"That's not fair, Jaeger!” she seethed. “It's true that I did not approach this with anything more than a partnership in mind, but it has become much more than that."
Jaeger wasn't listening. His anger and hurt had closed off his understanding. He spun away from her. “If you only wish a partnership, then you shall have one. With Celd. You'll be treated as a queen, Rhiannon. He is, after all, one of the Chosen. His father is High Chancellor. He's practically a prince in the Lair! And you, after all, do carry his child."
Darius let out a gasp of surprise. He jerked his gaze to Jaeger. “What? Celd has already implanted the embryo?"
"Yes,” Jaeger snapped, again forgetting just whom he spoke to. “More than a month ago."
"Then why is she here? Why is she not with Celd?"
Rhiannon exploded with fury. She raged to her feet and grabbed up the cloak. “I'll not be with any man unless I choose to be!” she spat.
"Where are you going?” Jaeger demanded.
"None of your business! This ‘partnership', as you so coldly label it, has ended!” She stormed out of the cave into the sunshine.
His anger snuffed out, Jaeger rushed forward, only to be stopped by the blinding glare of the sun on bare rock. He shielded his face. “Rhiannon! Come back! You can't go off alone! Please, come back!"
There was no answer, and Jaeger spun in panic toward Darius. “Please, Elder, go after her. Bring her back."
Darius sighed. “I cannot. Even for me that sunlight is too intense. I fear we'll have to wait until evening."
"Rhiannon!” Jaeger called again, then again, and again, until his voice was hoarse and raw. She did not return.
Chapter Thirteen
Darius waited a moment, then rose and approached Jaeger. He hesitated before reaching out and drawing Jaeger into his embrace. The unexpected action, the paternal touch, only served to further Jaeger's heartache, and he very nearly collapsed into Darius’ arms. The older Vector led him back to the fire and urged him to sit.
"This love,” he said at length, “this love you feel for this woman, what do you think it is?"
Jaeger scrubbed at his eyes, shaking his head. “What do you mean?"
"Well,” Darius said slowly, “you have only just come into your Growth. From what Celd told me, you have experienced human blood and the human body for the first time."
Understanding crept over Jaeger. “You mean, do I love her or simply lust after her?"
Darius nodded. “The two can oftentimes become confused in the young."
Jaeger snorted. “I am hardly young, Darius. I should think I would know love when it hits me full in the face."
"It is not your face I am wondering about,” Darius said.
Jaeger felt the color rush to his cheeks, and he averted his gaze. “Yes, I have experienced Rhiannon as a woman. More than once. I don't believe that affects my feelings for her, except to strengthen them. I love her, Darius. She claims a part of my heart that will belong to no other."
"And will you love her still when she births Celd's child?"
Jaeger drew a slow breath. “Yes, though I am not sure what we will do with the child once it is born. It will die unless it feeds on blood within hours of its birth, yet I cannot willingly force Rhiannon to supply that blood. Better that it dies."
Darius was quiet a moment before speaking. “If it dies, your life will be forfeit. You know that."
Jaeger felt a shiver of trepidation run through him. “My life is forfeit now,” he replied. “I attacked one of the Chosen. I stole away an impregnated hostess. I defied the Lair and the Sovereign. Just as my father did.” He eyed Darius with a sigh. “I don't believe your presence here is an accident, or because of your undying friendship for me. Are you here as Darius, friend, or Darius, Elder?"
Darius grimaced, though true hurt flickered through his dark eyes. Jaeger winced and mumbled soft apologies.
"You're right,” Darius said at length. “In some things. I was sent to find you, to take you back to the Lair for your punishment. But that issue is a bit clouded by my closeness with you, and with your father. When he was ... banished ... and your mother killed, I took it upon myself to look after you. Apparently, I have not done such a wonderful job."
