her eyes and gathered her composure, because it was always something when it came to Sabrina. Alexis should have known she needed money, because she rarely called for any other reason. She did this all the time.

  “What do you need it for?” Alexis asked.

  “Why do you always do that?” Sabrina spat. “It’s not like you don’t have it. The only thing that should matter, anyway, is that you know I’ll pay you back.”

  “No, see, that’s the problem. You almost never pay me back, and when you do I’ve had to ask you for it. Even then, you yell and curse like I don’t even have a right to question you.”

  “Look, sis, I’m sorry. Can you do it or not?”

  Sabrina apologizing? Now, that was a new one.

  “I need to know why, and if you can’t tell me, then so be it.”

  “Fine; if you must know, I need it to pay my electric bill. If I don’t do it by the end of the day, they’re gonna shut my lights off.”

  “What about Melvin?

  “What about him?”

  “Why can’t he pay it? And why do you keep doing this?”

  “Doing what, Alexis?”

  “Spending beyond your means and taking care of a man who doesn’t help you with anything. He works every single day, yet he spends his money elsewhere. Then on top of that, he’s been living with you all these years, not to mention he’s Courtney’s father, but he still won’t marry you.”

  “Well, Miss Thing, for the record, not everyone can snag some filthy rich CEO the way you have. And I would appreciate it if you would leave Melvin out of this.”

  “Sabrina, please. This has nothing to do with me. This is about you and the terrible choices you keep making. You have so much potential, and you could be doing so much better for yourself.”

  “Not everyone is as lucky as you. Some of us have to work for what we get.”

  “Oh, so now you think I don’t work?”

  “Not much. I mean, you travel around doing those speaking engagements, but that’s certainly not work. Anybody can get up and talk to a bunch of people.”

  “You know what?” Alexis said, switching her phone to her other ear. “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that. But what I do wanna talk about is why you won’t move out of a house that you can barely pay for. The rent is sky high, so why can’t you move into an apartment where the expenses are a lot lower? Because if you did, maybe you’d be able to pay your bills on time.”

  Alexis waited for a response, but Sabrina hung up on her. Just like that. And all because she didn’t want to hear anything Alexis had to say. What Sabrina wanted was for Alexis to give her the money and keep quiet. But Alexis wasn’t going to give her a thing. At least that’s what she’d decided before she caught sight of that email again, the one where C&G was offering her twenty thousand dollars. This, of course, made her feel guilty, and she definitely didn’t want her twelve-year-old niece to sleep in a house with no lights. So she called Sabrina back.

  “What’s your ComEd account number?” was all Alexis said. “That way, I can just pay it by phone.”

  “Why can’t you just give me the money, and let me pay my own bill?”

  “Look. Take it or leave it, Sabrina.”

  Sabrina hung up on Alexis again. But within seconds, she texted over her account number.

  If Alexis had been a cursing woman, she would have had a few choice words for Sabrina, but at the same time, she knew she’d be wasting her breath. With Sabrina, there was always drama, and it was never worth losing any sleep over. So instead, Alexis did what she always did. She came to Sabrina’s rescue—for the kazillionth time. Mostly, she did it for the welfare of her niece.

  Chapter 7

  Chase strolled into The Tuxson, looking as handsome as ever, and removed his sunglasses. His light gray tailor-made suit looked as though it wouldn’t wrinkle even if someone balled it up, and he wore the classiest shoes Alexis had seen on a man. She’d arrived about five minutes earlier and had been waiting for him in the lobby near the water fountain. She was glad to see him.

  “Hey, baby,” he said, hugging her and pecking her on the lips.

  “Hey yourself.”

  “Looking as beautiful as always, I see.”

  “Why, thank you,” she said, smiling. A few months ago, Chase had given her this stylish designer skirt suit for her birthday, and while it was a bit pricier than what she was willing to pay for any piece of clothing, she couldn’t deny how much she loved it. Fuchsia was one of her favorite colors, and Chase had remembered that.

  As they approached the same maître d’ who’d seated them for breakfast on Saturday, a group of men dressed in corporate attire walked toward them from the dining area. Alexis recognized a couple of them from Chase’s office.

  “Heading back?” Chase asked Frank, one of his VPs.

  “We are.”

  “And I trust you gentlemen enjoyed your lunch?” Chase asked three other men Alexis hadn’t seen before.

  “We did. Frank and John are taking very good care of us.”

  “Glad to hear it. Oh, and please excuse my manners. This is Alexis, my fiancée. Honey, you know Frank and John, but this is Bob, David, and Gerard. Their company is one of our top suppliers.”

  “It’s a pleasure meeting all of you,” she said, shaking their hands.

