Beyond: Book Four of the State Series

by M. J. Kaestli

“Can we talk again tomorrow?”

  “Yes, tomorrow then.”

  Chapter 16

  When Hope returned home, Joshua had already changed into a clean set of clothing and made dinner in her absence. He was cooking boiled potatoes and fresh steaks from his latest kill.

  “Mmmm, that smells good,” she said as she entered the house. She leaned towards him and kissed him on the cheek. His body stiffened, unyielding to her kiss. He continued to focus on cooking. She took off her work apron and washed her hands. “What can I do to help?”

  “Nothing. I’m almost done.”

  Alarm bells rang in her head. In the time they had been together, they had yet to have a fight, but she felt as though one was looming on the horizon. She couldn’t understand why. Everything had seemed normal that morning between them.

  “Is something the matter?” She asked as she sat down.

  “No.”

  She sighed. Something was most certainly the matter. They remained silent until he brought their plates over to the table. Joshua said a quick grace, and they started eating.

  “This is delicious. Thank you for making dinner.”

  He grunted in response.

  “How was your day?”

  “Fine.”

  She put down her fork. “Okay, what is going on here? You’re mad. I’m pretty sure you’re mad at me and you should just talk about it.”

  He chewed carefully, delaying his response. “I heard you’ve been spending time with Reuben.”

  She rolled her eyes and huffed. “And like the rest of the town, you think it is something scandalous. Do you really think I would have an affair?”

  “No, I don’t. But it’s kind of hard to defend your honor when you’re off doing things without telling me! If I had known you were spending time with him, or why you were, I could have had an answer but instead, I think it looked like you’re up to something because I didn’t know about it.”

  She winced, groaned, and laid her head on the table. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about it.”

  “Well, now that you’re thinking about it, how about you tell me what the hell is going on. The whole town is up in arms over this.”

  “Look, I started talking to him one day when we went to the market. After observing him, I realized I know how to weld. I demonstrated my skills to him and now he’s asked me to help fix certain items which are beyond his skill level.”

  “So, you know how to weld and fix things. Doesn’t that mean you’re gettin’ your memories back?” The color drained from her face. “And you reckon you should share that first with someone other than your husband?”

  “I’m sorry.” She bit her bottom lip.

  “Do you have your memories back? And if so, why haven’t you told me nothin’? Only my Maw and I know where you come from; I think I should be the first person you talk to about this.”

  “I don’t have all my memories back. I remember sparse fragments. It’s getting a little better day by day, but most of the time I am still quite foggy about everything.”

  “But why didn’t you tell me? Why are you keeping this a secret? Are you planning on going back and you need his help to build something to get there?”

  She blinked rapidly. “What? You think I would go back?”

  “Well, I don’t know what’s so special inside that dome, but I bet life is easier there than here. I can tell you aren’t thrilled about being a midwife. You got the husband all the other women passed on—bottom of the barrel. You are way smarter than anyone else here, so yeah, I worry you will want to go back.”

  The idea had never once crossed her mind, but as he laid it out, she was disappointed she hadn‘t realized he could draw such a conclusion.

  “Around here, when you get married, that’s it for life. I don’t know what it’s like under the dome. You didn’t even know about marriage when you came here. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything to you and you’re content to wander through life without a husband. I know you are different than the rest of us, and I don’t know if you will stick out the commitment you made to me because I don’t know that a marriage vow means anything to you or your people.”

  Hope realized her mistake. She had been so worried he would resent her when he found out who she was, but it was making him insecure instead.

  “I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner but you think my people are evil. I didn’t want you to think I was bad also until I decided that for myself.”

  “But of course you’re not bad. You’ve been baptized. That makes you different from the rest of the people where you come from.”

  Although she didn’t value her baptism the way he did, it still warmed her heart to know he believed in her, regardless of the reason.

  She placed her hand over his. He kept his gaze off to the side of her until he squeezed her hand reassuringly.

  “What would you like to know?”

  “When did you start getting your memories back?”

  “When I was welding. I’ve had many impressions about things—a sense of whether I had known or experienced something before. I got flashbacks when I was welding, then more have slowly crept in over time.”

  He nodded but kept his eyes down while he asked the next question. “Were you married?” He held his breath in anticipation of her answer.

  “We didn’t call it that, but yes, I had someone. I only remember his face and his name, and that he was kind. I know he was a scientist like me and we were working on building something.” Her eyes misted up with tears at the thought of how his life ended.