Jaeger let out a wry chuckle. “My father. I hadn't talked of him for years. Now he seems to be in every waking thought. I guess what they say is true after all. Like father, like son. He was banished for loving my mother and letting her live after my birth, for protecting her those long seven years while they ran from the Sovereign. In the end, it served neither of them. He was banished, she was killed. And me, I live in their shadows, trying to forget one and trying to always remember what the other told me.” He rose to pace. “Now, here I am, attempting to protect another human from the same fate.” He looked at Darius. “So, when will we return to the Lair? What will my punishment be? The slow death Celd outlined? Or is there something far worse?"
"The High Chancellor has left it up to me.” Darius paused, then continued in answer to Jaeger's questioning glance. “There are some benefits to being as old as I am, and with having implanted as many embryos as I have."
"This can't be easy for you,” Jaeger said. “I suspect there is a bit of punishment being dealt to you as well. Perhaps for allowing me to follow my mother's wishes in regards to my feeding preferences all of these years?"
Darius was quiet for a moment as he studied Jaeger's face. “Perhaps. Still, I know the pain you are experiencing, Jaeger. One of my children was also in love with a human. He paid dearly for that love. I don't want to see the same thing happen to you."
Jaeger looked at him in surprise. “I didn't know that."
Darius gave a wry smile. “There are many things about me that you do not know, Jaeger. For one, I am not in agreement with all that our Sovereign says and does. I do not condone the use of hostesses to bear Vector children. I see no point in it, to be honest, other than saving the shape of a Vector mother. And, believe it or not, there are plenty who agree with me.” He tossed another small piece of kindling onto the fire. “And I do not agree with the punishment he has outlined for you."
"And that punishment is what?” Jaeger asked, his heart pounding.
Darius sighed, as if unwilling to voice the awful truth. “I will not take you back to the Lair, Jaeger. I don't need to. What must be done, will be done here. But it will be on my terms, not the Sovereign's."
"You risk much, Elder,” Jaeger said quietly.
Darius shrugged, no sign of worry on his face.
Jaeger shifted uncomfortably, wishing Darius would just get on with it, and yet wishing he wouldn't. “One thing, Darius. Don't let Celd have Rhiannon. Please. If he must claim the child, then so be it, but please don't let him have her."
Darius studied Jaeger for a long moment. “That will be up to you,” he said finally.
Jaeger started to question him, but was suddenly seized with agonizing pain. It tore through his body, ripped into his soul, left his mind numb with confusion and alarm. His eyesight blurred, dimmed, then disappeared completely. Cold gripped him, set his teeth chattering, his body shuddering. He felt himself crumple, felt the cold stone beneath him, felt his cheek strike rock, but could do nothing to stop his fall. He lay paralyzed with both pain and terror. Darius’ voice came to him as if down a long tunnel.
"The punishment is complete,” he said softly. “In time, you will accept it. In time, you will understand. And perhaps this is for the best, Jaeger. I will not lose you, too."
Jaeger trembled, welcoming the veil of blackness that finally descended over him.
~*~
He woke to nightfall and silence. His head pounded with pain, his stomach rumbled with hunger. He stretched, then frowned. He didn't feel right. He turned his head, and a low yowl escaped him. He was no longer a man. Four heavy paws were where hands and feet should have been, attached to a muscular body that bore not skin and clothing, but fur. Sleek, shiny, black fur that picked up the brilliant m
oonlight from beyond the cave and splintered into dozens of colors.
Jaeger rolled and came dizzily to his feet. He tried to shapeshift back to his Vector form and found he could not. Panic replaced the confusion. He tried again and met with the same failure.
He was trapped in the body of a mountain cat.
Realization came slowly to his fogged mind. Darius had done this. This was his punishment. He was no longer of either the human or Vector world. He was an animal. And, most likely, destined to stay that way forever. His father had suffered the same punishment. How fitting, he thought now, to follow in his father's footsteps so literally. Perhaps he would be hunted down and shot. Some day his skin might hang above a mantle or warm the floor before a hearth. With an inward shudder, he padded silently to the mouth of the cave.
A cold wind blew, ruffling the tops of the grass and flowers. Jaeger lifted his head and sniffed. His senses as a Vector had always been acute; now, as a mountain cat, they were even more so. His tufted ears swiveled, picking up sounds too quiet for any but another animal to hear. His eyesight cut through the darkness, able to see shape and form, though not color in the dim light outside. His stomach again reminded him that he was hungry.
