Beyond: Book Four of the State Series

by M. J. Kaestli

  “It’s making my skin itchy.”

  “Yeah, that’s the lace. It’s not practical, or comfortable. It’s something we only wear on special occasions like this. It’s worth it. You’ll see.”

  She led her in front of a mirror and Hope looked at the dress for the first time. She stood and stared at her own reflection trying to take it all in. The fabric touched the ground. It was so long, yet it hugged her curves perfectly. The lace material covered her upper chest and arms but the garment had a second layer of material which wasn’t see-through, covering her body from her chest to ankles. She couldn’t help but notice the soft coloring made her deep brown eyes seem brighter. Once she adjusted to her reflection, she instantly wondered what Joshua would think of seeing her in this dress.

  “It fits. It’s on. You look like a real bride. Let’s do this.”

  Adah reached up and combed her damp hair straight back. She combed out all the tangles from her baptism and then pinned the front and sides back. She retrieved a matching piece of fabric and fastened it to Hope’s head.

  Adah gave her another moment to look at herself before grabbing onto her hand. Adah led her into a large room with a stage at the front and a lot of seats setup on the floor.

  Joshua and the Reverend were waiting patiently at the front. When he turned to look at her, his jaw dropped. He took a moment to recover himself. Hope couldn’t explain how she knew, since she had only but just met Joshua, but she knew he liked her dress and how she looked in it.

  Adah grabbed her arm and escorted her to the front of the room. She took Hope’s hand and gave it formally to Joshua.

  “Reverend, begin when you’re ready.”

  ***

  “I now pronounce you, husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

  Joshua looked down at her, his eyes glistened with moisture. She knew they were tears of joy. He lifted his hand from hers and placed it on her cheek and slowly inched forward. His other hand slipped around her back and pulled her close. Her body nestled firmly against his; a perfect fit. She felt as though she belonged in his arms. She couldn’t have explained how she knew what was coming, yet she knew his soft, subtle lips would soon be pressed against hers.

  She closed her eyes in anticipation just before he made contact. His lips pressed to hers gently, cautiously, as though he was uncertain if she would want more. She lifted her hands and clasped them behind his neck. It seemed to be all the invitation he needed. His grip on her back tightened and his hands touching her face quickly reached around behind her. She could hardly fathom the sensations rippling through her core. Feeling his body pressed against hers; his warm mouth pressed against her lips.

  “Alright you two.” Adah grabbed onto Josh with one hand and tried to separate the two of them. “You will have plenty of time for that in the privacy of your home. That’s more than enough of that for polite society.”

  Joshua may have pulled back slightly but he didn’t let go. One of his arms stayed wrapped around her as he stepped to the side, keeping her as close to him as possible.

  “Well, since there aren’t any festivities, I think that leaves things down to just the two of you. I’ll share my congratulations with you then and be on my way.” He looked over at Joshua and shook his hand. “Josh, my boy. I know many of us have been worried about you for a long while. We didn’t think you was ever gonna be getting yourself a wife. As unconventional as this all seems, I’m mighty glad you found someone to marry you.”

  “Thank you, Reverend. And, thank you for being flexible. I know this was a bit odd. We are sure mighty grateful to you making adjustments for us."

  “Yes, Reverend, thank you.” Hope added quickly.

  The wedding had been a similar experience to her as her baptism except it took a little longer. It seemed to be some sort of ritual she didn’t understand which people made a big deal about and it was over quickly. She enjoyed the wedding more than her baptism as there was no cold lake and she got to kiss Joshua at the end.

  “Alright, you two. Why don’t you walk back to your place and I’m gonna run home and grab a few things first. Don’t go inside your house till I get there.”

  “Maw, maybe you can just sit this one out.”

  “Nope. There are certain parts to getting married that are tradition and you just can’t skip. The two of you are gonna be waiting outside your place until I get there, or there will be hell to pay.” She scurried off quickly.

  Joshua grumbled for a mere moment until he looked at Hope once again. Taking her hand in his, they walked towards the house.

  “For such a small woman, she can be a real bother at times.”

  Hope smiled and squeezed his hand.

  “I think she means well. I mean, didn’t you guys do all this for my protection?”

  Joshua stopped to look at her for a moment. “Hope, do you understand what we did today?”

  She stammered, trying to find the right words to articulate her answer. “I have never heard the word marriage before I met you, nor had I witnessed or taken part in any type of ritual such as what I have done today—at least I don’t think I have, but I do believe what we did has made us bound to each other.”