  They each responded and smiled at her, but then Bob looked at Chase. “No wonder you pushed us off on Frank and John. If I had a gorgeous woman like this, I’d do the same. Don’t blame you at all.”

  They all laughed.

  “I’ll see you guys at the four o’clock meeting,” Chase said.

  “Enjoy your lunch,” Bob said.

  As the men left the restaurant, the maître d’ led Chase and Alexis to a table for two by a window that overlooked the river. When he set their menus down and walked away, Alexis scanned her surroundings. After all these years, The Tuxson was still Mitchell’s premier restaurant and the place to take anyone who came to town.

  Alexis clasped her hands together and rested them on the table. “So how long will your suppliers be here?”

  “Through tomorrow or Thursday. But for the most part, Frank and John and a couple of my directors are handling the entire visit. I normally spend quite a bit of time with them, but because we have a new aerospace product launching next week, I need to focus on that. Enough about me, though. We’re here to celebrate that
huge speaker’s fee you’ve been offered. Baby, I am so proud of you, and this is only the beginning.”

  “It’s pretty exciting, and I still can’t believe it.”

  “Well, I believe it, and before you know it, you’ll be earning the same as Bill and Hillary.”

  “Yeah, right. Six figures to speak for an hour or less? Please.”

  “Anything’s possible with faith and hard work.”

  “True, but I never even thought I’d get to twenty thousand. I was just happy to get five and ten.”

  “I’m really happy for you, and so proud to be marrying a woman who has her own life and identity. It’s a good feeling, and I really respect you for that. A lot of women I’ve dated couldn’t have cared less about having a career or doing anything on their own. Mostly, they wanted to marry me because of the money I have. They wanted to shop and have babies. I don’t mind a woman doing either of those things, and I even encourage it, but I still want a woman who knows who she is and who wants to have a life outside of her husband and children.”

  “I’ve always wanted to work for myself. From the time I was a small girl, my mom told me that I should always be able to stand on my own two feet. And I’ve never forgotten that. Plus, in two years, I’ll be forty, and it’s like I’ve been saying to you all along, I’m not sure I wanna have any children. I’m also glad you don’t have a problem with that.”

  “I really don’t. My job requires a lot of hours and dedication, and there will certainly be times when you and I will both be traveling. So, if we have a child, I’ll be happy, and if we don’t, I’ll still be happy. Because let’s be honest, as much as I will love our child and I would want to be a full-time parent, you’ll end up doing most of the work. Most mothers tend to do the majority of it when it comes to raising children, so I want you to make the final decision about that.”

  “You’re such a thoughtful man, and that really means a lot, Chase.”

  Shortly after the waiter set their food in front of them, Chase and Alexis held hands while Chase said grace. But when they opened their eyes, Geneva and Renee, Chase’s ex, were walking toward them.

  Alexis wondered if anyone could see steam shooting from the top of her head. She wanted so badly to set Geneva straight. She wanted to call her everything but a child of God, yet she prayed for restraint.

  Geneva touched Chase’s shoulder. “Oh my. What a pleasant surprise. I knew you’d said you were taking Alexis to lunch, but I had no idea you were coming here.”

  It was right then and there that Alexis wanted to call Geneva a flat-out liar. She knew good and well that when Chase was working, he usually came to The Tuxson for lunch. This was only the second time, but Alexis was already growing tired of Geneva’s need to throw Renee in her face.

  Chase just looked at his mother, but for the first time, Alexis could tell he wasn’t happy with her. He knew she was trying to cause problems between them on purpose. Renee seemed to be enjoying the whole dirty scheme and basically couldn’t keep her eyes off Chase. But finally, she and Geneva said their good-byes and went on their way.

  Alexis stared at Chase with no smile and no words to speak.

  “Baby, I don’t know what to say. My mother never even liked Renee all that much when we were dating, so I can’t imagine why she’s spending time with her now.”

  Alexis thought about what Paula had said yesterday about Geneva only liking Renee now because she and Chase weren’t together any longer.

  “Chase, come on,” Alexis said. “She’s doing it because she doesn’t like me. She doesn’t want you to marry me, and she’s trying her best to break us up.”

  “Well, that’s not going to happen.”

  “I thought you were going to talk to her.”

  “I was, but I got home late and then I really didn’t think about it anymore.”

  “Well, I wish you’d sit down with her, because things can’t keep going like this. I know Geneva is your mom, but I won’t continue being around someone who goes out of her way to disrespect me. I’ve never done anything to her except try to be nice.”

  “I know that, baby, and again, I’m really sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility to talk to her.”