He left the cave quietly, not looking back. It was over, his life as Jaeger the Vector. There was little sense in dwelling on it. His thoughts went to Rhiannon; and just as quickly he tore them away, pushing them to the far corners of his mind. There was even less sense in thinking about her. She was lost to him forever. Not only was she carrying a Vector child that would insure her slavery to Celd, but she could certainly never love the animal that Jaeger had become. He increased his gait, loping down the mountainside, on the watch for anything he could catch to take the dull ache from his belly.
He found a ground squirrel. The chase was brief, easy, over in a heartbeat. Jaeger tore into the dead animal, gulping down mouthfuls of raw meat, licking the red blood from his paws and claws. He felt revitalized, energetic, but not satiated. He continued to prowl for something more substantial. As he walked, he assimilated his predicament, puzzled at his own calm acceptance of it.
He knew what to expect, though how he knew was beyond him. Perhaps Darius had gifted him with an explanation, given while he lay unconscious on the floor of the cave. Like his father, he was trapped inside this animal body, unable to speak yet retaining the intellect and emotions of a man. It was banishment like no other. Doomed to a life of solitude, he would wander forever. A shudder ran through him at the thought, and he quickened his pace. How could Darius have chosen this particular punishment for him? He had thought of the Vector as a friend, almost a father. On the other hand, he guessed no one really had a friend once they had defied the Sovereign. Still ... he tried to snort, let out a low growl instead, and startled away a jackrabbit exploring outside its burrow.
Jaeger darted forward, batted at the burrow opening, then began to dig, sudden anger driving his actions. He knew he wouldn't catch the rabbit, but he didn't care. He only wanted to release the rage that festered inside him. Dirt and rocks flew from his strong paws, filled the air with dust and bits of grass. The debris settled over his black coat, gritted in his eyes, soured his tongue. It was only when he was thoroughly exhausted, drained of his anger that he stopped.
He sat back on his haunches, head hanging. If he had still been a man, he would have wept. But he wasn't. And would never be again.
He struggled to his feet and once more began to walk. He kept to the mountains, wondering if he would be able to survive in the daylight, wondering if Darius had left him with that Vector curse. If so, he would need a place of refuge, a place to hide until night came again. Though why he bothered keeping alive, he didn't know. Or did he?
The thought hit him hard, stopping him in his tracks. Rhiannon. She was why he had to stay alive. He had to find her, protect her. If Celd showed up—Jaeger's cat eyes narrowed to mere slits—he would kill the Vector. Somehow.
He increased his gait to a lope. He would find her, return her to the cave where she had left the supply pack, watch over her until the child was born. And then? He shook the dirt from his fur. He didn't know what he would do, didn't know what course of action he would take. But he was sure of one thing—he would not let Celd have Rhiannon.
He began to run, his long muscles rippling beneath his fur, propelling him over the ground effortlessly. He tested the air constantly, seeking out the scent that would lead him to her. He slowed only when his acute senses were overwhelmed with it, the sweet, intoxicating scent that was Rhiannon. He moved ahead slowly, cautiously, his gaze flicking over the dark terrain. Finally, he saw her.
She sat, back against a boulder, cloak drawn tight, chin resting on her knees. The moonlight kissed her tousled hair, and Jaeger remembered running his fingers through it. He remembered how soft it was, how it curled about his bare chest and shoulders as they had made love. The thoughts cut into his heart, and he shuddered, willing them away.
Silently, he approached her, then stopped when she lifted her head and gasped. Her face was wet, her tears glittering like silver jewels in the moonlight. He took another step toward her, but stopped when he saw her stiffen in alarm. For a long moment, she watched him, her brow furrowing in puzzlement.
Jaeger wasn't sure what to do. It was obvious she didn't know him. Whatever it was that had allowed her to see him before no matter what shape he took, apparently was now gone. Still, she didn't seem unduly frightened of him. More like wary. He lay down in the dust, placing his head between his front paws, and looked up at her.