  “And you are planning on staying here? You’re not going back for him?”

  “Oh, Joshua, no. He’s dead. He was with me when… you found me.”

  He let out the breath he had been repressing. “Praise the Lord.” He looked at her and backtracked. “I’m sorry, I’m sure he was a nice man and didn’t deserve to die like that, but I am relieved he’s gone. I was worried you were married to both of us. I just can’t see the Lord being okay with that kind of arrangement.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything before?”

  “I didn’t think you remembered your previous life. If I told you about all these things going on in my head, I thought you might feel bad you couldn’t remember if you were married or not.”

  “But why did you marry me? Why take the chance if you thought I might have a husband?”

  He sat back in his chair and rubbed her hand with his thumb.

  “First of all, I didn’t think of it till after we were married. And second, well, I don’t think I thought much of anything through when I found you.”

  She took in a sharp breath. “Do you regret it? Do you wish you had left me behind?”

  “No. Not for a second. I’m glad I took you; I just never thought through how that would work out on your end. I didn’t think about if you’d be happy here, with me, in this life. Then I see you struggle with Miriam and that you don’t love being a midwife. My head starts spinning about what else you might not like too much here, and I just start to wonder if marriage means anything to you. I mean, I can tell you don’t really believe in the Bible. Everything about this life was just sprung on you. If you don’t believe that God cares about if we are married for the rest of our lives or not, I sometimes question if you will stay.”

  “Joshua,” she placed her other hand on top of his. “I know that in this community, most women see marrying a hunter as a lesser husband, but I don’t see it that way. I know how lucky I am to get such a good man to love me. I’m not going anywhere. I remember little about my life before, but I know enough to not want to go back. I am happy here with you, and I have no reason to ever leave.”

  “Ever?”

  She got up from her chair and sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Ever. I may not have fully understood my wedding vows at the time we got married, but I don’t regret them. I have everything I need here, with you.”

  He leaned up and kissed her gently. “Good, because I d
on’t either, and not because no one else would have ever married me. I love you. I fell in love with you the second I looked through that weird mask of yours when I found you.” He kissed her again but pulled away much quicker than she expected. “Are we having a baby?”

  Her face fell. She had been so busy thinking about the radio and welding she completely forgot he suspected she was pregnant.

  “Not this month.”

  He let out a heavy breath. “Are we doing something wrong?”

  “Well, we haven’t actually tried. We have just left it up to chance, but we could get a little more serious about it. I think it will just happen on its own in time.”

  “You don’t want to try for a baby?”

  “It’s not that I don’t want one, I think it will happen on its own. I don’t see the point of getting concerned about it is all. I hear that trying takes the fun out.”

  “You want to wait until God sends us a baby. You know, I can live with that—now that I know you want me and this life we are building.”

  “I do want this, and a baby. We will have a family.”

  “A family,” he sighed. “I want four boys and two girls.”

  She shifted to look at him. “Whoa, wait a minute there. How about one or two?”

  “That’s all you want?”

  She thought carefully before responding. “I think so. I think I come from a big family and feared having one for some reason, although that makes little sense.”

  “I can settle with two. But if the Lord has other plans for us, then we’ll get what we get.”

  They kissed again, and she hopped off his lap.

  “I’m afraid dinner is getting cold.” She returned to her own seat.

  “Will you tell me more about what you remember while we eat?”

  “I will.” She nodded. “And from now on, I’ll try to tell you everything as it comes.”

  ***

  “Hi Reuben, I’m sorry I’m late. Miriam keeps me later and later each day as a way of keeping me out of trouble.”

  “She still thinks we’re up to no good?”

  Hope raised an eyebrow. “She still thinks it and it is her favorite topic of conversation around the town.”

  “I’m sorry. Are things alright at home with all this?”

  She shrugged and took a seat. “I told Joshua the truth—well, part of it. He doesn’t know we are talking on the radio, but he knows I come up here to help you fix things.”

  “Why didn’t you tell him about the radio? I mean, I know we agreed to keep it between us, but he’s your husband.”

  “He is my husband; I love him and I would trust him if experience didn’t tell me not to.”

  Reuben shot a puzzled look her way.

  “That man is incapable of lying to his mother. If he knows, she knows and that means the whole town knows.”

  He laughed. “It’s okay, I didn’t tell my wife either. I reckon it would be about the same as Adah finding out. The women folk in this community love to have a good gab about what other people are up to.” He sighed. “Besides, we been married for too long for her to care much about what I’m up to. ”

  “Does she come up here? Has she seen it?”