  He nodded and looked slightly relieved. “Yeah, that is what it is, essentially. This all happened so fast. I just wanted to make sure that you understood what we did before it was too late to get out of it.” He hesitated again. Hope could see the tension in his jaw as he searched for the right words. “I just want to make sure that you understand that you are bound to me, for the rest of your life.”

  Everything had happened quickly. She had not taken the time to think about it logically. But how could she? She had no data to compare this experience against. With no prior information, the only choice she had was to do what felt the best, safest, the most natural until she gained enough experience to have the data to help decide in the future. Based on instinct alone, everything about Josh added up. She didn’t know why she felt the way she did, but she knew he was kind and she could trust him. He would take care of her. He would be good to her.

  She stepped closer, placing both of her hands reassuringly on his face. “I understand that I come from a place filled with bad people. I don’t remember who I am, but I do believe that once I walked away from where you found me, it was too late to go back. I do believe from what we saw, the blood, and so much of it, my people think I am dead and they will not come looking for me. They didn’t even attempt to do something dignified with the remains. It seemed they cared more for that big shield than they did for the people who died. I think that told me all I needed to know about where I come from. I will have a better life here with you.”

  Joshua grabbed onto her aggressively, unlike the way he had been touching her with his mother present. He pressed her firmly into his body and kissed her once again. He dove in quickly and there was much more pressure behind his lips. Not long into the kiss he opened his mouth and pressed his tongue against her lips.

  Her entire body tingled as she parted her lips slightly to receive him. There was something about this that felt so familiar yet completely brand-new at the same time. She felt as though she understood what to do yet couldn’t recall any experience of such activities before. Although she was enjoying herself, her mind processed something he had just said. She pulled back after a moment and looked up at him.

  “What do you mean? You made it sound like our ceremony wasn’t binding. Why would I still have time to change my mind after the ceremony?”

  He gently pushed a piece of hair out of her eyes and smiled at her. “That ceremony was to bind us, but we also have to be bound physically before it takes effect. Once we are physically bound, nothing can ever undo our marriage. As of right now, we could go right back to the Reverend and have this be reversed. Tomorrow, it would be too late.”

  “What do you mean by being physically bound?”

  His face and neck flushed deep shades of scarlet and his eyes darted around uncomfortably.


  “Well, I don’t know all the details as it’s not something you’re supposed to do until after you get married, but I get the impression that kissing is a big part of it.”

  Before she could try to make sense of what he said or the conversation could get more uncomfortable, Adah reappeared with a large basket slung across her arm.

  “Well, what the heck are you doing here? You didn’t make it all that far.”

  “Yes, Maw, we started talking.”

  “I’m surprised you kids were just talking,” she said from the side of her mouth, muttering.

  Adah continued her quick pace with Hope and Josh following behind. Their casual walk was no longer on the agenda. As much as Adah had wanted to keep them apart before they got married, she seemed to be in a rush to get them home. Once they arrived, Adah made Joshua stay outside while she took Hope down the stairs with her large basket in hand.

  “Now, I know this isn’t much for a wedding feast, but we didn’t exactly get a lot of notice here. There is some dried meat, cheese and bread. I also brought you some canned fruits from last season and this here is a bottle of wine. This is what we drink on special occasions, and this is definitely a very special occasion indeed. You’ll have enough food here to last you till Saturday. I’m sure you and Joshua won’t want to step foot outside of this place until then.”

  After Adah finished placing all the food items on the table, she unfastened Hope’s dress, helping her slowly ease out. The moment she had completely stepped out, Adah rested the dress delicately on the back of the chair. She grabbed another slightly off-white garment with a similar pattern of lace but this garment was much smaller than her wedding dress. Adah immediately urged her to slip into this article as well. The moment Adah had tugged everything into the appropriate place, Hope looked down and realized this garment had a completely different function than the last.

  The slinky little number was sheer. She almost couldn’t comprehend wasting the fabric to begin with when so little of her body was covered. The dress came down to rest just above her mid-thigh. It hugged her curves and didn’t leave much room for imagination—especially around her breasts. Adah pulled the wedding veil from her head and carefully folded the items and placed them back in her basket.

  “Hope, do you understand what’s gonna happen tonight?”

  Her face flushed and then she realized the flush had reached her entire body. She felt as though she had some type of idea, but she didn’t understand the details, nor know the vocabulary to speak of such a matter.

  “I don’t understand everything, but I think I understand enough.”

  Adah nodded. “I tried to raise my boys right; to make them fine young men, but there are certain impulses that men can’t seem to control. I’m gonna tell him to not come running in here like a bull charging into a china shop, but it’s tough for them. If you don’t like the things he does tonight, just know that it will probably get better. And if it doesn’t, once you finish having your babies, you don’t have to worry about performing that wifely duty of yours anymore.”