"Well,” she whispered. “What now?"
Jaeger briefly closed his eyes at the sound of her voice. He wanted to be next to her, to dry her tears, to ease her fears, to somehow make her know who he was. He opened his eyes, hoping beyond hope she could see past the animal.
Her frown deepened. “What do you want with me? If you wish to make a meal of me, then do so. Get it over with. I've nothing left to live for, anyway."
Her words cut into his heart. He lifted his head, a soft mew escaping him. Even though he knew she didn't understand, she still spoke as if she did.
"Oh? The child?” She laid one hand on her belly. “Yes, there is the child to think about, isn't there? But it's not mine. It belongs to someone else, and I won't be able to keep it. And ... and...” Her tears resurfaced.
Jaeger responded instinctively, moving up next to her. She cried out in terror, pressing herself against the rock. Jaeger leaned forward and gently licked the tears from her cheeks. She let out a soft squeal, but he persisted.
"So,” she said, her voice trembling. “Are you simply tasting me for later?"
It would have made him laugh had he been a man. Now, the best he could do was rub his head against her chin, hoping she would understand. When he drew back, she regarded him curiously. Slowly, she reached up and placed one hand on each side of his face, then peered into his dark eyes. He remained still, praying she would at last see who he truly was.
"Jaeger?” she breathed, then shook her head. “No. No, you would change back.” She released him with a heavy sigh.
Jaeger's gut flipped. Yes! He wanted to scream. Yes, it's me! Please, Rhiannon, see that. Please. He shook his head from side to side and placed one large paw on her arm. She managed a small smile.
"You certainly are a friendly one,” she said, reaching out to stroke him between the ears. “I could use a friend about now.” She paused, glancing around. “I don't suppose you know where I could find some food, or a place to sleep?"
Jaeger leapt away from her, then back, then again away.
Rhiannon watched his wild antics, then rose. “Should I go with you, then?” She shrugged. “What do I have to lose? Except maybe my life."
Jaeger came to her side and gently gripped the edge of her cloak in his mouth. He tugged at it, forcing her to take several steps alongside him. She nodded and followed along obediently.
They walked the rest of the evening, Jaeger leading the way, pro
dding her when she slowed or stopped. Her fear of him, of what he might do, kept her moving. As morning broke, they finally came within sight of the cave. Rhiannon seemed too tired to notice she was in a familiar place as she sagged to a boulder to rest. Jaeger glanced at the sky, then tugged again at her cloak.
"Please,” she begged. “I need to stop. I'm tired."
Jaeger pulled harder, but she ignored him. Finally, he spun and bolted the remaining distance to the cave. Once inside, he grabbed up the pack with his teeth, then raced back to where Rhiannon waited. She let out a loud gasp when he dropped the pack at her feet. Her gaze shot to his face.
"Jaeger!” she cried, falling to her knees before him. “By the gods, it is you! Why don't you change? Why are you staying in this form?” She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him.
Jaeger closed his eyes in relief and nestled against her.
Chapter Fourteen
Rhiannon stared at him over the flickering flames of their campfire. She had finally made it into the cave and rekindled the fire. Jaeger hadn't risked going outside yet, wasn't even sure if he could. He was content just to know where Rhiannon was, that she was safe and that she was aware of who he was. He wished he could explain to her what had happened. She had asked time and again, obviously expecting he would soon change back to his Vector form and answer her pleas.
Now, she had lapsed into silence, merely watching him. It was almost more than he could stand. He sprang up and padded over to press against her. She absently reached up to stroke his furred head.
"You can't, can you?” she finally asked. “That other Vector did this, didn't he? Because of me?"
Jaeger stared at her, astounded at her perception. She wiped furiously at tears that trickled down her cheeks.
"This is all my fault. If I had not sought you out in the first place, none of this would have happened.” She gave a grim laugh. “And you believed it was I who was in danger being with you. It was surely the other way round."
Blood Bred Series Book 1: Gift Of Love Page 9