  He shrugged. “Sure. We don’t have another access to our house. She walks through my shop every day. She don’t know that radio from another one of my tools. She ain’t dumb, but she ain’t smart like you.”

  She nodded and turned to the radio. Hope knew she needed to end the conversation about their spouses. If he wasn’t completely happy in his marriage, she needed to take precautions their relationship wasn’t too friendly. The last thing she wanted was to give him any ideas that would pair well with the rumors floating around town.

  “Hello, Clint, are you there?”

  They waited for a few moments and then tried again. After her third attempt, Clint finally clicked on his radio sounding out of breath.

  “Hope, is that you? I heard something and came running.”

  “Yes, we are here again.”

  “Good. That’s good.” He caught his breath and continued. “Is it still just the two of you who know about the radio?”

  “Yes,” Hope answered.

  “I’ve been worried all day the wrong person would find out about this and throw the damn thing in a fire.”

  “So am I, which is exactly why we have told no one.” She looked over at Reuben and back at the microphone. “I am a little concerned, however, how you want us to help you start a war. There is just two of us, and you said the rest of our community wanted nothing to do with this.”

  “You will be my eyes and ears to start, and eventually, you will need to convince that town of yours, but that’s not for some time.”

  “What are you planning, or have been planning before we came into the picture?”

  “Honestly, you showing up doesn’t change our plans, it just makes it easier to have someone there on our side.”

  She tensed. Clint seemed to be hungry for war, where this community was against it. How were they going to help Clint and convince the entire community to reconsider? “Okay, how?”

  He blew out some air. “The plan we have is the same plan we always have had. It isn’t much, but it’s the best we’ve got. You see, part of the dome’s advantage is fire power and of course, the physical barrier of the dome itself. I’ve always wondered if that’s the reason they built it.”

  “No, they tell everyone inside the world is uninhabitable.”

  “Yes, of course, but I wonder if it isn’t multipurpose. The dome has a significant population inside, but how many of that population are trained to fight? We could have a decent size army, but transporting them to the dome without getting noticed or dying along the way is going to take some time. Once we arrived, we would need a good rest before we would be fit to fight. That’s where your community comes in. I need an outpost closer to the dome. I need a place to send an army where they can recover from a journey which could take months.”

  “Months? Where the heck are you?”

  Clint was silent for a time in response. “If you’ve never seen maps, I can’t explain it to you. We’re about a thousand miles north and west from the dome. It was once called Idaho.”

  Hope scrunched her face. “What’s a mile?”

  “You don’t know what a mile is?” Reuben cut in. “They just march you around in circles inside that dome? You haven’t ever measured anything?”

  She looked at Reuben blankly. “I learned how to measure, but I’ve never heard of miles.”

  “How about inches?” Clint asked. “A yard? A foot? Any of those ring a bell?”

  Her face flushed. “No. Is this something from the Bible?”

  Reuben shook his head. “You ain’t read the Bible? Hope, you were baptized.”

  The crimson color spread to her neck and chest. “I tried to read it.” Clint’s laughter echoed through the radio. “I gave up and just pretend I have. I think Adah and Josh have told me enough about it to get by without reading the whole thing.”

  “It wasn’t from the Bible.” Clint introjected. “It was a system the Americans used, but other countries didn’t. I guess you learned the Metric system inside the dome, whatever—the point is, it would take us a long time to walk there. You have only seen such a small amount of space; you don’t have a clue how big this chunk of rock is. We have old maps which help to understand the scope.”

  Hope nodded, the heat of her face returning to its normal shade. Her ignorance wasn’t her fault and couldn’t be helped.

  “So basically, you need us to take your group in when you get here.”

  “Anything you could do would be greatly appreciated. I think most of what we need is for you to watch the dome people. We once knew their habits, but that was many generations ago. We need a modern account of their behaviors and everything you can see.”

  “How long do you think it will take till everyone gets here? How long do we have to get ready?”

  “I’m
not sure. I need to talk to the other surviving communities we are still in contact with. We don’t have enough manpower in our community alone. The only advantage we will have is the element of surprise and manpower if I can get enough people to fight.”

  She looked at Reuben and sighed. “If we are to observe, and I mean properly observe, I have to tell Joshua. He is a hunter, in the perfect position to observe—that’s how he found me. I can’t be constantly wandering off without a proper explanation of where I have been or he’ll worry. How do I get him involved without him getting mad at me or involving his mother?”