  “I will. I just don’t understand why Mother is doing this.”

  Alexis didn’t bother repeating what she’d told him only a few seconds ago: that his mother didn’t like her and she didn’t want him to marry her. It was as simple as that, and when a mother didn’t like her future or current daughter-in-law for no reason, there wasn’t a whole lot that could be done about it. But again, Alexis wanted Chase to talk to his mother so that she would at least stop playing games and being rude to her.

  Alexis gazed out the window, watching waves flowing down the river. Neither Chase nor she had spoken a word for the last five minutes. Finally, Alexis said, “I so wish my mom were here,” but she never took her eyes off the water.

  “I know, and I really wish I’d gotten a chance to meet her. It sounds like she was a wonderful woman.”

  “She was, and one of the things that made her so special was that she never tried to hurt other people. She always tried to say nice things or do nice things for others, even if she hardly knew them. She also had a big heart and a very forgiving one, and that meant everything.”

  “I realize this isn’t a very happy time of year for you and that you don’t like to celebrate, but I’m really hoping you’ll spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with Mother and me and a few of our friends.”

  Alexis continued looking toward the river because Geneva was the last person she wanted to be around for two days straight. Geneva would surely find more ways to make Alexis miserable, and Alexis didn’t want to deal with that. But she also didn’t want Chase to spend Christmas without the woman he was marrying. It wasn’t fair to him, and Alexis would do what she needed to do to be there for him.”

  “I would never spend such a special holiday without you,” she said. “It will be hard for me, the same as always, but at least we’ll be together.”

  Chase reached across the table and grabbed both of her hands. “Remember yesterday when I told you how much I love you?”

  Alexis looked at him and nodded.

  “Well, I hope you won’t ever forget that. You truly are my everything, and I always want to be here for you. I also don’t want to be like my father. Working day and night for years is what pretty much killed him, and I don’t want that kind of life. I’m not saying I want to give up my position as CEO, because I don’t, but what I do want is to be the kind of husband who has his priorities in order. God, you, my family, and then work. I don’t want it to be the other way around.”

  “I love you, too, and I’m so glad God brought us together,” she said, but she thought about Chase’s father and what he’d just told her about him. He was never home, and maybe this was the reason Geneva was so clingy when it came to Chase. Maybe this was also the reason she didn’t want him to get married. Alexis now felt a bit sorry for Geneva, and her heart softened toward her. Maybe what Alexis needed to do was sit down with her to let her know she wasn’t trying to take her son away from her. Alexis had always felt that a mother-in-law should never feel as though she’d lost a son, but instead she should be happy to have gained a daughter.

  Alexis smiled at Chase and knew what she had to do. Tomorrow morning, she would call Geneva to schedule a time to stop by to talk with her. After that, things would be fine between them, and Alexis and Chase could continue with their wedding plans in peace. Life would be better for all three of them.

  Chapter 8

  Alexis drove up Chase’s driveway and turned off her car. With as many times as she’d visited him, it was still hard to imagine that she would soon be living here. In only a few months to be exact. Chase’s home was breathtaking, inside and out. From the light brown brick exterior to the massive landscaping design, it was everything a woman could want. Marrying a wealthy man and having an eight-t
housand-square-foot home hadn’t been a lifelong dream of hers, yet for some reason, God had seen fit to give it to her. Unlike a lot of young girls who grew up fantasizing about the day they would marry their Prince Charming—specifically a rich one—Alexis had only wanted to graduate from college, find a husband who loved her unconditionally, and have a successful career she could be proud of. There was no doubt that Chase was in fact the man of her dreams, but she would have fallen in love with him even if he’d been her mailman. For all she cared, he could have earned minimum wage, working anywhere, as long as he loved her, spent quality time with her, and protected her.

  Alexis stepped out of the car, walked up the winding sidewalk, and rang the doorbell. Two large Christmas wreaths hung on either side of the double doors, and they were adorned with red and green silk ribbon. Margaret opened the door almost immediately. She was Chase’s housekeeper, and although she didn’t live there, she cooked meals, cleaned, and washed clothes for Chase and his mother five days a week.

  “Good morning, Miss Fletcher. Please come in,” Margaret said, standing slightly behind the wooden door.

  Alexis stepped inside the white marble entryway. “Thank you, and how are you today Margaret?”

  “I’m doing well.”

  Margaret showed Alexis into the living room. Shortly after, Geneva walked in but didn’t speak. She wore yet another expensive knit suit, and Alexis had learned a long time ago that Geneva dressed this way daily, even if she had nowhere special to go. Alexis, on the other hand, had on an off-white cashmere turtleneck sweater and jeans.