  Hope smiled and nodded, trying to look happy or excited. The further Adah had gone into her explanation, the more confused she became. Trying to avoid Adah speaking further, she pretended to not only understand but to be happy about the arrangement.

  “Best of luck to you then.” Adah unexpectedly leaned forward and pulled Hope into an unwanted embrace. As she pulled away, she gave her a knowing look. “Now, I know some women think there is a trick to manipulate when they have a baby. They’ve got all these silly charts and calendars, saying they can control the timing of it all. I say that’s all hogwash. The good Lord is gonna bless you with a baby when he sees fit. Don’t go making a fuss over it.”

  Once again Hope nodded and gave Adah what she hoped was a reassuring look.

  Adah gave a firm nod and grabbed her basket, heading up the stairs. Hope continued to stand by the kitchen table as she didn’t know what else to do with herself.

  It appeared Adah was holding true to her word about having a talk with Joshua as he didn’t come down the stairs right away. After a few minutes’ time, she finally heard the outer doors shut and Joshua was softly pressing open the inner door. He poked his head through as though he was uncertain if he should enter the room. When he looked at her, his eyes bulged and his jaw hung slack. He stared at her body, looking from head to toe before he smiled.

  Hope felt a moment of panic when he gawked at her. Relief washed over her to see his smile. Slowly, he stepped forward, cautiously closing the gap between them. She took a few small steps herself, meeting him in the middle of the room. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly, then looked deeply into her eyes as though he would say something. Instead, he plunged forward into a kind of kiss which was deeper and more passionate than anything he had done before. He kissed her for a time and then slowly guided her a few steps back. He led her into the main bedroom and shut the door.

  “Welcome home, Mrs. Anderson.”

  As he kissed her again, he moved her towards the bed. There was no need to explain or any words to be spoken. She understood what Mrs. Anderson meant, although she didn’t understand the words Mrs. or Anderson. What she understood was they now belonged to each other. With no other data to make a proper comparison, she imagined this had turned out rather favorably.

  Chapter 11

  Joshua grabbed her, pulling her securely against him. She kissed him briefly before pulling away, giggling.

  “Josh, it’s time to go.” She laughed and swatted him away. He shook his head while pressing his lips against her cheek, working his way down to her neck. She pushed him off with a little more force and he begrudgingly moved away.

  “I should have never told you about the Saturday market.” He whined.

  “Then what would we eat?” She pulled further away from him in an attempt to finish getting dressed.

  “We’ve got food to spare.”

  “For how long?” She snatched the cotton dress from the closet and pulled it over her head. “We will be home soon enough. How long can this really take?”

  He made a slight mutter before he grabbed hold of his pants and stepped in, obviously thinking the better of what he was about to say.

  She brushed her hair. “How long will this take? Do we not simply retrieve our weekly supplies?”

  Josh sat on the bed, slumping his shoulders. “It might take a while.”

  “Might?”

  He sighed. “Yeah. I bet the moment we get there, we get pulled into a meeting. One of the town councils will be watching for you.”

  “Oh? What does that mean?”

  “They will want to interview you to see what kind of job you should have.”

  She paused momentarily then resumed working out her tangles. “Will I have a job? Or will they expect me to have multiple children?” She put down the brush and looked at him. “You kill animals as a job, correct? That’s what a job means, how I will contribute to the community.”

  He looked at her puzzled. “Yes, I provide meat to our community as my job. Why do you think having babies is an option? I never told you that.”

  She blinked a few times. “I’m not sure.”

  “We train all the women folk to do something, even if they don’t do it because they have too many babies.” He hesitated. “Is that something from your old life? Did the women have a choice between having babies or working?”

  She shrugged. “You know I can’t remember my old life, Josh.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think that’s entirely true. Sometimes you say things. Things like what you just said. I think you are telling me about where you came from, you just don’t know it.”

  “Well, you may be right. I could have trace memories of morality or how systems should function. We both know, I can’t utilize any of that information to piece together a clear image of who I was. I remember how to speak, which sometimes alerts me to when a word you say differs from how people communicated wh
ere I am from.”

  “I know. You didn’t get the word married.”

  She secured her hair back in a ribbon. It was apparent his mood had changed, yet she couldn’t comprehend why. She turned to him, seeing his face had fallen and his eyes cast off to the side.

  “Is something wrong?” She sat on the bed beside him.

  He shook his head, instantly attempting to plaster a smile on his face. “Nope. All good.”

  “Josh.” She pried.

  He breathed out a heavy breath. “It’s nothin’. I was just thinking stuff is all.”

  She reached out and delicately caressed his face. “What kind of stuff?”